My Magazine Ch. 09

"Beg your pardon miss. I'm Mr Hopper. It's Tuesday and I clean Mr Brooks' pool on Tuesday afternoons. But I can't get the cleaner vacuum hose connected because your chair is over the outlet where I need to connect the hose."

"Oh I'm sorry," said Jenni, about to sit up. She froze, realising she was starkers. Old Mr Hopper must have had a view usually shared only with a lover or a gynaecologist.

"C-c-could you please hand me my towel?"

"Certainly miss. Great weather to get an all-over tan, is it not?"

"Yes indeed," she said weakly.

"Pleasant views one gets from here, don't you think?"

Jenni didn't quite know what to think.

"I guess so. I'll go inside and faint."

"Pardon?"

"Never mind Mr Hopper. Good afternoon."

"Am I likely to see you next Tuesday?"

"I don't think so."

Entering the house Jenni went straight to the liquor cabinet, poured a three finger measure of whisky and downed it in two gulps. As the fire went through her, she slowly smiled and thought how lucky she was that Mr Hopper had not had a heart attack upon seeing her so utterly revealed.

Had that happened, she could image the headline in the Jersey... whatever: 'Elderly Pool Man's Fatal Collapse onto Nude Women with Hose in His Hand.

She was sure that not even small community newspapers would write headings that long, and thinking about the wording she began to laugh, the volume rising to near hysterical level. She rammed both hands over her mouth in case Mr Hopper heard her and came running in to share the joke - leaving his hose back in the pool, of course.

Tears of laughter began to run down her flushed cheeks.

The rest of that day passed uneventfully, with Jenni not bothering to cook a proper meal or going out to a restaurant.

She fiddled around in the pantry and finally produced with glee a can of spaghetti. She'd not had canned spaghetti on toast since her flatting days, as far as she could remember. But there was no bread in the house, not surprisingly, as the owner was overseas. So she had spaghetti over plain biscuits, went to bed and fell asleep, unaware that a near full moon was rising and slowly filling her room with its romantic light.

Some dozen properties away, old Mr Hopper would as also asleep she thought and probably replaying today's pool-cleaning surprise - only in the dream he being twenty-five years younger!

In the morning Jenni heard someone knocking at the door. She had no idea of the time and didn't care. She found a woman's dressing gown in the wardrobe and put it on, noticing some very exotic underwear stacked on the shelves.

The door knocker was Snowy, looking very cheerful and wearing a blue cap, blue polo shirt, white shorts and sandals.

"I've forgotten what you eat for breakfast so I've bought a bit of everything from the village," he said.

They kissed and patted each other's back.

Jenni went to dress while he unpacked French bread, reduced fat butter, apricot jam, yoghurt, a tin of pineapple and bacon, eggs and tomatoes. During the next hour they nibbled food beside the pool.

Snowy said, "You look as if you caught a bit of sun yesterday afternoon"

"No I think it's lingering embarrassment."

"How could be get embarrassed in this wonderful setting?"

"Oh, I would think it would be possible, would it not, being a place of great views?"

"What on earth are you talking about?"

"Oh, don't worry - I'm just suffering Jersey malaise - it's something that afflicts busy people who succumb to the laid-back ways of this enchanting retreat."

"Have you been drinking?"

"Today? Nope. I'm just incredibly relaxed, having had the longest sleep in fifty years."

"But you're not fifty yet?"

"Oh, ain't I? Well, it was a very long sleep and I hope Mr Hopper survived the night."

"Who's Mr Hopper?"

"Oh, a relative of the Ancient Mariner whose white hair stood on end yesterday."

"On what end?"

"Oh the silly questions you keep asking," snorted Jenni, and pushed Snowy and his chair and the cup of coffee he was holding into the pool and then sauntered off.

"What the hell!" he yelled, coming back to the surface.

"Poor boy. Did you slip? Come for a walk with me and you'll dry off."

"My watch, my watch. I had my watch on, you fool."

"Oh dear if there's a problem that comes from being a cheapskate. If you'd bought a decent watch it would be waterproof."

"Um it is water resistant to 15 metres I think. Jenni are you all right? I've never seen you like this, ever."

"Come for a walk, sweetie. This is an enchanting place. I awoke during the night and was covered with moon-glow. You are so uptight. Thanks for bringing those goodies for brekky. We had a lovely time until you fell into the pool."

"Jenni, have you found a cache of illegal pills and been swallowing them?"

"No it's just that this place has seduced me."

"Who's seduced you?"

"Old Mr Hopper?"

"Who's Old Mr Hopper?"

Jenni decided it was time to become a grownup again, someone who didn't eat spaghetti on dry biscuits on top of three glasses of neat whisky - who then slept in the nude on a waterbed bathed for half the night in moon-glow.

"Sorry to have dunked you, Snowy. Come here and let me cuddle you.

"There feeling better?"

"Yep but that's enough. I promised myself I would not be unfaithful."

"Right and good for you. But to enjoy a hug does not mean anything more than that."

"True but I can remember days when we touched and the next minute we'd be going at it like ferrets."

"I think you mean rabbits. But we're older, much wiser and less athletic these days Snowy and you are spoken for. I was not about to grant you your wish."

Snowy looked at Jenni sternly.

"My wish is that those two men were here and that you closed the deal and we could get the hell out of here so that I return to my beloved in one piece. You are dangerous when you're like this Jenni."

"Am I? Oh dear. I tell you what - let's go for a long walk and I promise I'll keep my hands off you and if I start feeling sexy I'll think of old Mr Hopper and that will cure me for good."

"This Mr Hopper, who is he?"

"He's a man who shall remain in my mind for the rest of my life Snowy. Yesterday afternoon I was dozing in the nude on a sun-loafer, my legs wide open, my breasts not having the benefit of any support. He arrived to clean the pool and my chair was over the outlet where he needed to connect the suction hose. How long had he been standing there waiting for me to move, I don't know. To him I must have looked like a beached whale."

"You're too slim to look like a whale.

"To him I must have looked like a beached emaciated whale."

"Dear me what can I say?"

"You could say 'Yes, let's go for a long walk.' That would be nice."

"I would, but the brass will be here within the hour."

"Good, let's go for a two-hour walk."

"What and keep them waiting for an hour?"

"Yes, if a woman makes a man wait he's keener than ever when she finally shows up. Didn't I teach you that?

The two visitors had waited for more than an hour before Jenni and Snowy neared the sprawling home.

"I wonder what they've been doing?" Snowy muttered

"Dealing with an angry Mrs Hopper complaining that her husband's blood pressure had gone completely awry I reckon," Jenni speculated.

The Zephyr men, David and Ron, were in the TV room watching a war film on DVD.

"Good morning," Jenni said brightly. "You guys should be out there in the sun, horsing around playing quoits or in the pool."

"Ron you know Snowy."

"David Brooks, this is my friend Vincent McKissock who goes by the name of Snowy. His company is Moonglow Advertising."

The men shook hands, both Zephyr men looking at Snowy suspiciously.

To avoid prolonging the confusion Jenni said that Snowy arrived earlier that morning to be her advocate in negotiations.

"You're late and we don't want outsiders involved in this."

"That's fine David. Snowy can sit outside and play tiddlywinks in the sun. He'll need a rest after our long walk. We'll go inside to the dining table and you can talk away and I'll listen. I can then come out and go for a long walk with Snowy to brief him on the situation and then we can wander back, have another session and so on. I'm happy to do that. I love it here; it makes me feel so languid as if time is standing still."

David scowled, giving a most abrupt invitation: "You better join us Vincent."

"Jenn have you ever been involved in something called a simple meeting?" Ron grinned, talking her by the arm. Looking over his shoulder he said, "Come on Snowy. David's grumpy as he's terrified of flying. He's phoned Mrs Hopper and her daughter yesterday to do us coffee and ..."

"What's so funny Jenni, what did I say?

"Only Mrs Hopper - but go on Ron, I promise to keep my clothes on."

Ron gave her a funny look,

"They'll serve coffee and sandwiches at midday and lunch at 2:00. David will need to call and advise we have a third person with us now."

David was already making the call. He then had a change of mind, saying that they should not be inside. They sat at a round table that could easily seat ten people, sheltered by an enormous sun umbrella. From there they looked past the pleasant views of small hills, vineyards, sea and other islands that Mr Hopper may have been referring to the previous day.

"Right, Jenni. Let's be brief. We're here because I have a hunch that your magazine should be under our roof right now and that you should be taking us on to bigger things. I've learned to respond to my hunches and you must be interested otherwise you wouldn't be here."

They all looked at Jenni, who bent over her fingers nails examining them.

"Oh no," murmured Ron, just loud enough for Snowy to hear. "Not another troublesome meeting with Jenni."

She said, "What you say sounds reasonable - give me your best offer."

"Relax David - you guys know that the trappings that go with business gets up my left nostril. I'm having difficulty finding suitable permanent accommodation - there is one quite appealing proposal on the table, but its complications will divert me from my mission. So the easy way out is to listen to you trying to steal My Magazine and re-engage me for a pittance."

David stood, pulled the bottom of his shorts straight and scratched himself. He walked out three paces then spun around, facing Jenni.

"Tell me, what you want?"

"Well what you said on the phone sounded nice - joint managing director with Ron. I'd like that, and if he ever goes I'd leave as well. I don't give a tinker's about ego-appealing wheels; I'll just accept all expenses paid relating to my current small BMW."

David gave a thumb up to that proposal.

"Second, my current team transfers over en bloc on current salaries plus a 7.5% pay increase and they stay in their present positions working exclusively on My Magazine unless they approach management to shift to another title or leave the company."

David whispered to Ron who looked as if he were doing mental calculations before replying in a whisper.

Jenni whispered to Snowy. "They are amateurs really. They seem to think this secondary conferring breaks down resistance."

"Yeah agreed. He wants your mag badly Jenni."

David cleared his throat, announcing he was ready to resume. But at that moment a well-developed forty-year-old in a blue and white bikini came in carrying a tray of coffee in cups and saucers. Normally David would have grumped to take them back and return with the coffee in mugs because that's how he liked it, but he had his attention diverted because the top of the bikini was, well, rather too small.

On the other hand, Jenni and Snowy were looking at the trailing woman carrying a heaped plate of muffins - Mrs Hopper. Jenni caught her eye and nodded and it happened so quickly but she was sure that the old lady had winked at her. Good heavens, what did that mean?

They drank coffee, the men munched muffins and they all chatted about wines, restaurants and queer characters. After the mention of queer characters David had suggested that Jenni should buy a place on the island as she would fit in exceedingly well. The tiny smile at the corners of his mouth confirmed that he'd just had a crack at her, and that made Snowy bristle.

David resumed the discussion by announcing, "Now, where was I?"

"You were telling Jenni that you want her magazine badly."

David looked at Snowy with his upper lip curling. But he didn't hit back. Instead he asked why her staff should receive a pay rise.

"To compensate them for yet another relocation brought on by Zephyr."

"Oh I see. What do you say to that, Ron?"

"It doesn't matter what Ron thinks, David," Snowy said coolly. "That condition is non-negotiable."

Thank you Snowy, thought Jenni, who hadn't quite decided if she would agree to go down to 5%. But Snowy was right to be that tough. If she were to become group editor with special responsibilities for merging the new magazines into Zephyr's stable of publications, she would need to have a satisfied bunch producing the flagship magazine.

"Agreed."

"Identical salary and perks as Ron but keeping my current car."

David looked uneasy. What was that it? Had something happened to the new magazine - perhaps the public was boycotting it.

"What are the latest sales figs on My Magazine Ron?"

"Feedback received just before we left this morning indicated fewer than five thousand copies of the total eighty thousand printed including the second print were left on shelves throughout the entire country and London outlets are screaming for more and orders are pouring in from overseas, especially from Australia."

"You should have printed more and pleaded with Jenni to give you the authority."

"We conferred and agreed on the numbers for the second run David," said Jenni. "Sales will far exceed expectations whereas I was even nervous about the size of the original print run. We deal with the unknown and usually you land on a donkey when you get greedy. Besides, having angry would-be consumers screaming for copies will make everyone sit up and take notice - particularly advertisers."

"She's right David."

"Yeah," agreed Snowy.

"Well, Jenni is that everything?"

"Yes, apart from one teeny thing - the price you'll pay for My Magazine."

"Ah yes. Name a commercially sensible price to transfer your exclusive intellectual property rights to us Jennie and I'll pay. Try to squeeze too hard and I'll walk."

"Seven hundred and fifty thou and that includes covering all my establishment costs."

"That's outright extortion, Jenni and you know it."

"It's a potential gold mine, David and you know it.

Standing again David checked his zip, scratched his ear and looked appealing to the blue sky.

"David a print run of sixty thousand My Magazine promos goes out on Monday to be sold for two bucks a pop," Snowy drawled. "We will have thirty second ads on morning TV and selected radio stations promoting the promo on Monday simply saying, 'Lady Bolt's reaction is available to read in a promotion for My Magazine published today. Buy it from your book shop of newspaper agency now - for only two dollars.'"

"I expect it will be sold out in most places before nightfall."

"But publishing that's in breach of our printing contract," charged Ron, bristling.

"Steady on Ron, I think they have by-passed that restraint. Apart from that story and the cover charge, it is a genuine promo?"

"Yes."

"I'm almost certain there is no restraint on where promos are printed, Ron. It is not usual to do so. What they have done is therefore legit."

Jenni moved to ease tension.

"Lady Bolt's story published in Issue 2 in three weeks' time would have received only token interest. Sorry Ron, I had to do this behind you back."

"In your shoes, I would have done the same thing," David smiled. "This will rocket the value of the mag if only we can keep it up."

"I'll work on a draft agreement with Charles Trump this evening and we should be ready to discuss it sometime tomorrow afternoon."

"We assume ownership and as soon as the second issue is put to bed?"

"Yes," Jenni sighed. "Include the salary increases we discussed for my staff and the reason for this is because they'll be working on Zephyr's flagship magazine and give me a secondary title of director of magazine publishing."

"What over everything we publish?"

"No David, just control over all genuine magazines."

"But our existing editors will revolt."

"Then we'll have a clean out. You give them the news and then leave it to me to clean up the fallout. Tell them you believe all magazine teams need a shake-up and you've instructed me to do that."

"Jesus Jennie. Ron?"

"She always knows what she's doing boss and heads things in the right direction. I recommend you give her free rein."

"Okay and Jenni you heard Ron."

"Then it's all agreed?"

"Yes Jenni. By the way thanks for making the negotiations so easy. We both have got what we wanted, which is always a good result." other

"Right," David added, "It's still a good hour before lunch is served. Why don't we change our gear and get into the pool for a game of volley ball. Ron and me against you two?"

Everyone agreed, which made David happy. He appeared ready to dunk big mouth Snowy and hold him under for as long as he could without drowning him.

But when Snowy came out displaying with a significantly muscled torso from hours in the gym where he preferred to do his real thinking, David dunked Jenni instead and received a nail racking down his chest that drew blood.

After the two Zephyr men left for the flight back to London, Jenni and Snowy who'd declined the offer to accompany them, sat back and enjoyed the tranquillity.

As Snowy was on the wagon permanently, Jenni had finished her last glass of wine just after lunch.

She was sad and ecstatic - sad that she'd been leaving the present location and Nico to go back to the sprawling Zephyr empire in south London. That location, she thought, was all right for the printing plant but wondered if the management, business and editorial operations would be better located where her team were located now. Perhaps Zephyr could buy Nico out and make him property manager?

She'd tell Nico to wait patiently until she settled in at Zephyr because there was a good chance he would soon be made an offer he couldn't refuse. Yes, a good idea. Let the corporate company take on a project that had become a little too difficult for her to manage comfortably.

Mrs Hopper arrived back with her daughter, now dressed in a non-descript cotton dress that looked almost too large for her, to clear away the meal.

Mrs Hopper had a little chat that intrigued Jenni. First she thanked Jenni for 'helping to get her husband's clock ticking again' and then she apologised for the physical display by her daughter. Maria, said her mother, although married with two small children, had provided more than catering services for young Mr Brooks for many years, and that arrangement had carried on after her marriage.

She always dressed to please Mr Brooks, even when he was with company.

"Off you go, I'll come back and lock up later this afternoon," she said. "By the way," she whispered to Jenni, "don't think of Maria as being a bad girl - she's no worse than our Lord Barcote. He had a piece of her some years back."

Jenni pulled a £50 note from her purse, and inclined her head at Snowy, who also dug into his wallet for a similar tip.

"Thank you, thank you," said Mrs Hopper. "I'll be able to buy some nice undies to help keep Mr Hopper's clock ticking. I can't get into those garments from Paris in the wardrobe in Mr Brook senior's bedroom suite."

Jenni and Snowy took the scheduled last helicopter flight back to London, satisfied with the time they'd had together and with Jenni's achievement.