Sera Ch. 31

It must also be understood that each generation of Sea retains a sort of racial memory of every generation that came before. This is how the act of 'flying' is possible when two people of Sera orgasm together while in each other's eyes. While there is no conscious memory of what Sera was before Marie Roy, there is a subconscious one, and part of that memory is the life and personality of every woman who ever bore Sera. This is almost like harbouring the ghost of all our ancestors within us, but is actually more like being a medium of the imprinted information, the data that keeps the memory of those ancestors intact. 'Data' of certain ancestors are more dominant than others, depending on the personality. For example, my/Steven's dominant ancestral data is Eleonore because I have a lot in common with her while my/Kitten's dominant ancestor is Dolanna for the same reason. As a further example, Ashleigh's dominant ancestor is Rebecca. Though Auntie didn't know of this ancestral record until we told her, she was aware of Rebecca's memory within her in some instinctual measure, more so as she got older, which is why she often refers to her as though she's still alive. This racial memory is also how I/we, Steven/Kitten, came to be aware of all this when we made love in Ashleigh's apartments that early morning. Only we two can access this record, though Sheila has the record of Sera's conception.

What Samantha did to Grammy was not only a bonding, but an overload that severely damaged both residing personalities. Along with her severe infliction of schizophrenia and the dominant personality record of Coby, Marie left home to become the monster that would eventually raise three children without the instinctual knowledge that only one successor was truly feasible.

Her first daughter, Auntie Ashleigh, would never bear children, and this was a result of what Samantha had done to Marie, passed to Ashleigh. Within Marie, Sera intuitively understood this and desperately used her husband to create Sheila in order that the line could continue.

Ironically, Sheila was actually the first successor of Seraphine to be born without a human soul. This was because Marie would have miscarried Sheila as her ancestor, Marie Roy, had miscarried Seraphine minutes before inhabitation of the new energy form. Only Sera allowed Sheila to live, however, after expending part of herself on Ashleigh, Sera was much diminished within Sheila, and this failure was a subconscious reason on Marie's part for her treatment of her second daughter. Seemingly unviable, it certainly wasn't expected that Sheila would later on give birth to a daughter with all of Sera's proper abilities, so a third attempt had to be made.

Kathleen came about out of pure panic. For the first time, Sera could see the end of herself on the horizon, and whatever was left of Marie's psychological integrity was sacrificed when a sufficiently large portion of Sera was removed from Marie to ensure Kathleen's chances of continuing its human existence. It worked, but almost backfired when Marie's rapid deterioration didn't allow for a bonding at the appropriate time, and only three things allowed her third daughter to escape psychological disaster before such a late bonding with us/Steven. First was the fact that such a strong dose of Sera had been downloaded to Kathleen that, in addition to later massive substance abuse, Sera had little trouble quelling her counterpart personality within Kathleen's mind. Second was an early form of bonding with Sheila, and the third factor was that her schizophrenic affliction was relatively light.

Finally, it must be explained that Sera not only exists within her Human hosts, but also as a whole. The record itself is a sort of awareness that one might describe as an entity, or even a sort of god. This entity is the true source of Sera's progression, the overseeing of her survival and evolution, and the instinctual drives within the part of her that we all individually carry to make sure the right decisions are made with her interests as priority. For example, bonding is an instinctual process that wouldn't happen without the influence of this 'god'. Eleonore probably never would have forced Finn Gallagher on Dolanna, Odette wouldn't have later killed her, Rebecca wouldn't have hung herself, Marie's second and third daughters wouldn't have come about otherwise and Ashleigh wouldn't have been so hell bent on reuniting the family, most especially us/Steven/Kitten. One might say that we of Sera are divinely inspired in some of the things we do.

And this is why I/Steven was born as a male. Sera could have easily created a male successor from one of the genepools provided, indeed had many times used material from contributing male genetic codes in the making of her offspring. The obvious reason for why she didn't was because only a woman could guarantee that the line continue because only women have and therefore control the womb, that all important wellspring of life. The unexpected event of a daughter born to Sheila provided an opportunity to finally create a male.

Steven

Returning from all the places where and when Kitten and I were during our bonding was a stressful event, much more so than its imparted knowledge and so much more detail that could never be written. It was like being jolted to wakefulness from a deep sleep by a loud noise in a place I was unfamiliar with. Strangely, the world of recognized reality, those surroundings of Ashleigh's orgy room, was what seemed wrong and alien as parts of Kitten's mind lingered in my own, entwined like a needy lover to my understanding and recognition of self.

I let out a breath that I'd been holding for who knows how long, Kitten doing the same thing as she suddenly relaxed. We were exhausted, both physically and mentally and, a moment later, she was lying out full length on me and we were in each other's arms, just resting and still sexually connected.

"Are you two okay?" Sheila voice came with quiet hesitation.

I'd forgotten they were even there. Looking over Kitten's shoulder, I regarded them, all three with expressions of curious concern as they peered at us. My reply, to my surprise, was a giddy laugh.

After a few minutes, they helped us up, both Kitten and I only then noticing how we were bathed in sweat. They ushered us to a seat on the steps that ringed the mattress, side by side, where Kitten's shaky voice posed the question on both our minds.

"H-how long...?"

"About fifteen seconds," Ashleigh replied, using my cousin's dress to mop perspiration from her face while my naked mother peered closely at mine from less than a foot away.

"Fifteen... seconds?" I asked with incredulity. It seemed like it must have been a lot longer than that.

"Maybe fifteen, yes," Mum confirmed, somewhat rudely snatching Kitten's dress from her sister's hand once she was done with it to mop my face. "Are you sure you're alright, sweetie pie? You're white as a sheet."

"Yeah, I- I'm good. We... uhhh."

"We had an experience," Kitten dully provided.

"Yeah, no shit," Sheila sarcastically breathed.

It was hard explaining it all to them. Part of the difficulty was in putting some of it into human language but, also, the constant distraction of Kitten along with my desire to just be somewhere alone with her kept getting in the way. By the time we did get our experience across, the sun was well up and we were feeling like we needed to sleep for a week.

Ashleigh finally led us out of her orgy room, across the clearing and through the tall double doors into what was indeed her own apartment. We were showed to her bed, helped into it to lay side by side where we both promptly passed out.

I woke up after dark with her riding me. The only other person there was a servant, probably left to keep an eye on us and/or run for anything we might need when we awoke. She watched as we made love, both of us avoiding the other's eyes through unspoken decision when we came together.

"I love you, sweetie pie," she told me afterwards.

She was lying beside me with her head on my chest, happy and content. I could feel this as well as her love for me. Sera had created a bond between us that didn't even require eye contact.

"I love you too. To think, I figured you were retarded." I mentioned with mild wonder.

"I know," she informed with a tone that was clearly less than impressed. "I should be pretty mad about that, y'know."

"Well, you thought I was weird," I defended with a smile.

"Don't try to make excuses," she warned as she wiggled further into me.

I sighed with an easy smile and suddenly realized that I was happy. This might sound stupid but, after everything I'd been through since my father had 'disappeared', this sudden realization completely surprised me.

"What?" she asked, somehow sensing my epiphany.

"I'm happy."

She raised herself a little, my hand stroking her bare back as she looked at me with a curious smile and replied, "Me too. I've never been happier. And not just happy like I was when I finally got daddy to fuck me, but contented happy. Like everything is right for once... Like it never could have been without you. Because even with Daddy, I wasn't really happy. I couldn't be because I was just... Daddy's little girl. I was his kid who helped out and got a bigger allowance for it. Now I'm yours and I have a purpose. I'm... yours. ... It's so hard to explain, but I guess I don't have to with you."

"No," I confirmed. I know you now, how you feel, how you felt... who you are and who you were. It's weird."

"But beautiful."

"Yeah. You know, I was so worried about how you'd take what will eventually happen to us, what I call our 'dilution'. But, not only are you alright with it, but now I am too. That's partly because you are, but also because learning the family history helped a lot, knowing that I was a part of something much larger than myself and that I have an important part to play in it."

"I felt the same way," she agreed. "When the whole story of our family's history was done last night and I went back to my apartment to get changed and it all soaked in. I mean the influence, the power, the money and the line of women who allowed us to exist as what we are. I suddenly felt so important. That's really why I'm so happy now, I think. Because of you too, but you're a part of all that- my identity- that I finally have. But it was more important for you. You were afraid. Afraid of what would happen with you and your mummy and stuff."

With a sigh, I admitted, "Yes. I knew things that you didn't and I couldn't tell you because of Ashleigh and because we just weren't that close, but bonding with you created a deeper understanding. I no longer fear being shoved aside by Sera, in fact I don't even see it like that anymore. It's been happening since I bonded with my Mum, a natural, necessary progression that will eventually define who I am. I understand now that I'm as much Sera, the variant Human, as I am Steven, the normal kid who glued all the bathroom doors shut in high school. Sera's development as a variant of Humanity, something she has as much right to as the more common energy inhabitation of Humanity, has only ever been hampered by that more common counterpart's presence and, while it's true that she loves that counterpart as much as she loves her family members, it's been a stumbling block for generations. All that said, I also understand that part of my acceptance of it is because of yours."

At this, Kitten shrugged with a little smile, gently tweaked my nipple and replied, "I'm a pretty simplistic person compared to you. I don't overcomplicate things and I think Sera finds that a lot easier to work with. Besides, It's not like that part of us will die or anything. We'll just be... sort of sitting down, enjoying a nice triple vodka with milk while Sera takes over."

I couldn't help but chuckle at this analogy.

"Right?"

"Right," I agreed. "Just like Ashleigh told me. And as for her..."

"What about her?"

"I think I understand her a lot better now, too. I even trust her. Mostly."

"'Mostly?'"

"Well, she did lie to me about a few things. For one, Mum was stabilized as soon as she and I bonded, more so after she and Sheila started getting along again, but Ashleigh allowed me to believe otherwise so that I'd be inclined to support her staying. I get that it was for the greater good of Mum, Sera and the family, same as with her other lies and, had I been in her place, I'd have probably done the same thing, but she's still a tricky one. She's been a long time without the benefit of a human counterpart within her and she tends to... be a little inhuman in some ways."

"Maybe," Kitten allowed, "but that'll be us too someday. Besides, Auntie Ashleigh's first and foremost concern is, always has been and always will be, Sera and the family."

"You're very trusting."

"And you're very paranoid. Even now."

"It's served me well," I parried.

After a pause where she languidly stroked my chest with light fingers while I ran mine through her long hair, she looked at me with a question mark imprinted on her perfect features.

"What?" I prodded.

"Well... Ummm, I was wondering what..."

"Spit it out, Kittenface."

"(Giggle) Well, I kinda wonder what our, ummm... sex life will be like."

"Pretty fuckin' great, I would imagine."

"... Yeah, but I mean... are we gonna... have other people? Besides our mummys and Auntie Ashleigh, I mean?"

I beheld her face, the expression in her sparkling eyes, and saw there the hope that I'd understand her need for hedonistic gratification. I replied with an understanding smile and another sigh.

"That's something else Ashleigh was right about. Christ, even Mum said it, and it's not like Sheila ever had any qualms about it. We're not like other people and it's stupid to try to be. I'm not going to cling to what was anymore, pretending I'm like regular people by trying to imitate their social behaviours for the benefit of... whatever. Our perversions run a lot deeper than what those behaviours would allow for and I know now that they can never be satisfied within the socially acceptable boundaries that are realistic for the milder perversions of normal people."

"I was hoping you'd say something like that," she said with a face splitting grin.

"Don't get too excited," I warned with a smile and a fistful of her hair, "because Ashleigh is also right about how dangerous it is to be fucking around out in public. That little scene at that hotel bar could've gotten waaay outta hand really easily."

"You enjoyed that little scene!" she accused.

"I know I did, that's why it went so far and how it could've gotten way outta hand. We have to be careful and not let our passions run away with us. Even Rebecca knew that."

Mention of that name sobered the conversation somewhat. I went back to stroking her hair during a long pause which she eventually broke.

"I know, you're right. That's what Auntie Ashleigh means when she says she wants me to keep an eye on your mummy because of that stuff. She asked me after your Mummy and I had that little night out together with a family of four. I was pretty surprised she'd ask me, being so much younger and everything."

"Yeah, you mentioned that before, and I think Mum mentioned that little night out. ... Did you have fun?"

"Oh yeah. At the time, though, I didn't have the understanding of what we are that I have now, so I was also wracked with guilt about you and Daddy and... and Gina." Her mood suddenly changed and she asked with plain misery, "Oh, Stevie, what are we gonna do about her? I feel like... Oh, fuuuck..."

"I know how you feel," I sympathized, "and that's another aspect of how and why we need to be careful. I don't like the idea of becoming something with little or no regard for other lives, no matter if they're different than us."

"I... fuck, I'd never think of abusing one of my cats, but look at what I did to her. Stevie, what are we gonna do?" she asked again, almost pleading this time with tears standing in her eyes.

"We'll take care of it," I told her. "I'll help you. I promised I would and I always keep my promises. You'll see."

I wiped the tears that made it down her cheeks, thinking of the promise I'd made to Mum and how I'd actually failed in keeping that one and without a clue as to how in hell I was going to accomplish this feat concerning Gina, or just how I managed to get myself into these situations.