N Is For Natalie

"I feel the same", she finally said in a small voice.

My heart leapt - this was wonderful! I hugged her, but she pushed me away, this time the tears flooded and ran down her face. This was not good.

"Please Natalie, what's the matter?" I pleaded, gently. "I've just had the most wonderful three months of my life - you are gorgeous. I know I don't really know you yet but what could possibly be so bad that it would make me change my mind about you?"

Natalie didn't answer, but sat motionless for another minute or so. Then she breathed in deeply, she'd clearly come to some sort of decision.

"This!" she suddenly said, quite forcefully, standing up.

She stood in front of me, a few feet away. In one swift movement, she slid off her dress with one hand and pulled down her thong with the other. Her penis sprang forward. Not as large as mine, but definitely a cock, and definitely very erect.

"There" she said. "I'm pretty sure that changes your mind, doesn't it?"

She stood there for as long as it took to say the words, then flopped back down on the sofa, crying her eyes out. My mind was reeling, I must admit that this possibility had simply not occurred to me - Natalie was a man.

The thing was, this revelation - well - it surprised me, but it didn't disgust me, or frighten me or repel me. Natalie was Natalie, what she had between her legs didn't change that. In fact I felt... relief. Obviously that was why Natalie had been so reluctant to go to bed with me, or even let my hand wander up her skirt - she was afraid that when I found out I would reject her. Well, there was no question of that, in no way was I going to upset such a wonderful woman. And in every respect except that one, she really was a gorgeous woman.

"Oh Natalie..." I said, and pulled her into my arms. I kissed her wet cheeks tenderly, stroking her hair, rocking her in my arms. "Natalie... I understand why... I understand. Please darling, look at me".

She did, and I kissed her swollen lips, tenderly at first, but then more ardently as if to prove that I couldn't care less. And the funny thing was - I couldn't. Eventually, Natalie spoke, quietly and nervously.

"You still want me? You still ... want... me?" she whispered, lost for words.

"Yes darling. I can't say it changes nothing but it doesn't change how I feel about you. I'm intrigued, and interested, surprised for sure, but it doesn't make me love you less. How could it - it's just a cock. You're still a woman. My girlfriend. A gorgeous, witty, fascinating, teasing woman".

I smiled, and for the first time since we got back to the flat, Natalie did too, widely and oh-so gorgeously. Her face came alive, shining through her tears. I kissed her again.

"We'll work something out," I said.

"Ben. I need to explain. All my life I knew I should be a girl. I always used to say that's what I wanted to be when I grew up. My parents gave up trying to make me be a boy when I was about eight. I think they realised it was never going to work. When I was twelve I started to see a therapist, and she confirmed what I already knew - genetically I was mostly female. I always expected to have SRS eventually, but by the time I was about 16 I decided I didn't want that after all. I did have the implants though, I so needed to have full breasts. I'm proud to be who I am now, but... of course, sex has always been a problem - relationships have always been a problem. I could never come clean to the boys I went out with. I would always break it off before it came to that. I never knew how to handle it. With you though, Ben, things have been ... different. I knew I had to really face up to it this time."

She stopped. She'd been going on, explaining, rambling on for almost five minutes. She stopped. I held her tightly in my arms, Natalie knew that I wasn't going to reject her then. Her grin was joy itself when she fully realised.

"Can I ring my mum, she'll be a bit worried? You know."

"Are you going to - stay?"

"Yes."

As she sat there with her phone in her hand I looked, and I pondered. The sight of her, sitting there in bra and thong and stockings and high heels, was most definitely one of the most erotic sights I'd ever seen in my life. Images flashed into my mind and I realised to some extent why I hadn't rejected her. Why I was accepting the situation

The first was a recollection of someone in a bar, many years earlier, when I'd been a student. My mates were making fun of the figure in the corner, the 'girl' with long hair and a rather bulging top. One of the lads had said it was a man, a tranny, and they were having a joke at his expense. Or hers maybe. I'd been sorry for her, I hadn't seen so clearly but I think it had been a TV, just out for a drink on her own. If that was what she wanted, why not ...

The second was a picture of a she-male I'd seen on the Internet, by accident, honestly. Naked, lying there holding her breast and proudly showing off to the camera a long straight penis. It wasn't the cock itself which had stirred me, it had been the combination, breasts and penis, and the look of pride and satisfaction on his - or her - face. Again, if he or she was happy like that ...

That was why I didn't spurn the lovely T-girl, whether TV or TG or TS or whatever I had met and courted. The genitalia didn't matter, it was the person. And, to be honest, the unusual nature of this woman fascinated me. I wouldn't say that I specially like trannies, but I most definitely liked this one. She switched her phone off and put it down and turned towards me.

"So have you ever been with a man?" I asked.

"No, not with a woman either. I'm a virgin."

For some reason we both laughed.

"Natalie, darling, maybe it's too soon for you. But if you wanted to, we could, you know, well, you could tell me about it."

I trailed off. She looked me straight in the eyes.

"There's time to explain later. Right now I'd rather make love, Ben."

I loved those words. OK so the context was different but the sentiment was still there. I needed to make love to Natalie, for her and for me. I kissed her deeply and stroked her creamy smooth thighs. The thought of what awaited my fingertips just inches away was making me breathless with anticipation and erotic lust. My own cock was rock hard, and Natalie was caressing it with her gorgeous, feminine fingers once more. For a while, neither of us dared to go further, I think we were both enjoying the moment of anticipation, savouring our last few moments of innocence. Then Natalie made the first move.

"Ooh, what have we here?" Natalie asked, pulling my pants down and allowing my cock to spring forward, throbbing.

I hadn't felt so hard for such a long time. Natalie bent and took my member in her tender mouth, sucking gently, stroking with her fingertips. My god it felt good! I almost came in a jerk as I felt her tongue caress my balls, but I managed to hold back. After a few minutes of this wonderful treatment, I could take no more without coming but despite my desperation to ejaculate, I gently pulled her up and kissed her deeply once again, tasting myself on her soft lips.

"So let's see what this thong is hiding," I said, "and this time let's have a proper look".

Natalie giggled.

"OK." she said.

I could already see something of a bulge in the front of her thong. As we kissed, I pulled it down and hooked my fingers behind her soft smooth balls. Her cock was very hard, and now quite a bit larger than when I had first seen it, the head fully exposed and weeping clear juice. Somehow it looked very feminine - much smaller than my own eight inches, I guessed maybe four or five

I looked up, her expression was apprehensive.

"That is so beautiful, Natalie" I said, and I meant it.

I took her smooth member in my hand, and still kissing her, I started to slowly masturbate her, drawing the foreskin back and forth over her glistening head. Her cock jerked involuntarily and a large globule of clear fluid bulged out, dribbling onto her flat stomach, trailing a thin string of sticky fluid. Natalie moaned, whispering my name as we kissed, as I continued to slowly wank her cock.

In turn, Natalie took my own cock in her hand, and started to follow my movements, until we were jerking each other off, breathing hard and fast. I felt Natalie was close to a climax, and bent to take her penis in my mouth. It tasted a little bit salty, but far from unpleasant. I could feel the ridges on my tongue, at once a unique new sensation yet a very pleasant sensation. I continued to jerk her shaft, wanting her to spurt into my mouth. I felt her tense, then go rigid, arching her back, moaning loudly. I felt the hot spurting come before I tasted it, and there seemed to be a lot of it.

"Oh Yes Ben. YES!!" she shouted, loudly and very happily.

The splashes of her cum hit the back of my throat, I savoured the slippery fluid between my tongue and the roof of my mouth. I was so focused on these new sensations that I hardly noticed that Natalie was still yelling with delight as I slowly continued to wank her cock into my mouth, licking off the last drops, very gently, I knew all too well how it felt to be too rough just after the moment of coming. Natalie's body flopped back, limp.

"Phew!" she cried, breathing hard in short sharp bursts.

Her hand was still gripping my own cock, but in the heat of the moment she'd stopped moving it. Swallowing her cum, I was suddenly aware of the strange situation I found myself in. Here was Natalie, my own beautiful long blonde Natalie, the Natalie I had dreamed and fantasised about for several months, half naked on my sofa. Her small delicate hands were wrapped firmly around my cock and she'd just come, hard, right in my mouth! From her own rock-hard, female cock!!

The full erotic reality of the scene hit my brain, and my balls responded. In a second, I felt the rising juices, unstoppable, and I just climaxed in a huge, mad rush, right then. My cum jetted out, flying across and landing square on Natalie's breasts, followed by more spurts that landed shorter, on her exposed stomach, and on her slowly wilting cock. I moaned in ecstasy, and the final dribbles oozed out and ran down across Natalie's pretty little fingers.

We kissed, again and again, revelling in the love we'd found. For the first time in her life, I think, Natalie was experiencing real physical love with another person, and for the first time in mine, I felt it really meant something.

"Darling?" Natalie started.

"Yes, lover?"

"Shall we go to bed and really make love?"

I hesitated. I wondered what she really meant - I wasn't sure what she had in mind. I must have looked a bit doubtful, but before I could say anything, she smiled, took my hand and pulled me up off the sofa, dragging me towards the bedroom.

"Don't worry," she said, "we'll work something out."

She half winked, echoing my own words. We were in each other's arms by the time we pushed open the bedroom door, kissing and laughing. I fumbled for the light-switch, but Natalie held my arm.

"Not yet" she whispered.

We kissed passionately in the darkness, a chink of light from the hallway illuminating Natalie's face just enough that I had to gasp at her radiant beauty. Her perfume was still evident, still entrancing. Slowly we undressed. She pressed her warm full body against mine, and I savoured the feeling of the two of us sharing that space intimately. I was aware of the extra piece of flesh that pressed warmly against my groin - how could I not be - and I started to feel myself get hard again.

The effect was mutual - as I grew harder so did she. We both realised and giggled a little, but we resumed our intimate caress, kissing and kissing more. As I fondled her firm full breasts, her nipples became erect once more at my touch, and I bent to suckle them gently. Natalie moaned softly as I did so, arching her back and pushing her pelvis towards me, her hard rod jutting out, catching the light.

Pulling me towards the bed, Natalie was fumbling around for something in her bag which she'd dropped on the floor. She pulled me onto the bed, and we rolled around for a few minutes, giggling in the semi-darkness. It was strange to feel her body next to mine - so familiar, the soft feminine curves, yet pleasantly strange. Every time her cock pushed into my thigh, or against my own cock, it was a surprise, renewing with each glancing touch the erotic strangeness of the night. I felt her hands on my cock at last - they felt oddly wet, and after a second I realised she was rubbing some sort of oil or cream into it. There was a very mild burning sensation to the cream, which made me all the harder, and I heard some further squelching that I couldn't quite place, then Natalie threw her bag back on the floor and resumed our lovemaking.

"Come on darling, it's time" she whispered, and pulled me on top of her.

Instinctively, I went through the motions of easing my weight down, feeling her thighs parting, her legs lifting and widening, as I hadn't felt with any other girl for a long time. This time I felt a little puzzled, but needn't have worried. Natalie's hand guided my cock smoothly below her hairless tight balls. I felt her cock push against my pubic bone and felt the heat on my own erect penis as I entered her. It felt like any woman's well-wetted vagina, tight yet yielding, hot, slippery yet gripping just the right amount. I pushed very slowly, afraid to hurt her, but her hand guided me in more forcibly, yet she never made a sound. I felt her smile as her lips brushed mine, my lips on her teeth.

"Welcome, Ben" she whispered, and after a further minute savouring the sensation "Now fuck me good, my lover?"

I started to move my hips rhythmically, I needed no further encouragement. I could feel Natalie's hard cock pressed into my belly, and her hand slip down and begin to masturbate, as I slowly fucked her beautiful arse. I can truly say it was the best lovemaking I ever had - and it was love, no doubt about it. We simply fucked like that, face to face, kissing, caressing, until finally I could hold on no longer and had to cum. Natalie sensed the time was right, and we began to slowly reach a simultaneous climax until at the final moment, all motion stopped and I felt myself pumping hard into her bum as a hot sticky sensation flooded between our two bellies. We both sighed and relaxed as the waves of orgasm passed, we rested in that position, we kissed.

"Oh darling" Natalie whispered, her voice a little hoarse, "That was just so wonderful."

I think she was starting to cry, "I'm not a virgin anymore. Thank you lover, thank you!"

I said nothing, a little overwhelmed myself. If I'd said a word, we'd have both been in tears. I simply gazed at her with love, my eyes accustomed to the darkness now, revealing her golden glow in the dim light. Her firm tits were heaving as her breathing gradually quieted.

"I love you Natalie," I finally said, feeling my cock slip out at that moment.

"I love you too, Ben," she said, smiling. We cuddled, and slept.

As morning broke through and the sun flood the room with light, I woke first and smiled as I felt Natalie's warm body beside me and the events of the night before. I gazed at her sleeping features - her hair shining in the morning light and spilling over the pillow, her lovely lips seemed to be almost smiling. Her closed eyes showed her long lashes. Some traces of eye makeup remained, the rest washed away by her tears of the previous evening. My eyes followed the smooth contours of her throat and shoulders, perfectly formed. I was still having a little trouble reconciling the knowledge that Natalie was - or had been - a man with the vision of feminine loveliness in front of me.

My thoughts wandered - did this mean I was perhaps gay? The thought didn't bother me, but didn't strike me as right either, yet the revelation of Natalie's secret had excited me, I recalled. Oh well, whatever. Natalie stirred, breaking my train of thought, and turned over, flicking her hair back as she turned, still asleep. I spooned up behind her, my arm resting across her breasts, my cock hard, pressed between the soft round globes of her buttocks. Natalie murmured, but didn't rouse.

My hand strayed lower, and I felt her own erect cock and though I knew what to expect, it still felt excitingly different, sending a little shock of pleasure through me. I stroked it gently, feeling its smoothness. Her balls felt warm and slack, and moved gently of their own accord as I caressed them. I fell back asleep for a while, waking again as I felt Natalie stirring, pushing back against me and murmuring pleasure. My hand was still holding her penis loosely, still hard.

"Mmmm, that's nice sweetheart" she said sleepily, rocking back and forth against me.

After a few minutes she woke fully, and swung herself into a sitting position on the edge of the bed.

"Where are you going?" I asked. "Just need to go to the loo, be right back".

I watched her as she walked out of the door, admiring her firm apple-shaped bum and lovely legs. She didn't even have narrow hips, I reflected - just the perfect womanly figure, and not too skinny. I could hear Natalie peeing, loud and long. She came back into the room, and I watched her cock, now limp, swinging with each step, her balls firmly pouched up - it was cold in the flat. Smiling at me, she climbed back into bed, cuddling up. We kissed.

Over breakfast, Natalie filled me in on her history, on her self-doubt as a young teenager and then her discovery that there were others like her. Her parents came to accept her for who she was and themselves researched the transgender issues involved. She told me that she had been dying to discuss them with me these past few weeks. A few remarks that had made little sense at the time suddenly fell into place too - I think she had been trying to drop the occasional hint, unsuccessfully.

She paused. "You know, it's so great to finally be on the level with you. I feel so relieved, and you are a wonderful man. Thanks for not rejecting me".

"Was that really your first time? You seemed so assured somehow."

"Yes it was my first time" she smiled. "I've never been into any sort of 'scene'. I know there are clubs and bars for people like me, but they never attracted me for some reason. I often thought about going there just to find - well - anybody really, but never did pluck up the courage. I always wanted to be normal, if that doesn't sound bizarre."

I felt I understood - Natalie was really the most lovely, natural, intelligent and witty girl I'd ever met - somehow the idea of her picking up strangers in a bar didn't fit with my picture of her.

"The funny thing is I've never had sex before but I missed it. When I met you I so wanted to do it with you, I thought I would finally have to face the truth. I tried to say something, I even thought I should dump you if you know what I mean. But anyway, Ben. Thanks."

"Natalie my darling, it's OK - there's no way I'd let you go now, you're special. I love you, and who you are."

Epilogue

Later that morning I escorted Natalie back home. Dad was in the shop. As soon as my car drew up outside Mum was there too. Despite Natalie's call to them they had clearly been a bit concerned, but the look on her face and the enthusiasm with which I was holding her hand firmly spoke volumes, as did the ecstatic look on her face. I didn't wait for them to speak.

"You should be very proud of your daughter, she's a lovely young woman."

Natalie squeezed my hand and her mother rushed over to hug me. She was almost in tears, her Dad was close to it too. He shook my hand.

Within half an hour, as Natalie joined her Mum in the shop and Dad and I sat in the back room sharing a couple of bottles of beer, we had it all sorted. Basically I rewrote all our lives.