Problems with Rudeness

I was at the beach on a nice warm spring day. It was the middle of the week and there weren't many people on the beach, which is the way I like it. I was just relaxing, bumming around and getting in a bit of exercise, wanting the day to last as I had to work the next day.

Come lunch time I wandered over to a McDonalds that was on the main road, just a little bit down from where I'd been loafing around. There was a small queue, two people in front of me, but they wouldn't take long to serve. Normally.

I knew the bloke at the front of the queue. Brian, by name. Brian, the bastard, by manner. He was the sort of bloke who thought that any dispute could be handled by abuse and violence. It didn't matter if he was right or wrong, if he was abusive and violent enough he would win. He'd already been in trouble with the cops a couple of times about this little idiosyncrasy of his.

Right now he was abusing the poor girl who was serving, complaining that his order was wrong. She was checking it against what was on the board and assuring him that it was what he ordered and had paid for but he was not happy. Apparently he'd changed his mind about some items and she should have known that and no, he didn't want to have to pay for his change of mind.

His language was a little strong and I was tempted to have a go at him but I knew it would mean a fight. Not just a single fight but a fresh one every time I ran into him. As long as he wasn't going to get violent with the girl I'd stay out of it.

The bloke between me and Brian didn't have the same reservations. He tried to get Brian to cool down. Bad move. The words 'cool down' tell Brian that he's winning and he ups the ante. In this case he upped it by hanging one on the poor chap who dared to interfere.

Turned out that that was a very bad move. The gentleman lying on his back on the floor had a mate with him. A mate with a Taser, and he wasn't scared to use it. Brian landed on the floor next to the first bloke, twitching and burbling. His troubles didn't end there. The guy with the Taser rolled Brian over and handcuffed him, all the time telling him his rights. Apparently a couple of cops in plain clothes had stopped for some Maccas and Brian had assaulted one.

The cops bundled Brian into the back of their car and got ready to depart, taking their meal with them. They didn't worry about Brian's meal. There again, he had told the checkout girl he wasn't taking it so I don't suppose he could complain.

I got my order and enjoyed my meal. I also enjoyed Brian's predicament. Courts and Judges don't take too kindly to unprovoked assaults on cops. They don't even like provoked assaults. Brian was about to enjoy a short holiday, away from care and stress.

I strolled back to the beach which, for some unknown reason, was almost deserted. Funny thing about beaches. Standing on the shore I could see quite a long way along the coast in both directions. To my right, about a kilometre away, there was a reasonable crowd. To my left, ditto. But between the two crowds this long stretch with apparently only me.

I strolled along and I was sure I could hear music. Continuing on my way I found myself heading towards the source of the music. Coming around a small hillock I found her. A bathing beauty, sunning herself, a siren sent to tempt men from the ways of righteousness. Oh, don't get me wrong. She wasn't topless or anything like that. She had on quite a respectable bikini, modest almost.

Oddly enough I recognised her, although I don't think she knew me. Her name was Barbara and I had seen her about several times.

"Well, hullo there," I said in a friendly voice. "Why is a lady as charming as yourself all alone on this great big beach? It's a waste of natural resources to have you hidden away here."

She looked at me and smiled.

"No-one asked you," she said in dulcet tones, "so fuck off, asshole."

I'm like, say what? That's not very nice. I proceeded to explain this to her.

"That's not the sort of answer you give a friendly overture," I told her. "The general idea is that you smile and say hullo back to me. If you prefer my absence to my company you might add, I'm sorry, but I want to be alone."

"And I might just say fuck off, which gets the same message across. Now piss off, why don't you?"

"You don't think that you're being gratuitously rude to a perfect stranger?" I asked. "It seems a silly thing to do when you're all alone with him. He might take exception to your poor attitude."

"You're not a perfect stranger. You're not even an imperfect stranger. You're an asshole by the name of Angelo. And I'm not alone. I have a brother nearby."

"Ah," I said, snapping my fingers. "I know you. You're Barbara. And you know who I am. I'm flattered."

I ostentatiously looked around.

"Ah, I see no brother."

"He's around so I suggest you take a hike. If you're still here when he gets back he'll run you off with a thick lip."

"He might but there again, he might not. Brother, brother," I said in a musing tone. "Ah, I think I've seen him around with you. I assume that it was your brother I saw you arguing with the other day. Big guy, short hair, stupid tattoos, and a loud voice. That him?"

I could see she wanted to contradict my description but she'd only have been quibbling if she did. She contented herself with giving me a nasty smile.

"That sounds like Bruce, so you'd better take a hike before he gets here. He thinks you're a lowlife and I have to say you look like one."

"Ah, but I'm a lowlife with a job," I pointed out. "Unlike some I earn my money through honest labour. Want two reasons why he won't try and take me on?"

"He wouldn't need to take you on, as you put it. You'd probably be running, screaming, as soon as he looked at you."

"Not really. He's already tried it once and found it harder going than he thought," I told her, my voice suddenly very cold. "Also, he has a very bad habit that precludes him trying to fight me today."

"What bad habit?"

"He likes to hit policemen. They don't like it. Right now they've taken him away to discuss this little habit of his."

"What?"

"He slugged a cop in McDonalds. They promptly decked him and last I saw they were getting ready to cart him away."

"Fucking idiot!" she said explosively.

"Ah, me or him?" I asked.

"Both of you. OK, you've told me the bad news. Now just piss off."

"There you go again. There's this reprehensible little habit of being rude to people. You should learn to curb that. Someone might decide to reprimand you."

"Yeah, who? You? I'd like to see you try."

"OK," I said happily and jumped her.

To be more precise, I bent down, hooked my hands onto her bikini and had the bottom down past her knees before she even started to struggle. By then it was too late and I was tossing the bikini to one side.

She called me another nasty name and took a swing at me. I simply caught her wrist and used the force of the blow to roll her over onto her tummy. Then it was undo her top and whip it away.

I stood back a little, smiling at her. She was glaring at me, hunched over slightly to protect her modesty.

"You asshole," she raged. "Get the fuck away from me."

"But I haven't finished reprimanding you," I said in a silky voice. "The question is, how do I finish this? Do I put you over my knee and spank you or do I move between your knees and fuck you. Which would be your choice?"

"You wouldn't dare."

"I would. Indeed I would. So spank you or seduce you? I should warn you that spanking you would get me all excited and I'd probably wind up seducing you as well."

She looked at me, glaring, and I looked at her, smiling.

"I'll tell you what," I said. "I'll give you a sporting chance. I see that the only things you have here are your towel and your radio. I assume everything else you have is in the car. Right?"

She nodded and I continued.

"I'll count to twenty. That will give you a chance to pick up your towel, bikini, and radio, and get a head start to your car. If you reach it before me I'll let you go with a warning. You don't have to get in. Just reach it. If you don't, bad luck."

She didn't say anything but as soon as I said one she rolled over onto her hands and knees, reaching for her bikini with one hand and her radio with the other. I promptly dropped to my knees behind her, placing a hand on the small of her back.

"On second thoughts, I think I'll just go ahead and seduce you right now."

"What happened to the count to twenty?" she asked, outraged.

"I counted real fast," I replied, a hand starting to rub her mound.

We exchanged a few words at that point, rather acrimonious on her part, but calm and reasonable on mine. I continued to gently massage certain sensitive places while we chatted.

I'd actually managed to shed my trousers and was ready for some serious 'chatting' when there was an interruption. There was a yell of rage and I looked around to see Brian charging towards me.

"You liar," gasped Barbara. "You said the cops had him."

"Ah, they did, but it appears he didn't want to play with them."

At that point Brian arrived, charging directly at me, head down, fists swinging. I thoughtfully stepped to the side, letting him go past me, giving him a light kick on the ankle as he went past. And I mean a light kick. It wasn't hard enough to injure or even hurt him. It was, however, hard enough to move his foot a few inches to the side. This resulted in his foot hitting the back of his other leg as he ran past and suddenly his feet weren't moving forward but the rest of him was.

Poor Brian did a face plant into the ground, not helped by me dropping my knees into his back as soon as he landed. I was interested to note that he had handcuffs dangling from one wrist, the other half of the handcuffs open. Being a little out of breath, Brian didn't have much say in the matter when I snapped the open cuff on his other wrist.

"Hi, Brian. Where are your little playmates?"

I looked around at the deserted beach.

"Ah," I said. "There seem to be a couple of chaps over there looking for someone. You perhaps?"

I started waving my hands in the air.

"Hey, officer, over here," I called.

Have you ever noticed how fast someone can go from lying down to standing up, even when their hands are cuffed behind their back? Brian was up and running before I'd even finished speaking, saying a number of rude things as he ran.

Barbara was also standing and looking around. She threw one furious look at me and tried to call Brian back but he wasn't listening. Far too busy putting distance behind him. She turned on me.

"You asshole," she raged. "There aren't any cops there. You sent him running for no reason."

"Why would the cops chase him?" I asked. "They know where he lives. They'll just pick him up when he gets there, which shouldn't be too long at the rate he's running. As for no reason, who needed him around."

Barbara was still gloriously naked, a fact that she seemed to have forgotten. I was still without pants and Tiny Tim had gone from an erect position to a sad sack. Looking at Barbara and appreciating her physique I could feel him turning into a six foot Grenadier.

Barbara was also feeling a lot of passion at that point. Unfortunately, it was anger and she went for my throat, claws out. She crashed into me and I went over backwards, landing flat on my back with her lying on top of me.

I guess lying on top of me brought it home to Barbara that she was naked and that hard length pressing against her bare tummy was my upstanding young warrior. She hastily lifted her hips up away from me which caused my cock to move up into the air with a bit of freedom. Her adjusted position had resulted in my cock now being between her legs and a slight movement on my part meant it was pressing against her.

All she had to do was keep her head and roll to the side, disengaging. She was too angry for that and tried to sit up, fists clenched and hitting at my chest as she did so. I won't say that I entered her as such. It was more that she impaled herself on me by accident, not that I was complaining.

In a swift turnaround Barbara found she'd gone from going for my throat to sitting, straddling me, my cock well and truly inside her.

"You bastard," she raged wrathfully. "You're raping me."

"I am not," I protested. "You jumped me. You're the one who's doing the raping."

Technically, I think that was the case, not that I would dream of pressing charges. Press flesh, maybe, but not charges.

She had a look of consternation on her face as she reviewed what had just happened.

"You were going to rape me," she protested.

"Maybe I was. Maybe I wasn't. That's irrelevant. What is relevant is that you did it first. Don't worry. I'll cooperate. Just be gentle."

She gave me another furious look and then started to laugh. I do like a girl with a sense of humour. Her attitude seemed to be that if things had gone this far they might as well continue. She started to rock in place with a slow sensuous movement, her passage gripping my cock firmly as it started to slide back and forth inside her.

I let her set the pace. Why not? She was in the dominant position. She had a look of concentration now, paying close attention to what she was doing. I was doing my bit, pressing firmly up to meet her as she rocked back and forth. After a while I started to press a little harder, a little faster, subtly building up the pace.

We continued for a while and a good time was had by all. At least, I was having a fucking good time, enjoying being Barbara's plaything. We had established a nice rhythm, moving along at a nice pace, our passions slowly building.

Barbara was gasping now as she bounced, giving little exclamations of satisfaction as we came together. Slowly but surely it was becoming too much to handle.

I finally gave up victimhood. My hands moved from her breasts to her back, pulling her tight against me, and then I rolled over, taking her under me. Now I was really able to get down to it, cock driving in hard and fast. I bounced her hard while her legs wrapped themselves around me, clinging to me as I took her.

I was way past ready, fucking her quite roughly now, hanging on with grim determination while I did my best to make her come. I don't know if she was deliberately trying to delay the inevitable but it certainly took some work on my part to bring her to the final point. I was nearly exhausted when we both finally blew, meshing together with one last frantic burst of activity.

We lay on the sand, or I did. Barbara had her towel. For the immediate moment I was too done in to do anything else.

"You see," I finally managed to say. "Odd things can happen when you're rude to people."

"Wrong. Odd things happen when you're around. If I'd been polite you'd have taken it as encouragement. Rude seemed the safer option."

Damn. I hate it when someone else is right. I pointedly ignore her comment as beneath my notice.

"All I can say is that I hope someone learned something today," I said piously.

"I'm sure they did," she returned. "Brian probably learned not to punch policemen."