Pakistani Goddess For Zulu King

I travel a lot. Whenever I tell people where I'm from, they look at me in a funny way. Sometimes I smile and nod, and other times I feel like shaking them. There are Indians, Chinese people and Pakistanis in the Republic of South Africa, it's not just Blacks and Whites down there! The name's Madeeha Abbasi, and my friends call me Maddy. I used to get pissed when people called me Medea but I've resigned myself to the fact that most people just can't pronounce my name right. That's why I go by Maddy, it's easier on the tongue. I was born in the City of Johannesburg, South Africa, to Pakistani immigrant parents. I am a proud citizen of the new, integrated RSA by birth and Joburg is my favorite place to be.

I've heard a lot of talk about supposedly world-class cities like Vienna, Paris, Tokyo, London and honestly, while they're certainly okay places, I'm not impressed. The Republic of South Africa's largest metropolis is a world-class city in its own right and I am damn proud of that. Remember how the world marveled at its awesomeness in the 2010 World Cup? People think that everywhere in Africa is war and poverty. That's simply not true. Come to South Africa and you'll see. Yep, that's where I live babes! My parents, Husna and Amir Abbasi left their hometown of Peshawar, Islamic Republic of Pakistan, for the bright lights of South Africa in 1989. I was born a year later.

If you were to gaze upon my august personage ( sorry, always wanted to use that phrase, it sounds cool and corny at the same time ) you'd see a five-foot-eight, slender but curvy young woman with long Black hair, dark bronze skin and light brown eyes. I've got lips, hips and booty, all neatly packaged in a fit, tight body. People say that I look a bit like Hollywood starlet Salma Hayek, only hotter. I smile politely when I hear that but inside, I'm a bit peeved, to tell you the truth. I'm South Asian, not Persian or Arab, and my family follows the Baha'i faith. We don't follow Buddhism, Hinduism, Islam, Christianity, Judaism or any of the major world religions. Wanna know why you haven't heard about us Baha'i folk? We believe in quality over quantity. We don't do the Crusade or Jihad thing like the Europeans and their Arab buddies. Mixing religion and politics makes people crazy!

Of course, where I live, race is the big question of the day, followed by economics, not religion, which takes a distant backseat. Life in South Africa has certainly improved for citizens of color since Apartheid ended, and we can all thank the father of our nation, the esteemed Nelson Mandela for that but if you ask me, we still have a long way to go. A lot of Afrikaners still hold a disproportionate amount of power and control over the country's finances though the government is firmly in the hands of the Black majority. Most of them White South Africans are nice enough but many still have a chip on their shoulder, and this has led to some tension. The White minority has dominated South Africa for centuries. For the past twenty years, they've been losing political power since Black men have been holding the presidency. And many of them don't like the change.

Of course, it's not just the White south Africans who've got a problem with social change. A lot of Black south Africans thought that once Apartheid ended, easy street began. Economic disparity along racial lines continues to be a problem in South Africa. The Black middle class is growing, and the colleges and universities of South Africa are turning out scores of educated young men and women of color who are ready to stimulate the nation's economic sector. I think I speak for most South Africans when I say that a lot of injustices were done to people of color over there in the past but we cannot undo centuries of injustice in twenty-plus years. Blacks and Whites ( and everyone else in between ) should remember that. Also, both sides have their share of bigots and hypocrites.

As a young South African woman of Pakistani descent in an interracial relationship, I know this implicitly. Interracial relationships are part and parcel of life in South Africa. Since the old days, White men in South Africa have had their way with the Black women and later with female immigrants from places like India, China, Pakistan and so on. When Apartheid ended, relationships between white women and men of color, whether Black African men or men from the Asian and coloured communities, came to the forefront. And a lot of white men in South Africa haven't liked it one bit.

I'm not white, as a young woman from Pakistan, I'm considered a person of colour in South Africa. I think white female/minority male couples, especially the ones where the man is Black, get the brunt of the hatred that many South Africans have for interracial couples. Yet people tend to stare at me when I'm out with my boyfriend Sandile "Sandy" Thandabantu. He's a big and tall young Black man of Zulu descent whom I met during orientation day at U of J. Nice Asian girls are supposed to stay away from men of other races, I guess that's the unspoken custom among we who are from Pakistan, India or China. All three countries are deeply conservative and not big on social change and that mindset follows their citizenry even as they emigrate to other countries.

That sucks but that's not going to stop me because I live my life my way. I've always lived by my own rules. My parents were very much surprised when I introduced them to Sandy. I've brought home two other dates before, a white guy and a Vietnamese guy. To be fair, they weren't thrilled with the first two, a college dropout and a womanizing drunk, respectively. Yet they stared at Sandy as if he were a Martian when I brought him home for dinner. He's studying civil engineering at the University of Johannesburg, plays rugby for the school and goes to church twice a week. The guy's practically a saint though he loves my naughty side. He's more than good for me, I just wish people could see that!

I guess it's not every day that South Asian parents are introduced to their daughter's six-foot-four, brawny and dark-skinned Zulu boyfriend. Sandy is the same shade as my favorite Hollywood actor, Wesley Snipes. I own every movie that Mr. Snipes has ever been in, especially the Blade trilogy. I can't wait to see him in Expendables part three! In hindsight, I don't know why my parents and friends were so surprised to discover that I find Black men supremely attractive. All of my favorite movie stars were Black actors from the US, men like Jamie Foxx, Wesley Snipes, Denzel Washington and Will Smith. Something about a sexy black man gets me hot!

My parents definitely had their objections to my relationship with Sandy but for the most part they held their tongues. I'm on a full academic scholarship at the University of Johannesburg and I make enough money through various means to help them with their mortgage issues. He ( or in this case she ) who has the gold makes the rules, that's the golden rule when you think of it. I firmly believe this. Financial freedom is the means of emancipation. That's why I want to help my beloved South Africa grow. I just wish more of us could focus on that. The racial politics and tribal mindset aren't helping us any, that's for bloody sure!

No matter how multicultural and progressive we consider ourselves as a nation, there's always some crap going on that makes you hold your breath. There's an epidemic of rape in RSA but nobody's talking about it. I can still remember fears of a renewed race war gripping our nation in the aftermath of the death of White supremacist Eugene Terreblanche at the hands of a young Black man. The Afrikaners, including those who call themselves liberal and progressive, weren't happy that a White bigot got killed by a Black employee whom he mistreated. People have knee-jerk reactions when it comes to racial issues, even in the post-Apartheid RSA. The incident made headlines around the world.

In the big cities like Joburg, Pretoria and so on, you really see some progress along racial lines. I've seen Black police officers, city councilmen and businessmen. A lot of times when you hear talk of South Africa they mention the White minority and the Black majority. They don't mention the millions of people who come from places like India, China, Japan, Pakistan and other parts of the world. It's not all about Black and White in South Africa. We're really changing South Africa. Take my parents for example. They came to South Africa after getting rejected by the British, the Americans and even the Brazilians. When you're from a majority Muslim country, a lot of people find it threatening. Luckily, South Africans were a bit more open-minded than their counterparts in the western hemisphere.

Our family settled in Joburg and life has been okay, I guess. I've visited other African nations like Kenya, Nigeria and Ethiopia. My favorite one outside of RSA would be Nigeria. I like the businesslike mindset of Nigerians. They're very entrepreneurial. Pretty soon they'll give us South Africans a run for our money economically speaking. I study business administration at the University of Johannesburg and I want to work for the government one day. The National Treasury of South Africa, overseen by the Minister of Finance, could definitely use my smarts. I think South Africa has enough people, natural resources and self-determination to one day rival places like America or Western Europe economically. I've seen several European nations ( Greece and Cyprus come to mind ) go belly up during the last rounds of the global recession. In RSA we're more prudent financially so we were okay. We're better off than the Greeks, how about that? We're coming up in the world!

I hate to sound stereotypical but I've got that South Asian work ethic down pat. Friday nights usually find me in front of a computer inside the University of Johannesburg library, doing homework and also looking after my growing empire. I am co-owner of The Rustic House, a colonial-style restaurant in the south side of Johannesburg. Not bad for a gal who's still in university, huh? I'm a firm believer in living below my means. I still live in a small two-bedroom apartment about two kilometers from my parents house, though I make enough money from my various ventures to live in one of the cozier sections of town.

Sandy wants me to move in with him but I'm not sure we're ready for that. My parents are at least polite to him when I bring him home for a visit but his parents are less than cordial with me, especially his mother. Sandy's folks, Khulani and Jabhile Thandabantu are of the mindset that South Africa would be better off if all the whites went back to Europe, all the Chinese, Indians and Pakistanis went back to Asian continent and only Blacks remained. I told Sandy that his parents are racist but he tells me they're just frustrated with the system. His mother looks at me as if I've got two heads every time I visit their house. This makes for some awkward dinner table conversations, to say the least.

I've got a handle on most things in my life, from school to my various entrepreneurial efforts and investments but my relationship with Sandy doesn't fall into that category. I honestly think I'm in love with the guy. He's gentle and kind, and very generous and decent. He's very protective of me and makes me feel cherished when we're out together, or just spending some time together in private. He cooks for me, and even sings to me, corny as it sounds. I think that's sweet but I would never tell him that. Can't let him think he's got me right where he wants me. Yeah, I'm so into him, but I've got to keep up my poker face, you know?

I'm tired of his family disrespecting me when I visit them. Their behavior makes me uncomfortable and Sandy doesn't appear to notice that. When I bring it up he says I'm exaggerating. I'm not violent but I almost smacked him the last time he did that. Tonight is our eight-month anniversary. He's invited me to a nice restaurant and promised me a night to remember. Well, I've got a surprise for him too. I'm going to have a frank talk with him. Either he stands up to his bigoted parents on my behalf and they stop with their bullshit or he can kiss my delicious South Asian ass goodbye. Find himself a Zulu broad since I'm sure that's what his parents want for him, especially his mommy dearest. Bigotry flows both ways. If I stick up for my man in front of my parents, he should defend me, his woman, in front of his. And if he can't do that, then I guess I'll be single again. Peace out!