My Wife My Partner Ch. 01-04

I heard Tammy talking on the phone again.

"I don't know Jean . . . Yes . . . He danced with two men . . . I know you warned me . . . We'll have to talk about it . . . I don't know . . . Yes, Mark was really nice . . . Yes . . . I want to see him again . . . No . . . I'm waiting for Jenny . . . I don't know about the hormones . . . Yes . . . She knows . . . She's a little concerned about Mark . . . I know . . . It'll take time . . . Not now . . . Not that fast . . . Jean . . . Listen . . . We'll at the office on Monday . . . Bye."

I walked into the kitchen to pour another cup of coffee. I couldn't believe that my wife was referring to me as a "She."

My hands were shaking as I thought about things Tammy said. She mentioned the hormones, and wanting to see Mark again . . . What was I going to do? What if I just put an end to this right now and told Tammy I wanted to stop dressing and didn't want her to see Mark again?

Could I really do that? ....Could I stop dressing or was it in my blood too much to stop . . . I couldn't answer that right now but I didn't want her to see Mark again? How could I have my cake and eat it too?

Tammy and I went out for our late breakfast. It turned out to be lunch by the time we got there but we didn't mind. I wanted to ask Tammy a few questions but waited until we were through eating.

"Tammy. I heard you on the phone before we left the house this morning. Was it Mark?"

"That was Jean who called me. She wanted to know how our date with Mark went last night and I told her."

"Did you tell her anything about me?"

"Honey. I told her everything that went on last night and how you danced with a couple of guys. I also told her how you felt about dancing with a man knowing that I saw you."

Tammy was still stuck on the fact that she thought I wanted to be with men and I had to make her understand differently.

"Tammy. What makes you think I want to be with a man rather than you?"

"Honey. Jean is an expert on these things and had done research for me. She said that a few percentage of married men like to cross-dress and a good number of those men are either gay or bisexual. You're going to have to figure that one out for yourself."

"But . . . Tammy . . . I'm not interested in men . . . Can you understand/"

"Jenny . . . Listen to me . . . You had a nice time last night and I want you to admit it . . . You may have been a little jealous seeing Mark sitting next to me last night but deep down in your heart, you were having the time of your life dressed the way you were and having men think you were so pretty . . . Admit it just once."

I didn't know how to answer Tammy, I did get my thrills being dressed last night and I was getting a few looks from the guys.

"Look Tammy . . . Yes I got excited but I'm just not interested in seeing men . . . I love to dress-up and pretend with you."

"Jenny . . . You can't pretend anything if your gay . . . You have to search in your mind and figure it out . . . What makes you happy . . . "

I wasn't getting anywhere with Tammy. She wouldn't listen to any reason. It seemed as if Jean had my wife convinced that I was Gay or at least bisexual.

We left the restaurant and walked through town and I realized we were holding hands and getting stares from many people. If they only knew, I was a guy and not a woman. I really wanted to tell a few of them to get lost, but Tammy told me to ignore them.

Tammy pulled me in between two stores and kissed me. It was so funny having our lipstick smeared on each other that we laughed. I was so happy at that very moment I wanted it to last forever.

I wanted to ask Tammy about Mark. I didn't want to ruin the moment but I had to ask her how she felt. "Tammy. I want you to tell me how you feel about Mark. Are you interested in seeing him again?"

Tammy put her arms around my waist as she starred into my eyes. I knew she was going to say something serous, we had been married too long and I knew her very well.

"Jenny. Mark is a nice guy and he likes me . . . Don't forget the fact that he thinks I'm single too . . . He asked to see me again and I told him I'd think about it . . . I wouldn't have given it a second thought two days ago but I saw you dancing with those men at the club and you looked happy . . . Well, it made me feel left out . . . "

I couldn't understand what Tammy meant. There was no reason why she should feel left out. I loved her. I was also feeling angry inside again. Maybe the hormones I was taking were making me feel this way.

"What are you saying to me? You want to see him again, don't you? You want to go out with Mark again, don't you? That's just fine Tammy. You go out with him. I don't care. Is it because he is so huge? More muscular? What is it?"

"Jenny . . . That's enough . . . I don't need a lecture out here in public . . . Lets go home where we can talk."

We drove back home in silence, Tammy was angry at me because I wanted to know the truth about how she felt about this guy Mark. We got into the house and I began questioning her instantly.

"Tammy . . . I need to know what your going to do . . . "

"Honey . . . Why bring this up now? ....I don't think I need to decide this minute what I'm going to do . . . Why are you being so persistent with me? ..."

"Because you told me it made you feel left out and I don't understand."

Tammy began to cry. She was sniffling and holding her hands over her eyes."

I just stood waiting for a reply from her.

"How do you think I feel having a husband who loves to dress like a woman and runs around and dances with other men?"

"Tammy. If I recall . . . You are the person that was so anxious to have me dress like this and you encouraged me to dance with that man at the club. Why should you be so upset with me?"

"I just don't know right now . . . Please . . . I don't want to argue about it. Why can't we talk?"

Tammy wasn't interested in talking. I went into the bedroom and changed my clothes. I washed as much of the makeup off my face as I could and lay on the bed and fell asleep reading a book.

I woke up that evening and it was all ready dark. I had slept almost all afternoon. I looked to my side and saw Tammy laying next to me. She opened her eyes and we kissed.

She put her arm around me saying, "Honey. I love you very much and don't want to argue any more."

I kissed her again as I looked into her eyes. I was very happy with Tammy with me but I know it wasn't the end of our problems.

The next morning was Sunday and Tammy woke up first and gave me a hug and told me how sorry she was and didn't mean to hurt me. She also told me she wanted me to continue dressing, she wouldn't mind or through it in my face any more.

It was strange because I dreamed last night that Tammy was trying to tell me something. She was trying to tell me she had a fantasy of her own and I lay in bed trying to figure out what it might be.

She had been so accommodating to my cross dressing and I was so eager to comply that I completely over looked what she was trying to tell me. Tammy was at least in a way that she wouldn't hurt my feelings.

My hunch was that Tammy had a fantasy to make love with a black man! If I'm wrong and bring it up, it could mean the end of our marriage but what if I'm right?

Tammy gave me everything she thought I wanted, a wife that accepted my cross dressing, taking me out in public to pass, even mingling with real men to see how I would react with them. She could have brought the hormones home and found a way to show them to me without hurting my feelings. Oh man! She allowed me to make a decision.

I wondered if she was counting the hormone pills?

I had to find a way for Tammy to arrange a date with Mark. It had to be a way that she wouldn't feel as if she were committing adultery.

It was Sunday and Tammy had a house showing that afternoon and I offered to go with her since the couple were just relocating into town. We both felt comfortable about having me dress as Tammy's associate partner.

We both choose white blouses and grey pants and matching jackets. I slipped on a pair of black heels and we shared the bathroom mirror applying our makeup together. Tammy laughed and joked that we should have our picture taken in these suites for new business cards.

We could present ourselves as "sisters in real estate."

We drove out on the other side of town to meet the couple at the house. I decided I would make the first move about Mark.

"Tammy. I just wanted to mention that I had a nice time after all, Friday night and wanted to say that Mark was a really nice guy."

Tammy looked surprised that I had brought up Friday night again.

"Uh . . . Yeah . . . He is very nice. I thought you would like him."

"Tammy....I'm really sorry I got so upset with you about the date, I know you wanted me to be happy and I'm. I want you to be happy as well. I love you very much!"

She was driving but I was able to hold her right hand as she smiled and gave it a gentle squeeze. We were getting close to the house we were showing so I only had a couple minutes to present my next offer.

"Honey . . . I was thinking . . . I wouldn't see what would be so wrong with inviting Mark to the house for dinner one night?"

I was watching Tammy's reaction and she looked surprised but her facial reaction was telling me that this is what she was waiting to hear from me.

"Well . . . Yeah . . . That might be a good idea . . . I'm just a little taken by your offer of having Mark come to our house for dinner."

"I think it's a wonderful idea, and I'll do all the cooking and that will give you a chance to get better acquainted with him."

Tammy choked up when I mentioned the last sentence. Maybe I shouldn't have said it but it was out. Now I had to fix it.

"Tammy. It'll be really nice having Mark at the house. It's a great way for us to show our appreciation for his business."

I laughed. "Think of the huge bonus you are going to get at the closing."

We arrived at the house and showed the house and with both of us working as a team, we were able to sign the couple to an agreement for an offer.

We were driving toward the office so excited about calling in the offer that we both had forgotten that I was dressed in drag. We pulled into the driveway and because it was Sunday, there was only one agent on duty.

Tammy turned and looked toward me a little upset as she parked the car.

"That's Jean's new car."

Tammy could see the expression on my face that I wasn't too thrilled.

"Its ok, lets go in and present this offer."

Tammy walked into the office ahead of me and Jean greeted her by hugging Tammy.

"Tammy, I didn't expect to see you in here today, how is everything going at home? ....You know . . . With Jerry? .... Is he still mad at you?"

"Um.....Why don't you ask Jerry yourself."

Tammy turned back toward me and Jean was stunned and stood there with her mouth open starring at me in the woman's business suite.

"Oh my God . . . Jerry . . . Is that you? .......Oh my . . . Look at you . . . Oh . . . Tammy . . . Look how good he looks . . . "

Jean walked around me starring at my clothes checking me out from my head to my heels as she walked a circle around me.

"Jerry . . . I meant Jenny . . . Is that what I should call you? .....Your looking hot! ....I knew this would work out . . . "

Jean winked at me and I tried to smile back at her. I had mixed feelings about this woman. I walked over to Tammy's office, the one I shared with her before I started working from home. Jean was right behind me watching the way I walked in my heels.

"You know Jenny....I don't see why you don't come into the office and work like this, everyone here know's about you and we're all here to support you."

That's just what I wanted too here. The other agents are aware that I'm a cross dresser, a freak to them.

I didn't reply to Jean, Tammy was busy on the phone trying to contact the sellers when Jean pulled on my arm and motioned for me to follow her out of Tammy's office.

"Have you started taking the hormones yet?"

I turned my head to look in her eyes, finally shaking my head up and down.

"Good . . . I'll talk to Gary at the pharmacy and make sure you have a supply coming . . . You're going to see some changes occur soon! .....Have you told Tammy yet?"

I shook my head, "No."

Tammy walked out of her office to use the fax machine, while another phone rang and Jean padded me on the shoulder before hurrying over to answer it.

I felt relieved that I wasn't going to have to answer any more of Jean's questions. I assumed she was going to ask me about going out to the club and dancing with other guys next.

Tammy finished faxing the documents over and was ready to leave. We both waved at Jean who was still on the phone when we walked out the door.

We arrived home and changed our clothes, Tammy hugged me once we got naked and kissed me on the lips.

"Maybe I should call Mark and see if he would be interested in dinner?"

"Sure. Why don't we go swimming after you call him?"

Tammy smiled at me as she retrieved her cell phone from her purse. She started to dial his phone number while I got my new bikini out of the drawer.

She was waiting for an answer and I motioned to her that I was going into the bathroom to put it on.

I slipped on the bottom half of th suit and began to put the top half on. I noticed my nipples felt sensitive and slightly puffy. I thought about the effects of the hormones and it scared me.

I remembered what Jean had just told me, about how I was going to see some changes and she was right about that.

I could hear Tammy talking in the other room to Mark as I slipped the shoulder straps around my shoulders. Jenny walked in the bathroom and put her arm around my waist. She was still holding the cell phone to her ear.

"Jenny. How is next Saturday? Would that be all right?"

I leaned over and kissed her on the lips.

"Honey. It's your date, whatever you two agree on would be fine with me."

Tammy smiled at me and started to walk out of the bathroom.

"OK Mark . . . Saturday will be fine . . . Yes . . . I can't wait either . . . Me to . . . Give me a call this week . . . Yes . . . Just call me . . . OK . . . Bye . . . "

I hoped I was doing the right thing. Mark was coming over to our house for a date with my wife. I can't believe it's gone this far . . . What I'm I doing? ...Was this sick or insane? .....What was going to happen between Mark and my wife? .....Would he eat dinner and leave? ....Maybe stick around for a little chat and a kiss or two?

What if Mark wanted to take Tammy somewhere else? ....Maybe back to his place? .....I'd have to put a stop on it! ....Yes . . . I'd have to make the atmosphere so appealing that they would remain here so I could keep an eye on them.

I would have a whole week to prepare . . . Candles . . . Wine . . . Good food . . . Yes . . . I could do it . . . Let her have her fun . . . Just don't let things get out of hand . . .

Tammy joined me in the pool. She looked absolutely gorgeous with her flowing red hair and green eyes. The black bikini was such a lovely contrast to her pale white skin.

Tammy's bikini made me think about Mark for a moment, his dark skin against my wife's. What was the attraction for her? My first thought was that he was so much larger than I, his masculine broad shoulders, his huge arms, what about down there?

I always wondered myself about the old myth. Black men are hung! ....Would Mark be hung like a horse? .....Could this be the attraction for Tammy? ....Why I'm I thinking about this? .....It's not going to happen, or is it? .....It's only a dinner date . . . Right? ....

We played in the pool, splashing and chasing each other. Tammy seemed so happy and content, this afternoon and so was I. I wanted it to last forever.

Chapter 3

Tammy got a phone call about the offer she had presented and they accepted it without a counter offer and got so excited she was jumping in the living room as she held onto me. She had to leave early to get things going on the deal and kissed me on her way out the door.

About an hour after she left, I got a phone call and of all the people in the world who would call, it was Jean.

"Hi Jenny. I just called to tell you that Tammy is getting that deal finalized and she is so excited. Congratulations, your little wife is a hard worker!"

I knew Jean called for another reason. It wasn't like her to be so friendly about a simple real estate deal.

"Jenny. Did you take your hormones' yet today?"

"Uh . . . Yeah . . . Just a single dose right now . . . "

"Oh . . . That's so good because I talked to my friend down at the pharmacy and he is going to arrange to give me three more months supply. I'll get them over to you as soon as I get the time." Why was Jean being so pleasant and accommodating toward me all of a sudden?

"Oh . . . I spoke to a good friend of mine that does electrolysis and only lives about a block from your house. He said if you were interested, he could give you a good deal on treatments."

I took the phone number and name of the guy that Jean gave me and thanked her, but she wasn't finished yet.

"Jenny . . . I think it's so wonderful of you to allow Tammy to see other men . . . I'm so glad that you are able to be open about your situation with her . . . Mark is a wonderful man and will treat her like she is a little princess . . . Oh . . . I'm so glad that you're not prejudiced about Tammy seeing a black man, he is such a hunk! .....Don't you think so as well?"

"Ah . . . Yeah . . . He is . . . "

"I have to go, remember to call about the electrolysis. I'll talk to you soon."

I hung up the phone. What Jean had just said about my situation and allowing Tammy to see other men . . . What did this all mean? ......Maybe it was more than just a fantasy for Tammy . . . I must have this all wrong again . . . My God . . . What I'm I going to do?

My wife is interested in seeing other men . . . Because of me? .....What should I do? .....If I stopped now, Tammy wouldn't believe I was finished as a cross dresser. She'd problebly find a way to divorce me . . . A reason! ......I had to continue . . .

Jean . . . It had to be Jean . . . Tammy was being coached by Jean . . . Maybe hours of brainwashing . . . That's it . . . Not my fault . . . I'm a cross dresser . . . I'm not gay . . . Why did I agree with Jean about Mark? ....Yeah . . . He was built! .....Handsome . . . If I were a woman, he would excite me! .....

God . . . What was I thinking just now?

I hurried and completed my daily routine of housework. I thought about the phone number that Jean gave me. It would be nice not having to shave my face. I couldn't grow a beard if I tried! The best I could ever do was a little fuze on my face.

I dialed the number and a man answered and I introduced myself.

"Oh . . . Yes . . . Jenny . . . I was expecting your call . . . How wonderful . . . It's so exciting to help somebody new in the process of change! ......Jenny . . . Darling . . . Why don't you come in tomorrow morning . . . Say . . . Maybe ten. ish? ..........Well get you started and I'll be able to explain my procedure and give you an estimate on how many hours we will need."

"Ah . . . OK . . . Ten would be fine and I'll see you tomorrow . . . "

It couldn't hurt . . . If I wanted to continue cross dressing, removing unwanted facial hair would be a dream. I wouldn't have to shave anymore! ....Tammy wouldn't mind . . . She knew I couldn't grow much any how . . .

Tammy was exhausted when she got home that night, she had shown houses all day and had a closing late in the afternoon.

I didn't mention anything about my appointment in the morning. We ate dinner and relaxed out next to the pool and watched the sun set.