Oddball Ch. 07a

*Disclaimer: Any and all persons engaging in sexual activity are at least eighteen years of age.

*

Chapter 1

Oscar's old clunker was making a funny noise. Beyond topping off the gas tank, radiator and oil, Oscar was clueless about automobiles so he took it to George's Garage.

"Help you?" an attractive blonde asked him, dazzling him with her smile.

"Um, yeah, um it's making a funny sound, you know, when I accelerate," Oscar stammered.

Even with a girlfriend as drop dead gorgeous as Britney, Oscar was still quite nervous around attractive females.

Violet wasn't helping him; she kept smiling at him. Her shorts displayed a good bit of leg, and when she turned around, her cheeks hung out slightly. The black tee shirt did not conceal the fact that her quite large breasts were not restrained by any bra, and did not conceal the fact that both nipples were pierced. Right now, those nipples were also quite hard.

"Oh, no!" she teased. "A funny sound? Did you tell it to stop that?"

"Ha ha," he smiled, still quite nervous.

"Okay, let's have a look," she said, popping open the hood. "Start it up for me."

Oscar couldn't help but stare at her very nice rear end as he walked around to the driver's door. She smirked to herself as he managed to catch his knee on the front bumper of his car.

"Holy cow," she said to herself when he got into the car. "The size of that kid's feet, wonder if it's true what they say."

"Okay, rev it up for me," she called out and heard the 'funny sound' when Oscar did rev it a few times.

"Okay," she told him. "Sounds like you have one or two pistons that aren't firing; that's why it sounds 'off' or 'funny;' when have the last time you had this thing tuned up?" Violet asked Oscar.

"Um," he thought.

"Okay, that answers my question," she laughed and closed the hood of the car.

"Chrysler Newport, what, 19787 model?" She asked as she flipped through the desk reference that John Farmer kept on the backbench.

"Um, yes, yes ma'am," Oscar stammered, looking at her rear end.

"Ma'am?" Violet laughed. "Hey, stud, I ain't any older than you!"

"I'm um, I'm eighteen," Oscar offered.

"See?" Violet laughed as she wrote out an estimate. "I'm twenty three, no where near 'ma'am' age."

"Yes ma'am, sorry," Oscar stammered, trying to will his cock to go back down.

"Okay, full tune up, I'll throw in the oil change for thirty five; you also need to change all your filters, they're damned near rotted out, let me guess, you have no idea when the last time's they've been changed either, and I'll also go over your transmission, let's say, three hundred?" Violet said and handed Oscar the written estimate.

At first she and John had argued about providing their customers with written estimates. He won, of course, it was his garage.

"See, with a copy of it, they can't come back and say 'Well, you promised me a full A/C overhaul for two hundred,' when you and I know it's at least five hundred, " John pointed out. "Plus that, they feel more confident in us; we put it in writing."

"Yeah, but suppose it goes over, they're going to be all like 'Nuh uh! You said five hundred, not seven hundred,'" Violet argued.

"And it says right here at the bottom, 'All written estimates are just that, estimates, and are subject to change due to parts prices, labor additions and other unforeseen conditions," John said, pointing to the bottom of the paper.

"Uh huh, but you know some people just ain't going to buy that," Violet groused.

"Tell you what," John smiled, making her smile as well. "Do it, just do it for me, and I'll let you wear whatever you want to work in."

"Shorts?" Violet asked.

"Uh huh," John agreed. "Even shorts."

"Um, okay, I guess," Oscar, said, wishing his erection would go down, and wishing she would quit smiling at him, almost teasing him.

"Okay, I should have it ready by, how's Wednesday sound?" Violet asked.

"Um, okay," Oscar, agreed.

He turned to walk out of the garage; his house was only a couple of blocks over.

"Going to need a ride?" Violet asked.

"No, um, no ma'am, thank you," Oscar stammered, still nervous. "I live only a couple of blocks over."

"This is DeGarde," Violet smiled. "EVERYTHING'S just a couple of blocks over."

He smiled, accepting the good-natured jibe about how small his hometown is.

"Uh huh, and where do you live?" he asked.

"Couple of blocks over," she smiled and bent over to work on the Volkswagen Beetle that had been brought in last Saturday.

"Okay, see you Wednesday," Oscar said.

"Actually, I live right upstairs," Violet offered. "Want to, you can stop by sometime. It's just me up there."

She didn't know why she was practically throwing herself at the scrawny boy.

Yes she did. In high school, she'd been head over heels in love with Conner Barnwell, a scrawny nerd. His kisses were so timid the first few times, but once he saw that she wasn't going to push him away, he got a little bolder. She'd actually convinced herself she was in love with Conner. But he wound up getting another girl pregnant and married her. That ended that relationship.

The second reason Violet was throwing herself at the scrawny, goofy looking kid was that lump in his slacks. Looking at that lump, she could tell that the myth about the size of a man's feet was no myth. At least it wasn't when it came to this kid.

----

The police department noticed the car parked there and ran the license number. Immediately, Houston's Police Department popped up; the driver of the vehicle was suspected in one murder in Houston.

The New Mexico State Troopers mainline was the second to respond, and then the DeGarde Police Department logged on as well.

"Busy little girl," Officer Maxent said to his partner.

"Hell, going to fry, might as well make it worth it," Officer Calahan agreed.

They put a low-jack monitoring device on the car, but after three days it did not move, other than being stripped of any and all usable parts.

"Probably knew we would find it sooner or later," Officer Calahan observed and called a salvage yard to come get the stripped vehicle.

Juan Perez, a 'Yellow Jackets' gang member felt his new forty-five handgun. The weight of it, the feel of the handle, every thing about the gun appealed to him. He had seen the barrel glinting in the sunlight as he walked past that battered old Toyota. Smashing the widow had been almost too easy. And the bitch had stashed two hundred in the glove box too.

----

"God, don't you have any good music?" Britney complained as she and Mary and Thomas drove home after cheerleading and football practice.

"It's all good, thank you very little," Thomas argued back.

"I like this," Mary defended as Faith and the Muse poured out of the truck's speakers.

"Oh, bull hockey," Britney laughed. "You'd like farting noises if that's what Thomas liked!"

"I would not!" Mary argued back, angered that Britney would suggest she didn't have an opinion of her own.

"I can let you out here and you can walk," Thomas offered, slowing the truck slightly.

"Oh shut up," Britney laughed.

"Better not," Mary warned her boyfriend.

"Yeah?" he teased. "What you going to do about it?"

"I'll beat you up," Mary threatened.

Thomas had to laugh at that; he outweighed Mary by two hundred pounds.

"No, don't," britney squeezed her girlfriend's thigh. "You'll make him cry and I just hate it when it when he cries."

"Okay, buster, but you better watch it," Mary warned her boyfriend.

Sitting in between the two sweaty teenagers, Mary just knew she would have to masturbate before doing anything else. She was thankful that her Momma and Daddy had a 'date' that night; she wouldn't have to cook dinner that night. Mrs. Kowalski had already invited Mary over for dinner, so she didn't even have to cook for herself. No, the only thing she had to do was a ton of homework.

Sitting in the front of the truck, in plain sight of the house, Mary and Britney did not kiss each other passionately as they would have liked to. They kissed quickly and Britney squeezed Mary in an affectionate hug, and then opened the door of the truck. Quickly, she punched Thomas's arm, then scrambled out of the truck.

"Hey!" Thomas protested. As a laughing Britney slammed the door shut and ran to her front door.

"What are you laughing at?" Thomas growled and grabbed a giggling Mary.

"No, no!" Mary squealed as Thomas threatened to tickle her. "No! Please! I'll do whatever you want! Just don't tickle me!"

"Whatever I want?" Thomas asked.

"Whatever you want," Mary promised.

"Even if it's a big old wet sloppy kiss?" Thomas asked.

"If I must," Mary sighed in resignation.

"No, I think I'd rather tickle you," Thomas said.

"No!" Mary screamed and burst into helpless laughter, even though Thomas wasn't tickling her.

"Love you," Thomas said when she finally composed herself.

"Love you too, Baby," she said and put her head on his arm as he drove them toward her house.

----

Chin Li watched out of her window as John Ridgelow jogged past her house. She had such a huge crush on him ever since her father had transferred to DeGarde National Bank and put her and her younger brother in DeGarde High School. She was terminally shy, though, and just knew that he probably didn't like her. He was always hanging around that beautiful Britney. That was probably more his type; the large breasted blonde.

John listened to his MP3 player as he jogged. It helped. It helped to drown out all the external noises and especially helped to drown out all the internal noises.

No one, he was sure would ever accept his homosexuality. Hell, just last week, he and a few of his buddies had beat the snot out of David Chastaine, a guy they all suspected was a big fag.

He flirted endlessly with Britney Wertmuller; she was a beautiful blonde cheerleader, so every one would expect him to try to get into her panties. But she was safe; she was dating that dork, Oscar the Geek.

Chin Li watched as John turned the corner.

Tomorrow, she vowed. Tomorrow she would go up to Mary Farmer and talk with her. Mary was so popular, always hanging out with Thomas and Britney, and John. But Mary seemed to be real sweet too.

----.

Melissa and Mary squealed excitedly at each other as Melissa waggled the engagement ring that Jim had bought for her.

"You have to be my maid of honor!" Melissa begged.

"Are you serious?" Mary gasped.

"There's no one I love as much as you," Melissa declared.

Theresa wiped the tears from her eyes as the two girls bustled about in her kitchen. They did this every time; she'd invite them over for dinner, then they'd wind up making the dinner for them.

"She knows you're a big homo?" Thomas teased his brother; their way of congratulating each other.

"No, so far she thinks you're the only one in the family," Jim teased back; their way of saying thanks.

"I do wish you two would grow up," Theresa sighed.

"Mrs. Kowalski, where's the nutmeg?" Mary called out.

"I don't even know if we have any," Theresa said as she returned to her kitchen.

Chapter 2

Oh how he loved the gun. When he pulled it out, the little slant eyed fucker's eyes opened real wide. He'd smirked at Juan when Juan strolled into the convenience store and almost laughed as he asked Juan for his ID when Juan put the six pack of beer onto the counter.

He loved the loud roar the gun made when he squeezed the trigger and put a bullet into the fucker's face. He laughed out loud as the fucker's brains sprayed onto the window behind him.

"There's my mother fucking ID, what you think? It good?" Juan chortled as he helped himself to the ninety-two dollars in the cash register and also took five packs of cigarettes.

The silent witness rolled, recording all of the action.

----

Chin Li entered the classroom and walked to her usual seat, at the rear of the classroom, but then decided she would get no better chance than this and sat down next to Mary Farmer.

Mary did not look up from her computer screen as she typed out the Excel spreadsheet assignment Mrs. Ortega had given them. It was due in two days and Mary was nearly finished with it.

"I think I almost got this, what about you?" Chin Li timidly asked.

"Yeah, the only thing's killing me is the getting it sorted by date, rather than alphabetical," Mary agreed and smiled at the girl.

They were close to the same height; Chin Li was five foot and one inch to Mary's four feet and eleven inches. They were also close to the same with; Mary was ninety-eight pounds to Chin Li's ninety one pounds. They both wore large frame glasses and both had very long hair. Mary's brown hair hung limply, straight to the backs of her calves. Chin Li's black locks hung down to the back of her thighs.

"Oh that's easy!" Chin Li excitedly said and rapidly typed out the sequence of commands.

"Wait, wait, slow down!" Mary said as she tried to write it out in her notebook.

"Um, I eat in the cafeteria, but I never see you in there, unless it's raining," Chin Li commented as they gathered up their books.

"Oh, that's 'cause I like to eat outside; you should come out there," Mary said.

"Really?" Chin Li asked, fighting her urge to squeal.

It had been so easy! Of course she knew where Mary and her clique ate their lunch, and knew that John was part of that clique. She had figured it would take at least a month of wrangling and manipulating before Mary invited her out to their benches.

"Yeah, especially days like today," Mary said happily. "I love the weather when it's like this; not too hot, not too cold."

"Okay, I'll go get my lunch," Chin Li said and dashed off to her locker.

----

Violet smiled to herself as she worked on the car. She should have put it on the rack, but preferred to use the creeper. The shorts she was wearing caped open and she could feel the old pervert's eyes on her crotch.

"Man of God, my fucking ass," Violet snorted to herself as she worked on the Reverend Smith's car.

He had come in, demanding to see John Farmer. He told Violet, in a deep authorities voice, that he was the minister of the church that the Farmers' attended.

"He ain't here," Violet shrugged.

He was at his Alcoholics Anonymous meeting, but that wasn't any of this blowhard's business, Violet decided.

"Need anything?" Violet asked.

"Well, I um, I was needing someone to look at the front end, it jerks to the right," he said and sneered at her. "But I suppose you can't do that."

"Front end? Not a problem," Violet smiled sweetly and quickly looked up the reference numbers and wrote out an estimate for the fat, arrogant bastard, adding a couple of hundred for his attitude.

He grunted his approval; as soon as John would come back from God knows where, he'd knock a couple of hundred off the estimate. But for now, he was enjoying the view. He was sure that the young girl did not know it, but her shorts had gaped open and since she did not wear undergarments, her pubic hair was quite visible.

As was her slightly gaping, slightly moist pussy. He had to shift to conceal his erection.

Violet wanted to laugh out loud; the man's poor excuse for a cock barely tented the front of the man's trousers. Now Oscar's cock, that monster tented the front of his trousers. The thing damned near ripped the trousers open when it was fully hard.

She had fucked large cocks before; Oscar's wasn't the biggest. But it was very nice indeed and it was attached to a very sweet boy.

"Eighteen," she said aloud, reminding herself. "He's a man, not a boy."

"Beg your pardon?" Reverend Smith asked, pretending he wasn't staring at her now very wet pussy.

"Talking to myself," she cheerfully said.

----

Mary sighed; both Thomas and Britney were already out under the oak tree. She loved them both but hated how they competed with each other for her attention and affection. Like right now, they would both try to be the one to kiss her first.

Truth be told, Mary would choose Thomas over Britney, if it came down to having to make a choice. She hoped, though, that she would not have to make that choice.

Chin Li looked but did not see John Ridgelow.

"Come on, leave me alone, fucking ass hole!" David whined.

"Dude, look," John said, trying to calm the agitated youth. "Look, I'm just trying to say I'm sorry for last week, all right?"

"No, no it's not all right!" David screamed. "You have any idea? You have any idea what it's like? Always being afraid of ass holes like you? Huh?"

John hung his head as he left the bathroom. Yes, he did know what it was like, being afraid. He was deathly afraid of what would happen if anyone ever found out. His father, he was sure, would disown him. His buddies, his so-called friends would probably beat him up, just like they had beat up on David.

Chin Li's heart fluttered as she saw John approaching.

----

John Farmer smirked; so intent was the Reverend Smith on staring at Violet's exposed pussy, he didn't even notice John standing two feet away from him.

"How's it going, Reverend?" he said loudly, startling the man.

"Brother John, how are you doing?" Reverend Smith quickly pasted a false smile on his face.

"Doing good, doing good, and you?" John asked as she prepared to start on the small RV.

"Everything okay at home?" Reverend Smith asked. "I um, I haven't seen you or your wife or daughter in church these past few weeks."

"No, no, we're fine, thanks for asking," John said easily.

"Just about finished here," Violet called out from underneath the car. "Need to put up for the balancing, though."

"Uh, yes, yes, let me talk with you about this uh, this estimate of her's," Reverend Smith said, thrusting the slip of paper at John.

"Uh huh, uh huh," John said as he read through it quickly. "You approved this, right?"

"Hey, think you could pull this up on the rack for me?" Violet asked as she slid out from under the car. "Rack and pinion alignments are always a bit tricky."

"Well, uh, yes, yes I did," Reverend Smith said to John, flustered.

"So what's there to talk about?" John asked as he began to remove the oil filter.

"Well it's um, it seems a bit high, and don't you think? I mean, you know I don't make a whole lot of money and I uh," Reverend Smith stammered.

"If you had a problem with her estimate, you should have said so before telling her to go ahead with the repairs, Reverend," John said. "And as for you 'not making a whole lot of money,' my wife and I used to give six hundred a month to your church and twelve hundred on Christmas. You can afford her estimate."

"And speaking of that, have you decided to turn your back on your duties as Mary's parents?" Reverend Smith pulled himself up to his full height of five feet four inches, hoping to bully John, who in his opinion was a weak willed man anyway.

"What do you mean?" John asked, smiling, something that didn't set very well with the Reverend.

"She needs to hear the word of God; she needs the guidance of the Lord," he intoned.

"And she is getting that, and she is getting it from someone who is not a self-righteous, self-indulgent, sanctimonious little prick," John said. "See, Reverend, before I started going to your church to please my mother in law, I was Catholic. Now, my wife, my daughter, and I are all attending Mass at Saint Richard's."

"Well, may God have mercy on your soul," Reverend Smith sneered, once he'd recovered from being called a sanctimonious prick.

"Same to you," John smiled. "Now, do her a favor and pull your car up onto the rack like she asked you to."

"No, no, I don't think I'll be having my car serviced here," the man bluffed.

"You approved her estimate; pull that car out of here without paying her, I'll have you arrested for theft," John said, still smiling.