Ravenous

"For sure," Nash said, finally looking at me. "Like I said, though, bound to happen."

"You think?"

"It's like we're the last people on Earth. Fuck, we might even be. And we see each other, day in and day out, in all states of undress and in all kinds of vulnerable situations and we develop feelings. We need to if we're gonna survive."

I wasn't so sure. "You really believe that?"

"Definitely. I never thought twice about Rachel until about a month ago." He grimaced and rubbed the back of his neck. "I probably shouldn't be saying this to you."

He shouldn't be, but I was too curious to put a stop to it. "I want to know. What changed a month ago?"

"Remember that nasty-looking fucker who looked like my dad? He was coming after me and Rachel shot the bastard right before he would have ripped open my carotid. She saved my life, and that made something shift. She was having one of her dreams that night and it woke me up. You and Luce slept right through it. Normally, I'd just go back to bed, but it didn't sit right with me. I figured I owed her. I got up and woke her up and stayed up with her a while until she fell asleep." He rubbed his knees and stopped talking, obviously thinking about that night. Then he looked at me, and I noticed he looked a lot less mean than usual. Something about Rachel softened him. "I still do that sometimes. Wake her up. I hate that it torments her so much. I mean, we all have bad dreams but never to that extent."

"She always had vivid dreams," I sighed. "Thanks for doing that for her."

He eyed me. "You mad?"

"No, how could I be? It's weird as fuck, though."

Nash smiled. "Definitely. But like I said, this wouldn't be happening under normal circumstances, and it's not like we're going to act on these impulses, so whatever."

"Right," I agreed.

"You sure you're good to stay up tonight?"

I nodded and peered out into the inky night. I felt more alive than I had in years, and I couldn't figure out why. Maybe it was because my dark secret was out and no one seemed to be that furious over it. Maybe Nash's words helped rationalize and normalize my attraction to Lucy. Maybe it was because of the incredible sex.

Lucy came down first the next morning. She was wearing one of Nash's shirts. It hung low on her thighs. It didn't look like she was wearing anything underneath. That wasn't extremely unusual; the women were lax about what they wore, especially in this heat. I thought back to what Nash said about how we all saw each other basically naked and that it was only natural that we would start thinking about each other in less than platonic ways.

I wondered if the women harbored any fantasies of their own.

"Hey, Liam." She grabbed some water and handed me a cup of it. "How you doin'?"

I wasn't sure if she was just asking to be kind, or if she was referring to the whole drama from the day before. "Fine, I guess."

"Good." She sat next to me. Too close. I saw a flash of white thigh and stiffened. "Nash told me about your conversation last night. I hope you feel better about the whole thing."

"I do. He really set me mind at ease." Inside, I was begging for her to leave me alone. There was only so much a man could take, and I didn't know how long I could handle having a scantily clad Lucy around me.

"Yeah, he's good at that. He told me about how he wakes Rachel up to calm her when she has her nightmares." She shifted next to me, and the shirt rode up a bit father. Fuck. "He also told me about how he feels about her."

That was interesting. "And how do you feel about that?"

I watched her lips as they spread into a smile. "Like he does. It's natural. We're around each other all of the time."

Before I could contemplate her words or what the hell they meant, Rachel decided to come downstairs at that exact moment. Her eyes narrowed when she saw us sitting so close together, but she didn't say anything. "Good morning."

"Morning!" Lucy said cheerfully. "Rach, I was thinking you and I should go for a long walk today."

Rachel opened her mouth to respond, but I cut in with, "I don't think that's a good idea. I don't like it when you guys go too far without us."

Both women rolled their eyes. "Lay off the macho stuff, Liam," Rachel sighed. "We are perfectly capable of taking care of ourselves."

"Besides, we won't go too far," Lucy said.

Nash walked into the room and smiled at us. "I think that's a great idea. Liam and I will go hunting. You stay back here."

I crossed my arms. "I don't like this."

"We had a close call yesterday in those woods. It's better if the wives stay home, anyway." He walked over to Lucy and kissed her. "Just promise not to go too far and bring yours guns with you."

"We will," she said.

Sensing I had been officially overruled, I kissed my wife, too. "I guess I can't stop you."

Rachel smiled for the first time that morning. "Don't worry about us, Liam. We'll be okay. I'm more concerned about you, trust me."

Liam and I got ready to go hunting. We hoped to find some quality animals out there. We'd been living too long on the vegetables and fruit that thankfully grew out in the field; meat would be a welcome change.

*****

The woods behind our property were thick and filled with deer. I was not opposed to venison, and hoped to God we found one today. I made my way over precarious roots and random deserted objects, listening as Nash munched on an orange and reminisced about a Yankee game we'd gone to years ago. It had been one of my first dates with Rachel and I dragged Nash along for some unknown reason.

"Man, do you remember how trashed I was?"

"Not really. I was pretty wasted, myself. I don't know why Rachel agreed to go out with me again."

"She's a special woman," he said.

I kept walking through the woods, but his words affected me. Jealousy flickered through my stomach, but the sensation didn't stay long. "She is. So is Lucy."

Nash grinned at me. "She's amazing. I told her about our conversation last night."

"She told me."

"She took it really well. Better than I expected." He paused and bent down to tie his shoelace. "Mind if we take a little break here? I want to eat something. The orange isn't cutting it."

He yanked out some snacks and we ate quietly. It was hotter than the day before and we were both sweating through our shirts.

"Liam?" I looked at Nash. He sat on a tree stump beneath some trees. I sat on a log a few feet away, but even from that distance, I could make out his uncomfortable expression and the flush on his cheeks. "Lucy and I talked about something else, too. Something I want to discuss with you."

"Okay."

"But you have to swear you're not going to get furious or run over here and strangle me or something. Can we agree to that?"

I thought about it for a second. "I don't think I'm going to like this, but okay."

Nash stood and paced in front of me. "Lucy told me she has feelings for you, too."

I didn't know what to say, so I stayed silent.

"She says she still loves me, of course, but that it's kind of torture being around you. I don't know what we should do about that."

I sighed and shook my head. There seemed to be no alternative to splitting up, as much as it pained me to leave them behind. It was safer for us together, but definitely not wiser anymore. "I think we're going to have to separate, man. I don't know what else to say."

"That's one option."

"What's another one?" I asked. "I don't see any other viable solution, here. Something is going to wind up happening that'll destroy us."

He sat on the log next to me and let out a heavy breath. "I'm willing to let you two get it out of your systems."

I wasn't sure I heard him right. "Excuse me?"

His eyes met mine. "Would you be willing to do the same? I think that's the only way this could work."

"What the fuck are you talking about?"

"Sharing."

"You mean, sharing our wives with each other?" I stared at him hard for a minute. "Are you fucking with me?"

He messed up his sandy hair. "Believe me, I know it sounds nuts, but I think it would be good for us. We've all been depressed and scared for months now and this might actually be a healthy choice."

I sneered. "Healthy? Are you crazy?"

"You promised not to freak, man."

"I promised not to strangle you. I might break that promise. You are talking about fucking my wife, Nash."

"And letting you fuck mine. Do you think that's easy for me? No way. But I thought about it all last night, and Lucy thinks it's the best idea, too."

I paced back and forth on the fallen leaves, my mind filled with a flurry of confusion. A thought occurred to me and I paused to stare at Nash, my mouth agape. "Is Lucy talking about this with Rachel right now?"

"Yup." Nash rested back on the stump and had the nerve to smile. "I have a feeling Rachel is going to need a lot of convincing, but if there is anyone who can do it, it's Lucy."

"Look, if Rachel doesn't want to do this, it's a no-go. Understand?"

Nash leaned forward and put his elbows on his knees, an intent look on his face. "Does this mean you're going along with it if she does?"

I thudded back onto the log, feeling miserable, but also elated. Thoughts of being with Lucy had plagued my mind for months. Was Nash right that getting her out of my system was the best course? I envisioned having her soft body under me, her plump lips whispering my name.

Nash snapped his fingers. "Stop fantasizing about my wife right in front of me and answer me question."

"This is seriously fucked, Nash."

"The world is seriously fucked, Liam. What can we do?"

*****

We didn't find any deer, but we found a squirrel. That would have to do. Already, my stomach growled as we made the long trek back to the house.

Then, one of them stepped out of the foliage, stupidly limping on one leg. The other had been gnawed off. It was a man, or used to be a man, of my height. Tatters of clothing, no longer distinguishable, clung to his decaying body. His red eyes glowing with hunger when he spotted us, and his teeth clicked and clacked as he snapped his mouth open and shut. Disgusting.

I lifted my gun, but Nash put his hand up. "Let's not attract any others."

He was right, of course. I wasn't thinking clearly. This was exactly why I thought the whole situation with Lucy and Rachel was a bad idea; we could no longer afford to get distracted.

Nash jutted his chin at the zombie and grabbed the bat from his bag. "I'll take care of him."

In one smooth movement, Nash ran toward the zombie and smashed his head in until he was a pile of nothing in the dirt. In the beginning, the sight would have disgusted me, but this was just one in a long line of deaths I'd witnessed. It didn't make it easier, but at least I wasn't throwing up anymore.

The first time I encountered a zombie, it tried to rip my arm off. Its teeth nearly punctured me, but Nash was on top of it, beating the ever living—or not living—shit out of it. He was the only one of the four of us who immediately went into survival mode and did what had to be done. It had hardened him, of course, it hardened us all, but he saved my life more times than I cared to think about because I wasn't sure how I could ever repay that.

It was then that I knew that if Rachel agreed, I would say yes. I loved these people and I owed them everything I had. Naturally, I wasn't being totally altruistic. I would also be having sex with a beautiful woman.

When Nash was finished cleaning off the bat and himself, I approached him. He looked at me warily, but said nothing. I waited a moment, then extended my hand. "You're like a brother to me."

"Okay. I feel the same way."

"The answer is yes, if Rachel says yes."

He shook my hand and smacked my bed. "This is really awkward and strange, so I don't entirely know what to say. 'Thanks' seems... inadequate."

"Maybe we should stop talking about it and let it be for now. I want to get back and check on them, and I'm beyond starving."

Rachel was nowhere to be found when we got home. Lucy was sprawled on the sofa, looking incredibly sexy in a soft-looking white dress she'd found when we moved into the place. She stood to hug her husband, then smiled at me. It was a sweet, friendly smile, and though I still felt wildly uncomfortable, it was nice to know we could still be like this.

"She's out back, thinking."

I tried to smile back, but a lump of nervousness stuck in my throat. "Thanks."

She was sitting on a rock, far out into the field behind the house.

She turned and looked at me as I walked toward her, not knowing what to expect. Her loose black hair swayed in the wind, and her expression gave nothing away.

I cleared my throat. "Nash spoke to me. I guess Lucy did the same with you."

Rachel looked away. "You know she did."

I sat on the rock next to her and took it as a good sign that she didn't make a move to pull away. I wrapped one arm around her and tugged her close to me. "I don't want you to agree to this if you don't want it."

She laughed, but tears streamed down her cheeks. "The thing is, I do. I feel like the biggest hypocrite. I'm so sorry, Liam. I gave you such a hard time about your dream, when the truth is I think about Nash, too. Not all the time, but enough. To be honest, I think I gave you such a hard time because I felt so guilty about my own crush." She wiped her face and flicked her eyes in my direction. "He wakes me up, you know. When I have nightmares."

"He told me."

"Sits up with me when I can't go back to sleep, too. He's a good man. I hate what this whole thing has done to him. He used to be so gentle, so easygoing. Now, he looks as frightening as the zombies do sometimes." She put her arm around my middle. "But at night, he's back to his old self. He's soft and understanding. I don't know when or how it happened, but I started wondering about him. When I saw the way you watched Lucy, I told myself not to feel too guilty about it, but it's been tearing me apart."

"Sweetheart," I whispered, kissing her hair. "Nash said it's natural and I'm starting to agree with him."

Her shaking hand caressed my cheek, and her eyes glittered with love. "So do I. I love you, Liam. You are more than enough for me, but I can't deny I have something tugging me toward Nash. That same thing is pulling you to Lucy."

"What if it fucks things up between us?" I asked, not sure I could survive it if that happened.

"We have to have faith it won't, and I really don't think it will. I love all of you. It will be okay."

She took my hand and led me back to the house where our friends waited.

*****

We ate our squirrel in an embarrassed but not altogether unpleasant silence. Lucy watched me from across the table, and Nash and Rachel's gazes were locked. Nash had been right; this was unavoidable.

"So," I started, figuring someone had to be the one to start this, "how do we... begin?"

Lucy nodded. "Right. Do we set some rules?"

We all thought for a minute. Then, Rachel shook her head. "I think the only rule is we promise not to share what happened with our spouses. I'm accepting the situation now but I don't need to know all the particulars."

"Definitely not," I agreed, the cleared my throat. "Is there a limit on this? Like, a certain amount of times"

"What do you mean?" my wife asked, looking adorably confused.

Lucy's grin was filthy. "He wants to know how many times he can fuck me."

"Or if this is just a one-time deal," Nash added. "We should probably hammer that out."

The women thought about it, smiling at one another. Then turned back to us.

"I think we would all be lying to ourselves if we said this was a one-time deal," Lucy said. "Wouldn't you agree, Rachel?"

Rachel blushed and looked at me. "Is that okay with you, Liam?"

"Of course," I said, trying not to sound too eager. Nash's grin told me I hadn't succeeded.

"Are we doing this tonight?" Nash asked, his eyes flicking toward Rachel with undisguised lust.

The women shrugged, but I could tell they were feeling restless, too. Lucy stared at me with the hunger I thought I'd seen in her eyes a few times over the past few months, and I almost sympathized with the ravenous desire the zombies must have felt when they saw us. I wanted to reach across the table and drag Lucy off somewhere. Truth be told, I wanted to take both women at the same time, but that seemed like a bridge to cross at a later time.

"I don't see why not," Lucy responded slowly, looking at Rachel to make sure she was okay with it.

"Let's do it," Rachel said, a wide smile on her face. "I can't believe we're going to do it, but let's do it!"

"Um, so, are we doing it in the same room?" Nash asked, a blush crawling its way up from his chest to his cheeks. It was amusing to see him uncomfortable.

Lucy shook her head wildly, a matching blush on her own face. "No. Not even in the same house. Liam and I will go outside and set up a little camp in the fields. We'll be fine."

The rest of us agreed with Lucy's plan. Seemed like the best option, at least for that night.

After we cleared away dinner and made sure our guns were loaded—we might have been distracted by the want we all felt one another, but we weren't stupid enough to completely let our guards down—Nash and I kissed our wives. Lucy whispered something to Nash, but I kept my attention on my wife.

"I love you, Rachel."

Her beautiful lips smiled. "Love you, too. We're going to be fine."

"I know," I said, feeling confident and at peace. Perhaps if it was someone else I was giving my wife to I would have felt more angst, but I trusted and loved Nash. If I wasn't around anymore, I would want Nash taking care of her. She was precious to me, but I knew she was now precious to him, too.

"I'll come back to you," she promised.

"I know," I repeated. She kissed me again, her hands running down my back. I shivered under her touch and she grinned against my mouth. "I told you that you turn me into a teenager."

She laughed and stepped back, giving me one last longing look. She spun on her heel and went upstairs, presumably to Nash's room. A slight twinge of something burned in my chest, but I ignored it. She was going to have a great night. We all were.

Nash was waiting for me by the door. We shook hands with each other, our eyes not quite meeting.

"You sure?" Nash asked. "This is the point of no return."

I hugged him for the first time in ages, then smacked his back. "I'm positive."

I walked out into the night, breathing in the fresh air. It was warm, but not humid. Lucy was waiting for me with a bunch of blankets and a tent.

"Help me set it up?" she asked.

We put the the tent together, then lit a fire. Her ethereal body lay on a blanket across the fire from me, flames alternately brightening her gorgeous features and casting shadows over her form. She was so beautiful that it made my chest ache. It was a different beauty from Rachel's; Rachel's attractiveness lay in her strong body, her fierce eyes, that bright smile. Everything about Rachel was robust, while Lucy's beauty was the kind that made you fear you might break her if you breathed on her.

I figured I should say something. "I have been attracted to you for ages."

A little smile flirted with her pink lips. "I know."

"You did?"

"You weren't exactly subtle." She laughed at my horrified expression. "Really, Liam, it's fine. Look how it's worked out."

"I'm trying not to freak, but this is still really weird for me. I haven't been with another woman in years."

"Let's not think about that." Her eyes penetrated mine. "Come over here."

I immediately obeyed, thinking she wasn't much different from a confident siren. When I sat beside her on the ground, however, I noticed she was shaking. "Are you nervous?"

"Terrified, but I'm more excited than anything. I've been lusting over you for a while, too."