Shave and a Hair Cut: Two Bits

"Can I have this dance, Tyler?"

"Sure."

She smiled and led me to the middle of the crowd.

I couldn't help but stare into her eyes as her arms were around my neck and my hands were on her hips.

"I really screwed up, Tyler. I can't stress enough how sorry I am."

"It's okay. I had to grow up eventually."

"See? No, you didn't. I made you change who you were. You should never change who you are for someone."

"I didn't do this for you. Even my Uncle told me I needed to do it. He bought me the barber trip for my birthday."

"Well, your Uncle was wrong. Just promise me you'll stay the same sweet guy who had long hair. I liked him."

"Just not enough to take a picture with him," I added.

She dropped her head and didn't look me in the eye after that.

As if I were stuck in an alternative universe, I was voted into the prom court. I didn't win, but it seemed a lot of people thought I was a worthy funny vote.

I didn't take the stage with the others. I walked out of the building.

*****

Four years later, I walked in my Mom's house after finishing college. I had a job lined up as a junior associate in a local accounting firm.

"Tyler! Welcome home," Ma said as she kissed my cheek. "I like the new look."

I still had short hair, but I grew a neatly groomed beard.

"Thanks. I'm glad to be done. Now, I just have to get my CPA and the company will pay for me to get a master's degree."

"Wonderful! Come on, let's get you fed. Your grandparents might be by later to see you."

I unpacked my stuff and sent a text to my old crew to let them know I was home and available for gaming.

I came out of my shell a bit at school and became a more outgoing person. It didn't take long to make new friends and get in touch with a good group of people. The only problem was, we were going home to different parts of the country.

Jimmy and Joe were back in town, and they hadn't changed. They wanted to play online rather than meet up for a drink or a burger.

"Tyler, your lunch is ready," Mom yelled.

I couldn't wait to eat my mom's cooking again. I hurried downstairs and was ready to scarf the sausage and peppers.

"I saw Dana yesterday," Mom said out of nowhere.

"Dana who?" I asked, mouth full of sausage.

She shook her head, "You know who."

I shrugged, "And?"

"She asked about you again."

"Again?"

She nodded, "Again. She always asks how you are."

"When do you see her?"

"When she comes in at work. She has a PO Box."

Mom worked at the front desk of our town's Post Office.

"And what do you tell her?"

"Just the basics. She seemed disappointed when I told her you were dating that Chelsea girl."

I rolled my eyes, "Well, that's ended."

"Did it?"

"Yeah. She moved back to Florida and didn't see us staying together."

"Well, long distance is hard. You're probably better off."

"I'm over it."

"Maybe, you should give her a call?"

"Why? It's over."

"No, Dummy. Dana. She's a nice girl, and pretty too. She goes to a local school because she had to help at home. Her mom struggled after her dad ran off."

"I didn't know that."

She frowned, "You would've if you stayed in touch."

"Ma, you know she's the one who turned me down for prom because she didn't want me to ruin her prom pictures."

"She mentioned that when we had coffee."

"You had coffee with her? Jesus, Ma."

"We just happened to be in the coffee shop at the same time and there was nowhere for me to sit. She offered me a seat at her table."

"How nice of her," I grumbled.

I didn't like the idea of my mother being friends with the girl who broke my heart. Well, breaking my heart was a stretch. She hurt me though.

"I told you she was a nice girl."

"Yeah. I know."

"Tyler, I think,"

"Don't say it."

"You should give her a call," she smiled as if she had a great triumph over me.

"Why?"

"You'd make adorable babies."

"Good, Lord, Ma. I'm going out."

"Where are you going?"

"I don't know. Just away from here, probably for a coffee."

I shook my head at her evil-like grin.

*****

I wound up at our town's mom and pop version of Starbucks. I never had their coffee, because I never drank the stuff before college, and wanted to try some.

I took my first sip, and before I could register its taste, I heard, "Hey, stranger."

I looked up and said, "Hi, Dana."

She didn't wait for me to invite her to join me before sitting.

"How are you?" She asked. "It's been a while."

"You already know how I am," I shrugged. "My mom's kept you up to date on my life."

She smiled, with only a hint of embarrassment.

"Your mom's nice. She's helped me through some tough times."

"She mentioned something about your dad."

She nodded, "Mom had an affair. Dad got pissed and did a runner. No divorce, no fuck you, he just emptied their bank accounts and left."

"I'm sorry."

"Yeah," she shrugged. "I didn't help matters when I told him he should try to work it out and not to divorce her."

I furrowed my brow. I hated cheaters.

"No!" She gasped. "I didn't approve of what she did. I hated it, but I thought over twenty years of marriage deserved an effort to save."

"No. I disagree. You can't love someone and cheat on them. It's a hard stop for me."

"Maybe," she shrugged. "Anyway. Dad got pissed, left us, and we haven't heard from him since. Mom started drinking, and things went downhill from there."

"I'm sorry," I said. "That must be hard on you."

She shrugged and sipped her latte.

"Hard from the standpoint of I'm only going to college part time and have to work full-time so I don't lose the house. I guess it's my penance for trying to help keep their marriage together. I should've stayed out of it."

"My folks divorced when I was a kid. It was dad who cheated though. I don't see him much either because he moved to New York where he's originally from."

"Sorry," she frowned.

"It is what it is," I sighed.

"I like your new look," she said changing the subject. "The trim beard is sexy on you."

My eyebrows shot up as I leaned back into my seat.

"What?" She smirked. "I won't believe I'm the first girl to tell you how attractive you are."

"No. It's just, with our history--"

"That was a long time ago, and you know how bad I felt after."

"I guess. It's just a little hard to hear you say that after, you know."

"Yeah, I know. Tyler, could we maybe go out to dinner or something?"

She looked as if she wanted to slink down into her chair. The embarrassment looked cute on her.

I asked, "Like a date?"

"No, not like a date. A real date."

"Funny," I groaned.

"I'm serious, Tyler. Give me a chance to show you I'm the same girl you thought I was before I became an idiot."

I looked at her and still thought she was cute. Her long brown hair framed her narrow face, and her plump lips didn't need lipstick, they were so red without it.

But her sparkling blue eyes were what snagged me. Her eyelashes seemed to reach out and beckon to me.

She interrupted my gaze, "Say yes, Tyler."

Her hopeful smile lit up our section of the room.

"Okay," I said, hoping I didn't regret the decision, not convinced I wanted to do it.

She took my hand and said, "You won't be sorry. I have to get back to work. Let me give you my number and maybe we can go out for dinner tonight."

We exchanged numbers and as I watched her walk out of the cafe, I saw she had a bright bounce in her step. It made me slightly uncomfortable being the cause.

I took a drink and wondered how I let my guard down and ended up with a date.

*****

I walked into the house and Mom said, "I told ya so."

I stopped and sighed. Dana must've called her.

"Ma, stop getting in the middle of us. I'm not even convinced I want to go on the date. So, if you're gonna press shit about her, please just stop."

"Don't swear at me, Tyler."

"Yeah, sorry," I mumbled and walked up to my room to take a nap.

Later, I woke and texted Dana.

"I'm sorry, it was a mistake. I can't go out with you."

It felt good to take control of my life. Fuck my mom trying to manipulate me.

Dana called me immediately. I ignored the call and tossed my phone on my desk.

Her text read, "Tyler, why not? Please call me." She added the prerequisite sad face emoji.

I ignored it and went downstairs to see what mom was cooking.

"What's for dinner?" I asked. She was getting ready to leave.

"I'm not making dinner. I'm going out with your grandmother for dinner. Don't you have a date?"

"I cancelled."

"Tyler, why?"

I didn't want to blame her, not that it was all on her, so I answered, "I just can't get past not being good enough to take her to prom. I know it's silly, but it's just how I feel."

"You have to let that go, Son. She felt bad about that and still does. She's not a bad person."

"I did let it go, and I forgave her. I'm sure she's not a bad person, but it's always going to be on my mind when I see her."

"That will fade as time goes on. You haven't seen her in years, so it's still on the surface for you. Just give her a chance. What have you got to lose?"

"My self-respect."

"Oh, please. All men should have such problems--a beautiful girl desperate for a second chance with you. You should have a statue built in your image--Tyler, the martyr."

"Jesus, Ma. Lighten up."

"Whatever. I've gotten to know that girl and you're making a mistake. She's a good woman, and you'd be lucky to have her. You can make yourself dinner."

She walked out and I sat wondering why she was so gung-ho for me to date Dana. I wondered how close they actually were. It seemed more than just a casual see ya when I see ya type of friendship.

I was about to start a pot of boiling water for pasta when the doorbell rang.

"Oh, for Christ's sake," I groaned when I saw her face in the door's window.

"Dana, what a surprise," I sarcastically chirped after opening the door.

"Why did you cancel our date?" She asked as she burst past me.

"Come on in," I said to her back as I closed the door.

She turned and stood tall with her hands on her hips.

"Well?"

"Look," I began, then sat on the sofa. "I just don't think I can deal with the baggage I still carry from our prom issue."

"Are you kidding me? That's what this is about?"

She sat across from me in my dad's old recliner. No one ever sat in it, and I always wondered why Ma kept it.

"Tyler, I was a stupid young girl who had a dumb idea of what her prom should be. I'm sorry, I know I hurt you, but I can't take it back. Can't you just try to let it go?"

"Tell me about you and my mom. You're obviously close because she's pissed I cancelled the date."

She sat back and frowned.

"When my father left, my mother crumbled. She drank all of the time. She lost her job, and we almost lost the house. I made the mortgage payments out of my college fund until it ran out. By then I found a job at the grocery store."

She began crying and stopped. For an instant, I felt so sorry for her I wanted to hug her, but I snapped out of it.

She composed herself, used a tissue, then continued.

"Your mom was always so nice when I would get the mail from my mother's PO Box, and one day she saw I was upset. She, of course, had me sit and she tried to comfort me. That's when I told her what happened and that I was overwhelmed with work, school, and making sure my mom didn't kill herself with vodka."

That would've been just like my mother. She was always a sucker for a sob story.

"Anyway," she said after a deep sigh. "Your mom helped me get my mom into rehab, and stayed in touch to make sure I was eating right and going to school. She was a better mom to me than my own mother. Can I have some water please?"

"Sure," I said.

As I walked by her I touched her shoulder. It would have to do as the limit of my consoling her.

"Here you go," I said, handing her the water.

"Thanks. So, when my mom couldn't find a job, she started drinking again and I kicked her out of the house. She surprised me by not caring and shacked up with some jerk she met at the bar. Your mom again stepped up and made sure I was taking care of myself. She brought me big meals that would last a few days, like pasta, casseroles, and soup. That was three years ago, and she hasn't stopped since."

"Why did you stay in the house? Surely an apartment is cheaper."

"Not much, actually. I thought about it. It was your mom who helped me understand I already wasted my college money on the house. It would be all for nothing if I left."

"What will you do when your mom realizes she owns the house and sells it out from under you."

"She can't. Dad is on the deed with her and would have to sign off on the sale. No one knows where he is, so it's safe for the time being."

I sat back, finally understanding my mother's fascination with Dana. She became the daughter my mother always wanted.

"Listen," I said, "I was about to throw some pasta together for dinner when you stopped by. Would you like to stay?"

"Is it your mom's sauce?"

"Are you kidding me? There is no store-bought sauce in this house."

She giggled, and I had to admit, she was damn cute when she did that.

"I'd like that, thank you."

I pulled a container of my mom's sauce from the freezer, defrosted it in the microwave, and boiled some spaghetti. It wasn't gourmet, but it was delicious.

I set a large plate of pasta before her, poured her a glass of mom's wine, and sat for a plate of good old-fashioned comfort food.

She said, "Your mom won't tell me exactly what's in the sauce. I've tried to watch her a few times, but I just can't mimic the recipe."

"You've been here on Sunday when she makes it from scratch?"

I couldn't believe it. My mother never allowed outsiders in her kitchen. That was another point on the side of her thinking of her as a daughter. I was in trouble; she'd never give up on us getting together.

She nodded and playfully slurped up a noodle.

"Do you use San Marzano tomatoes?"

"Yep."

"Do you simmer it for at least four hours?"

"Uh, huh."

"And you use enough garlic?"

"Of course."

"What about the sausage and meatballs?"

"I don't like sausage, and meatballs are a pain to make, so I don't add them."

"There you go. You're missing a major part. Those meats simmer in that sauce and add flavor to it. When it's done, she takes the sausage and meatballs out, so you probably assumed it would be fine without them."

"I feel so stupid. I've watched her make it like that every time and didn't think it made a difference. I've got a lot to learn."

"Well, she'll never give you the exact recipe. It's a closely guarded family secret. The fact she lets you in the kitchen with her at all means she really likes you."

"I think she's getting arthritis in her hands. She's been asking me to come over and chop the veggies when she makes a batch."

She wasn't getting arthritis. She was spending quality time with Dana who in effect had lost her own mother. Mom was a smart cookie.

"You do see we can get along, right, Tyler?" she asked rhetorically as she used a piece of bread to sop up the remaining sauce on her plate.

"Can we? I mean, we were just talking about my mom's sauce."

She gave me that look all woman learn at a young age. The one that tells a man they're an idiot without using the words.

"Would you like another plate?" she asked. "If not, I'll start cleaning up. I don't want your mother coming home to a mess in her kitchen."

I laughed, "I learned at an early age not to leave a mess in her kitchen. I'll take care of the dishes."

"No way. You cooked, so I'll clean. It's fair."

I wasn't going to argue, so I said, "Okay, I'll dry."

She smiled and said, "Deal."

*****

After the dishes were done, I topped off her wine and poured the end of the bottle for myself.

She asked, "Will your mom be upset we drank her wine?"

I laughed, "Are you kidding? When she finds out you were here drinking it with me, she'll glow."

She blushed and said, "She thinks you and I would make adorable babies."

I rolled my eyes and said, "Yeah, she's told me."

"Are you certain there isn't a chance for us? I mean,"

Just then, the front door opened, and my mother walked in.

"Tyler, I'm home," she called out.

"In the kitchen, Ma!"

"You didn't make a mess, did you? I don't want to--Dana! I didn't know you were coming over. Are you hungry? I can make you something to eat?"

"Tyler fed me some spaghetti, Angela. He did a decent job of it too."

"Oh, yeah? Let him make the sauce from scratch and see how he does," she laughed.

I could see the twinkle in my mother's eyes as she and Dana made small talk. I was never going to live down making dinner for her. My mother would use that to harp on me about dating her, going forward forever. If I were honest with myself, the thought was growing on me.

"Well, I'll let you kids go back to your date. It was wonderful to see you again, Dana."

"It wasn't a date," I complained.

"Whatever you say, sweetie," Ma said and winked at Dana.

"I should get going," Dana said.

"Sure. I'll walk you out."

She smiled and stopped on the porch, "Thank you for dinner, Tyler. It was the best first date I've ever had."

She got up on her tip toes and kissed my cheek.

"I do like the trim beard," she said as she rubbed my cheek, then bounced down the stairs.

I watched her walk away and thought about when I could see her next.

As soon as I stepped inside, my mother said, "I told you. Did you she the way she looked at you? That girl has it bad for you, kiddo. She'll make a good wife and mother too."

"What is it with you trying to marry me off? I haven't even started my job yet."

"I don't know. I guess, I've fantasized about you rescuing her from her situation for so long, now that you're home I'm stuck in my fantasies."

"I'll admit I enjoyed being with her tonight. She also told me how close you two really are. You should have told me."

She threw her arms up and said, "Why? You'd probably have told me to stay out of it and that poor girl would have been lost. She's got no one, Tyler."

"Apparently, she has you," I countered with eyebrows fully raised.

"Yes, she has me, and thank the blessed mother I've been able to help her. She would have let the bank take the house had I not convinced her that after she put all her money in it, it would be a waste. She's not very street smart, but she's learning."

"Okay, Ma. Just back off the pressure campaign, all right? If we get together, it will be at our own pace."

She shrugged her shoulders and said, "There's no need anymore. You're together."

"Ma!"

"Whatever. I love you, Tyler. I'll see you in the morning."

She walked up the stairs humming the wedding march.

*****

The following week, I started my job and got busy. I didn't get to see Dana again because of her busy schedule conflicting with mine, so we were in a state of limbo.

That Sunday, I woke to the sound of laughter coming from the kitchen.

I did what one does in the morning, then made my way downstairs to see what the buzz was. It was my mother and Dana clucking like two hens on laughing gas.

"Good morning," I said as I walked into the kitchen.

"It's about time you got up sleepy head. Breakfast was ready twenty minutes ago," my mother chastised.

"It's only eight o'clock, Ma."

"Yes, and I've already been to church."

"You also found a lost girl on the way home I see."

Dana shrugged and said, "Your mom's making her sauce today. I'm on vegetable chopping duty."

"Lovely," I said as I slathered a piece of warm fresh bread with raspberry jam.

"The fruit is here on the table," Dana said. "I sliced it myself."

"You're quite the helper," I teased and sat beside her.

"I'm missing something," I said, and looked around. "Coffee."