Rode Hard Put Away Wet

This story is dedicated to Stangstar06. I've been reading about these damned pony cars so long I got to mention on in one of my stories too...though maybe this one should be under 'nonconsensual' in his mind.

I am the only editor of this piece of dreck, so any flaws are my own. I welcome all constructive criticism. The rest of you can drop dead.

*

"Hey Mary, is Jimbo around?" I asked as I entered the front door of their house.

Mary looked askance at me for walking into their house without knocking. "No..." she said hesitantly. "Did he know you were coming over?" Jim Madison was one of my long time colleagues who was still a bit of a drinking buddy, but since his last promotion into equities, had been a bit more distant, though we still had annual invites to his barbeque blow out.

"Damn. I was going to borrow something for a bit. I'm sorry I missed him." I was fighting to keep a straight face and not let my emotions show.

"Well, what was it?" she asked. Mary is a reasonably attractive woman and I considered telling her...but decided to stick to the original plan.

"I wanted to borrow a hammer." I said innocently. I noted the key rack next to the front door.

"You don't own a hammer?" she asked a bit surprised. Her tone suggested a manly deficiency at my lack of having basic tools. "He has one in the garage. Do you know which one?" She had turned her back on my. I quickly reached over to the key rack and lifted the key I wanted. I didn't need to worry about it jingling because there was only one key on this ring with a red white and blue fob with a running horse on it.

I pocketed it quietly and followed her. Inside the two car garage, one car was proudly displayed taking up both spaces. All the junk that a garage normally collects was carefully set far to the sides, away from the polished and gleaming piece of automotive excellence.

"Wow! So that is 'The Baby."" I said, impressed despite myself. I walked around the white exterior with a black stripe running down the hood and roof. The chrome on the hubcaps gleamed.

Mary rolled her eyes a little at my comment. "Yes. I swear he loves that thing more then he does me. Washes and waxes it at least once a week."

I opened the door to Mary's obvious distress and sat behind the wheel. "A real 1965 Shelby Mustang GT350! Do you realize that Ford only made a hundred of these bad boys so they could be legal to race as a production car?"

"Trust me," Mary said dryly. "It has been a constant conversation piece since he got it after that last promotion. He had to sell his other two Mustangs to afford it, but it's, as you say, his Baby. Now please get out of there before he sees you. He hates people even sitting in his car." I regretfully got out, sliding my hand up to the sun visor and grabbing the garage remote which I slipped in my jacket pocket. "Oh...there is the hammer. Mind if I borrow it for a bit?" I pointed to it on the meticulously laid out tool rack on the wall to a large ball peen hammer.

"Help yourself." She said, strategically putting herself at the driver's door as I lifted the hammer out of the rack and headed back to the door back to the kitchen.

I smiled at her nicely. "Sorry. I have a claw hammer, but I need to do a bit of metal working and there is nothing like a good ball peen hammer." I said in explanation. "And since it's only one job..." I trailed off.

"Well, I'll let him know you borrowed it." she said carefully.

I nodded and left.

***

One thing people don't consider when they put in automatic garage door openers is that security systems need to make allowances for people opening the garage door without alerting the cops every time they are opened up. So the security sensors are put on the inner door to the house, not the garage door.

I had worn a biker helmet, sunglasses and gloves on the bike I picked up from craigslist. I normally didn't wear biker rider clothes. But a cab would leave a record and I was trying to be discrete. It was how one did things.

Back at Jimbo's house, I hit the garage door opener and biked right in, carefully closing the door behind me. I had already verified that he was at work by calling his secretary, and a call to his home number verified that his wife was gone too; no doubt to a spa, a haircut, the gym or whatever trophy wives do.

There she sat. Shelby. She was too beautiful to go to waste! Just sitting there alone with no one to pay attention to her. There were certain formalities to get out of the way "Hey baby. What is a beautiful girl like you doing all alone?" I listened. "So...let's get out of here and have some fun..."

I unlocked her door and slid across the leather seat. "So you want to do this?" I said, sliding the key into her hole. A little twist and she roared her agreement. "Okay. If you insist. Let's get out of here. Oops. Almost forgot." I turned her off. "Now be patient baby. I'll be right back. Can't let anyone know you're stepping out." I opened the trunk and looked inside. There were cleaning supplies, a huge car cover and a grill bra. "Well, that saves me getting your bra off. Never could figure out how you put one of them on, much less off."

I shoved my bicycle into the trunk and tried to close it. The handlebars were sort of wide and the trunk on a Shelby GT is kind of tight. "What do you mean 'it doesn't fit'?" I muttered to myself. By dint of some effort, and slamming the trunk lid shut hard a few times, I got the lid to close, though there were a couple dents in the metal.

Sliding back into the seat, I turned her back on and started off, making sure the garage door was closed. No need to inform them that Shelby was playing around.

I left the neighborhood quickly, not doffing my sunglasses or helmet until I got close to the highway. No need to have any witnesses identify me. Discretion was the mark of a true gentleman.

On the highway, I let Shelby take the lead and she said she liked it hard and fast. We went pretty damn fast on the highway, passing the lesser ugly cars like they were standing still. I got a lot of jealous looks from the guys and looks of disgust from the women drivers. Such is life.

I drove about twenty miles out and yeah, driving Shelby fast was a lot of fun but honestly, I don't think she was living up to her potential. She was a hot little number and I bet she had all kinds of surprises for me if she was just coaxed adequately.

"Hey baby. Wanna try a little off roading?" I asked her when the dirt road I had spotted earlier this month came up. Well, she didn't say no, so that was a 'yes' or sorts, so I turned her into the rutted path and floored it.

She was a game bitch and we left a huge dust cloud and flying gravel in our wake. The road obviously hadn't seen much traffic, since branches were growing into the road area, but Shelby didn't seem to mind scratches. A tinkle over on the left side informed me that Shelby had just lost her side mirror. I sighed. Didn't see that branch.

After a mile or so down the road, leaving behind the gravel, the road grew more rutted. Shelby heaved up and down, making the occasional strange clunking sound. It seems that Shelby was built for speed, not for comfort. The piece of shit stock seat belts didn't stop me from hitting my head on the roof occasionally, but that's the price you pay for a fine ride like Shelby, I guess.

Finally, the road ended at a shallow creek. I was tempted. I was sorely tempted. But there are lines you just don't cross. It was incumbent on me to make sure that Shelby went back to Jimmie in drivable condition. Anything else wouldn't be mannerly.

So I tried to open the driver door but that stupid tree got in the way. I tried to persuade the tree to move by nudging it a few more times hard with the door but it wouldn't move, so I slid over to the other side and opened that side.

I regarded the car. Somehow, she didn't seem as pretty as when I first started driving her. "Shelby. I'm afraid we're going to have to end this relationship. I mean, it was really special when we started but I'm getting a little concerned that someone might find out. I'll get you home but I want to let you have a little something to remember me by." I slid the ball peen hammer out of the courier pack I wore on the bike as part of my disguise and walked around the Mustang.

Body damage is easily fixed, and scratches are easily painted over. But chrome...I used the rounded end and dented the shit out of every piece of chrome I could find. Some of it was plastic formed replacement but a surprising amount was still stock. I'm afraid some of it popped off the frame. And she seems to have lost one of her hubcaps, the slut, but I didn't see it as my problem.

I checked my watch. I had barely been gone an hour. Time to get the bitch to her damn fool owner. I tossed the hammer in the passenger foot well and climbed back in.

***

It was the next day when things started to go awry. I was sitting there reading the paper in my beloved hearth and home drinking a stiff one when there was suddenly a shrieking of brakes outside on my lawn. Uh oh.

I pulled out my iPhone and made a call, then punched a button and positioned it on my entertainment center. At this point, I heard some screaming outside my door. "Let me in, you cocksucker!" There was a woman's voice in the background making the normal pleading sounds. I went over to my chair, finished the drink, and then opened the door.

Jim let me have it with one punch. I saw a stars for a while and wondered why the floor was tilted so. I started to struggle to me feet. "It's not what you think, she meant nothing to me." I said loopily.

"You cocksucker! You fucking thief! You piece of shit!" He hit me again and again.

"Joyrider." I said just before I felt me nose break. That hurt. He started to bring his foot back to kick me, so I rolled away a bit, letting him swing through the air. He swung so hard that his other foot lost balance and he fell backwards.

It was at this point that I noticed his wife. Meanwhile MY wife came thundering down the stairs. "Frank, what the hell is going on? Jimmie! What are you doing here?" I wasn't so far gone as to not notice the 'Jimmie'.

I backed away from Jimbo, holding up my hands in a placating manner. "Dude...you shouldn't have left her alone so much. It's just as much your fault as hers."

He started to advance toward me, his hands held up ready to clean my clock. "What the hell do you mean? It's my car!"

"It's not like I stole it, man." I tried again. "I just sort of...borrowed her for a while. No harm no foul." I tried again. At this point, both women were trying to stop his advance toward me, blabbing at him.

"You RUINED her, you son of a bitch! You broke all the chrome!"

"How did you find out?" I had to ask.

"That fucking ball peen hammer you borrowed was in the fucking car!" Oops. Sometimes I missed the details. Boy did I feel stupid.

"Well, I felt I could since you wanted to borrow my wife!" I finally lost it and screamed back at him.

Suddenly, my living room was silent. Kathy, my wife, turned pale. Mary was staring at me goggle eyed and suddenly Jimbo started to try and control his fury. "Look....I know you and Kathy are having problems, but you stole my car! Don't go accusing me of..." he said.

"I took your car for a joyride. She was just sitting there alone and unattended. Bored and neglected. She was begging to have a little fun." Kathy suddenly had a very hard time looking at me. Well, that was fair. I had been having a hard time looking at her for the last few weeks.

Mary was not willing to let this go, however. "What do you mean, Frank?"

"I mean that 'Jimmie' and Kathy have been having an aff..."

"SHUT UP!" Frank said, trying to squelch the truth but we all knew it was too late for that. Mary's mouth just opened and shut in astonishment and pain while Kathy started sobbing.

"Frank...it's over. Long over. It was a mistake..." my loving wife of over a decade said to me.

"Some things are long over. I got the videos. I have the transcripts. See, 'Jimmie'! I had something precious too that some asshole came in and marked up and ruined. If you hadn't left your hickies on her, I'd still be a stupid fuck. So I decided to give your 'true love' a ride since we're swinging and all."

Mary swung hard at him. 'You son of a bitch!" Kathy was crying and apologizing.

Suddenly there were flashing lights outside. Finally the cops had arrived. It had taken them long enough. I wondered what I was getting for my taxes.

"What's that?" Jim looked out the window.

"I reported a home invader coming into my house. I'm covered with bruises. I did what anyone would do. I called the cops."

"Asshole! I'm going to accuse you of auto theft! You're just as guilty as I am!"

"I'm guilty of joyriding and vandalism. YOU are guilty of assault. Big difference. See, I'm not an equities trader and assault is a felony. That means that your little equity license goes away if you're convicted...and I doubt your partners are going to let you work with a trial over your head."

Jim was seething. His car was violated. I knew the feeling.

"Let's call it even!" he finally said. The officers were approaching.

"Fine. Let's. Kathy, we're through. Unlike Jim's car, he couldn't do what he did without your consent."

She just stared at me, shocked into silence.

Mary was crying. She was the other real victim here. "Mary...I'm sorry. I just want to remind you of one thing, if you decide to divorce that piece of shit you have." Jimbo glared at me some more. Tough tittie asshole. "That Shelby he loves so very much...it's half yours...make sure you tell your attorney when he goes to settlement."

Mary started to smile and Jim looked ill as they both realized the implications of that statement.