Physician's Assistant

"Hi," Tori replied.

"My name is Paul. I'm a PA, a physician's assistant, and I'll be helping you today," he told her before noticing Aiden's glove.

"Hey! Are you a ballplayer?" he asked, a huge smile on his face.

"I LOVE baseball!" Aiden told him, a smile of equal size on his face, too.

"No kidding. I do, too! I used to play back in college, but I wasn't good enough to turn pro, so I had to get a real job."

Aiden was too young to catch the sarcasm, but Tori laughed.

"Okay, you're the one Doctor Zellner mentioned."

Paul had bent down to talk to Aiden and was reaching for his glove when she said that. Aiden handed it to him, and Paul pulled it on and hit it with the fist of his other hand.

"Nice glove. I like Rawlings," he said about the brand name as he handed it back.

"My dad bought it for me," Aiden proudly announced.

"So do you and your dad play catch?" he asked, the smile still there.

He noticed Tori's smile completely disappear as did Aiden's.

"No. Not anymore," the boy told him in a very different kind of voice.

"We uh, we lost Aiden's father three years ago," Tori quietly said.

The blood drained from Paul's face who bent back down, put his hand on Aiden's knee, then said, "Aiden? I am SO sorry."

"It's okay," Aiden told him.

"I'm sorry for your loss too, Mrs. Bell."

"Thank you," Tori told him.

He sat down, flipped through her chart then said, "Okay. Let's go ahead and get started, shall we?"

He smiled again, but this one was more subdued and even strained after all that had just been said.

He asked the same litany of questions, but when he finished, he looked at Tori and told her, "I think we can get by with a urine sample twice a year, and I'll go ahead and write you a three-month supply. I can only write 30 days at a time, so you'll have to get refills each month, but I see no reason to have you come in every month."

"I...I had no idea that was even possible," a very relieved and grateful Tori told him.

"With things like Oxycontin, we can't. It's every 30 days, no exceptions. But with Tramadol, we have options, and it's obvious you're not abusing the medication, so this seems much more reasonable."

He paused, smiled a more genuine smile, then said, "And it'll save you the visit co-pay two out of three months."

Tori hadn't really paid attention before because the 'ickiness' of the clinic and her other concerns had been consuming her, but this Paul was a very nice looking young man. He was as tall as Mike had been but he had more of a runner's build than someone who played football.

Mike's hair had been nearly jet black while Paul's was a blond as blond could be. Mike's eyes were hazel in color and Paul's were a very bright blue. Both men had very appealing smiles, and as Paul smiled at her, Tori realized he was quite attractive.

"Will that be okay?" she heard him ask.

"Oh. Yes. Of course. That's actually very nice of you," she told him sincerely.

"I see a whole lot of people come through here with varying stages of addiction, and while we absolutely will not prescribe to anyone just to satisfy cravings, it's heartbreaking to see just how many people got hooked on pain killers."

"Yes. I can imagine. I'm no expert, but I do know the opioid crisis is extremely bad."

"It is. It's completely out of control, and now with Fentanyl on the streets, it's also quite deadly. But...let's not go down that gloomy road, okay?" Paul said much more cheerfully as he stood up.

"And you, my young friend. Tell me what position you play," Paul said to Aiden as they walked to the same place they'd been the month before.

Tori knew he had patients lined up back-to-back all day long, but even so, Paul stood there and talked to Aiden for a good ten minutes as though he was the most important person on earth. She came very close to tearing up as she watched her son talking about his favorite thing in the world with someone who genuinely wanted to listen to him.

"When Springtime rolls around, maybe I can come watch a T-ball game sometime," Paul said just before standing back up all the way.

"That would be SO awesome!" Aiden replied in a way that actually did make his mom tear up.

Paul turned to tell her he'd be right back with the paperwork and also said,"You have a fine young man here, Mrs. Bell."

On the way home Aiden couldn't talk about anyone or anything but Paul whose last name she never got.

"Honey? Can you hand me the piece of paper by my purse?" she asked without taking her eyes off the road.

She took it from Aiden, briefly glanced down at the script and saw that his last name was Jacobs and smiled.

"Okay. Thanks," his mother said, as Aiden set it back down then started back in how Paul was going to come watch one of his games.

She wanted to tell him not to get his hopes up knowing it was almost certain Paul was only being polite, but she had no desire to spoil the best day her son had had in a long time, so she only told him that sounded great.

"Paul was a shortstop," Aiden continued. "I want to learn how to play shortstop. They always stick me in right field because I'm no good, but I bet I could be a really good shortstop."

Tori was doing her best to pay attention and drive, but she too, found herself preoccupied with the handsome young PA who'd been so good to her and her son.

"What's that, honey?" she had to ask.

"Never mind. You never listen anyway," Aiden said, causing the good feelings she'd been experiencing to vanish.

"I'm sorry, buddy. Do you wanna stop somewhere and get pizza?" she asked, feeling terrible for bribing her son but willing to do pretty much anything to make him feel better.

"For real?" he asked, now suddenly her best friend again. "We never get pizza."

"We do, too," she replied a little too defensively.

The truth was, the last time they'd had pizza was on several months ago on Aiden's eight birthday, but she just didn't like junk food, and she didn't want her son eating it, either. It was hard enough being single again at 38. The last thing she needed was to gain a bunch of weight and never be able to catch the eye of someone she might be able to love. It was shallow to think her weight or appearance mattered, but shallow or not, that's how the world worked.

There was another motive behind her concerns about diet, nutrition, and health, and that something she'd learned from being married to Mike. Eating right was its own reward. She'd never be a vegan because she liked seafood too much to ever give it up, but she wasn't about to put fatty foods like sausage, bacon, or pepperoni into her body ever again. But letting her eight-year old son do it a couple of times of year wasn't going to hurt anything.

"It's okay. It doesn't matter," Aiden said. "I know you're just being a good mom."

The road got watery all of a sudden, and grease or no grease, Tori was taking her son out for pizza. There was a Little Caesar's just up ahead, and when she started to turn in, she heard her son say, "Yes!" and that cleared the water up just like that.

Aiden polished off an entire medium pizza and a large cup of diet Coke all by himself while his mom ate one slice with mushrooms on it while sipping a cup of water.

"Where do you put all that?" Tori asked him as they went out to the car.

"Right here!" Aiden told her as he patted the stomach on his rail thin body.

"I think you have secret pizza compartments," she told him.

The way he laughed and smiled at her made her happy and assuaged most of the guilt she felt for 'poisoning' her only child.

Within seconds of putting his seat belt on, Aiden was back on the Paul train.

"Do you think me and Paul could play catch someday, Mom?" he asked before she put the car in gear.

"It's Paul and I, and I..."

She wasn't going to crush his dreams, so she said, "We'd have to ask, right?"

"Right!" her son said. "So...how long until we go back again?"

Tori sighed about the truthful answer of 'three months'. Rather than say it, she asked him if he had any homework.

"Um...I just have to read for 20 minutes," he told her, having already forgotten the question he'd asked.

Aiden's obsession with Paul faded over the next couple of weeks, and Tori was back to her daily routine and had largely forgotten about him, too. Even giving any consideration to a guy like him being interested in a woman like her seemed ridiculous. It wasn't that she wasn't attractive enough to date a guy that good looking. It was a much more practical issue of old vs young with her being the old.

"Old. Sheesh. I still feel like I'm 25, but here I am closing in on 39," she said to herself some ten weeks later as she momentarily thought about the handsome PA when she realized her next appointment was just a week away.

It was hard enough being 38 and on her own. Trying to figure out how it had snuck up on her so fast was too much to think about. But she thought about it anyway starting with high school and ending with the day she learned of Mike's passing. Since then had been a blur, but somehow she was almost 40 years old with a son who would be nine shortly after she turned 39. So as they say, it is what it is. Or was what it was. Or something like that.

Tori didn't tell her son they were going back to the pain clinic until she met him in the cafeteria after school. Maybe it was mean, but she just wasn't ready to hear about Paul every minute they were together.

When Aiden got in the car, she could tell something was wrong.

"What's going on?" she asked.

"Nothing."

"Come on. Talk to me."

"Someone was mean to me today," he finally admitted.

She knew kids picked on each other, and Aiden got more than his fair share with most of it due to his 'coke-bottle glasses' or being a 'beanpole'.

"Was it the glasses?" his mom gently asked.

"Uh-huh. Jared Kirchner asked how many fires I've started with them."

"Oh, honey. I'm so sorry," his mom said, unable to not offer him sympathy.

"And Allie Giddings was there, and she started laughing at me."

Aiden recently had his first crush, and it was on Allie, who was a very cute little girl. Tori hurt so bad for her son she wanted to cry—again—but instead said very cheerfully, "Guess where we're going?"

"I dunno," her son mumbled.

"To the pain clinic."

"To see Paul?" Aiden asked as he suddenly sat up, his entire demeanor having changed in an instant.

"Yes. Well, I need a new prescription, so yes, we'll be seeing Paul," she told him.

"Woo-hoo!" Aiden called out as he pulled his ball glove on.

The excitement ended soon after Tori answered the first round of questions posed by the nurse.

"Okay. I'll have the doctor come see you," she said.

"Oh. Can we see Paul today?" Tori asked.

"After the initial visit with an MD we let our patients see whomever they like," she replied with a smile.

Tori smiled, too, as did Aiden until she said, "Unfortunately, Paul isn't here today."

The nurse smiled as she told them, but when both of the other smiles in the room disappeared in a nanosecond, she could tell there was something deeper going on than not seeing a particular person.

"I'm so sorry. He had a family emergency and called in this morning to let us know."

"Oh," Tori replied. "So...Paul is married?"

"No. Heaven's no. He's our confirmed bachelor," the nurse informed her before adding, "much to the chagrin of several women who work here. It's his father. I don't know exactly what it is, but I was told he'll be okay."

Aiden was on the verge of crying, but his mother was strangely relieved. At least until she looked down at her son.

"Hey. It's okay, buddy," she tried telling him.

"Now he'll never come watch my games," Aiden said, his voice starting to crack.

The nurse's heart was breaking even though she had no idea what was going on, so she slipped out and let Dr. Zellner know Ms. Bell was ready in Room 3.

The doctor told Tori she was okay with the decision to give her three months of Tramadol at a time, and in less than five minutes, they were waiting for the prescription and a follow-up appointment.

Tori almost suggested pizza, but she wasn't willing to bribe her son into being happy again. Still, it killed her to see him so distraught, especially when she thought about how Paul was the only man her son had really taken to since the death of his father.

They ate dinner in virtual silence, and when they were finished, Aiden asked if he could go to his room. His mom hugged him, told him she loved him, then let him go. He told her he loved her, too, but it was obviously said out of habit, and that hurt almost as much as watching her boy skulk away.

Aiden was less moody at breakfast on Saturday morning, and by noon he almost seemed like himself. As they were having lunch, Tori asked if he'd like to go the park and play catch.

The magic words worked instantly as Aiden's head flew up, a smile on his face.

"Really?" he asked excitedly.

"Yes. Really. But you know how bad I am, right?"

"You're not bad, Mom," her son told her immediately.

Before she could thank him, he said, "You know. For a girl."

Tori smiled and didn't say anything because her son's comment was true.

"When are we leaving?" Aiden asked as he began wolfing down his food.

"Hey! Take your time, okay? We'll go in an hour or so after your food has a chance to digest."

She nearly laughed out loud when she thought about how little energy Aiden would be expending playing catch with her. Were it not for chasing her wild throws the amount would be negligible let alone enough to give him an upset stomach.

"Okay! Sounds like a plan!" he told her, using one of his father's favorite replies to an idea he liked.

She sent Aiden to brush his teeth while she rinsed off the dishes before setting them in the dishwasher. Once they were loaded up, she grabbed a small towel and dried her hands. Just as she laid it on the counter, the doorbell rang.

Tori looked at the clock and wondered who might be stopping by at 9:30 in the morning. When she got to the front door, she peeked through the window on the side and couldn't believe what she was seeing.

She opened the door and said, "Paul. What in the world brings you here?"

He smiled at her as he raised up a baseball glove with a ball in it and said, "I heard someone was kind of disappointed I wasn't at work yesterday."

"Oh, my goodness," Tori said. "He was SO upset!"

"I felt terrible. I knew you were on the schedule, but my dad..."

"Mom? Who is it?" they heard Aiden say as he was walking toward the door.

By the time she could tell him, he was able to see, and when Tori looked down at him, her son's eyes were bugging out of his head.

"Paul!" Aiden loudly called out.

"Hey, buddy! Sorry I missed you yesterday."

"That's okay," Aiden told him just before he saw the ball and glove.

"I was wondering if you maybe wanted to play catch or something," Paul told him as he bent down to Aiden's size.

"Are you kidding?" the boy replied making his response sound like both a question and a comment.

"I probably should have called first, and if you guys have plans, I'll just..."

"We were actually going to a park to play catch," Tori told him.

"Well, would it be okay if I met you there?" Paul asked.

Her reply was drowned out by Aiden's very enthusiastic reply of, "That would be AWESOME!"

Paul laughed then looked at Tori who said, "Are you sure?"

He held the glove up again and smiled.

"Well, okay then," she agreed. "I...I guess we could go now so you don't have to wait on us."

"I don't mind waiting, but now is fine, too," he told her. "I have no other plans except for this, so you just let me know."

"All right. Would you like to come in while we get ready?"

"I would," Paul replied with a smile.

She couldn't help but notice her son was starstruck as the tall, blond physician's assistant stepped inside. She also noticed how he put his hand on her son's shoulder which caused him to smile an even bigger smile.

"Are you hungry, Paul?" Tori asked.

"No. I'm fine, thank you. I just a small bite at my mom and dad's. I wanted to stop by and check up on him."

"Do you mind me asking what happened?" Tori said in a way that told Paul she knew it was none of her business.

"Not at all. I'm actually glad you asked," he told her as she showed him to the sofa.

Aiden plopped down right next to him, and Paul put his arm around the boys's shoulder and pulled him in close then gave him a little nuggie which made him laugh loudly. Paul saw the way Tori smiled and that made him smile, too. At her.

"So your father's okay?" she asked once Aiden was mostly settled.

"He is. My dad's 55, but he's more active than most guys who are 25. He rides his bicycle for an hour every other day and lift weights alternate days, and for the eight months of summer around here he mows a pretty large lawn on his 'day off'."

"Oh, my goodness. That's wonderful!" Tori said.

"I agree, but yesterday he ran into a little trouble."

He smiled then said, "Literally."

"What happened?" a very concerned Tori asked.

"Well, he was riding through our development which is pretty large, and at one point he was turning around in a cul-de-sac. He said there was nothing there going in, but when he turned around a Pit Bull was standing on the curb he'd just ridden by."

"I...I'm not sure I want to hear the rest," she told him as she thought about the worst-case scenario.

"He didn't get bit, if that's what you were thinking," Paul politely explained.

"Oh, okay. I was just imagining something...awful."

"It was bad, but not that kind of bad. He thought about stopping, but then he'd have been defenseless if it came at him. He was already doing about 8mph, so he 'floored it'. But the dog came at him anyway, snarling and growling. Anyway, the dog changed direction at the last second and ran in front of the bike. My dad hit it broadside in the ribcage at about 15mph and went flying off the bike straight over the handlebars."

He saw Tori cringing and spared her the details of a left arm that was shredded by the asphalt or the dislocated pinky on his right hand.

"Anyway, he ended up in the ER at Orange Park Medical Center, and the bottom line is he's fine. It happened just before I left for work, so I went there instead of the clinic, and that's why we missed each other."

"I'm just so glad he's okay," Tori said, knowing she didn't need to tell Paul there were so many other things that could have happened.

"He's tough. He did a chest and tricep workout his morning with a splint on his right hand and his left arm all bandaged up."

Tori finally smiled then told him, "I suppose in that case we can let you slide this one time."

Paul laughed and thanked her for being so understanding.

"My mom's really cool," Aiden informed him.

Paul smiled at him then looked at Tori and said, "Yes, she is."

"And she's really pretty."

"Aiden!" his mom said out of embarrassment.

Paul chuckled, looked right at her again, then said to Aiden without taking his eyes off of his mother, "She's very pretty."

"Hey. Someone needs to get ready to go," Tori reminded her son which let her change the subject at the same time.

Aiden jumped up and flew off to his bedroom causing Paul to laugh.

"He's a great kid," he told Tori.

"He really is. He's just at that age where he's a little...awkward...and he's too young for contact lenses, but he'll grow out of it."

Paul told her he agreed then looked around and said, "Speaking of beautiful..."

He looked right at her again, and Tori's body reacted in a way she wasn't expecting.

"You...have a very beautiful home."

When Mike died, Tori received the full amount of SGLI or Serviceman's Group Life Insurance which was $400,000. She and Mike had saved up almost $15,000, a lot of money to them, so this was an unimaginably large amount to her. She had no idea what to do with it, and for the first six months, she barely spent any of it.