NSFW Ch. 02: Not Suffering from Waiting?!

Jay laughed, "I am definitely a plebeian, but I don't think the higher echelon of snobby coffee drinkers will allow you into their circle with all the cream and sugar you use. So much for complex flavor."

"Touche," she said as she smiled lightly and walked away from him toward the counter. She hated how easily he was able to placate her, and as mad as she wanted to remain, she knew it was a lost cause.

She ordered her drink, a medium americano, and took it at the bar when it was ready. As her fiance had foretold, she added an abundant amount of cream and sugar to it before carrying it back to the table.

"Okay, I've got my blasphemous coffee and I'm all ready to start talking," she said as she settled into the seat adjacent to him.

"I didn't know this was another official forum. What are we talking about?" Jay cocked his head and gave her a curious smile.

"Sex. Dirty, raunchy, nasty sex," Skylar sighed and crossed her arms with a wry grin as she tried to hold back a blush.

Jay laughed, "See, that's the problem, right there. You think sex is some gross, terrible thing that's dirty and wrong. You've villainized it in your mind and now we can't even talk about it casually," he chuckled as he held his cup.

"I haven't villainized it, I've just distanced myself from it," she replied as she pursed her lips.

Jay sighed, "Okay, not seeing much of a difference there, but let's just try and start from square one. At base, sex is a necessary thing, I mean, humans wouldn't exist without it. Like everything, it can be abused and turned into something wrong, but on its own it's a healthy, natural, and in my opinion, necessary thing."

"You said necessary twice," she smirked.

"Are you gonna be a smart ass the whole time?" He returned her smirk.

"If it's to help with my embarrassment, yes."

"Why are you so embarrassed?"

"I just am. Look, we're not all experts like you, Jay, some of us had very sheltered upbringings. Can you just ease me into this, please?"

Jay shook his head and took a sip of his drink, "We're just talking, I'm not going to force you to do anything you don't want to, Sky. Anyway, you brought it up."

"Yeah, I know, I just don't know where to start," she frowned and covered her face, "Geez, I wish I could turn my face off."

"Your permanent blushing is super cute, though."

She looked at him through an opening in her fingers, "So glad I can entertain you."

Jay laughed once more, "Alright, let's do it this way: you can ask questions like yesterday and I'll give you some answers. Hell, it's not like I'm an expert, either."

"You've gotta be compared to me," Skylar leaned forward and tried her coffee.

"You only assume that because you never wanted to talk about it before."

Skylar binked, "Weren't you with that one girl for like a year?"

"Gabby Trielo? Yes, but we never had sex, not really," Jay chuckled as he remembered. "The one time it almost happened, she was drunk and she made me put a condom on. We started making out and things got heavy and then... I don't know, she just passed out. It was so sad and funny at the time that I could only laugh."

Skylar looked up at him sheepishly, "So... I'd be your first?"

Jay smiled, "Yup."

Skylar wasn't sure if she was jubilated or terrified from the new information, and she tried to keep her voice steady, "Oh."

"Yeah, oh," Jay smiled gently. "So, we're both going to suck at it, at least that takes some pressure off of you, right?"

Her blush deepened, "Yeah, I guess." She cleared her throat and ventured another question cautiously, "So, um... do you ever get turned on when you draw...kinky stuff?"

"Kinky stuff?" Jay snorted, "Sometimes. Most of the time, I'm so concentrated on getting things just right that I forget that I'm drawing a naked chick. Those curves aren't easy to get right, especially if people are asking for ridiculously voluptuous women."

Skylar nodded, obviously intrigued, "Have you ever drawn me... you know...," she emphasized her words by biting her lip.

"No, not ever," Jay assured her. "It's going to get all kinds of creepy if I started doing that with people I knew. Besides, I've never seen you naked, so I wouldn't know what to draw."

Skylar took a deep breath as her face somehow reddened even more, "I hope I can meet your expectations; you've probably seen all kinds of models and stuff."

"What do you mean, models and stuff?" Jay furrowed his brow.

"Like porn, I mean, real porn."

"I don't watch a lot of porn, interestingly enough. Honestly, it doesn't really catch my interest. Now, hentai, that's a little different," he added with a bit of his own blushing. "Anyway, I've never compared you to a model, there's nothing about you I would change and I like you just the way you are."

"That kind if flattery isn't going to work on me just yet." She paused and tried to sip her drink, but stopped, "What is hentai?" She asked, looking up at him from the cup. "You're hitting me with all these words I've never heard before."

"Well, it's like anime porn, basically. It can also describe erotic art and stuff. It pretty much means pervert, in Japanese."

Skylar laughed, "Describes you perfectly."

Jay frowned and looked a bit hurt, "Ouch," he laughed in turn. "That's totally unfair. At least I'm being open about my sexuality; you make it seem like you've never done anything like that in your life."

"Anything like what?" She asked, a bit too defensively.

"Like watching porn. Don't tell me you've never seen porn before."

Skylar looked down, unable to make eye contact with him, "Not a lot. My friend showed me some stuff when I was in high school; I hated it. Everything about it was like, super dirty and gross."

"Yeah, but it's not all like that. There's some really niche stuff out there, and some of it is actually really sweet."

She looked doubtful, "If you say so, but why does anyone need to watch porn, anyway?"

"For fun, mostly, or inspiration, I guess."

"Inspiration for what?"

Jay sat back and took a swig of his drink, "Now you're making me embarrassed. To masturbate to, Sky, what else?"

Skylar felt like diving under a rock as her cheeks became painfully strained with her flushing, "Geez, don't say that so loudly!"

"I'm not even talking loud; no one can hear us."

Skylar looked around and felt as if everyone in the coffee shop were staring at them. In reality, it was just as Jay had said: no one was interested, "Why does anyone need inspiration for that?"

Jay looked at her with an intrigued smile, "You never masturbate?"

Skylar's face continued to burn, "Oh geez," she breathed as she looked away.

Jay giggled, "No, no, you can't get away from this. You can tell me the truth or you can lie, but I won't believe you if you say no. Remember, I found your little 'toothbrush', so you can't back out of this."

Skylar set her jaw, "It's just a toothbrush!"

"That you use to get off with," Jay teased her. "Am I wrong?"

Skylar clenched her fist and exhaled sharply, "Yeah... okay. I use it sometimes when I'm feeling lonely; happy?"

Jay frowned deeply, "Aw, when are you feeling lonely?"

She stared at her coffee for a long moment before replying, "You think it's easy for me to go without you, Jay? It's not. I go through the same things you go through: sometimes I feel like I'm gonna explode if you don't touch me. Sometimes, usually after one of our dates, you drop me off home and I just feel sick leaving you. I get so warm and tingly and my body wants you so badly that I can't sleep until... you know," she looked up at him earnestly.

"That is literally the sweetest, most amazing thing I've ever heard you say to me," Jay smiled as his eyes began to water.

Skylar grinned, "Oh my gosh, are you going to cry?"

Jay wiped his eyes and laughed, "No! I'm not crying, it's like..."

"You are gonna cry," Skylar threw her head back and laughed boisterously, "Who's the woman in this relationship, Jay?"

Jay shook his head and managed to get his emotions under control, "That's gender discrimination and I won't stand for it; men should be able to cry too."

"Oh yeah?" Her laughter died down. "Well, I mean it. I remember what you said last night and it's not easy for me either. I wanted to wait because I feel like it's the right thing to do, but that doesn't always mean I want to."

Jay nodded and reached over the table to squeeze her hand, "I know. I didn't want you to feel like you were killing me inside, so I try to play it off, but I feel better knowing that you're suffering just as much as I am."

Skylar gave him a sideways grin, "You're a jerk."

"The jerkiest. Anyway, did you actually read any of my other comics are were you just staring wide eyed at your own image?"

"The latter."

"When you go home and you get some time to yourself, you should read one of them. I'll send you the link and you can read it on your phone."

She pursed her lips, "You want me to read your stuff?"

"I'd love it if you did. You're better at English than me, anyway, so a little perspective and maybe even some proofreading might help. You can tell me what you think."

She shook her head, "I dunno."

"Aw, why not?" Jay actually was a bit hurt.

"I just... what if it's wrong, Jay?" She asked him with honest concern.

Jay sighed, "For all I know, it might be, but I don't feel guilty doing what I do. I think if the art is tasteful and the artist is passionate about what they're doing, it can't be any more wrong than anything else that people call legitimate. Churches extort money from innocent people all the time in the name of god, but if I draw a naked lady it's a sin? I think, if it's fantasy and everyone involved can keep a clear head on their shoulders and separate it from reality, we shouldn't be judged for wanting to make art that involves sex. I believe that there is good and bad in the world, but most of the people that try to define them just so happen to turn a blind eye to the bad things that work in their favor. All I'm asking for is that you go into it with an open mind and come to your own conclusions. I don't want to know what your mom or dad would think, I want to know what Skylar thinks," he said surely as he leaned forward. "I know you didn't ask me to stop, and I know that you love me so much that you never will, but I'm telling you, Sky... if you read some of my comics and you really feel like they're wrong, I'll go totally smut free and stop it with the naughty stuff all together. Like I said, my relationship is so much more important to me than all of this, and hey, if I lose a little business, so what? I'll find a way to make it work. When I started to realize how much money I was bringing in, I was super happy," he paused as he took a sip of his tea. "The only thing I could think about was how amazing it would be if I could get you a house and a car and maybe afford for us to travel. But, if all that is built on something that you think is wrong, I don't want that...okay?"

Skylar took a deep breath and nodded, "I get all that, and I know how happy that would make you, but I'm not planning on just sitting around and letting you lavish me like a princess. I'm still processing all of this and it's going to take me a little time to get over it completely; it's too soon for me, Jay."

"Too soon for what?" He asked with a startled look.

"For me to read your comics, what did you think I meant?"

Jay shrunk back in his seat and sighed with a chuckle, "I thought you were talking about the wedding."

Her eyes widened, "No!' She laughed. "you need to stop freaking yourself out like that; I'm upset, yeah, but it's not like I found out you were a vigilante with a secret lair and a broodingly dark backstory. I'm telling you that I still need some time to think about this, I'm not calling anything off."

It was obvious that Jay was disappointed with her answer, but he nodded and smiled, "I understand. Also, broodingly dark backstory?"

She gave him a sideways smile, "Yes, involving the brutal murder of your adopted parents when you were a child, and your quest for revenge wrapped in a coming of age story that drove you to go to the same college as me. In your arrogance, you thought you might get yourself a girlfriend to maintain a believable alibi, but it backfired and you fell in love, and now you're torn between telling me the truth and losing me, or keeping it a secret and losing me anyway when I inevitably find out about it in the future...after we have two kids."

Jay smirked and laughed, "Wow, that's pretty intense. What's my superhero name?"

"Pfft, I didn't say superhero, I said vigilante: you don't have any powers, so so you don't get the title."

"Geez, fine. So, what's my vigilante name then?"

She blinked, "Iono, how about... the Jay?"

He gave her a flat look followed by an incredulous smile, "That seems a little obvious, don't you think?"

"That's the point; no one would ever suspect."

"It's lame though."

"You can come up with a better one, then, it's just a working title."

How about: Captain crisis?"

"And you thought mine was lame?!" Her eyes widened as she laughed. "You can't be captain anything; you need a team to be a captain, and vigilantes generally work alone."

"Damn. How about one of those single word hero names like: Mystery.

"You suck at this. With a name like that..."

Their conversation went on for another thirty minutes. They both knew that they were deviating from the more serious topics, but it felt good to talk about something else.

The newly engaged couple had an early dinner before they headed back to her house. Jay dropped her off and waved goodbye to her, and she smiled and waved back. Neither one of them had brought up anything from the day before after their conversation at the coffee shop, and things were still feeling awkward for Skylar. She wanted everything to go back to the way it was, but then, she hadn't known his secret then.

The garage door was open and a middle aged man was tinkering on a lawnmower engine inside. Skylar walked toward the front door and hollered, "Hey, dad!"

The man, Stanley by name, turned and smiled, "Hey, sweetheart!" He greeted her in return before immediately turning back to his project.

Skylar frowned slightly as her father turned away from her. He was a quiet, standoffish sort of man that had a strong presence and spoke only when he needed to. She could tell that her leaving the house was going to be harder on him that he wanted to admit, but she was determined to involve him in the wedding as much as she could.

She tossed open the front door and headed inside. Her younger sister, Jacey, was sitting on the couch watching some show, and she gave her older sister the slightest of acknowledgements as she entered the room.

"How's it going?" Skylar asked her sister as she hung up her (Jay's) coat.

"Fine. Mom's out doing some church tea thing, so you're free to wander about without the risk of getting another dress book thrown at you."

Skylar smiled and laughed, "Thanks, but I think I'm going to sequester myself in my room for the rest of the night."

"You mean, my room, right?" Jacey grinned.

As soon as Skylar moved out, her sister was planning on taking it over. Skylar's room was a bit larger and had a balcony, and even though she knew that her sister would never use it, it had seemed like the most desirable thing in the world to Jacey, "Yes, your future room," she rolled her eyes playfully.

Skylar headed upstairs and ignored the low cackling of her sister. Jacey was nearly twenty one, and was doing most of her college through online classes. If Skylar was like her mother (though she'd be loathe to admit it), then Jacey was more like her their father. Her sense of humor was dry and her expression was always flat, which gave many people the wrong impression of her. In reality, she was caring in her own way, and though she was a little dark, she was always willing to help her friends when something serious came up...the few that she had. Skylar had always been concerned about her sister's social life, or lack thereof, and Jacey had reassured her many times that most of her social life was online. The two were opposites as far as interests went, and that fact alone had naturally driven them apart over their teen years. Because of that, they hardly knew each other as young adults, and though they were cordial to each other, Skylar always felt a little regret at having allowed her relationship with her sister to slip away.

Between the wedding and her new issue with Jay, however, her neglected sibling relationship was the last thing on her mind as she entered her room. She undressed and showered, then slipped into some pajamas and plopped down on her bed. She had a moderately sized tv mounted to the wall, and she turned it on and loaded one of Jay's movie streaming accounts.

She chose some random romcom and settled back with a sigh. She felt guilty for having told Jay that she needed more time to process things, and she kept replaying the expression he got on his face when she'd told him that she wasn't ready to read his comics. She wondered how he could be so confident and open, and it made her feel even more upset. The crack he'd made at her about her needing to live her own life and make her own decisions had cut her deeper than she'd realized, and though she'd largely ignored it at the time she wondered why it was bothering her so much.

She sighed heavily and tried to watch the movie she'd put on, but her mind continued to wander. Even a few weeks prior, she had been so busy with school that she hadn't had time to sit around and watch anything, but now that school was over she found her free time to be more terrifying in its freedom that she'd remembered.

"This is ridiculous," she muttered to herself as she shifted, "I shouldn't have this much trouble relaxing."

Another ten minutes passed, and her feelings of nervousness and regret grew. Pursing her lips, she crossed her arms and sighed heavily. She'd told both herself and Jay that she needed more time, but what was she going to do for the time being?

She took up her phone in frustration and texted Jay: Do you love me, Jay?

She got a response almost immediately: Is this a trick question? I love you, Sky, more than anything. You okay?

Sky: Yeah, I'm just in my head too much. What are you doing?

Jay: Drawing.

She frowned slightly: Porn?

Jay: No, working on a commission. Wanna see?

She blinked: Is it done?

Jay: No, but you can watch me while I finish it if you want to. One sec.

A few minutes passed before a link was sent to her phone. She clicked on it hesitantly and waited a few moments for the page to load. It was some sort of streaming website with a chatroom. It seemed that he'd invited her to join some sort of private session, and she was the only person in the room.

"Whoa," she said under her breath as she watched a blank area in the middle of the screen jump to life. There was a drawing of a fierce looking triceratops wearing armor and a saddle, and atop it a well muscled warrior wielding a long spear. It was partially colored in, and currently there was a pointer moving all around the screen.

Skylar knew little to nothing about art, unless it came to writing, and she actually had no idea what went into digital art. It looked a lot more complicated than she thought it would as she watched Jay work, and the screen shifted several times as small parts of the drawing were shaded.

She watched for several more minutes before Jay texted her: What you think?

Skylar typed back: I had no idea so much went into it. How long did it take you to make this?

Jay:From start to finish, this will probably take me five to seven hours. It's plenty time consuming to draw, but the coloring can take even longer depending on how much detail the person wants. I typically charge accordingly, but this is basically a full time job for me. Also, I really am sorry I kept this from you, really. Please forgive me.