Petra the Small

[This is the first part of a much larger work. It is not a sex story, although there is sex in it and more as it goes along. This part has oral sex, fondling, woman-with-woman, and coitus. This part has the characters looking at the nature of their beliefs, what drives their actions and the possibility that life doesn't need to be the way it has been. I would appreciate feedback on what works for you, the reader, as well as what doesn't.]

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She was tiny. When the other kids hit puberty they grew; she stayed small. On the first day of high school she was stopped in the hallways three times by teachers who thought she was at the wrong school. She did finally hit puberty when she was fifteen, but it was a disappointment. The changes that she had watched happen to everyone else were not what happened to her.

Instead of growing taller she had a little growth spurt that got her all the way to four foot nine and a half inches. Then she stopped. She grew the hair the books said she would grow, but not much. She shaved her arm pits once a week, but only for psychological reasons. Her hair was strawberry blond and there were only a few hairs in each pit. If she let them grow no one would even have noticed them. From the time she was eleven she had looked at her self, at the spot where her legs came together, wondering when the hair would grow there. It did, when she was sixteen, but so few of the strawberry blond hairs that from four feet away they were nearly invisible. As a senior in high school she still had what looked like an eleven-year-olds body.

But those were minor disappointments. The big disappointments were her breasts. Maybe that is not the way to say that. The biggest disappointments of puberty were what didn't show up. Her best friend starting high school grew B cups before they finished the first year. She grew nothing at all. By the time she was a junior she wore a t-shirt or camisole under her blouse but she still had no need for a bra, and she was hurt and upset about it. Her Mother had C cups. Petra had never met any other family other than her mother and her father. Her mother was five seven, considered tall for a woman of her generation. Her father was almost six foot tall and a big man. She had never heard either of her parents talk about where they grew up or any family stories. She had no idea what her family history was and if that would tell her that the women were usually late bloomers, or were generally flat too.

Finally near the end of her senior year something started to happen. She woke up one morning and her nipples were tender and looked just a little swollen. She felt the camisole rubbing against her nipples all day long. At once it felt kinda good and it hurt a little. She was very excited because she thought this swelling and tenderness were the beginning of getting breasts. That night she touched them when she was in bed. She rubbed lotion on them and fell asleep with her hands covering them. The next day things were the same. On the third day the t-shirt she had worn to bed was stuck to her nipples. Something had leaked from them and dried during the night. She took it as a good sign.

It wasn't. It was the only sign.

By graduation day she had conical nipples that were bigger than they had been the year before. The areolas were each the size of a quarter, and the nipple itself was about the size of a blueberry. A small blueberry. But her chest was flat.

She graduated high school as the shortest and flattest female student in the school. She had never been on a date. She had never danced with a boy. Her girlfriends were careful not to talk about sex stuff around her. And what she really wanted was a boyfriend, a relationship, a body. She wanted to be normal.

After graduation she got a letter in the mail telling her that not only had she been accepted to one of the colleges she had applied to she had received a scholarship as well. Her Mom and Dad helped her arrange for housing and pack, plus all the little things that go along with leaving home for the first time. Her parents didn't have lots of money but they took her shopping for a "reliable good little car" and they paid for it. It was a small car; a Honda Civic. Buying a car was, like many things, a trauma for her. When she sat in a car at one lot the salesman said to her, "Let your Dad sit there. After all, he'll be the driver." At another dealer the salesman wanted proof of her age even after he had seen her driver's license. Even in the Honda she had to sit on a pillow and she could barely reach the pedals. Her Dad put blocks on the pedals after they got the car home to make it easier for her to drive.

Going to college ...

Arriving at the college after driving for two days, she ran into the familiar problems of looking like she was eleven. Before she was fully registered, three people had asked her where her parents were. Another person had asked if her sister was a student here. She thought about getting a t-shirt with the words "Yes, I'm eighteen" printed on it. She decided not to when she realized that no one would believe it.

The first year she lived in the dorm. She had a roommate who was a sophomore. Her name was Carol and she was from Iowa. The degree she was interested in getting was a Mrs. So she dated a lot and was quite willing to tell Petra all about the boys and what she did with them. Petra hated hearing about Carol's exploits. They simply pointed at what she wasn't doing. What she was doing was studying. Her first year she finished with a 4.0 gpa. She did find a job for the summer and she enjoyed it. She worked at a summer pre-school, working with three-and-four-year-olds. They liked her, they had fun, and they learned from her. The parents got over leaving their children with someone who looked so young.

Petra made an effort to dress like she was nearly twenty, but it wasn't easy. The stores that catered to twenty year old women didn't carry clothes her size. When most of the women her age were wearing shorts and cropped tops, Petra discovered that the shorts didn't look right when you don't have hips and the crop tops require breasts in them. She discovered that bib overalls were coming into fashion and that they were available in her size. They covered the lack of breasts a little and lack of hips didn't matter. For warm weather they even came in shorts.

At the end of summer Petra decided that dorm living wasn't working for her and she started looking for an apartment near campus. She found a two-bedroom place only two blocks from campus that would be perfect but she would need a roommate. She rented the place and then went in search of a roommate. She talked to at least eight women before she found Jenny. Jenny was a transfer from a community college, also starting her second year, thinking about majoring in business, and when they talked she never mentioned dating or men once. She was a good looking woman but didn't dress to attract attention. They agreed on the rent and they moved in. It was a perfect match.

The classes they took were nearly the same and when one needed help the other knew the subject well enough to help. They decorated the apartment in contemporary cast off and didn't seem to care very much how it looked. Both required that the apartment be clean. They studied hard, made good grades and as seniors made the dean's list. At graduation with their bachelor's degrees, they were both accepted into grad school at another university. So they traveled there together and found another two-bedroom apartment they could afford, moved in and spent another two years together.

During those years, Petra gave up on the idea that her body was ever going to look like a woman. Jenny was a considerate roommate who never made a big deal of her body, never barged in on Petra when she was in the shower, and never told Petra anything about any dates she might have had. When they were about finished with their master's degrees they started interviewing for jobs and getting job offers. Petra got three offers. Jenny got six. None of Jenny's offers were in a city that Petra's offers were in. So, three days after they graduated, Jenny and Petra loaded their cars with everything and drove off in different directions. Jenny drove to New Mexico and Petra to Nebraska.

Moving on ...

A year passed quickly. They called each other about once a week, wrote e-mails a little more often than that and were pretty happy with the firms they were working for and the cities where they now lived. Jenny's main complaint was that she missed Petra and Petra's main complaint was that she missed Jenny. Petra spoke often of being lonely and of wishing she would meet people who would become friends. Jenny spoke of missing Petra, of the great neighborhood she lived in, and the cheap prices for homes.

One day Petra arrived at work to discover an email from Jenny. She was all excited about a home she had found. It was in a great neighborhood across the street from a park, had a great big private back yard and a front yard filled with roses and other flowers. She wanted Petra to come to New Mexico and see it. She gave Petra three dates when she could easily take off work for a week, asked Petra to pick one and let her know. And she wanted to know as soon as possible.

Petra asked her supervisor which dates would work best for him and he said she could have any of them. She picked the soonest. She called Jenny at work and as soon as she answered Petra said, "I'm going home tonight and start packing!" They laughed and talked for a while, then again that night and the following weekend. When the wheels lifted from the runway in Lincoln, Petra wished the plane would go even faster.

Jenny met her at the gate in Albuquerque. They stopped shortly after leaving the airport and had lunch at a cute little place that had eight salads on the menu that Petra had never heard of. She had one called a Southwestern Grilled Chicken Salad. It had ingredients she had never seen before, but she loved the taste. They drove for a while, with Jenny, pointing out things of interest as they traveled. Where the area around Lincoln was filled with corn fields and farming the area here was obviously desert. When they got to Jenny's new place there was a sign covering the front door: "Welcome Petra."

The house was built in the southwestern adobe style, with thick walls and a flat roof. It was a sandstone color and had rounded poles sticking out of the upper walls and was built to use the land and the environment to shade it from the major heat that would be coming a bit later in the year.

Jenny hit a button in the car and the garage door opened. It was a three-car garage. There were lots of boxes stacked against a far wall, a bicycle, and little else. The tour of the house told Petra that Jenny had not purchased much in the way of furniture. The kitchen had a big table with six chairs and all the cooking stuff. The living room had an old area rug, a well-used couch and matching chair, but no artwork, no lamps, no tables. The first bedroom she saw had a few boxes in it and nothing else. The second bedroom had a single bed, a small chest of drawers, a small rug and a bean bag chair in the corner. They put Petra's bag in that bedroom. There was another empty bedroom and finally, the biggest bedroom. In that bedroom was a queen-sized bed, two chests of drawers that matched each other and the headboard. There was a large rug on the floor. Each of the bedrooms had a bathroom and Jenny pointed out that there was also a half-bath near the front door.

Just like old times in college, the two settled in the kitchen. After some talk about the neighborhood, the house, the lack of stuff, and how great they both thought the other looked, Jenny looked at the clock on the wall and said, "Petra, there is something I need to talk about with you."

"Oh, this sounds serious."

"Maybe.

The Party ...

"I have been talking about my wonderful friend Petra for months. All my friends know all about you and they want to meet you. So, they've arranged a potluck welcome party for you."

"When? Where?"

"In half an hour. Here." Petra jumped up from her chair. "I need to change. Get taller. Grow boobs. Cut my hair. Take a shower. There isn't time." She sat back down. "You told them everything?"

"They know you aren't very tall, they know you are very smart. They know I think of you as closer than a sister. They don't know when you had your last period, the last movie you saw or book you read."

"OK. At least I have one or two secrets. Tell me about these friends." But before Jenny could reply, Petra jerked in her chair and said, "Hey, do I need to change?"

"You're fine. Clothes aren't very important to this group. Let me tell you about them." She did. She told Petra about the six people that she was sure would be there soon. Bob was a caterer, when he wasn't inventing something. Helen, Bob's significant other, worked as an office manager for a group of attorneys while raising two kids and a foster child as well. Carole sold real estate, was divorced, had her Mother living with her and thought of herself as an actress. Harvey ran a company that made, installed, and maintained those automatic gates around businesses and housing areas. Sabrina owned a business, a shop in a corner mall that sold intimate apparel and adult toys. Jerry had been a full-time trouble shooting technician for a major bank but recently gave that up to become a minister. At that moment, the door bell rang.

As Jenny approached the door, it opened and ten people came trooping in. Each was carrying food and went directly to the kitchen. After the food was set, each was introduced to Petra. Some of the people went to work at food preparation and the others took Jenny and Petra into the living room.

The door opened again and two men carrying folding chairs came in. They announced that there were more chairs out in the truck and help was needed to bring them in. Soon there were about twenty chairs set up in Jenny's living room. An hour later there was someone sitting in every chair and six people sitting on the floor, all eating. The kitchen looked like a buffet in a church basement somewhere.

Petra was almost in overwhelm. She spent most of her life working in a small office or studying alone. Her evenings and weekends were mostly spent alone. Now she was sitting here sharing a meal with almost thirty people that she didn't know and she liked it. Soon the meal was over, the dishes done, food put away, and kitchen back in order. Then something happened that changed the evening. That was when Jerry assumed the leadership role for the rest of the evening.

Jerry was sitting about ten feet from where Jenny and Petra were sitting. He spoke up, loudly enough that the rest of the room quieted. "Petra, I know that meeting us has been a bit of a shock, and I know there are probably questions you have about us. I know we have questions for you. If it's OK with you, let's begin."

"Begin?" Petra said, very quietly. "In a group like this it could take you a long time to ask the questions you'd like answers for and vice versa. If we do it as a group, the process will be quicker."

Petra thought about that for a few seconds and then replied, "OK. I have a question for you. I was told you have become a minister, but I don't see a minister's collar or anything that would say that you are a minister. Are you?"

"Good question. I am, but not in a traditional church. I don't think wearing certain clothing makes one a minister. I believe that how I conduct my life is much more important than what collar I might wear."

"Petra, may I ask you a question?" this from a woman wearing old faded jeans and a western shirt. Petra nodded.

"What is the thing that, if it showed up in your life, would make the biggest difference to you?"

"Could you ask that again? That is a big question."

"If there is something that you long for, hope for, that isn't in your life already, but you'd like it to be - what is it?"

"Oh. That. What's missing from my life is a husband, a family, being loved and accepted. I can't believe I just said that to strangers."

Another person, "What would you be willing to do to have those things?"

"I'd be willing to do anything."

"Leave Nebraska?"

"In a flash."

"Change jobs?"

"Sure."

Jerry spoke again, "In this group, the possibility exists for you to have exactly what you want. It may not look exactly as you have envisioned it. It will, however, feel exactly as you have always known it would feel. As a group, it is our intention that everyone feels the love of family, the acceptance of what we call a chosen family, and that we are there for each other in every physical, spiritual, and emotional way possible. And to have all this, all you are required to do is live like that is who you are."

Petra sat silent for a long time. Finally she looked up and said, "Even a husband?"

Sitting against the front wall of the living room was a man dressed in Dockers, a striped business shirt and wearing glasses. He stood up and said, "I've watched you from the moment I arrived here today. I've spoken to Jenny about you many times. My name is Tom, Tom Soshin. Here is what I offer you: If you will move here, I will help you find a job, help you move, and begin dating you with the intention that we get married one year from today."

The room erupted in clapping, cheers and other noise. Petra sat stunned. Finally the room quieted and Petra knew she had to say something.

"Tom, please come and sit by me. We have much to discuss." He beamed and did as she asked. Two hours later Tom took Petra by the hand and they told Jenny they were going for a walk. Jenny finished saying good night to the few remaining guests and went to her room. Over and over she thought, "Well, isn't life surprising?"

It was very late when Petra and Tom arrived back at Jenny's. They could not have told anyone where they had walked. They started out walking side by side. Sometime during the walk they realized they had been holding hands. At one time they were in a park, sat on a bench talking and holding hands. They decided to walk some more, and when they stood something about that moment had Tom kiss her. His lips touched hers very gently and after just three seconds he started to back off, thinking that he'd better not rush too much. He was unaware that this kiss was Petra's first kiss from a man. When she felt him starting to pull back, she put her arms around him and pressed her mouth against his. Remembering what she had seen in movies she opened her mouth just a little, but didn't know what else she was supposed to do. Tom did. He felt her open and pushed his tongue into her mouth. Petra had to figure out how to keep kissing and breathe what to do with her tongue, and with her hands.

The kiss lasted less than a minute. When it ended Petra was acutely aware that she wanted another.

"Please Sir, may I have more?"

His answer required no words. When they lost count of kisses, they stopped. Then they walked some more, with their arms around each other's waists. Tom was just over five feet tall. He was small enough that everything seemed to fit. He had been looking for the same things in his life that Petra had. As they walked, the bond between them grew. They talked, shared and stopped more than once for more kisses.

When they opened the door to Jenny's house, the single lamp in the living room was the only light on. The house was quiet. Tom took Petra back out on the porch for a moment and softly said, "I'm going home now. I am the happiest I have been in my life. I want to take you to dinner tomorrow night. During the day I have many things to do and most of the time I'm doing them; my mind will be with you."

She put her arms around his neck and they kissed again. A long soft, slow kiss that had these two people pressed together from the knees to the lips.