Raw Ch. 07

Malcolm chuckled. "Is that all I have to do to get you to sound like that?"

My own laugh was muffled by the pillow. And it morphed into another moan as he sat on the bed and massaged my feet one by one.

When he was done, he undressed me and joined me under the covers. His body was warm next to mine, and I wanted to snuggle up closer, but I couldn't move. I sighed as he began to massage my back. When his hands began to roam to my sides and breasts, my insides began spiraling with arousal.

I whimpered. "I'd love to, but I think I'm too tired. I can barely blink."

"Shh, you don't have to do anything but lay there."

"Perfect." I was oozing romance. I knew it.

His hands played at the sides of my breasts for another moment before they grazed my sides, over my hips, and stroked my thighs. Then he slid them all of the way up my back and then down again so that he now cupped my cheeks. "You have such a beautiful body."

"Thank you." I smiled into the pillow.

He moved lower to my thighs. His thumbs slid back and forth, going deeper between them. Suddenly, he sat up and threw back the covers.

I shivered. But I didn't have time to think about being cold as he parted my legs and rested one hand on my ass. The other slid down over my pussy, his fingers gently rubbing back and forth. He avoided my clit, and as weary as I was, I tried pressing my groin against the mattress to get some pressure there.

His fingers dipped in and spread my wetness around. Teased but did not enter me. It was maddening. Then the bed shifted.

I flung my head back with a cry as I felt his cock press for entrance and then glide into me in one, long motion. In my state of being half-asleep, I wasn't sure if I was dreaming or not. But I didn't care as he slowly stroked in and out of me in this prone position. The pleasure wrapped around me, filling my head. My arms reached out, and I grasped the sheets.

"Taking you like this," he grunted as his knees straddled my legs, his fingers gripping my hips and his thumbs pressing into my lower back, "you're so tight. It feels so damn good."

Short cries came out of my mouth in gasps each time he entered fully and pulled back. I wanted to reach beneath me and rub my clit, but I was afraid to move. Afraid I'd wake up and break the spell. So I clenched my eyes shut and fell deeper into the dreamlike state where I could feel his cock filling me.

At one point, he paused, and I whimpered, calling his name. He shushed me as he adjusted his position. No longer resting on my legs, I felt his hands near my breasts, his thumbs barely grazing the sensitive sides. And then he began thrusting again.

In my muddled mind, I imagined him doing push ups over me, as with each inward movement with his cock, I felt the heat of his body against my back, ass, and calves. On his withdrawal, the sensation disappeared. After awhile, he shifted again and sat on the back of my thighs.

As he stroked now, he massaged my ass. His thumbs pulled and pushed my cheeks apart and then together. Over and over again.

He fell out once. I bit the pillow when he rubbed the tip of his cock back and forth against the length of my pussy, grazing over my clit twice, and then he drove back into me.

I don't know how long it went on, but eventually I came. Not as hard as I had hoped, which made me think I truly had been dreaming. But I felt the warmth of his body as he laid down over me and wrapped me in his arms and the covers. My last conscious thought was wondering if he had found release or just intense pleasure like I had.

I awoke the next day feeling like I should remember something important. Malcolm had left a note that he'd gone out early for his jog and wanted to let me sleep in. So I wandered the house, walking from room to room, looking for answers.

The tears started falling the moment I picked up a photo of Malcolm, myself, Drake, and Daphne at my party earlier this summer. The same party where I'd disappeared for almost two weeks. Sue had taken the picture right after I had opened a little plaque she'd had made for me commemorating the minor milestone in my writing career. She'd made me wear a tiny sombrero, and we were all laughing. I wondered where that little hat had gone.

Malcolm found me curled up on the oversized chair in my office, still sniffling from my crying spell.

"Becca?" He pried the frame from my hands and gathered me onto his lap. "Talk to me."

"I really don't know what to say." I ran the back of my hand under my nose and pressed my cheek to his chest. "I can't stop crying. What is wrong with me?"

"You don't remember?"

"That?" I pointed behind him, indicating the picture wherever he'd set it. "Of course I remember."

"No, sweetie. I think you were in shock yesterday. We'd had such a wonderful day. When you heard the news...well, I'm surprised you took it so well."

"What news?" I pushed away from him. "Am I pregnant? How would I have forgotten that? Much less that I took a test or went to the doctor?"

"God, no!"

My face must have reflected my unspoken horror to that kind of response because his own face was suddenly devoid of color.

He shook his head as he tried to backpedal. "Not that I wouldn't be happy to hear that news. I just don't think we're ready for that yet."

I made a mental note that we needed to revisit that topic. Soon. But for now... "Then what? What could possibly have happened that I would be in too much shock to remember?"

He took my hands and held them tight. "Becca, last night at the reception, Drake told you that he and Daphne were moving out of state."

I stared at him and blinked several times. "What the fuck did you just say?"

"I'm sorry, sweetie." He brushed a strand of hair behind my ear, his hand remaining there to cup the side of my head as his thumb caressed my cheek. "He is leaving."

"You're wrong." I shook my head and pressed my fists to his chest, pushing as he pulled me to him again. "He can't leave me. I need him."

"I know. I know." Malcolm kissed my head and rocked me until I felt like all of my strength had drained away along with my tears.

I couldn't imagine my life without my brother. I knew he wasn't dead or dying, but it felt the same. Sure, Alexander was still only a couple of hours away, but we didn't have the bond that I had with Drake. Especially these last two years since I'd embraced a similar lifestyle as he did.

Who would I lean on? Who would I talk to? And if Drake was leaving, Daphne was as well, which meant I'd be losing my new sister-in-law. My support when it came to questions on submission.

As if reading my thoughts, Malcolm said, "You still have me."

I wrapped my arms around his neck and nuzzled my head under his chin. "I know. I'm sorry."

"It's okay." He let out a deep sigh. "This is how I expected you to react. Not all jumping up and down, clapping and smiling and hugging everyone, wishing them the best."

I leaned back and raised an eyebrow. "Seriously? I did that?"

"You'd had quite a bit to drink," he laughed and nodded. "You're not a cold-hearted person. But hearing news like that? We expected...well, tears and begging. When you didn't do that, we were all very concerned. Your brother made me promise to make sure you were okay."

"I will be. Eventually."

"I know you will. You're a strong, independent woman."

"Oh, shut up," I mumbled against his shoulder.

He kissed me on the lips and helped me stand up. "Now, how about we get some lunch? I think we should both get some nourishment before I take you upstairs and ravage you senseless."

I screeched as he chased me out of the room, his hands groping my ass.

###

I had my calendar marked for when Drake and Daphne were leaving. I cried every time I put another red X on a square. We had just this weekend, and then they'd be gone on Monday. We'd thrown them a going-away party last Sunday after they'd returned from their weeklong honeymoon in Hawaii. I couldn't believe another week had almost passed.

When Malcolm had said "out of state," he really meant it. They were going all the way to California. Drake had been offered a promotion at his advertising agency, but he had to relocate to accept it. The move was actually good for Daphne, too, as she'd have opportunities to pursue more lucrative modeling jobs on the West Coast. All in all, I was happy for them.

But as I'd helped them pack during the past four days, a deep depression set in like I'd never experienced. I knew I would see him again. He promised to return for Christmas—which was less than two weeks away—and they'd extended an invitation for Malcolm and I to fly out to spend New Year's with them. Yet I felt a part of me was being ripped out and couldn't be replaced.

I lay awake in bed Friday morning. Alone. Although I'd weaned Malcolm from staying with me until I woke up now that it had been seven months from my kidnapping ordeal, I'd wished he'd stayed with me today. I was losing my big, kinky brother, and I wanted all of the emotional support I could get as I wallowed in self-pity. I only felt slightly pathetic.

I found a note that Malcolm was running errands and would bring back lunch. I wanted to keep to my routine, so I found myself at my desk. But I just stared at my laptop. For the life of me, my mind was as blank as the page before me. I tried doing some proofreading, but none of the words on the page made sense, so I shut down the program without saving any changes. I was contemplating going upstairs to just crawl back into bed when my cell phone buzzed that I had a new text.

Daphne's name appeared with the message, "You're not busy tonight, are you?"

I choked back a sob. I was going to miss these impromptu requests to go out with my new sister-in-law. My bestie, if adults could have those. I texted back, "He hasn't said if we have plans. And I'm bored as hell right now."

"Good!"

"Good that I'm bored or good that I have no social life since I moved here?" I added, "Especially since you're moving across the country," but I deleted the addendum before tapping the button to send the message. It wasn't her fault they were moving, and she'd said several times these last few days about how horrible she felt for them leaving me.

There was a swooshing sound as her answer came through. "LOL Stop it. It's good that you're free tonight. I'll be at your house in 30."

I shook my head and pressed the main button to put the phone to sleep.

"Your house." My house. Our house. I let out a big sigh.

Daphne arrived half-an-hour later, and by the way her eyes sparkled when I opened the front door, she had some big news. I prayed that they had changed their minds about leaving, but I knew I couldn't be that lucky. And if she was pregnant...

I closed the door and turned to watch her as she went into the open kitchen, retrieved a mug, removed a box of tea from a cupboard, and then set a kettle to boil on the stove. I didn't even know Malcolm owned a kettle. Why didn't I feel that comfortable in this house yet?

"So when are you going to tell me why you're so chipper?"

She leaned on the lunch counter. "We're having my bachelorette party tonight."

I laughed and took a seat across from her. I shook off the feeling of déjà vu—her at home in this kitchen, me the newbie getting advice. "I could be wrong, but didn't you already get married? You're not longer a bachelorette. And you said you didn't want one, so I didn't throw you one."

She waved her hand in the air. "I changed my mind. I'm a woman. I can do what I want."

"Don't let my brother hear you say that!"

Her eyes widened for the briefest moments as she froze, then she smiled and said, "Well, consider it my last night of freedom."

I laughed. I could play along. "So what do you have planned on such short notice?"

"A little road trip into the city. We'll take my car." She reached out and grasped one of my hands between hers. "But the rest is a surprise."

"Now you have me intrigued. And possibly a little scared."

"Don't be scared. You'll enjoy it."

"I thought this was your bachelorette party? I'm not the one who's engaged."

"Not yet," she said with a wink.

"Whatever." I tried not to think about that topic too much. I was afraid it would jinx my relationship with Malcolm, and I was happy with our current circumstances. For now.

She finished doctoring her cup of tea and then started across the living room. When I didn't follow, she glanced back over her shoulder. "Aren't you coming?"

"Where?"

"To pick out what you're going to wear."

Sometimes, my head hurt from trying to figure her out. Today was one of those days. The fact that it would probably be the last one for a long time popped to the front of my thoughts. I shook my head and joined her as she went upstairs to my new bedroom.

We spent at least an hour trying on different combinations of tops and bottoms. Or rather I was the one trying on the clothes. When we were done, there were two piles on the bed: one huge and full of discards, the other small with possibilities. Literally. There were only two options for a top and one for a bottom. I hated to find out what her opinion would be if I let her choose my underwear for tonight.

"Are you telling me you don't like my style?" I fingered the tight, black pants she'd laid out beside me. "Out of my entire wardrobe, this is all you think is suitable for tonight?"

"Not at all. You've expanded your closet quite well since you started dating Malcolm."

"But?"

"No butts." She picked up one of the top options, if you could even call it that. "It's a special occasion. I want you to feel comfortable but also sexy."

"And you think that that top gives off the impression that the wearer is comfortable? It practically screams prostitute! I don't think it's even been out of the closet. See, the tags are still on it."

"What better time to break it in than tonight?" She held up the black material by the barely-there straps. It was mostly just a front panel with a halter strap around the neck and two strings that tied around the mid-section. The light glimmered off the silver flower decals surrounding two Chinese letters. "Put it on. I want to see."

I rolled my eyes but took the scrap of fabric from her. She would see in a second why I'd never worn it. Hell, I couldn't even remember why I'd bought it!

I popped into the bathroom, yanked off my T-shirt and bra, and managed to put the "top" on without dying of laughter. Then I strutted back into the bedroom with my hands out, a stupid grin on my face, and said, "Ta da!"

Her eyes widened, and she clapped her hands. "It's perfect!"

"Oh, shit." I mumbled and put my hands on my hips when she circled her finger in the air. I turned around and let out a deep sigh.

The thing I was wearing revealed my entire backside and was supposed to stop just above my bellybutton in the front. But with my ample chest—which the fabric barely covered—the bottom hem landed much higher up, making the top look more like half of a tube top.

Daphne laid back, supporting herself with her forearms. "What do the symbols mean?"

I shrugged. "Probably 'fuck me.' It would be my luck."

Our eyes met, and we both laughed so hard tears were running down our faces in a matter of seconds.

When I could speak again, I asked, "Can I at least try the other one on?"

"Yes, I was just kidding anyway. I would never have let you out of the house in that." She tossed me the second top along with a big grin, and I returned to the bathroom to change, shaking my head.

I felt much more comfortable in the navy, baby-doll shirt. And I felt sexy. It had spaghetti-straps and a plunging neckline that showed off my girls. In fact, the bustier part of the top was overlaid with navy lace. The Lycra skirt of the top hung down just past my pelvis in the front and my ass in the back. If I hadn't found it in the regular clothes section of the store, I would have thought it was lingerie.

When I came out of the bathroom this time, Daphne started crying again. She had her hands pressed to her cheeks.

"Don't tell me you don't like it." I did a slow turn, trying to catch a glimpse in the dresser mirror of how it looked in the back.

"No, I love it." She stood and gave me a hug. "You look amazing."

"Uh, thanks." I hugged her back. We really did need this one last hurrah. "Do you think I could wear something else with this, though? It is December."

She wiped away her tears and nodded. "Fine, but you have to wear the black leather jacket with the silver grommets. Oh, and your black boots."

"Yes, Ma'am."

Daphne disappeared into my closet, assumedly to search out the two items.

I'd texted Malcolm to bring back enough lunch for three. Daphne and I took off to the city after we put away the rest of my wardrobe and ate. We made a pit stop at my condo to get ready where I allowed her to curl my hair and do my makeup after she had insisted. I felt like a Barbie doll, and here she was the model. But she wasn't looking too bad herself in a red, mini-skirt dress with a corseted top, and thigh-high black boots, her hair in a low ponytail. Very sleek and runway ready.

Once I'd passed her inspection, we took a cab downtown to a popular bar where we had a couple of drinks. It was a little odd, this unexpected after-the-wedding bachelorette party. But she seemed to be enjoying herself as she swayed in her seat to the heavy base from a DJ, her eyes closed and a smile turning up the corners of her dainty mouth.

I had just finished my cocktail and was going to order another round when she tugged on my hand.

"We gotta go!"

"Already?" I tried to check my watch, but she was already at the door. We were in the backseat of a cab before I could take a deep breath. "What was that all about?"

"Don't want to be late. We have a schedule to keep." Daphne rattled off an address to the driver and then sat back with a heavy sigh. The window beside her went down a couple of inches, and she turned to me with a smile. "Are you enjoying yourself?"

"Shouldn't I be asking you that question? It's your party." I cocked an eyebrow at her, and she laughed as we passed under a streetlight.

"You look so serious."

"Mostly curious."

She grinned. "Just relax."

The traffic thinned out as we headed north of the city and into a more residential area. I laid my head back and stared out my own window, shivering a little from the winter breeze drifting in from her side of the car. Relax? I'd try to. But this whole day was just so confusing.

I was lost in my thoughts and hadn't realized we'd stopped until Daphne was nudging me to slide out of the car. She paid the driver and scooted out after me. I followed her up a short sidewalk to a Victorian-style house all lit up against the night sky. The rest of the street was mostly dark with only a few cars in sight. A sense of dread slid up my back as the cab pulled away, leaving us standing there alone in a strange neighborhood.

"Where are we?" I resisted the urge to grab her hand.

"A surprise."

I rolled my eyes and rubbed my hands up and down my arms to stay warm.

We ascended the steps to the porch, and the front door to the house opened a minute after Daphne rang the doorbell. She gave a man our names, and he said something about going straight to the last door on the right.

The light from inside was bright, and I blinked several times as my eyes tried to acclimate to the change. When I didn't move, Daphne took my elbow and guided me through the house to wherever God knew we were going. I think we passed through a living room and a kitchen. By the time I could see clearly again, we were descending to a lower level.

We'd barely hit the last step when I heard it. The repetitive taps of the closed hi-hat between the snicks of the snare drum under the Gregorian chants. They all wrapped around my head and crept through my veins like ice.