Silver Arrow Ch. 10-12

Chapter 10 Finality and Reconstruction

Ten days after Diane's death we held the funeral services and burial. The plot wasn't far from our home; almost within walking distance. A lot of tears were shed that day. Diane's parents, my parents, the children, Christie, some of my co-workers, and myself. The service was mercifully short. I sucked it up and managed to say a few words without breaking down completely and Christie followed me to add some final comments about what a wonderful person and friend Diane was.

But hanging over all of us were the questions: Why was she in that motel that night? Who was she meeting? Was she having an affair or was it something entirely different?

I hadn't noticed him earlier, but as I stood at the entrance to the church and thanked those people who had come to the service, I saw him standing near the parking lot. What was Detective Etchevarry doing at her funeral? An hour later at the gravesite, I saw him again. When the service was complete and I had gathered myself sufficiently to think, I walked toward him.

"I didn't expect to see you here today, Detective."

"I hope I didn't intrude, Mr. Hansen. I was looking to see if anyone unusual might have shown up. We still have very little substantive evidence in our investigation."

"I still haven't heard anything about getting my wife's business files. Every day that goes by makes it harder and harder to preserve the business. When am I going to get them?"

"I'm sorry about this, but the District Attorney's office is the problem. They're trying to decide if there's something in the files that would help with the investigation."

"I'm not asking for anything but a copy of the files. How is that going to interfere in any way with your investigation?"

"It won't, of course, but it's not in my hands. I'll go back to them again and see if I can shake them loose."

"Please do that. I don't want to have to go to the media and make their office out to be the bad guys. I've got enough problems without that on top them."

"I understand. Please don't do anything until I can talk to the Assistant District Attorney. I'm sure they won't want any negative publicity like that."

"Thank you. I'll trust your persuasive powers."

We had a gathering of relatives and close friends back at the house after the funeral. I was quite taken with how many people had come to the funeral. It testified to how well-liked Diane was. I was also quite amazed at how controlled and quiet the children were, particularly Billy and Sandy. They were polite when people approached them to offer condolences. I was exceptionally proud of Debbie, who seemed to have matured dramatically over the past ten days.

Christie had been a great help early on, while my mother and father contributed as well. They had arrived a week ago and were living in the basement suite. I offered them the master bedroom, but they declined saying they'd be more comfortable downstairs. Diane's parents gracefully accepted the master bedroom while I slept on the hide-a-bed in the basement family room. It was a tight fit, but with three bathrooms and a bed for everyone, we survived.

Two days after the funeral, I received a call from Detective Etchevarry.

"I've finally got an okay to give you a copy of your wife's computer files. I'm sorry it took this long, but homicide investigations tend to be very tightly controlled, and I don't think the D.A.'s office really understood they were doing further damage to your family. I'm glad they finally saw the light."

"Thank you, Detective. I really appreciate your efforts. I'll come and get the files from you."

"If you've got high speed Internet, I can send them to you."

"Yes, we do. I'll give you the address."

He was as good as his word. Christie called me a half-hour later and said we'd received all the files on her computer.

"Actually, Doug, they sent more than just the business files. There's a whole bunch of other stuff as well. Some of it is personal, so I thought you'd want to look at it first."

"Thanks, Christie. I do. How about you come over this afternoon and we can get started on the business files."

"Sure. I'll see you when I get there."

Well, that was a relief. At least I could communicate with Diane's customers and let them know what had happened if they didn't already see it on the news. I could also introduce Christie to the billing customers and get them back on track. I was hopeful they'd be understanding, but since she was now fully qualified for medical billing through the local community college, I was reasonably confident that the business could be handed over without a serious loss of customers.

Diane's parents had left for their home, promising to stay in touch and inviting the children to stay with them any time I needed a break. Summer vacation was coming and that seemed the logical time to have them visit. My parents were still at the house, wanting to help me look for more continuing care for my three offspring, acting as grandparents do when they are called upon.

The children had become used to the idea that their mother was gone. Sandy would talk about missing her mother, but Billy was still very much closed up. He didn't seem to be able to let go yet. He didn't cry or act up or do much of anything. I tried to get him to get out and play with his friends, but he didn't have any enthusiasm for that. I was going to have to watch him carefully for now.

Debbie was acting the mother role with Billy and Sandy and strangely, they accepted her. Billy was only sixteen months younger than his sister and I thought he might rebel at her leadership, but I was wrong. He wasn't exactly enthusiastic about her giving him instructions, but he went along with them anyway.

Sandy was still quiet, but had adjusted better than I expected. I got the impression she was happy to have Debbie take charge. She was also responsive to Christie as well. They seemed to get along very well. Billy didn't have any problem with Christie either, so that took a big load off my shoulders.

It was getting to be time for me to go back to work. We had advertised for a live-in nanny for the children, and my parents were screening some of the applicants. I would, of course, have the final say, but I thought their input would be very helpful in making sure I didn't make a mistake. They also made it clear to me that they would stay here as long as necessary for me to get the family situation under control. That was another relief. It meant I wouldn't be panicked into making a rush decision I might afterwards regret.

I had contacted the insurance company about Diane's policy and they said they would pay out the policy only when the police department assured them that I was no longer "a person of interest." I was relieved when that assurance came almost immediately and the policy was discharged. One hundred thousand dollars seemed like a lot of money, but it wasn't when I thought about all the additional expenses that we would incur for child care over the next eight or ten years.

It also wouldn't cover my contributions to the children's college fund. That was only three years away for Debbie. There was also a benefit payment from Social Security to add to the total. However, neither the insurance nor Social Security would solve all our financial challenges.

Within two weeks, Christie had the billing up to date and was confining her work to evenings and weekends, maintaining her day job.

"Christie, you're burning the candle at both ends," I softly admonished her one Saturday afternoon.

"I don't have much choice, Doug. I'm having trouble making ends meet and I'm thinking I might have to sell the house and move to an apartment. Even if I can make a small amount from the sale, I'll have to split it with Paul. But the cost of upkeep and the fact that it's in need of some maintenance is pushing me in that direction."

"Is Paul keeping up with his alimony?"

"He's inconsistent. I have to call and remind him sometimes. It makes trying to keep a budget very difficult."

I thought about what she was facing. The fact was my situation wasn't a lot different. By the time we hired a nanny and paid the bills, we would be stretched pretty thin too. I had become reliant on Diane's income. I could see us dipping into the insurance payout and our savings over the next few years just to keep finances on an even keel.

I began to worry about this more and more, even when I resumed my job. I was caught between two situations. If I took more trips, I would be away from home more often. I didn't see that as a good thing at all, especially with my concerns for the children. But my current income was going to be pushed to the limits between the mortgage, the nanny's salary, the household costs and other expenses. I was going to be squeezed no matter what I did.

"Doug, you look down," my mother said one evening, joining me on the living room couch. What's the matter? Are you still missing Diane that much?"

"Yes, of course I am," I said, not wanting to snap at her. "I'm sorry, Mom. I'm a bit worried about things right now. I'm trying to figure out how to keep the family together and make sure everyone is taken care of."

"Including yourself?" she asked.

"No ... it's more how I can keep everything else stable. I think our financial situation is going to be tight for a while. I'm wondering if I should sell the house and move to a less expensive place."

"I don't think that's going to solve your problems, dear. This isn't a luxury home. It's in a safe neighborhood with good schools for the children. I think you should stay right where you are. Maybe there's another way to work this problem out."

"Like what?" I asked, not expecting anything.

"I've been talking to Christie. You know she's been having problems financially too. Apparently her ex-husband isn't very reliable with his alimony."

"She's mentioned it to me."

"She doesn't want you to have any more things to worry about right now. She's a very nice young lady and she and the children get along very well. I was going to suggest ... just suggest mind you ... that maybe she could be the nanny you're looking for. She could maintain her business and contribute to the household at the same time."

I looked at my mother in astonishment. I wouldn't have bet ten cents she would propose such an idea. An attractive single woman, a divorcee, coming to live with us here? Sure, Christie was a good friend, and yes she had a business that could contribute just the way it had when Diane ran it. But what would people think?

I could see a small smile forming on my mother's lips.

"You're wondering about appearances, aren't you?"

I nodded. "Yeah. I'm wondering also about the children. Would they be willing to accept her as Diane's replacement? I'm wondering most of all if Christie would even consider it."

"I'm not as old fashioned as you might think, Douglas. I don't think appearances are important in this case. What I do think is that it could solve your problem as well as hers. I've spent some time with her and I think she has the right kind of character to be a good nanny to the children. I also think she would be in a better environment here, surrounded by people who like and trust her."

"Jeez, Mom. This is a big step you're talking about. What if it didn't work out? She'd be a lot worse off then."

"Would she? She's already told me that she's considering putting the house up for sale and has been looking at alternative places to live. Isn't this a better solution for you too? You know her and you trust her. Diane trusted her. It seems to me this is the best solution. But you'll have to talk to the children first. They have to agree as well."

I sat back on the sofa and exhaled. This was a lot to think about. I wasn't going to reject it out of hand, but the whole idea revolved around the children, me, and Christie agreeing that it was a good solution.

There was something else about it that confused me. My mother was either the instigator of this plan, or a willing participant. Had someone put her up to it? I doubted it would have been my father. He might be supportive of it, but I couldn't see him promoting it. No ... the only other people who might have been involved were Debbie and Christie. I couldn't see Christie being the one based on what mother had said about their conversations. That left only Debbie.

I looked my mother straight in the eye. "Are you presenting this idea on behalf of someone? Perhaps your eldest granddaughter?"

She couldn't resist a smile and I knew I had hit the right answer.

"She didn't think I would treat it seriously so she enlisted your help," I guessed.

"You're right ... on both counts."

"Mom ... there's some danger in this, you know. Christie is a very attractive and single woman. She's some years younger than me. What if one or the other of us becomes ... infatuated ... and it isn't reciprocated?"

She laughed, genuinely mirthful at my question.

"Such big words from a bus driver," she teased. "Doug, you're still young. You have a lot of years to live and I don't want to see you spend them alone. I know it's only been a couple of weeks since the shock of Diane's death, but don't be afraid of female companionship. It doesn't have to be love. You can just be friends. But don't be afraid to have a friend. You're going to need one now, more than before."

"I guess I'd better let Debbie know her scheme has been revealed," I said with mock disgust.

"You know she only did it because she wants you to be happy, don't you?"

"Yeah. Fourteen, going on thirty. They're growing up so fast, Mom."

"That's what happened to your father and me. One minute you were ten, the next you were married."

I nodded. I might not have understood that exaggeration before, but I did now.

"Your grandmother has talked to me about having Christie come and live here and be our nanny," I began with my three children. "I won't do that unless all of you think that's a good idea. I want you to be happy and so I want you to tell me what you think. Don't worry about anything else, just share your ideas. Sandy, you go first."

"I like her, Daddy. She's nice and she helps me with things."

"So, you'd be okay if she was our nanny?"

"Uh huh."

"Billy, what about you?"

He shrugged. "Sure, it's okay with me," said without any enthusiasm.

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah. I mean, we have to have somebody, don't we."

"Okay, you don't sound like it's the best news you ever got, but you can live with it."

"Dad ... can you do me a favor?" he asked. "Will you call me Bill from now on? Billy makes me sound like a little kid."

I smiled and got one in return. "Sure, Bill. No problem."

"So, do I really have to ask you, Deborah?" I chuckled, using her full name on purpose.

She shook her head, knowing I was really only asking for Bill and Sandy's approval.

"Well, it isn't final yet. I still have to talk to Christie and see if she will do it. But I wasn't going to say anything to her until you guys said it was okay."

"Thanks, Dad," Bill said. "I guess we shouldn't say anything to her yet, huh?"

"Good point, Bill. Let me talk to her first. I'll let you all know how it goes."

I think something interesting happened that afternoon. The four of us got together to make a family decision and their opinions counted. I wasn't sure if they had picked up on that yet, but I was happy that I had included them. It wouldn't be the last decision we would make this way.

"Christie, Mom and I wanted to talk to you about a proposal we have."

I saw her look at my mother then back to me. We were sitting in our living room while the children were in school.

She didn't respond, so I plunged ahead.

"I know that you are having some financial problems right now. Mom and I have come up with a plan that would solve those for you and be a benefit to me and the children as well."

"Go ahead," she said cautiously.

"If you came and lived here as a full-time live-in nanny, you would still be able to run the billing business, have free room and board and have money left over at the end of the month."

She didn't seem really shocked at my brief proposal, so I carried on.

"I've discussed it with the children and they are all in favor of it. Mom is the one who brought the subject up to me and convinced me that it was a good idea, so you've got support from the grandparents as well as me. I don't have to have an answer now, but I'd want you to think about it and ask any questions you might have. I know it's a big decision, so think about it carefully and discuss it with whomever you think appropriate."

"Okay," she said, quite uncertain about what to say next. "I'll think about it. It would mean I would have to sell our house. I guess that's not a big thing any more since I've been considering it anyway. Where would I live ... here I mean?"

"Your choice. You could use the master bedroom or the downstairs suite. Either way, you'd have your own bathroom and privacy."

"Oh ... I don't know. I need some time, Doug ... Mrs. Hansen. It's a big decision. I'll probably have more questions. I'll let you know, okay?"

"Of course," my mother said. "You need to remember all of us are in favor of it. We'll try not to put any pressure on you to decide. Think it over and do what's best for you ... don't worry about anyone else."

"Thank you, Mrs. Hansen."

"It's Rachel, dear. Please call me that," Mom smiled.

"Thank you, Rachel."

Chapter 11 A Full House, a visit, and an overheard conversation

"Are you sure?" I asked Christie for what seemed the tenth time.

"Yes," she nodded. "I've thought it over and it's the best solution. I've been talking to your mother and she's convinced I'm the best person for the job. If she has confidence in me and you guys think I'm the right person, then I guess I can take a chance. Thank you for the offer, Doug."

"I'm really very happy you decided in our favor, Christie. We'll do everything possible to make you happy here. I want you to treat this as your home, not just a place to stay. I want you to be part of this family."

She smiled shyly and nodded.

She had chosen the basement suite to live in. While it was technically a basement, it wasn't all below grade. The lot sloped from front to back with an eight foot drop from the front of the foundation to the back. That permitted a walk-out exit, large windows and it meant a good deal of natural light compared to a conventional basement.

Our financial agreement was straightforward. We would pay Christie with free room and board and she would keep fifty percent of the billing business plus her alimony. She would have time off on the days I wasn't driving. Debbie and I would look after the meals and the housekeeping. I put a lock on the door from the kitchen to the basement to protect her privacy. If she wanted a guest in her suite, she could bring them in the exterior exit without our knowledge.

She thought I was being overly generous, but in the end we agreed to try the plan and reassess in a few months to see if it was working for both parties. When the agreement was in place, I breathed a big sigh of relief. It was the solution I had hoped for. I prayed that it was a solution that Christie could live with.

Christie put her house up for sale and wonder of wonders, it sold within six weeks. That was unusually quick in the current market. After she split the equity balance with Paul, she had nearly thirty thousand dollars in cash. The only downer was when her ex-husband came to collect the check. I deliberately stayed out of the way when they met in her suite.

It was close to an hour before I heard his car start and he pulled out of the driveway, seemingly in a big hurry. A few minutes later, Christie came upstairs and into the kitchen.