Pussy Whipped

"It happened again?"

"Between then and when he died a year later it happened three times. The third time I was on my period and when he woke up I hadn't cleaned him up very well. He saw the blood and he knew what he had done. He cried and apologized and I told him I understood and that I loved him. I knew he loved me and he loved a woman who couldn't even look at him."

She was crying and I held her. I held her most of the night. We slept and we cried, then we slept some more. The alarm went off at a quarter after six. She kissed me and apologized for her story. She said if she didn't get up and go to work people would think she spent the night with me. I didn't say anything. I didn't think that would be such a bad thing, but maybe the timing was off for telling people.

When she left I got up. I found her picture albums and found pictures taken at the firehouse. I wrote down every detail about that firehouse and her Dad. When I got home there was a note on the kitchen table.

"I've moved all my things into my bedroom. You win. I'd like to have dinner with you at least three nights a week and to have you sleep here often. I get paid on Friday. I'll leave you half the rent and half the utilities. That's what a good roommate does."

I worked a good portion of the day with Shanna's story bouncing around in my head. I made a few calls in the afternoon and finally spoke to a guy who had known Shanna and her Dad. Except for the sex he told me much of the same story. Sam was her Dad, and the fire that got him was a chemical fire that burned almost exactly half his body. When a tank of chemicals exploded he was facing it and the fire burnt the front of his body. The fireman talking to me told me how Sam had been in the hospital two years and the last year his daughter lived with the firemen. Her Mom had run off and she just showed up with a suitcase and started sleeping in the bunk with her Dad's name on it. He said that after Sam died she stayed until she graduated from high school and then one day while they were at a fire she left.

He asked if I knew where she was. I said I didn't, that I'd heard about a firehouse who took care of a young girl and was just looking for the true story. He said I had it.

I made dinner after I called Shanna and explained that I was staying home that night and she shouldn't make it mean anything negative about us. I wasn't resigning and becoming Pussy Whipped again. I promised to spend Thursday night with her. After I talked to Shanna I called Beth.

"Beth it's Pete."

"I saw your number before I picked up."

"Dinner will be ready at six but I need a favor, if you're willing."

"What do you need?"

"A bottle of red wine. We don't have one and it would go well with dinner, I think. Could you pick one up?"

"Sure. The wine and I will be home before six."

Like the weeks hadn't passed the way they had Beth told me about what was going on at work. Then her phone rang with another call and she said, "Oh, I've gotta go! See you at home. I love you." And she was gone.

She walked in the door with a bottle of good red wine and dinner went on the table. I asked about her day and she asked about my work. After dinner we watched a little TV and Beth changed into sweats to be comfortable. In the past she might have worn just a robe and let parts of her anatomy be exposed from time to time. The sweats were baggy enough that it wasn't obvious if she was wearing a bra or not. She sat on the couch with me, leaving over a foot of space between us.

At nine she lowered the volume of the TV and asked, "Am I being the kind of roommate that's acceptable to you? I've never been a roommate before."

"So far it's Ok. I'm still puzzled at why this is acceptable to you but at least this way I feel like a man."

"You are a man. You've always been a man."

"Biologically I have the DNA and the plumbing that identifies me as male. That's different from feeling like a man. You know what I'm talking about and I'm not talking about it again, with you."

"I didn't intend to make you angry. I want us living together to be pleasant for both of us."

"I don't see how that can ever happen. You're like chocolate cake."

"Huh?"

"I love chocolate cake. If I ate a whole cake every day I'd weigh seven hundred pounds by Christmas. So I avoid chocolate cake. I don't go into the bakery down the street more than three or four times a year, and I never buy a cake from them. In a restaurant I allow myself to order one piece of chocolate cake on a special occasion, like my birthday. If I worked where you do and someone put a chocolate cake in the break room, I'd eat some, because it was there and I love chocolate cake. You sitting right there is like sitting next to a chocolate cake. It's still in the box and I can't see it, but I can smell it and I know it's right there... with a sign on it that says, "This is not your chocolate cake. You can't have any."

"Oh. What can I do?"

"Take off the sweats, lay down on the floor and spread your legs. Ask me to dive in and enjoy your pussy. Until you do that or you leave, I'm living with a chocolate cake I can't have anymore."

She burst into tears and ran from the room. I heard the door to her bedroom close.

I watched the news and went to my room and undressed. I put my clothes in the hamper and saw that I needed to do laundry soon. I set my alarm and soon I was asleep.

In the morning I carried laundry out to the laundry room and saw Beth eating cereal at the table. "If you want me to do your laundry please bring it out this morning. I'll do it and leave it on your bed."

"No, I don't think so. I heard you last night. Leaving my laundry would be like leaving the spatula covered in frosting and telling you you can't lick it. I'll find a time and do my own laundry, but thanks for the offer."

She was right. I walked out of the kitchen and headed for my office.

When it was time for Beth to leave for work she came to my office door. She said, "It's really hard for you to be with me. I know that now. I don't know where you go when you aren't here but... I need to be here alone and think tonight. Ok?"

"Not a problem. Have a good day at work." I didn't get up. I didn't invite her into my office. I waved Good-Bye and she turned and left.

Three hours later I finished the contract work I had been doing and called the messenger service for a pick up. While I waited I called Shanna.

"Would you like a sleepover tonight? I asked.

"Will I be the dessert?"

"Yes. And we both know I love dessert."

"So she has decided to be a roommate?"

"For the moment. I've given her something to think about and talk to her friends about. We'll see what comes from that."

She asked me to promise to tell her the whole story at dinner. She recommended I bring more clothes to her place and she told me she cleared some space for my things. When our called ended I packed a bag and put it in my car. The messenger came and took the three pounds of paper and two CD's to my client. By dinner time an electronic deposit would be made to my account.

I went to the market and among the items I took home was a package of chocolate cup cakes. I left the package on the kitchen table with a note that said, "Don't eat these."

At five I drove to Shanna's house. Inside I turned on some music and sat down with a book I found on her shelves. I had somehow picked up a book I'd never heard of, by an author I didn't know. The title was good but the subtitle intrigued me. The book was "Power vs. Force, The Hidden Determinants of Human Behavior" by David R. Hawkins, M.D., Ph.D.. I was hooked in less than a full page. Maybe reading this would help me understand the two women in my life... and maybe even understand myself better. I opened a diet Coke and turned the pages reading what the author was saying until Shanna opened the door.

I put the book down and took her in my arms. By the time our first kiss ended we were both undressed and on the floor in front of the couch. Shanna was on her back and I was lapping up her nectar. Her hands held my head and it wasn't long until she crested and moaned loudly from deep inside herself. I crawled up her body and we kissed again. And again.

We did come up for air when someone walked by her open door and was talking to someone. We heard them outside and looked up, noticed the open door and scrambled for cover. I don't know if we were seen and, to be totally honest, I didn't care then or now.

We took our clothes into the bedroom and put them away. Shanna noticed my empty suitcase and the hanging clothes in her closet. She came to me and we kissed again. "I thought about finding you here about every five minutes all afternoon!"

"Thank you. I guess now that you've been eaten and had a little orgasm you'll send me home for the night?"

"There are some words I live by. One phrase I live by is this one: Once is never enough! I want you beside me, on top of me, underneath me as often as you want to be there. I'm a slut. I love orgasms."

"Good! Beth asked me not to come home tonight. I think she has some thinking to do."

"Hold that thought." She dashed into the kitchen and got our dinner into the oven. She came back and sat on my lap. "Ok, tell me the story."

I told her about the conversation Beth and I had the night before and about the cupcakes I left on the table. She looked into my eyes the whole time I spoke. When I was done she kissed me. When that kiss ended I bent her back a little and kissed her breast. Her hands held my head pressed gently into her soft skin.

Over dinner I could tell there was something Shanna wanted to talk about but she kept hesitating. I've learned to wait. Sometimes I've waited too long, but that time it only took half an hour before she spoke.

"You know I love what you do with me?"

"Yes."

"I want to know something. What if you go home tomorrow and Beth is naked on your bed, legs spread wide, pussy shaved and you see her dripping honey into her pussy while she smiles at you?"

"Someone a mile away will hear her scream when she has that orgasm! Now, what do you really want to know? If she does that, will I be back here? Yes! If she does all that and begs me to give up sex with anyone but her... I won't. I am a man, a man who loves eating pussy and loving women." I reached over and picked up her book.

"Have you read this?"

She shook her head. "My sister gave it to me for Christmas a year ago."

"I'm just a few pages into it and I love it. He realized after years of school and practicing medicine that the key to healing is love. Ok. As I've been reading I've been thinking. I enjoy eating pussy, part of that love is about power. I love the power to be the source of your orgasms. And, I'm realizing, I love you. I love the connection we have when you open yourself to me and that connection heals me. I feel better about myself now than I have in years. That connection isn't there with Beth any more. I get it best when the connection is physically intimate."

She sat, looking into me for well over a minute. She got up from my lap and found her portable phone. She touched a speed dial and waited a few seconds before she said, "Drop whatever you're doing. Grab clothes for tomorrow and get your ass over here now! No kidding." She hit a button and tossed the phone on the couch.

She sat back down and wrapped her arms around my neck. We kissed. I was glad I knew where the fire extinguisher was in her kitchen. That kiss was hot enough to start things burning.

She tucked her face into the crook of my neck and said, "It'll take her almost an hour to get here. I've been thinking about introducing the two of you and what you just said pushed me to do it now."

"Who is she?"

"When I left the firehouse I got on a bus and went to Chicago. I had no reason to pick Chicago. When I got there I got a job as a waitress. She worked there too. We're almost the same age and we shared an apartment for three years. We're best friends. We quit sharing an apartment when she left to marry Bob. That lasted six years and he was killed in a drive by. The car Bob was driving when he was shot crashed and Helen lost her right leg at the knee."

"We're on the third floor!"

"Not a big problem. She'll be here. She hasn't dated since she lost Bob and her leg. She has two losses to heal and my opinion is she doesn't know which to try to heal first. We're going to help her heal everything."

"She may freak. She's never met me. Does she even know I exist?"

"Yes! She's my best friend. I tell her everything. So, she knows my story and your story. Relax."

"I'm getting dressed."

"Me too." We pulled clothes on. I watched Shanna and she put on sweats. The same color and style sweats that Beth had worn the night before. The difference was I knew what she wasn't wearing underneath the sweats and I was invited to touch, taste and be inside with her.

We tossed some stuff together for dinner, enough for three. About the time we had it ready we heard the door open and the huff of energy being used to get into the apartment. Shanna kissed my cheek and went out to greet Helen. I dished up the dinner on a serving platter and carried it and three plates to the table.

My first look at Helen was obscured. They were hugging and most of what I could see was Shanna. I got the food and plates on the table and turned to go back in the kitchen. Shanna's voice stopped me.

"I want you to meet, Pete. Helen this is Pete. Pete this is Helen. Now the two most important people in my life have met."

Helen stood so her artificial leg was partially hidden behind Shanna. I stepped forward and said, "To greet you properly I'd like permission to give you a hug. May I?"

Her eyes opened wider and she nodded. She lifted her arms and I bent down a little as I embraced her. Funny how much data can be collected in a three second hug. I learned she was thin, wasn't wearing a bra, was about two inches shorter that Shanna and smelled like vanilla. I also learned that her breasts were quite small. As we broke the hug I wondered what she had learned in the same three seconds.

We moved to the table and sat down. As we began to eat Helen asked, "OK, so what's the deal with commanding me to get my butt over here?"

"Tonight is a celebration. I like having you around when I celebrate." Shanna said.

"What are we celebrating?"

"Pete's wife has officially become his roommate. That means I can officially become his... I don't know what to call it."

"I'd feel strange calling a woman in her thirties a girl-friend." I said.

"You know damn well I'm not in my thirties!" Shanna slapped my shoulder as she said it. She also smiled.

"Yes, I know. You'll be forty-six in November. Even more reason girl-friend doesn't seem right."

"Concubine?" Helen offered. "Mistress?"

"Nope." I said. "Lover."

"I can see it now. Next Sunday at church we'll be standing outside after services and the Rev will come up and I'll introduce you. "Rev, I'd like you to meet Pete, my lover."

"He'd shake my hand and tell me what a lucky man I am."

"You wouldn't actually do that! Would you?" Helen asked.

Shanna smiled and answered, "It would depend on who was near us. I know the Rev well enough I could say it to him. There are others in the congregation who would hear it and choke to death. I wouldn't say it around them."

I asked, "Helen, what did you think of when I said the word?"

"You were announcing to the world that you've had sex." She blushed.

"I'm proud of that. Shanna is a beautiful woman, in a hundred different ways. Any man who can love her and has sex with her should be proud to say it!"

I noticed a mist grow in her eyes. She looked at Shanna and blinked.

A few seconds later she started to get up. The mist had become a tear and it fell. I reached out and put my hand on her arm. She stopped moving and looked at me.

"I'd like you to do me a favor. I want you to trust me for an hour. If you can't trust me for an hour trust Shanna for the hour and Shanna will make sure you are safe. Can you do that?"

"I just met you."

"Then trust Shanna. She will not let me hurt you. I swear I will not do anything to hurt you. Ok?"

She looked at Shanna and said, "I trust you."

I asked her to stand up. As she stood I held her arm and guided myself in front of her.

"I want you to remember some time when you were younger and someone in your family kissed you. It could have been Hello or Good-Bye. Do you remember?"

She nodded. I said, "I want you to give me a kiss just like that kiss. If it helps, close your eyes." Her eyes closed and I got a quick peck on my cheek. Her eyes popped back open.

"Remember at the end of the ceremony when you got married to Bob?" As soon as I said his name a tear fell from her face.

"At the end of the ceremony he was invited to kiss you. You kissed him back. Think about all the things you put into that kiss." I paused. "Now think about all the things that were in that kiss that weren't present for you an hour ago. Things you didn't feel, weren't connected to, an hour ago."

Shanna said, "Lean forward and kiss Pete asking that all those things be back in your life. The love, the connection, the commitment."

My hands went to her face and we touched lips together. She trembled and shook. I felt tears on my face that weren't my tears. When the energy demanded we end the kiss I pulled back a little.

Helen's eyes opened and she looked at me, then at Shanna. Shanna moved closer and said, "Now, give me that kiss."

They embraced and their mouths met. I whispered, "Tell Helen how much you appreciate her. Show her how your hearts are connected. Feel the warmth radiating from each of you to the other, becoming one warmth. One heart. One love."

When the kiss ended Helen said, "I need to sit down." We helped her to the middle of the couch. Shanna sat next to her. I knelt between her knees.

"Tell me what you feel from us, please."

She hesitated a long time and said, "I feel loved. Completely loved."

"Good. You are." Shanna said.

My hand was on her prosthetic knee. I said, "I need to hold your leg. Please give me access."

She stood and unfastened her pants, dropping them to the floor. Some straps were loosened and she plopped back down on the couch and handed me the leg. I set it aside and reached for the stump. A compression stocking covered the stump. I reached to the top of the stocking and peeled it away. As I did I uncovered scars. Scars from incisions and stitches and scars from where the car's metal had cut and damaged her.

Shanna held her and they both cried. When the stump was bare I gently held it in my hands, massaging the skin, feeling the emotions she filled the leg with.

I whispered, "Helen is beautiful. Helen is a gentle, sweet soul with an iron core of strength. Helen is loved. Shanna has loved her for years. Bob loved her. Pete loves her." I paused between each statement. The first time through I held and touched her bare stump. The second time though I touched both legs. Then I leaned forward and kissed her. Shanna put a hand on the short leg as I touched both legs. When I kissed her the second time Shanna moved her hand toward Helen's panties.

I repeated the entire process three times. When I leaned forward the third time she leaned forward to accept the kiss. Shanna pulled her sweats off and Helen and I kissed.

When our kiss ended I leaned to Shanna and we kissed. Helen watched.

As that kiss ended Shanna leaned to Helen and they kissed. I lifted one of Helen's hands and placed it on Shanna's chest. "Feel her warmth, her love for you."

I let go of her hand and she slowly moved it down until she was cupping Shanna's breast.

"Feel the intimacy of your connection. Send Shanna the warmth of your love. Let Shanna feel your energy, your love, your promises for tomorrow."