Pick Me Up On Your Way Down

Over the next year or so Misty set about bringing the hotel up to date. Mac and Jenny had let things go a bit as they got older. But they couldn't stay away from the place and would visit often as guests. At the same discounted rate as I paid, I should imagine.

As the years passed, I could never understand why Misty didn't get married. There were enough suitors kicking around, although I rarely saw them because when I visited Misty would insist I hang around with her. Even if it was just going to the cinema or for a walk.

It was just after my fifty-sixth birthday that my brother gave me the news that Georgina had passed away from cancer. I was surprised how hard it hit me. I really thought that I had no feelings left for her. But I cried that night and for several nights after. No, I didn't go to the funeral. I didn't want that bastard and my kids to see me crying over her. She had destroyed my life.

I think that Misty was the only person who knew how upset I was. She could read me like a book and it was to her that my brother had sent the letter that Georgina's solicitor had forwarded to him for me.

My dearest Allan.

I should imagine you must hate me. But I beg you to forgive me. I owe you the greatest apology. You will never know how sorry I have been for the wrong I have done you and the mistakes I have made in my life.

I have to admit to you that I married you for your money. I didn't love you back then; I was just looking for an easy life. You were a great provider and we had three wonderful children together.

But then Roger came along. He showered me with compliments and promised me the moon. Roger had millions in the bank and I'm sorry to say it went to my head. I'm sorry, Allan, I was just a greedy person back then.

It took me a long time to realise just what I had lost. There comes a time when you realise that money isn't everything. There was no love between Roger and I. The truth was I had the one thing that Roger's money couldn't buy him ... your children ... and that's what he really wanted. I'm disgusted with myself for taking your children from you. I know there is no way that you could ever forgive me for doing that.

Allan, I know you won't believe it but whilst we were married I fell deeply in love with you. It took me years to realise just what was missing in my life when I was with Roger. It was you! If only I could live my life over again and we could have been together, I know that I would have died happy. As it is, I go to my death thinking only of you.

You will never know how hard it is for me to admit that I have made such a mess of my life and yours. I have tried to write this letter to you so many times over the last few years. But I have never been brave enough to finish it.

I've written letters to our children telling them how I forced you to stay out of their lives. They were the innocent ones. Please, I hope you will forgive them, should they come to find you.

Goodbye, my love. Forgive me my sins, please.

Georgina

Damn, shit, bugger. That was all I could say! The woman whom I loved and had shit all over me, claimed she had always loved me. What could I do? In my heart I knew I loved her, that's why it had hurt so much when I heard she had passed away. But forgive her? I don't think I could ever do that!

I did when I was passing some weeks later, visit Georgina's grave. I left flowers and I cried again. Broken heart or not I was still sorry she was dead. But life went on and the pain of her death faded surprisingly quickly. A lot faster than the pain of her betrayal.

It was just before the Christmas that followed Georgina's death that, at Misty's insistence, I had taken a week off whilst the hotel was in the quiet period before the holiday season started. In the lounge that evening, Misty had a new girl working behind the bar. I did wonder why I hadn't seen her in the dining room at diner. Misty didn't have that many staff and it was usual for the same staff to serve the evening meal and to run the bar.

As I was the only person in the lounge. I thought I'd strike up a conversation with her. She appeared a little reserved and for some reason did not answer when I asked her name. She started talking about something else. I think, three times I asked her name during the conversation and it became obvious that she was not telling me on purpose.

I became convinced that she found talking to me was making her uncomfortable, so I left the bar and sat in my usual chair over by the television. To my amazement she came over and sat beside me. I found her actions extremely confusing. She was uncomfortable with me talking to her but when I moved away, she followed me. To be honest I was just beginning to wonder what kind of a mixed up kid Misty had hired this time, when Misty came into the bar.

I stood up and Misty came over and kissed me as she always did when we met. I noticed that the new bar maid was also standing up.

Stepping back from me Misty asked, "Well, what do you think of her?"

I was totally confused and I didn't know what I was supposed to answer. I must have looked as confused and I know Misty spotted it. She turned to the girl.

"You haven't told him yet, have you?"

The girl had turned bright red and was shaking her head.

"You silly girl. Allan, this is your daughter, Ellie. She wanted to surprise you!"

Poor Ellie looked like she was waiting for the ground to open up beneath her. I was shocked that I had not recognised her. But I hadn't seen her for so many years.

"Do I frighten you that much, Ellie?"

"I didn't know what you would think. I just didn't know what to say to you."

"Well, how about, 'Hello, dad, it's been a long time since I saw you last' and maybe a hug would go down well."

Ellie stepped into my arms and we hugged each other. I couldn't see her face but I could feel that she was crying.

"Stop that crying lark, my girl. I've had enough of crying over the years."

"I've missed you, dad. We all have. You will never know how much we missed you. You do realise that until mother died we all thought you were dead, don't you. Mark would have looked for you when he was old enough but we were told you were dead. Mother and Roger told us you had been killed in a road accident."

"They did what?"

"I think Roger wanted us to treat him as our father. Although we never really did. He was nice and very kind to us all, but he was never our dad. When we got the letters from the solicitor that mother sent us, we weren't sure how we should approach you. I went to see Uncle Bob, I hadn't seen him since you and mother split up. He told me that Ashley was the person who was closest to you. So I contacted her."

"Why didn't Bob tell me, I wonder?"

"He said you were very funny when anyone mentioned us children. He thought that Ashley was the person to speak to. I'm the advance party. Markus is flying back from Switzerland tomorrow and he'll bring Symone down with him. That's if you want to meet them."

"Of course I want to meet them. It's what I've dreamed of for years."

"I told you, you had nothing to worry about Ellie. I know just how much your father has missed you. He's been treating me as his surrogate daughter for years." Misty said, "Now perhaps he'll treat you as his daughter and start thinking of me the way I'd like him to."

I turned my head so I could look into Misty's eyes.

"Georgina's gone now, Al, and it looks like you have your children back. I can't replace their mother. I'm a bit young for that. But I wouldn't mind trying for the job as your wife. Could you ever think of me that way?"

This was all too much. I began to feel light headed and unsteady on my feet so I collapsed into a chair."

"Did you do that or was it something I said?" Misty asked Ellie.

"I think we've both given him a bit of a shock."

"Well, let's face it. It would be nice if your father and I got married whilst you're all down here."

I think I was trying to say something but Misty and Ellie just ignored me and started making plans for our wedding. In the end I managed to get out something about the age difference between us.

"What utter rubbish," Misty retorted. "You've been lusting after my body since the day we met and don't think I didn't know it. Excuse me, Ellie, but a spade is a spade. Jenny told me years ago that you were worried about the age difference between us. So I let things lie. But the older we get the closer our ages get to each other, in percentage terms. I'm sure Ellie would like some more brothers and sisters before I get too old."

"Sounds like a great idea to me," Ellie added. "I'd better call Uncle Bob and tell him to bring his family down here for the wedding."

I just sat there probably looking like I was trying to catch fish. I could feel my mouth opening and closing. I knew I wanted to say something to both of them but I couldn't work out what it was.

++++++++++++++++++++++

Misty was a virgin on our wedding night. But quite a few happy years have past since then. At sixty-five I should be starting to feel like an old man, but my five children and three grandchildren keep me active and feeling young. Of course I don't drive the trucks anymore, but I'm kept busy with the hotel. Ellie and her husband live here with us. There are some times when I wish I had told Misty how I felt about her all those years ago. Perhaps we could have married sooner. I'm really glad she decided to take matters into her own hands though. The age thing had always worried me. But it was finally put to rest by my son Markus.

He just said to me one night, "Dad, take your happiness when and where you can find it. I'll always be here to look after Misty when the need arises. But please God, that won't be for many years. We have all lost so much time together already."

Life goes on.