Only Yours

"Are you sure you want this?"

She was confused at first, why wouldn't he just give her the phone, but when he continued she began to understand.

"I mean, he has probably tried calling you or something."

She thought a little before answering, "I know you're just trying to help, but I need to know, maybe he has a good explanation."

Thomas' brain couldn't handle what she was saying at that moment so he just started talking.

"What the hell is there to explain? I thought you said he cheated on you? Wasn't that what you said? I mean, you can't explain cheating! He's just an asshole... explain?!... I should kill him for hurting you like that!"

Julia was in still in shock the first ten seconds after Thomas had stopped talking, then she broke down crying again. This brought Thomas' brain back to normal and immediately he felt horrible for making her cry. He scolded himself for yelling at his best friend when she was at her most fragile and tried to make it better.

"I'm sorry, I'm so so sorry Sweetie, I didn't mean to yell at you." he said while embracing her. He suddenly knew what to say, he had remembered what Julia's father always used to say to comfort them when they got hurt as kids, if anything could make her feel better it was that.

"Don't cry, you know there is nothing so bad that it can't be fixed."

Hearing him say the words she had heard countless times before quickly made her feel a little better.

"I know you can't explain your way out of cheating, but it's hard to just stop having feelings for someone, okay?" she said timidly.

He didn't stop hugging her until after she addressed the last thing he had said, "...and please don't kill him" she started laughing slightly while still crying as she continued, "I mean, you haven't even been in a fight before, so don't start now."

He let her go and sat down at the table opposite her. When she looked up, he saw what almost looked like a smile on her lips. He held her phone out towards her while attempting to prevent her further pain once more by saying "Are you sure you don't want me do look it through and delete his messages?"

She took her phone from his hand and replied "Thanks, but I need to do this."

The messages weren't as tough on Julia as Thomas had feared, luckily Jack didn't try to explain, just a lot of messages, both voice and text, saying how sorry he was, that he knew he had messed up and begging for forgiveness, begging for a second chance.

Julia knew that no good could come from talking to Jack so she decided then to ignore any call from him, should he call again. Thomas just sat there watching her while she went through the messages, ready to provide comfort should she have needed it.

Afterwards Julia felt the need to do something and although the pit in her stomach did not exactly allow for hunger, she knew she should eat; so she offered to make them some breakfast.

Julia enjoyed cooking, always had, and as a result of all the practice she had become quite good at it. Thomas always enjoyed eating the food she made, but this morning he was more pleased by seeing Julia smile a little as she stood at his stove working on the omelet.

After breakfast Thomas suggested Julia should call her cousin, he recalled that Sophia had always been good at cheering Julia up when they were kids and hoped that was a skill she had not lost.

As Julia put her phone to her ear, Thomas started walking to the kitchen but Julia grabbed his arm and stopped him. He could see in her expression that she would like some company and they sat down on either end of the couch.

As Julia talked to Sophia, Thomas got a little more detail about what happened. He could tell from Julia's side of the conversation that her cousin had asked her all sorts of questions about how she was feeling about this and that, questions he was sure he would not have had the insight to come up with.

When after quite some time the conversation was nearing its end, Julia handed Thomas the phone.

Thomas' conversation with Sophia was much shorter, after a barely present "Hello", Sophia asked him to keep her in the loop and to tell him that she was available to talk anytime, she finished off by telling him that if he did not help Julia feel better she was going to smack him the next time he came home.

"We better get you unpacked, I left your bag by the front door, why don't you freshen up with a shower while I make you some room." Thomas said after giving Julia back her phone.

Thomas had a two-bedroom apartment and he began clearing the guest bed in the other room which he had used for storage. The few nights Julia had slept at his place in the past, she had slept on the couch, but if she was to spend more than just a night, he thought she should have a decent bed.

By the time the bed was free and he had changed the sheets Julia was done with her shower.

Thomas could see the shower had lifted her spirits, her mood was rapidly improving and she was even smiling a few times while they put away her things. Her smile was one of his favorite things, it always made him happy. He had no idea how anyone could cheat on such a wonderful smile, let alone the even more wonderful person behind it.

They spent the rest of the day on the couch watching TV and talking, not about Jack or what had happened, but about everything else. Julia enjoyed getting her mind off it. They ordered take-out for dinner, Julia would have liked to cook something, but while making breakfast she had noticed that his fridge was missing anything that would make for a good dinner.

Julia knew that Thomas rarely cooked and with them just coming back from visiting their parents it was luck that she found enough to make them an omelet. Julia decided that she should cook him something special the next day to thank him for being such a good friend.

Before going to bed, Julia gave Thomas another long hug. "Thank you for being so nice to me, Tom." she said quietly.

"Anything for you, that's what best friends are for" was his reply.

Lying in bed with her own thoughts allowed for some of the sadness to return, she wondered briefly if Tom would have minded staying with her another night. He had felt so safe the day before; he had helped her sleep by just holding her.

She woke with a cry from a bad dream in the middle of the night. In her dream she had been back in Jacks apartment, him with that girl, while saying how horrible she was and her not being able to leave.

The horrible feeling in her stomach was back, she was crying again and dreaded having to go back to sleep, she wondered what she had done to deserve such a horrible experience.

"Are you okay? Julia, are you okay?" soon came a concerned voice from the doorway, "I heard something."

She turned to look at him, "It's fine, just a bad dream."

Seeing her teary eyes made him want to stay; he wanted to make it better. He sat down on her bed and stroked her arm gently.

"Will you hold me for a while?" she whispered, almost hoping he couldn't hear it, at twenty-five she wasn't supposed to need help with bad dreams, she was supposed to be strong and independent.

Thomas did hear her and lay down beside her, putting an arm around her. She put her head against his chest and shortly after they were both asleep again, this time without any evil dreams.

The next morning was looking to be a warm day, the sun was shining and barely a cloud was visible on the blue sky. After breakfast they decided to go on a short hike, as Thomas had done on many Sundays when the weather was that nice.

Usually he went alone, enjoying the view of nature, the sounds and the fresh air; this time he also got to enjoy the company of his best friends. It had been a long time since they last went hiking together; not since before college.

Getting back from the hike early in the afternoon they went shopping for groceries, Julia needed much more to make Thomas a nice dinner than could be found in his apartment. As they walk through the supermarket they discussed what to do about her belongings.

Julia was not looking forward to seeing Jack again, she even considered leaving all her stuff and just buy new everything, but that was not really an option.

Thomas offered to call Jack and set up some sort of arrangement that would keep Julia from any unnecessary contact with Jack, and even though none of the options available particularly pleased Julia, that one seemed to be the least painful.

Borrowing Julia's phone, Thomas called Jack in the parking lot of the supermarket; he had left Julia inside to finish grocery shopping. Jack had started talking and apologizing immediately after picking up, of course thinking it was Julia calling him. Thomas interrupted him after a just few seconds of his rambling and went straight to the point of finding out when he would not be home so Julia could retrieve her belongings.

Jack was not pleased with that idea and spent a minute trying to convince Thomas to let him see her, switching between begging and arguing. When it became clear to Jack that Thomas was not going to budge, he instead tried getting to talk to Julia, but once more Thomas stood firm.

Finally Jack surrendered and agreed to the terms, they agreed on a time and ended the call.

Thomas was amazed at himself; he had never been good at being the tough negotiator before. Usually people could get him to do almost anything, not that he minded helping, but on several occasions he had been talked into breaking his plans to help out a friend. Somehow Julia's comfort was just not up for negotiation.

That night after dinner Thomas and Julia would go to Jacks apartment and gather her things. Thomas hoped that Jack would honor his promise of not being there, but, even after explaining to Jack that if he was there it would only make things worse, he guessed the odds were about fifty-fifty.

Julia made a fantastic dinner, but the mood was a little tense nonetheless. Julia was mentally preparing herself for going back there, while Thomas was preparing himself for seeing Julia hurt once more should Jack be there.

Jack was there when he arrived, which made Tom a little angry, but even though Jack cheated, he was not a completely horrible guy, so when both Julia and Thomas demanded he left, he did so. Thomas was glad that Julia seemed to handle the encounter fairly well; she explained that, in a way, it gave her a little closure.

That evening, before going to bed, Thomas asked her if they should take Monday off, but she thought that neither the hospital nor Tom's work would appreciate them calling in sick the Monday after having been away for a week.

"Are you sure you are going to be okay sleeping alone tonight?" Thomas said as they were standing outside their bedroom doors, ready to go to sleep.

"I think I'm gonna be fine, but thank you. I think the worst is over, I just need some time and then it will all be all right." She hugged him tightly again and they went to bed.

As they each lay in their bed, the common thought was that it had been nice not sleeping alone the night before.

Julia's mood improved quickly as the days went by, and living with Thomas was working perfectly. Julia did most of the cooking which was a great improvement to Tom's quality of life. They each had someone to talk to when they came home and they quickly went into their old rhythm, even though they had never lived together before, growing up so close was not far off.

"What are we watching?" Tom asked Julia before sitting down beside her on the couch.

"A Walk to Remember, it's so good." Julia replied.

"Another romance?" Tom said looking at Julia with a look of slight exasperation.

Secretly he loved romantic movies, but Sophia had once teased him about liking a "girl-movie" so he made a little show of defiance. Julia knew Tom didn't mind those movies that much, he always got very caught up in them whenever they watched one.

Normally he was able to keep a straight face, and not show when he was touched, but this movie proved too much for him and he had tears in his eyes for the entire second half of the movie.

This had become a normal thing for them to do at night. During dinner they would talk about their day and at night they would often sit down and watch a movie. They alternated choosing what movies to watch which gave Thomas a nice excuse for watching chick-flicks without fear of teasing.

He would of course often choose an action or a comedy, which he enjoyed immensely while also avoiding the risk of being called a sissy. Julia loved romantic films, and usually chose either a romantic drama or a romantic comedy.

Not all movies were to the liking of both, but a night spend with your best friend is rarely wasted. When they watched The Notebook, they argued slightly due to the fact that Thomas had not liked it and accidently expressed that out loud. When they had watched Raiders of the Lost Ark it was Julia who had to listen when Thomas tried to explain why it was a masterpiece.

But they both loved A Walk to Remember, Julia even got Tom to admit it. They watched it on a Friday and Julia spent most of Saturday humming one of the songs from the movie.

It was that Saturday that Tom really started to realize how beautiful Julia was. At one point Julia had grabbed his arm and pulled him close so they could dance together as she hummed.

Since Julia's mother was a dance teacher, they had learned to dance growing up. They were perfect dance partners and had danced on many occasions. This time however was different; Tom felt his stomach flutter when she pulled him close.

His heart beat faster as he smelled her fragrant hair. Feeling her body rub against him slightly was awakening feelings he had never realized he had. Her voice in his ear as she gently whispered the lyrics was the most beautiful sound he had ever heard.

"...to be only yours..." she sang.

He couldn't help thinking how nice it would be if she was truly his.

After that day, Thomas began getting distracted whenever Julia was in the same room as him. Even at work, he would sometimes stop what he was doing and stare into empty space if he happened to think of Julia. Sometimes it was because he was reminded of something she had said, sometimes she just popped into his head spontaneously.

It was John who was the first to comment, he had noticed a change in his friend; a slight lowering in the frequency with which they played racquetball was one thing, and secondly he had caught him daydreaming much more than usual.

"Earth to Tom, 'you here man?" John said waving his hand in front of Tom's eyes.

"Sorry, what?" Thomas said as he was pulled back into the real world. Julia's smile had popped into his head and had drawn him far away.

"What's up with you lately?" John asked, "you haven't been yourself, is there something you want to talk about?"

"It's nothing, I'm fine." Tom replied, a little embarrassed about having romantic feelings about his best friend.

"Come on, something is up, you can tell me." John continued probing, "Is it about Julia?"

Thomas was a little startled at that last part, which let John know he was on to something. John raised his eyebrows expectantly while waiting for his friend and coworker to start telling him what he was thinking.

After a small moment of silence, Tom knew that John would not give up easily and figured he might as well tell him about it.

"I can't stop thinking about her..." he began.

"... her smile..." he said quietly, more to himself than to John.

He shook his head to clear his mind from her distracting smile before continuing.

"I can hardly go an hour without being reminded of something she said, and when were in the same room, I constantly have to stop myself from staring."

Thomas didn't look up at John as he spoke, still a little embarrassed at this "weakness".

"I take it you haven't told her how you feel" John asked, knowing the answer, but thinking it good way to move the conversation along.

"Of course not" Thomas replied, "She's my best friend, I don't wanna ruin that, and also, she's barely over her relationship with Jack."

His restrain failing, he continued, "And, she's living with me, I mean, that's just a recipe for disaster. She would get hurt, maybe mad, she'd probably move out and stop talking to me. She needs a friend right now, and I'm not gonna let her down by falling for her."

"I feel for you, man" offered John, "can't be easy living together with someone you secretly like. Especially not such a beautiful girl, 'must drive you crazy. No wonder you have trouble concentrating."

"And, like for example, when she gets out of the shower, her hair still wet, her skin not yet dry, only wrapped in a towel. And then she looks at me with those beautiful gray eyes and sends me that incredible smile... It's just so tough not being able to kiss her." Thomas explained holding nothing back. "Whenever she hugs me I don't ever want to let her go.

"The hardest part is when she makes me dance with her, the feeling of her body occasionally rubbing against mine, her smell as she pulls me close, the look of joy on her face as she moves. I just want to kiss her neck, her lips..." Tom's voice trailing a little at the end as he once again thinks of her smile, those kissable lips and those loving eyes.

"Man, you got it bad." John finally said, leaning back while he thought about his friend's predicament. Tom replied only with a loud exhale, feeling a sense of relief at having shared.

They spent the next few minutes in silence, John fought the urge to give all sorts of advice, he knew he could not say anything that would help, and doubted he had any ideas Tom hadn't come up with himself. After some time they went back to work without a word.

For the next few weeks John would on occasion ask Thomas how it was going with Julia and ask him how he was holding up. Thomas really appreciated being able to share his pain.

It was the last week of November when Julia's cousin Sophia decided to visit for an extended weekend. Both Julia and Tom were looking forward to her stay. Tom hoped it would distract him somewhat from the longing he felt for Julia. His romantic feelings had only grown as time went by.

"It was not that bad!" Thomas exclaimed, "Besides, everybody had longer hair back then."

"Come on, admit it, it looked horrible, I mean look at this one." Sophia said, showing them another picture. Thomas groaned in embarrassment while Julia just laughed even louder.

Sophia was not about to let her cousin off that easy, so she found another picture, this one of Julia.

"Don't get too cocky little Miss Girls Just Want to Have Fun."

This time it was Tom's turn to be amused, along with Sophia of course, though he suppressed laughing loudly.

"What was wrong with that? I looked hot!" Julia defended, "Tell her Tom!"

"You were the prettiest Cindy Lauper wannabe ever." Thomas replied, hoping his laughing would disguise the trueness of his words. Apparently it worked, because Sophia was having trouble breathing from laughing so hard.

After recovering her breath, Sophia suggested they continued the evening's entertainment. "Should we get started on the movie or do you want to go get Snuggles?" the last part was directed at Julia.

"Hey, he's called Mr. Snuggles, and that teddy bear helped protect me for a lot of years. Why do we have to watch a scary movie anyways? You know they freak me out" Julia protested.

"Please" Sophia pleaded pouting, and, with a nudge from her elbow, Thomas joined in on the puppy-eyes. It was not that he had a specific love for scary movies, but he loved seeing Julia jump in her seat every time anything mildly scary happened, always had.