Perpetual Twilight

A Note To My Usual Readers: Although I have submitted up to this point nothing but erotic stories, I have always been more invested in the telling of stories more than the sex. Sometimes I think I succeeded, and sometimes I failed, but I always learned from my every attempt. In this story (a simple short story), I depart from my usual to write a non-erotic story. It is the first of many I have in mind, including one that may well turn out to be a novel. As always, your input is important to me, and I welcome your comments. You all make me a better writer, and I appreciate your continued help.

*****

I awoke on the floor, disoriented and confused. Sitting up, I looked around and recognized that I was in a hotel room. The night before, I rented a room at a cheap downtown hotel that was built in the 1920s, and the furnishings of the room were at least that old, except for the television that sat on the dresser. Everything in the room was painted white, including the metal framed bed, and the walls were absent any decoration. Faded blue curtains hung from the tall windows, matching the flat carpet that covered the hard, concrete floor I was now sitting on.

Remembering now, I stood up and looked around me. There was an empty bottle of cheap vodka sitting on the nightstand, and a twelve pack of empty beer cans overflowing the small plastic trashcan in the corner of the room. I had been drinking, but I didn't feel hung over. The memory of why I was here flooded into my head, and I rushed to the toilet to heave, but nothing came out. I just crouched there, my brow sweating as I allowed my nausea to settle and subside.

Convinced I wasn't going to vomit, I stood and walked the three steps to the bathroom sink and splashed cold water on my face. Looking into the mirror, I barely recognized the bearded reflection looking back at me. I was once so meticulous about my appearance, even as a homeless man, but I had let myself go ever since my best bud, Ray, was killed. Nothing mattered after that.

After the tragedy of my divorce that took my for everything I had and happy the state of Texas didn't allow for alimony, I first found myself out on the streets, scared shitless and lost. Ray was the first person to speak to me the day I went to the shelter to stand in line for a meal and a bed. Ever since then we ran together, and he taught me the ropes. After a year and a half together, he was my best friend, my constant companion, and occasional lover. Not that either of us thought of ourselves as gay.

It started out innocent enough with our masturbating together to free porn at our favorite motel on the outskirts of downtown. A night in a room with one bed eventually lead to our practicing mutual masturbation. Before long, we were exchanging blow jobs. Then one night, after a copious amount of beer and marijuana, our sixty-nine turned into a mutual fuck session that lasted most of the night with both of us taking turns fucking the other until we couldn't hold back from ejaculation any longer. After that, the sex came easy to us, and we hooked up in public bathrooms or in the wooded area of Brakenridge Park, or a storm drain, anywhere we could be alone. We never once used the word love until that fateful night.

After becoming flush from a day labor ticket, we decided to stay out and get drunk. We hit the downtown bars hard, ending up dancing like mad men at a gay bar before calling it a night. Walking down the street on our way back to our makeshift camp under a stairwell along the Riverwalk, he stopped and looked at me goofy. I smiled in drunken mischief.

"I love you," he told me. Those three words hit me in the gut and I knew that we had somehow stumbled into a relationship I doubted either of us would have ever imagined, bound together forever and forged from the experience of truly knowing one another more than how much we loved to fuck or get our dicks sucked. His love for me was pure and I felt that same love for him ball up inside me, rooting itself in my heart.

"I love you too, Buddy."

Smiling happily, he turned away to cross the street and stepped out in front of an oncoming city bus. Caught up in the moment, and drunk on our asses, neither of us saw the bus until it was too late. I tried to scream, but the was no sound but the sickening thud of Ray's body slamming into the front of the bus, followed by a squealing of tires. I collapsed, staring at my lover's broken body lying in the street as a small crowd of onlookers gathered around and the police were called. I made a statement, then was let go. It was an accident. Nothing to investigate.

That was three miserable months ago, and I was no better for the lapse in time than I was the night it happened. I stopped shaving, only stayed at the shelter when the weather dictated it, and did my best to remain drunk or high every chance I got. Finding a wallet full of money in a bar parking lot, I rented the room and started to drown my feelings once more.

I scowled at the handsome man in the mirror, his shaggy brown hair all curly and dull from a lack of washing, his tired blue eyes hollow from a lack of any decent sleep. He was a stranger to me now, an image I rarely looked at anymore.

Grabbing the room key and the found wallet, I headed downstairs on my way to the convenience store on the corner. My room was only on the second floor, and I was feeling good, so I decided on taking the ornate stairway down instead of waiting for the ancient elevator to make its ascent. The lobby, which was richly appointed with marble and worn antique furnishings, a fountain bubbling in the center, was quiet and I noted no one was behind the desk, but I didn't think anything about it as I pushed through the brass double doors to the outside.

I was almost to the convenience store when I realized how quiet downtown was. As a homeless man, I was well aware of the sounds of downtown. The only time it was quiet was early on Sunday mornings, and even then, you could hear cars on the highways in the distance. Today, it was deathly quiet, not a sound to be heard from any direction. The sky was bright and clear and gray with twilight or dawn. Unaware of the time, I wasn't sure which. There was no wind, and no cars lining the streets.

A little creeped out by the silence, I was delighted when the bell above the convenience store's door rang as I entered. At least some things were as they were supposed to be. Inside, I found myself alone, with no clerk at the counter. I dismissed this because even clerks need bathroom breaks.

I wandered the isles and chose a bag of cheese popcorn and a liter of Pepsi, deciding to spend a little time in the park, feeding the pigeons while I enjoyed a little breakfast before I started drinking again. I hoped to run into Mad Dog or Weezer to score some pot, which was better at helping me to forget than the booze was, but harder to come by. Drinking was what you did when you wanted to torture yourself with memories of tragic pasts. Pot expanded my mind and helped me forget, distracted by my every empty passing thought.

I stood at the counter for a couple of minutes waiting for the clerk to appear, then wandered around the store calling out for someone to check me out so I could go. I checked the bathroom and found it empty, then opened the refrigerated section and called inside, thinking he was stocking the coolers. Nothing and nobody. Impatient, I left enough money on the counter to cover my purchases and left the store.

Travis Park was only a couple of blocks away, and I was sure to find my people- street people- in the park at any given time, but as I rounded the corner, I found no one. Something was wrong, very wrong. The busses were sure to be running, but there wasn't a soul waiting for one. Where was everyone?

Turning in my tracks, I headed back to the hotel, planning on returning to the park later. It was just a coincidence, I told myself, There must be some homeless gathering by one of the churches I didn't know about. It's not the first time every homeless man and woman went out of their way for barbeque at the Salvation Army or a massive church feeding at Brakenridge Park. Last time I attended such a function, Ray fucked me mercilessly in the woods at the Park, then we filled our gullets with fried chicken, cornbread, potato salad and pumpkin pie, only to return to the woods so I could fuck him.

I smiled at the memory as I entered the hotel lobby once more. This time I took note of the lack of an attendant at the front desk before huffing up the stairs to my room. I closed the door behind me quietly, hoping not to disturb the mysterious silence that had descended upon the city, wondering if the resurrection the Preachers were always talking about had actually occurred and I was the only sinner left behind.

Sitting back on the bed, I turned on the television and started flipping through the channels, trying to find something to watch. Nothing but electronic snow. Not a single channel with anything to watch. Turning off the television, I looked out the window and munched on the best cheese popcorn I had ever tasted and watched for any sign of another living soul. After several minutes, I realized the busses weren't running their usual routes. There were no occasional cars, no pedestrians.

Worried now, I wondered what had happened. Something monumental had occurred, possibly an evacuation. How had I slept through what must have been chaos when it all went down? No TV signal, no body in sight. I fished out my radio from my backpack and slipped my ear buds into place. Searching through the channels, I found what I was expecting- nothing but static. Still, if there had been an emergency, there should be something broadcasting on the radio and television to inform the public about the status of the emergency. The silence was disturbing.

Being a homeless man, I was accustomed to long periods of silence. Some people hate not having sound around them, but I wasn't afraid to just sit in the park with the sun on my face and Ray by my side with nothing to say for hours on end. Just having him in my company was enough to get me through the long, empty days and nights. This silence, however, was all encompassing and it scared me on a level of fear I had yet to experience.

Taking a sip of my Pepsi, I reached back into the bag for more popcorn and realized I hadn't even dented the bag, despite having eaten handfuls of the stuff for several minutes. My Pepsi was still full, I realized, when it should have been half gone.

"What the fuck is going on?" I asked the stillness around me. I received no answer, only lengthening silence.

Looking out the window again, I realized the sun still had not set, or risen. The light was as gray now as it was when I headed down to the convenience store. Once more I grabbed the room key and headed outside, descending the staircase quickly and into the lobby in a matter of seconds.

First, I approached the front desk and rang the little bell on the counter to alert the desk manager, a balding Indian man with a pleasant attitude. As it was in the convenience store, I was met with stillness and silence.

"Hello?" I called out. No answer. "God damned mother fucking son of a bitch's asshole!" I screamed at the top of my lungs. Still nothing.

Retreating through the doors, I stepped outside into the eerily silent streets and looked up and down the empty roadway before stepping out into it, looking up at the sky, trying to find the sun. It was no use. The buildings were blocking the view.

Running inside, I hit the stairs once again and ran up the seven flights to the roof, and propped open the door so I wouldn't be locked out. From here, I could see the sky was still gray, but saw nothing of the sun. It was as if the sun was stuck just below the horizon of the earth, at a moment that was neither night nor day. I saw this time of day in the evenings rather than the mornings and decided I was stuck in a suspension of perpetual twilight.

How could this be? I asked myself, This breaks all the laws of the universe. For the sun to stop moving in the sky, the earth would have to stop rotating on its axis, and God only knew what manner of mayhem would soon follow such an event. It just didn't make any sense.

I stood there, looking out across the world suspended in time and devoid of life, and pondered what it all meant, but with no logical solutions in mind. The world was as it was, and I may very well be the only living person on the earth.

I walked down the stairs, slower this time, calling out on each floor to see if anyone else was in the hotel. There was no response on any floor, no matter how much noise I made. Once again, I left the hotel and headed to Travis Park, the main hub for city busses and general hang out spot for homeless people. If I was going to find anyone else in downtown, it would be there.

Not only was the place empty, but I noted a lack of pigeons cooing for day old breadcrumbs or popcorn, something ray and I often did together to pass the time. Ray had a way of enticing the birds to fly up and perch on his outstretched arms. I missed seeing him standing there in the middle of the bustling park, King of Birds, his picture taken many times by tourists.

Disheartened, I moved on to the Main Public Library branch, another homeless hot spot, especially in summer. At twilight, I was sure to find some of the hardcore homeless hanging out until closing time forced them out into the streets before making their ways to their camps.

The library's lights were on, and I welcomed the cold blast of air conditioning as I entered the automatic doors, but inside I found no one. I explored every floor of the vacant building, hoping against hope to find someone. I checked the internet connections at the computers and found there was no connection to the outside world to be had.

On the fourth floor, as I was rounding a corner, I saw a young woman dressed in black entering the elevator. I ran after her as the doors were closing and called out to her. The doors closed just as I reached them. Panicked, I rushed to the stairs and ran down them, trying to catch up to her, checking every level on the way down. By the time I got to the first floor, the elevator stood empty, with its doors open. I ran around the first floor, calling out "Hello?", but I got no response, and didn't see her anywhere I looked. I left the library frustrated and angry, sure I had imagined the woman in black.

Next, I went to the police station. I figured that I would find someone there, even if the city had been evacuated for some unknown reason. I knew the way because I had bought pot there many times. The best place to commit an illegal act was right in front of the police station. It was the last place the law thought to look.

I entered the building and called out for an officer. I got no response. Finally, in desperation, I screamed "Fire!" several times. It was something I remembered from a self defense class I saw on television once. More people are likely to respond to fire than a cry for help. That was sure to be especially true at a police station. Still nothing. I felt I had exhausted all attempts to find someone, and gave up trying.

Returning to Travis Park, I wondered what do you do when you are the only person left alive? It's a scenario I had toyed with in my mind ever since I became homeless and realized I was never alone. I had already played out setting up residence in a mansion and collecting all the money in town. None of that is really important when it's just you. Of course, you ensure that you have plenty of food and water, maybe setting up a bunker against the wild animals that were sure to find their way into the cities now that they didn't reek of humans. But I had a bottomless bottle of Pepsi and an ever-yielding bag of cheese popcorn already. I realized I would never have a McDonald's hamburger again, or a pizza Hut pizza and started to feel hungry.

Reaching Travis Park, I sat on the tiered ledge that surrounded the park, right in front of the Methodist Church and wondered if I was having some sort of religious experience. Certainly, only God could stop the sun in its place in the sky. Wasn't there a Bible story about just that sort of thing happening? Thing is, I'm not a religious man. All I knew about the Bible was what I heard from preachers who gave a sermon before feeding the homeless.

As I sat there with my head on my knees, I heard a low growling and looked toward the direction of the sound. There, in the deeper shadows that lined alleyways and shrubbery, I saw the shadows move. Then I saw a large wolf like beast made of shadows, but solid like it had a three-dimensional body emerge from the darkness.

Terror raced through me and I felt myself become paralyzed with fear. Three of these creatures seemed to come out of nowhere, avoiding the circles of light around the streetlamps. I looked around me, assessing my situation and realized I wasn't in the light of a lamp post. Carefully, quietly and as slowly as possible, I made a move toward one of the lights. If they were made of shadows, I reasoned, then light would protect me from them.

I kept my eyes glued to them as I moved. They seemed to be unaware of my presence, and I hoped nothing would bring me to their attention. I was wrong. Still in the pale darkness, they looked up at me with unseeing eyes and began to advance on me. Panicked, I started running, not stopping in the light of the nearest streetlamp, but running for the hotel as fast as my legs could take me.

Crossing the street, with the beasts on my heels, I tripped on the curb and fell forward. Stretching my hands out to catch me, I fell, closing my eyes against what was sure to come next.

Only nothing came.

Opening my eyes, I found myself on all fours looking down at a faded blue carpet I recognized. Looking around me, I saw I was back in my hotel room. Moving toward the windows, I looked out and saw the street lit up with light from the lampposts that lined the streets, but no shadowy beasts.

"What the fuck?" I asked myself aloud.

The room was just as I left it, my bottle of Pepsi was still cold to the touch, my bag of popcorn still full. I ate and drank, then lie on the bed in a fetal position and fell asleep.

When I awoke, I was sure I had awakened from a dream. Looking out the window, I saw the same haze of twilight settled upon the city without a soul in sight. It wasn't a dream. It was some sort of alternate reality, and I was somehow stuck there with no way out of it, hunted by shadows and completely alone and defenseless.

I had to make a plan. If there was a way into this bizarre world, there had to be a way out. Maybe there was a book in the library that had some information on this sort of thing. I knew there was a metaphysical section, but I had no idea what I was looking for. God knows I had plenty of time to search for my answers, but then there were the shadow beasts to contend with.

I knew I was safe in the light, or at least that's what I believed. It was stupid to run from them, but the fear of them was so all-consuming I lost my wits and ran for my life. Maybe that's how they hunted their victims, imposing so much fear into you that you just stopped thinking straight.

I left the hotel and walked down the empty streets, following the path that provided the most light and avoiding dark alleyways. I tried to keep my wits about me and remained hyper-vigilant every step of the way. I was relieved when I reached the well lit library with its cool interior.

Inside, I made my way first to a computer, but remembered they didn't work. I found a card catalogue on the first floor and flipped through the index cards, not certain of what I was looking for. It took me twenty minutes to find a book called Mysterious Realms. On the second floor, I searched for the book, only to find it had been checked out or stolen.