Rhythm Of The Rain

We went to the movies on Saturday and cut the date a little short because Shannon had something to do early the next day. I didn't want the evening to end, but I did get my first good night kiss. I know the "player" was excited about one little kiss. So sue me, it was special to me.

I had been attracted to Shannon from the first time I saw her but I wasn't struck by "love at first sight". Our lunch dates, the Saturday coffee meetings and the few dates we had allowed "love" to infiltrate my mind. I was more than half way in love with Shannon. And I was a loss as how to handle it; I had never been in love before.

We had been dating for two months, two to three times a week; this figure didn't include the lunches two times a week. Shannon and I were spending a lot of time together and from my point of view it wasn't enough. The more we talked and laughed, the more I realized that she was a special person.

Nothing was ever said about us being exclusive or "going steady" but that's what we were doing. Neither of us dated other people and from my side I had no wish to. The more I thought about Shannon the more I realized how much I cared for her. So I decided to do something I had never done before, I was going to talk to her about officially becoming exclusive with each other.

THEN THE DEVIL CAME BACK TO TOWN.

In this case the devil was Jake Robinson. Jake was a year or two older than me and was the same type of "player" that I had been before I met Shannon. He was tall at 6 feet 2, body rock solid, and about 200 pounds. In addition he had the "All American Guy" type good looks. And last but not least, Jake had money; I mean spend whatever you want and don't worry about it type of money. God, I really disliked the arrogant ass hole.

He had left Denver to take a job out of state, Texas I believe, and now he was back after about a year away. Jake and I had a "history" between us. We often would make a play for the same girl; sometimes he won and sometimes I won. We had an unfriendly rivalry, if you know what I mean. That rivalry changed from unfriendly to hatred about a month before Jake left town.

I had never tried to "save my relationship" with a girl if Jake stole her away from me. Shine her on and get another one was my response. I thought if she was dumb enough to fall for Jake's line then she deserved him. Sometimes I would "win" a lady from Jake; I didn't plan it that way I just made a run at a lady that I wanted. If she had been dating Jake so much the better.

One of us would make a remark to the other than "I'm one up on you now" or something along those lines. There was never any real animosity between us, just a mutual dislike. That's the way it was until Jake started after Sandy. Yeah, my friend Pete's girlfriend, now fiancée, Sandy.

Sandy and I had dated a couple of times but realized that we were better as friends than as lovers. We would go to a club or bar and were basically each other's "wing man". She wasn't like a sister to me but a very good friend.

Anyway, Jake made a run at Sandy and took her out a couple of times. He was just about to seal the deal as they say when I stepped in. I warned Sandy about him and told her a couple of stories about Jake and girls that she knew. Sandy shut Jake down and in a very public manner too.

When Jake found out that I was the one that threw a wrench into his plans, he wasn't a happy camper. He confronted me one night as I was leaving Rock Bottom Brewery. Jake ranted and raved at me and I answered him by saying, "Glad I could help out, ass hole." That's when he hit me.

Jake was 4 inches taller and 30 pounds heavier that me and I should have just laid there on the ground and let him walk away. But when he hit me or when I hit the ground the stupid switch in my head must have been turned on. I got up and tore into Jake. It wasn't the worst beating I ever got, but it was close. However, I was actually proud of myself because I had helped and defended a friend.

A few nights later I had Pete meet Sandy and me at the Brewery and introduced my two best friends to each other. Jake saw them together and gave me a hard look and I responded by giving him the finger. Shortly after that he left town. It's probably a good thing that he left when he did; things would have gotten ugly if he and I continued to butt heads.

Now he was back and from the looks of it he returned to his getting as many girls as possible. Jake never had a chance to try and take one of my girls because I was dating just one lady, Shannon. Because of Shannon I never thought about trying to take one of Jake's ladies. I had the one I wanted and didn't need anyone else.

Shannon and I were still hot and heavy with our dating, if not with our sex life. We fooled around a little but never got beyond the heavy petting stage and I was taking a lot of cold showers. I had never waited this long before getting a woman into my bed so it was a new experience for me but I was willing to wait for Shannon.

She was more than just a beauty. Shannon was intelligent, funny, and we both enjoyed a lot of the same things. Our dates consisted of more than just going out to a bar or dance club. For example we had gone to a couple of concerts at the Red Rocks Amphitheater.

We rode the Cog Railroad to the top of Pikes Peak, and then walked around looking at the shops in Manito Springs which is at the base of the mountain. Georgetown was another old town that we visited and I bought Shannon a pair of earrings from one of the shops there.

She was a little afraid of my Harley at first, but became an avid fan. We made a lot of day trips into the mountains on my bike. I gave her lessons on riding and she talked about getting her own bike. All of these dates and sharing experiences allowed me fall in love with Shannon. For the first time in my life I was in love.

One Friday evening as we parked in front of her apartment, I heard the four words that every man dreads.

"We need to talk," Shannon stated.

Oh hell, I'm not going to like this I thought. "About what?" I answered as I felt a very cold hollow feeling in my stomach.

"I like you very much John, maybe I'm even falling in love with you. But I think we need to slow down a little. I think we need to take a partial time out."

"A partial time out?" What the hell was she talking about? Was I being dumped or what?

"Yeah, a partial time out. I want to continue going out with you, but not as much as we have been doing. I need some time to myself. We can still date but not two or three times a week. And we need to stop having lunch together every day; once a week should be enough for now."

"So you want us to date other people, is that it?" I was hurt and angry and I could feel the end of our relationship coming over the horizon. Once you decide that you have the one you want, dating other people never works out. It only prolongs the agony.

"No, that's not the reason. I just want some time to myself. You have to admit we've been pretty much in each other's pocket for a couple of months now. I think I'm in love with you but I need time to make sure that its' not just the fact that we are always together. Can you understand?" Shannon was concerned and worried about how I would react to her reasoning.

Okay, that's a low blow, using logic where love is concerned. I guess I had never had any doubts about my feelings for Shannon. I had dated so many women that I knew what I wanted and how I felt. Shannon had only had two or three boy fiends and hadn't dated that much so she didn't have the experience to draw on that I did.

"John, say something," Shannon said as I sat there quietly for over a minute.

I shuddered, took a deep breath and answered her. "I'm sorry that you're not sure about us, I am. Have your time out if that's what you want. Do what you need to do. I guess I'll see you around."

"What do you mean, see you around? We'll still have lunch together every week and be together one night a week." Shannon realized that I wasn't going to go along with her program. "Won't we?"

"No, we won't. I'm sorry Shannon, but I can't just turn how I feel about you on and off like that. Either we're together or we're not. I can't handle a time out, partial or otherwise. If you make up your mind please call me ever if it's bad news, okay? Good bye"

"But John.......," she began.

"Shannon just get out of the car please. Good night," I said. I needed her to get out before she could see the tears in my eyes.

She got out of my car and I laid rubber getting out of there. I know, big macho man crying or about to cry over a woman. I had never felt this way about any woman before and I felt like I was losing something very precious to me. In my experience this time out bull shit never works so I guess Shannon and I were done.

Tuesday at work, Shannon called to see if I wanted to meet her for lunch.

"I can't Shannon; remember we're on a partial time out or whatever?" I was purposely being as sarcastic as possible.

"I thought we could still see each other John; I just want to cut back a little." She ignored my sarcasm.

"Sorry Shannon, I can't do it. I know how I feel and only being with you part time just isn't going to work for me." I wasn't being sarcastic now; I was telling her how I felt.

"Can we get together and talk about this some more?"

"Maybe later, but not right now. Thanks for the invitation but no thanks."

Yes I was acting like a spoiled brat; you know if I can't have what I want I don't want anything. I probably was being dramatic but you have to understand my mind set. I had never really cared for or loved any woman before and now that I had fallen for Shannon, I wanted it all or nothing. If she didn't want to be with me as much as I wanted to be with her, then I needed to go with my life. Stupid maybe, but it was the way I felt.

The next two weeks were very hard on me. Shannon and I talked three times during that time but I refused to discuss our relationship and after each call I told myself to either accept her "partial time out" or break it off with her completely. Easier said and all that, I just didn't have the courage or whatever to quit talking to her.

I had been staying at home or riding my bike during this time. There was no motivation to go to any of the bars or clubs that I used to frequent. The only reason I had gone to them was to score a new playmate or to drink. I'm not much of a drinker so that left little reason to go because I had no intention of making a run on any woman.

My buddy Pete called me on a Saturday and told me to man up and quit being such a wimp. He said that I needed to get out of my condo and rejoin the living. I tried to beg off but he wouldn't let me alone until I promised to go to the Brewery with him that evening.

"Sandy is going to be there with some of her friends and I promised to pick her up. We'll have a couple of beers and then I'll bring you back before I take Sandy home. Come on pal, you're going to go nuts if you don't shake it off and get on with yourself," Pete told me.

I thought it would be nice to see Pete and Sandy again so I agreed to go with him. He came by my place around 7:30 and we drove the bar. Sandy had told Pete that she and her friends would be at a table close to the dance floor. It was a good thing he knew where to look for her because the place was jumping. I really don't know how long it would have taken to find her just walking around.

We found Sandy and her friends and got a beer. There were four women and three guys at the table. One of the guys was the big man, Sal that had been there the first night I met Shannon; he still didn't seem too happy to see me. I sat down at the only available chair at the table.

One of Sandy's friends said, "Someone is sitting there; you'll have to get up when she comes back from the restroom. Oh, here she is now."

I stood up to give the lady her seat back and turned to apologize for taking her chair. It was Shannon. We hadn't seen each other since the discussion about the "partial time out". She smiled at me and once again those startling green eyes left me almost speechless.

Before I could do more than smile back at her and say hello, the devil showed up. Jake walked over to Shannon and took her arm.

"I've been chasing after you all night and I guess this is my chance. Come on honey, let's dance," he said as he started to pull Shannon onto the dance floor.

Shannon said, "I'm sorry but I promised this dance to John."

Remember that stupid switch I talked about, well someone flipped it into the full on position again. "No, that's okay. You two go on."

She had a look of disbelief on her face as Jake sort of pulled her onto the dance floor. As they walked away I thought to myself, you are a stupid ass John. I started to leave but then thought I should stay. At least long enough to let Shannon know that meeting her here was not my idea.

It did little good to confront Pete and Sandy about their ambushing me to get me to the bar. They both said, in different ways, that I was being an ass where Shannon was concerned. Sandy tried to explain that Shannon cared for me, if she didn't she wouldn't have wanted to see me at all. Pete just said that for such a smart guy I sure was acting like a moron.

I watched as Jake and Shannon danced first one then two and then three dances getting madder with each dance. It's you own doing idiot I thought, you're the one that let Jake take off with her. By the time the third dance was over Shannon was pulling Jake's hands away from places they shouldn't have been. I thought I had better cool down a little and went to the restroom. On the way I stopped at the bar and ordered a round of drinks for the table.

Jake was still at the table talking to Shannon when I got back. The drinks had been delivered and he picked up my drink. He looked at the drink, a double Jack Daniels, and then looked at me.

"You ordered the wrong drink for me boy, go get me a vodka on the rocks," he ordered me.

Considering how mad I was about the dancing it took a major effort on my part not to retaliate with very harsh words or a physical response. I stared at him for a second and ignored him. I turned to Shannon and asked her to dance.

Someone must have told Jake about Shannon and me and because of what had happened between he and I he decided to get a little payback. There was no other reason for him to react the way that he did.

"No you missed your chance John, she's with me now. Too bad, too sad; run along now and let the grownups play," Jake said with a sneer as he deliberately tried to provoke me. He was counting on his size to handle any retaliation from me.

"I think I'll just wait to hear what Shannon has to say," I said as I faced off against him. I had no doubt that if it turned physical that the same thing would happen that had the last time Jake and I squared off. But sometimes you have to stand up even if you know the result might be less than pleasant.

Shannon defused the tension by grabbing my hand and leading me onto the dance flow. "What, were you two going to go at it right there at the table?" She was a little upset at all the macho posturing that had gone on.

"Look Shannon I'm sorry, I should have danced with you before and maybe we could have avoided that pissing contest just now. But somehow I don't think so. Jake wants payback," I told her.

"What do you mean, he wants payback. He seems like a nice guy and except for his hands getting a little free I enjoyed his company and dancing with him."

Once again, I reverted to the truth with Shannon. I told her the story of the previous rivalry between Jake and I, I told her about me warning Sandy about the guy and I told her about Jake's retaliation. As I finished, I warned her about Jake and his intentions.

I should never have suggested that Jake or anyone else could persuade her to do anything that she didn't want to do. Shannon got angry, first at the suggestion of her gullibility and then at me for suggesting that she couldn't take care of herself.

"I'm not some little teeny bopper to be swept off my feet by some guy. I thought you knew me better than that," she was really mad now. "I can take care of myself."

"That's what every one of his "conquest" believed I told Shannon. Look you know what a player I was before I met you, well Jake is like me on steroids. At least I never lied to any of the girls I ran with, but he has no scruples at all. He will do anything to get the woman he wants. I just don't want you to be hurt and I'm sorry if that makes you mad."

Not much more was said and I took her back to the table after the dance. When we got back to the table, Jake put his arm around Shannon and looked at me daring me to say anything. He was still trying to provoke me.

"Did you get my drink for me boy?" Jake didn't so much ask me, it was more of a challenge.

In spite of my good intentions and my plan not to let this meeting get physical, I had finally reached the "Popeye the Sailor" stage. You know, "That's all I can stands, I can't stands no more". I braced up to Jake face on and started to let him know that he had gone too far; at this point I wasn't sure if it would be by words or by going to fist city.

Sal the giant stood up and came around the table closer to Jake and me. I don't know if he was going to stop the fight or help one of us or just join in on the fun. Hell, maybe he was going to pay me back for the night I dissed him when I met Shannon.

Shannon took Jake's arm and pulled him away to the dance floor. I guess that tells me where I stand, I thought to myself. I nodded at everyone at the table, even Sal, and left. Pete and Sandy tried to talk me out of leaving, but I was beyond listening to anyone. I was hurt, angry, and sad. Apparently Shannon had made her choice and the "partial time out" she suggested had turned into a full good bye.

*************************

So here I sit on my Harley under a tarp waiting for the rain to stop. I have been sitting waiting for about an hour; an hour of remembering my actions for the last few months and regretting some of them. Maybe I could have handled the situation with Shannon differently. Maybe I should have agreed to the "partial time out" that she suggested.

Maybe I should have never become involved with her to begin with. But no, we had some fun, exciting, and loving times together; I wouldn't have missed them for anything. Well that was all over with now; time for me to move on. No more hiding out in my condo, no more shutting Pete and Sandy out of my life, and no more feeling sorry for myself.

The rhythm of the rain has changed to a few drops instead of the hard drumming of the storm. It was a good thing that it stopped raining because it was getting dark. The storm has passed both physically and in my mind. Time to go home and go on. I took down my shelter, coiled the rope and shook the water off the tarp and then packed it in my saddle bags and started the ride back down the mountain to home.

One of the things I like about riding my Harley is that you have to pay attention to your riding all the time. If you don't bad things can happen. It keeps you mind clear of anything except what's going on with you and your bike.

Because of this necessary concentration, I didn't notice the figure sitting on the front steps of my condo until I pulled up and stopped. I got off my bike to open the garage and saw someone in the shadows. As I turned to face the person, they stepped out into the light. It was Shannon; she must have been there for a long time because she was soaked.

Shannon didn't say anything she just stood there, waiting for my reaction I guess. I nodded at her, opened the garage door and pulled my bike inside. The rain had started again and I didn't want to have talk to her in the rain so I motioned for her to follow me into the condo and led her into the kitchen.