Sex - on the Rocks or Neat?

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What are women looking for in sexual fiction?
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Women have been devouring romance novels and chocolate bon-bons in lieu of satisfying their sexual desires for a long time. Sometimes the partner isn't willing. Sometimes there isn't a partner and going out to pick someone up at the local bar seems a little unsafe, at best. What's a girl to do? We turn to stories to stir our imagination and sate our appetites.

Jane Austen made women flutter then Barbara Cartland came along with her swooning heroines. Phyllis Whitney introduced a stronger type of heroine and today we have Jennifer Crusie writing. She actually has a woman interested in sex. But it still seems to need to be tied to romance in order to make it acceptable. I remember well the typical trashy romance novels where the woman is saved by the man in some way and then sex ensues with delicate euphemisms. (I gave those up when I found erotica.)

Are there any mainstream stories out there for women where strong heroines desire sex as an end in itself instead of a sign of romance and love? Perhaps in science fiction, but those tend to skirt the edge of the bestseller list and it still comes back around to romance in the end.

Erotica sits on the fringe and the average woman is still a little embarrassed to admit that they could enjoy something that isn't tied to romance and love. It is changing slowly though.Playgirl is not only a successful magazine but offers videos through their web site.

Sex is becoming more explicit in mainstream writing, and erotica is moving into the mainstream. I think I bought my first two collections of erotic writing for women from a major book club about ten years ago. They are quality writing and fun stories. I was introduced to the whole concept when I was eighteen by a friend who bought me a copy ofPlaygirl magazine. Though the magazine is long gone, I still have the books and enjoy them from time to time. They whet my appetite and I turned to the Internet to find more erotic writings and then to publish some of my own.

The availability of good erotic reading material seems to be tied to what women feel comfortable picking up and buying. Or even admitting they would buy. Women in their thirties and forties are now a lot more likely to have a toy or two, or at least admit that they masturbate. Women are acknowledging that they need sexual satisfaction from time to time even when they don't have a partner.

It also depends on the cultural taboos that women grow up with in their family. It is still pretty rare that sex is talked about easily and openly in the family. I know I explained erotica to my mother when I was in college. She didn't seem to know what it was. (Though I always wonder if women are holding back because they think it wouldn't beappropriate for them to admit that they are interested.

If mothers and sisters aren't talking about it, where is a girl supposed to learn about it all? I was having dinner recently with a friend when she admitted that her husband had asked her to try anal sex and she had point blank refused. I asked why. She was basically scared of the idea. She certainly couldn't imagine enjoying it, having grown up with the belief, as I did, that it was dangerous. If it weren't for articles on Literotica, I'm sure I'd still have that perspective.

So, what are women looking for in the erotic writing they read, if they have the knowledge and courage to even look for it? (Though I think the Internet has made that a little easier for them as much as for men.) What are some of the themes that women enjoy? I think it is as diverse as the women themselves.

Some women can't seem to imagineany woman enjoying anal sex while others LOVE it and then there are the women in between who haven't tried it but figure with the right care taken, it might be fun. Some women want to be dominated while some want to dominate. Some prefer tender sex and some prefer it rough and many like a combination of the two from time to time.

With the diversity of interests, I've noticed a few common themes in my stories that draw a strong reaction out of women. The stranger always seems to fire the imagination. The air of mystery and romance never seems to fail to interest a woman. The thrill of forbidden fruit is a fun fantasy for women to explore. Many women are interested in stories where the heroine has a loss of control over the situation, where she doesn't have to be responsible for her actions anymore. I think a common thread with these interests is that they are things women would not dare explore in their real lives.

Romance and love continue to be standard fare for most women, but we are starting to branch out and explore some other erotic delicacies that once were relegated to the fantasies we never spoke out loud. I'm not sure how much discussion there is now, but at least we're putting them down on paper and out into cyberspace.

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wieliczkawieliczkaover 7 years ago
I know that I'm different

But I grew up with several sisters and no brothers. I have an in-your-face wife of Southern Italian background, a daughter (and a son) and a daughter-in-law and two grand daughters. I want everyone to succeed in life, to be all they can be, to have the support and really the expectation that they will all do better than their parents. That's been our (my marriage) goal in life. These women around me are all competent, supported and expected to do well. Why isn't it like this for everyone?

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 16 years ago
Hm

My five cents as a guy :)

I hate those stories where the heroine is presented as a 'submissive', just cringing and allowing the male character to do his 'thing'. First of all, I don't call that love, to me it seems more like a rape. If that is the secret dream of 'little wimen' :) Sh*, then I'm definitely out of the game. I find all kind of love story's interesting with the exclusion of all gay. But that's my taste :) It just doesn't do anything for me. And yeah, sometimes it's only sex, but without love? Nah.

Cheers Yoron.

jzimmerlijzimmerliabout 16 years ago
My thoughts

I would just like to say that as a daughter I was lucky...sex was something that was openly talked about in our house. Sex was something to be taken seriously when the time and person were right, but it was also something that you were to enjoy. I dated and experienced but I can say that the man that I married is the only person that has had his cock in my pussy, and that was before we were married. I am the type of women that most men would love to be married to. I am a stay at home mom and the neighborhood kids come here after school but a freak in the bedroom. I don't think I have ever told my man No! I love it anyway I can get it and I hope to raise my daughter the same way. She is 6 and has been informed about "where babies come from" since she was 3 when I was carrying her brother. I hope to instill the same values in her that my mom instilled in me.

So all of that said, I can tell you that I like a good romance with hot steaming sex. Sure it may be slow and sweet the first time but we all know that not all sex is like that and sometimes we like to be tossed on the bed and just plain fucked - I know I do!

TrixieScooterpieTrixieScooterpieabout 16 years ago
An open conversation is always a good thing!

I appreciate your perspective that women's interests are as varied in this arena as in any other area in life! I'm tired of hearing what I SHOULD find erotic. I actually like stories that are just about the sex as well as stories with more plot and character development. It really just depends on how I'm feeling at any given time. I don't see that what one enjoys reading is necessarily indicative of what one would want to happen in everyday life; literature allows us to explore our most basic needs and desires - even celebrate them - without committing ourselves to the lives led by the characters we might enjoy. Healthy conversation between females (mothers, daughters, sisters, friends) about erotica and sex itself is the first step to helping us all realize sexuality covers a broad spectrum and we can't all be expected to fit into the same narrow definition. What a woman wants is mysterious because each woman is unique. Each PERSON is unique. Good writing isn't limited by the action in the story - it's the prose used to create the story.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 16 years ago
I think the answer varies with the woman, but...

In genral, I think most women are not fans of PWP -- porn without plot. For me, those types of stories are very boring. After all, there are only so many ways a tab can be inserted into a slot and if there is nothing to the story other than that and an exchange of bodily fluids, why should I bother to read another one? Yawn. "Characters" who are no more than moving body parts are borrrring. Perhaps I am old-fashioned in your eyes, but the erotica that works best for me is that which is grounded in plot and most of all: characterizations.

If an author gives me those two non-negotiable criteria, then I am willing to read a variety of options, even options I don't find personally enticing (such as anal or crossdressing). However, I am most certainly NOT interested in anything involving pee and/or poop (that makes me stop reading instantly); pain; racial degradation (the impressively-large body of work involving people getting off on being dominated by African-Americans is such a cliche that it is surely due to be the topic of a serious PHD dissertation in my view); or torture porn (which merely serves as a cover for the author's hatred of women). I outright laugh at stories which assume that ALL women have vaginal orgasms or secretly want to be dominated -- that is the male view being imposed upon female sexuality. What I find most interesting and erotic to read, actually is the gay male category, especially stories involving a character's first time with another man.

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