Reducing Carbon Footprints

"Whether it is plant or animal, those who have any doubts that the planet is not being slowly destroyed just have to come to Alaska to see what pollution is doing to the air, the forest, and the ocean. The proof is all here. The beauty and the majesty that took millions of years to create are now in a state of flux and irreversible decline. The icecaps are melting, the rain forests are disappearing, animals and plants befall extinction daily because of the destruction that a few white, old men have done and continue to have the power to do," said Mortimer to whoever would listen.

Only, the ones who listened were powerless to do anything about global warming. They were people like him, powerless and without influence. We all agree in principal that our planet needs protection from people intent on polluting it, only we don't know how to go about it and, even if we did, we don't have the political clout to enforce it. Except for the stories we read in National Geographic and those television specials we catch on national news reports, few of us have first hand knowledge of the devastation man has done. Those of us who complain and write to our representatives in congress, our voices are lost to lobbyists. Those who claim to serve us as public officials are merely holding office to line their pockets at the expense of the planet.

The older he became and the longer he stayed in the wilderness, the less he ventured out to socialize with anyone human. Only, the less he ventured out to mingle with people the more twisted he became. Content to live his life in solitude, he'd rather spend his days with nature and experience the natural order of things. Rather than to feel the frustration and the out of control feeling that he had whenever he talked to an accountant or attorney or executive or developer who worked for banks, insurance, oil, logging or real estate development companies, he'd rather talk to the animals in the forest.

"You fools have no conscience," he routinely said to himself when walking away from those who polluted his forest. He wished he could just shoot them and bury them out in the middle of nowhere.

He watched her boyfriend put down a blanket in the crock of two trees. They were both still naked. She found her place beside him on the blanket and he had the perfect view of her between her legs. They started making out again and touching one another everywhere. After only a few minutes he got up, went inside the tent, and returned with some ropes and a scarf.

"Fuck me! No way, be still my heart," he said for no one to hear.

Mortimer knew what they were going to do next, only he couldn't believe it.

"I can't believe he's going to tie her up and she's allowing him to do it. Wow, that's always been my fantasy to tie up a woman and to have my way with her. He's such a lucky bastard to have a woman like that."

He watched him tie her wrists to the trees, first one and then the other, as she giggled with the delight of a Japanese school girl. Next, he pounded two tent stakes in the ground by her ankles and tied her legs to those, too. Her legs were wide open and Mortimer had the perfect view of her pussy. Finally, he tied the scarf around her eyes. Obviously, by her excitement, this wasn't the first time they had played this game. In the way she was so receptive to it, this looked like it was her fantasy.

Then, the man went back inside the tent and returned with a small jar of honey. Mortimer watched the man lovingly wipe honey all over his sweetheart's naked body.

"Oh, my God, I'd do anything to lick that honey off her beautiful body. I love honey. There's only one thing I love more than honey and that's a naked, beautiful woman and there's only one thing that I love more than a naked, beautiful woman and that's a naked, beautiful woman lathered in honey. Fuck me," he said while rubbing the head of his cock through his uniform pants.

She was giggling and laughing with glee. He imagined she must love the feel of honey oozing all over her naked body and filling every one of her pores, crevices, and cavities with its thick, rich sweetness. He imagined the man was tickling more than her fancy while wiping the honey all over her with his hand. She had honey everywhere, on her tits, her thighs, her pussy, and even on her face. He wished he could hear what they were saying, but they were too far away and he didn't want to be seen and prematurely stop their erotic fun, when, obviously, it was just beginning to heat to a sizzling inferno.

Maybe, later, he thought, once they were both in orgasmic pleasure, he'd sneak closer to make his presence known. She'd still be tied and he'd have the perfect view of her naked body while her boyfriend struggled to untie her and she struggled to cover her nakedness. Yeah, maybe later, he'd let them know that he had been watching her and that he had seen...everything.

She was giggling with such girlish delight that he knew that they must have done this routine before. Mortimer figured the man would lick the honey from her naked body before going down to the lake to wash off, but he disappeared inside the tent again.

"Where'd he go? What the Hell is he doing?"

Mortimer flashed the binoculars from her to the tent and back again. Only, this time, when he finally reappeared, he was fully dressed. Show is over. What happened? Quickly, he trained the binoculars back on her. She was still tied to the tree, still dripping with honey, and still naked. What is he doing? Did she say something to piss him off? Surely, he's not going to leave her there like that.

"What the fuck?"

Suddenly, the woman went from giggling to struggling against her ties. He watched the man, pack up his possessions, get in his SUV, and start the engine. She was screaming at him and he was leaving without her. He was leaving her alone there to fend for herself. How could he do that? Why would he do that? Drenched in all that honey, it'd only be a matter of time before a bear would smell her, find her, and mistake her for food.

Mortimer waited a few minutes while watching to see if the man would return. He could see from the plume of dirt that the man was heading for the main road. He watched him drive further and further away until he disappeared in the dense trees. He returned his focus to her and watched her through his binoculars desperately struggling against her ties to free herself. Back and forth, he trained his binoculars on her and then her boyfriend driving away. Her boyfriend had disappeared from view entirely. He was gone.

He had taken all her clothes. I guess he figured she wouldn't need them. Now, she was crying, screaming for help, and struggling against the ropes. There was no one this far back out here in the woods by her and him. No one could hear her. Nervous, anxious, and excited, Mortimer waited a long fifteen minutes watching for the return of her boyfriend. Maybe, he forgot something, whipped cream or condoms and was going to buy it at the store. Still, he wouldn't leave her screaming like he had. After a while, when it was apparent that her boyfriend wasn't coming back, he approached her.

His father, a big fan of Edgar Bergan, thought he was funny when he named his son Mortimer. Named after the famed ventriloquist's puppet, Mortimer was no dim witted dummy. He had a master's degree in Forestry Science and wanted to earn a Ph. D. and would have had his girlfriend not broken off their engagement and changed the road of his life forever. Yet, ever since he was a boy, he had to endure the teasing of everyone, even his friends and relatives over his name. The love of his life, Cynthia Larkin, when they started getting serious, dumped him after accepting his marriage proposal.

"I just can't see myself marrying you and carrying the name of Cynthia Snerd. I hated the thought of having a brood of little Snerds."

Her rejection of him was one of Mortimer's defining moments. He was devastated and the deep pain of rejection and lost love that he felt from the loss of her twisted him. He didn't want anyone else but her and when she married another, he disappeared in his work and in the forest. After being jilted by the woman they loved, where some men try another filly, get back on the horse and play the field, some men turn to religion and give their lives to the God, while still others turn to alcohol, drugs, or even suicide. Mortimer immersed himself in Forestry Science, in the service of the forestry, and later lost himself within the lush wilderness of Alaska.

Living so much like Theodore Kaczynski, the Unabomber, his rage against the political pirates and profiteers of the world manifested itself into a perverse obsession of getting even by righting the wrongs of the few rich and powerful who ruined the lives so many. He turned the rejection he felt from Cynthia's love lost to hatred and he directed that hostility to those who helped destroy the planet. He decided that not only would he rather not have children than to put his kids through the teasing of having the last name of Snerd but also he didn't want his children to live in such a polluted world, a world fouled by greed, corruption, and pollution.

Even if he changed his name, he'd still be left with his buck teeth, red hair, big ears, and freckles. He looked like a cross between Howdy Doody and Alfred E. Newman with the thin, wiry body of Don Knott's character Barney Fife. The older and crazier he became the more his physical characteristics developed and reflected what his inner self became. He looked a bit like a cartoon character.

Becoming a vegetarian, he became thinner, which made his ears look even bigger and with living through the harsh winters, along with his weight loss, his face developed the deep knurled wrinkles of an oak tree. He didn't bother cutting his hair. Allowing it to grow without brushing it, he just tied it and tucked it beneath his hat. It didn't take him long to get the idea of growing a full beard, yet instead of adding to his appearance of a mountain man, with his gaunt appearance, long hair, and scraggly beard, he looked more like how Howard Hughes looked in his later years, had he moved to the forest and lived in the wilderness, instead of holding up in the top floor of a Vegas hotel.

"Hello? Who's there? Is there someone there?" Her voice was filled with fright. He could see her, but from his distance walking through the dense forest, she couldn't see him. She couldn't see him anyway, she was still blindfolded. He stepped from the forest to the cleaning. In the way that she struggled and with the look of fear on her face, he knew that she was thinking that he was a bear.

"It's okay," he said calling out to her. "I'm a Forest Ranger."

"Oh, thank God. Please, can you help me? Please, untie me. I'm so embarrassed. Please don't look me. Please don't look at my nakedness."

There was desperation in her voice. She was on the verge of crying again. He loved the sound of her voice. It was so sweet. How could her boyfriend do this do her? Why would he do such a thing? She was so strikingly beautiful, exquisite in every way. How could he not appreciate having such a beautiful girlfriend?

"Hi," he said stepping still closer to get a close up view of her spectacular naked body. He stared at her before reaching down and pulling off her blindfold. She did a double take, no doubt, by the gargoyle like appearance of him.

"Hi," she said with a smile of embarrassment. "My asshole husband left me here. I'm so embarrassed. Please don't look at me."

"You want me not to look at you? I'm sorry, lady, but I can't," he said with a leering laugh. "You're naked and you're so beautiful. It isn't every day that I come across a beautiful, naked woman tied to two trees."

"Please, untie me," she said pulling against her ties.

She involuntarily moved her wrists and attempted to close her thighs, as if trying to cover her nakedness, but she was still tied to the trees and tied to the stakes and really couldn't move much more than a few centimeters.

"Why would he do this to you?"

"Why? That's the million dollar question; actually, that's the fifty million dollar question." She looked at him with her big, blue eyes and smiled a sad smile.

"I don't understand," said Mortimer.

"I'm rich and he's not. Everyone warned me about him. Everyone told me not to marry him. I thought they were just jealous. Now that he did this to me, his plan is obvious."

"Plan? What do you mean?"

"He'll tell everyone that we were playing our game of bondage again, which all of our friends know we play, because he made sure he told everyone at the last dinner party we had. I was so embarrassed. He told all my friends that I love being stripped naked and tied to the bed while he does whatever he wants to my naked body, the sick bastard."

"So, a lot of people do that. I mean, I don't know anyone who does that, but I'm sure a lot of people are into bondage. Actually, it's a fantasy of—"

"Well, this is a bit different, don't you think, tying me to the trees, covering me with honey, and leaving me way the fuck out here alone in the forest to die? I'm sure he'll say that a bear scared him off before he could untie me. Then, with me out of the way, he'd inherit all that I have. It's a perfect crime."

"I see," said Mortimer never removing his eyes from her nakedness. "Only, he never expected a Forest Ranger stumbling upon you."

"Yes, I'm sure he figured we were far enough out in the wilderness that we'd be alone and that I not be discovered until it was too late," she said with a sad, little laugh. "Now, I understand why he didn't want to camp in the campgrounds," she said making eye contact with him. "Oh, please untie me. I'm so embarrassed. Please don't look at my nakedness. This is so humiliating."

"What's your name?"

"My name? Sam, Samantha."

"Hi, I'm Morty."

"Hi Morty. Now, please, can you untie me?"

"Untie you? You've got to be kidding. This is my fantasy come true."

He was not an attractive man to begin with and in the way he looked now, a bit crazy, added a new definition to his character. It was obvious that he had lived alone for too long in the forest and those things, such as global warming, pollution, and greed were things out of his control and things that he could not change that further defined his lunacy. In spite of his scary appearance and the unbalanced nature of his mind, nonetheless, he was a man with a mission. The mission that he accepted today was to get back at all those who fouled the planet.

The peace he received living alone as a Forest Ranger in Alaska's vast wilderness was from the grounds he patrolled that were unpolluted and unspoiled by humans. He loved the mostly pristine landscape, the part of the country that was still untouched by oil drilling and logging companies. What he loved the best was walking out on his front porch in the early morning while surveying the landscape and drinking his hot, black coffee. He bonded with the forest. Hearing the birds and feeling the cool morning chill woke him up more than did the coffee.

Just as he loved living alone, he loved nature. He was at home here. The forest is where he belonged. He intimately knew every trail and every tree. Spending 35-years of his life here, he knew more grizzly bears by name, names that he had given them, than he did people. The only time he went to town was to buy supplies and that was once a month. Instead of buying things he didn't need or didn't really want, he learned long ago to wear it out, make do with what he had or to live without.

In a remote part of the landscape, huge cedar, redwood, spruce, birch, and cottonwood trees blocked communication tower signals necessary for radio, television, Internet, and cell phone transmissions. Even the satellites signals were obstructed by the density of the lush forest. His only connection with civilization was the huge antenna that peeked above the tree tops and that he installed on his roof for his short wave radio. When he went to town, Sally, the store clerk saved up newspapers for him and he returned home with a box full of newspapers and magazines to catch him up on what was happening in the world. Because of the storm that hit and that knocked his antenna down and that he was unable to get it reinstalled, it was three weeks before he learned who was elected the new President of the United States.

With all things considered, even though he was without a woman in his life or anyone for that matter, life was good for Mortimer. Content to be alone, he was living his life the way he wanted to live it and how many other people can say that about how they live their lives?

Living high atop a mountain range in his one room log cabin, a house he proudly tells everyone he knows and anyone he meets that he built himself, the only time he had to come back down to earth from his house perched high atop the mountain and/or from his forest fire warning tower was to go into town to buy supplies. Where some who lived alone looked forward to going to town, he dreaded it and went out of his way to go at a time when there'd be less people to bump into. He'd rather not have a conversation if he didn't have to have one.

"You know, it's not a good idea to spread honey all over you body like that," he said to Samantha while staring at her nakedness. "This is bear country. There are black bears, brown bears, Kodiak bears, grizzly bears, and even polar bears have been known to wonder up in the northwestern section of the forest in search of food. Bears, unless they are hibernating, are always hungry. Much like dogs, they can't eat enough and they love honey. They can smell it as far as two miles away and a polar bear can smell a rotting whale carcass as far as twenty miles."

"Please," she said looking around in panic. "Untie me."

"You must understand, Miss, I mean, Samantha. Do you prefer Sam or Samantha?"

"Everyone calls me Sam and now that you've seen every part of me, you may call me Sam, too."

"I've been alone for a long time, Sam. I'm lonely and to see a woman, a naked woman, a beautiful, naked woman at that, well, any man would have to be gay to resist you and to not take full advantage of this opportunity," said Mortimer unbuckling and unzipping his pants.

"Resist me? What do you mean? What opportunity? Wait! Please, no. Oh, dear God, please, don't. What are you doing?"

"Don't worry. I'll lick the honey off your body first before I fuck you and then after you blow me, I'll untie you, find you some clothes to wear, and give you a ride back where you can call someone to pick you up."

"No, please don't. I beg you. Please stop. Just untie me. You must untie me. Listen, Mort, I'm rich. I'll give you money. More money than you can imagine. However much you want, I'll give you. I'm really very rich, which is why I'm in this predicament. Just untie me. Okay? Please?"

"Sorry, but I don't need your money. I'd much rather have my fun with you. Which would you prefer that I cum in your pussy or in your mouth?"

"What? Oh, God. Please, no. They'll fire you from your job when they find out that a Forest Ranger raped me."

"Fire me from my job? It doesn't matter," laughed Mortimer. "They plan on laying me off, unless I take their offer of early retirement."

"You can't do this. You'll go to prison for rape."

"I'll be dead long before it comes to trial. I've just been diagnosed with terminal cancer."

"Tell me what I can do for you not to rape me."

"You can answer me one question."

"Anything, just ask it of me."

"Tell me, Sam, do you want me to cum in your pussy or in your mouth?"

"Oh, God, I'd rather you not cum in me at all. Just untie me," she said struggling against the ropes.

"Which do you prefer, pussy or mouth, Sam?"

"Oh, God, if you must, in my mouth."