Reversal

No dialog. (almost)

Lots of questions.

This is a re-post of a 2009 story that has been lengthened and re-edited.

*

She was trying to be inconspicuous in her own bathroom. It would have been easier for her to just wait until I was out of the house, but I could tell she was anxious. This was going to be so interesting.

Twenty-three years ago, after the birth of our third child, I got a vasectomy. It was something Debra insisted upon. Now the kids had long left home and we were enjoying life as a "young" couple again. Things were fine until about six months ago when I found some condoms in Debra's purse.

We had a good marriage. I had a great job and was able to support the family well. Debra never had to work. As the kids got older she started to do some volunteer things to fill her time. Our daughter married at a young age, one son joined the Navy, and the youngest boy became a brick mason.

[]---[]

It wasn't hard to verify my suspicions, but I couldn't figure out how to handle the problem. When I remembered that my wife was raised to be a good Catholic girl, things became a bit clearer.

Robert Benson was a family friend. Over the last ten years or so, Bob and his wife Carmen got together with Debra and me regularly. We went to the theater, sports events, and picnics and even took a few vacations together. I had never noticed anything between Debra and Robert that I would have considered inappropriate or suggestive. It must have happened when I wasn't paying attention. Robert and Carmen had two kids.

My relationship with Debra had never changed. Her daily routine, grooming, and personal habits had never varied. Our sex life had not changed at all; nothing new and nothing off the table. She was not snippy or argumentative. Since we both trusted each other with no reservations, it was no trouble at all to tap into her phone. Surprisingly there were very few conversations between Carmen and my wife. The ones that they did have were all regular housewife/neighbor-type discussions. There was nothing out of the ordinary. However, that is where it ended.

She did clear out her history regularly, but I was still able to put enough together to determine that they had been seeing each other for almost a year and that Carmen was not aware of it. I made a mental note to have a conversation with Carmen at a later date.

The vasectomy had been all Debra's idea. I would have been happy having two or three more kids. Of course, I would have wanted them ten or fifteen years ago.

[]---[]

The original vasectomy only took twenty minutes, but the reversal took close to an hour. The doctor declared it to be a success, six weeks later. That was two months ago. I still had the sperm count of a twenty-year-old.

I sat at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee, waiting. There was no mistaking the worried look on her face as she sat down across from me. I knew it would only be a matter of time until she was forced to buy a pregnancy test kit. In her mind, she knew that I could not possibly be the father. Now, she was going to have to explain to me how she got herself in a family way.

I was waiting with a big smile on my face as she tried to make herself comfortable.

"Donald, we have to talk."

EPILOG:

The big question here is 'What the hell was I thinking?'

Where do I go from here?

Do I keep her or let her go?

Since it is my kid, am I stuck here?

Do I tell her I am the father or let her hang?

Do I tell Carmen?

How am I going to deal with Bob?

Did I shoot myself in the foot?

Should I try and convince her that Bob is the father?

Should I disappear into the sunset?

Should I seduce Carmen? Can I?

What if it really is Bob's?

Why didn't I just poke some holes in the condoms?

Do I really want to stay married?

Is Amy Winehouse really dead?

In all fairness, you really only have to answer ten of the above questions. If you get half of them right you are eligible to apply for a Mensa membership.