smokeSCREEN: bookTWO

"Fuck, I ain't telling anyone," Cat says.

"As if we'd want to – if everyone knew, they'd all want to touch him too," Lisa grins. Sophie's laughing.

"Pfft – we'd just turn 'em away at the stairs – that's Floor Thirteen's right!", she says.

There is the quick and final sound of a Zippo opening, lighting, and closing, all in the span of a second. Cypress has lit a cigarette. He doesn't say anything, but Lisa and I still exchange glances.

"That's no one's right," Lisa says, commanding herself to maintain a serious expression. "Saying that, let's move on – who's got a question?"

A different song comes on, demanding an uplifting change in mood, and Sophie raises her hand. I point to her, and she says,

"Okay, who thinks what about all those sores on their faces?"

"Oooh, I got theories," Lisa says.

"It's not the disease," I tell her. Cypress is shaking his head.

"No, it's not," he says. "It must be radiation poisoning."

"Radiation? What?"

"Now there was a war – we all know that – but we wouldn't have been a major initial target – the U.S. would have been. We're in Canada, and Canada is a relatively small player on the offensive military front. Chances are the States got nailed with nuclear warheads and we were more a sweep-up-clean-out operation."

We all just stare at him. Then we all start to laugh.

"Nuclear?" Lisa laughs.

"A nuclear warhead – it's like a grenade so big it would level this whole city, and then leave like, this invisible poison behind for like a million yeas. But the poison doesn't like, make you puke, it warps you on the inside. Where nuclear warheads are used, there's like six-legged frogs and all kinds of weird mutations. The poison's called radiation – it fucks you up pretty bad."

Eveyone just stares.

"Can a man ever fuck up a party," Sophie blurts out. We all laugh, but Lisa says;

"None of them had any extra limbs. Their faces were just fucked up." Cypress shrugs.

"You don't get extra limbs if you're just exposed to it. Children – the children born from parents who were fucked up by the radiation? They'd come out with no heads – or an arm sticking out the middle of their backs. Eyes missing – extra fingers… extra mouths…"

We're all very. Very quiet.

"That's what no one else gets," he says. "What the world was before the war? It was the worst it could be. …so we should all be better."

Lisa grins;

"That was a fuckin' Kodak moment; 'we are humanity's second chance – and you want us to kill each other one by one'," she laughs.

"That was wicked," Crow agrees, holding up the lighter again. "Set?"

The hookah fills with smoke, and soon we're saying very little. We're all just sitting back, listening to the music. We hear one or two women walking up and down the stairwell, but I'm keeping an eye on the door and no one's coming in. I think.

"What is this stuff?" Cypress says again.

"It's this special plant," Cat explains. "When you smoke it, you feel like this;" she raises her arms in a liquid motion, and her hands seem to dance for a moment.

"That's totally it," Sophie says. "That's brilliant."

"You feel like this now, but tomorrow you feel kinda' slow," I tell him. "So we only have floor meetings like, once every two or three months usually."

"It's like I'm drunk, but like… opposite," he says. We all grin.

"He's in!" Anze barks. Crow laughs and finds her cigarettes.

"Bowl's caked," she says, shifting up onto the chaise-lounge with Cypress. She lights two and hands one to him, while Lisa and I exchange another glance. Crow is certainly staking her territory.

"Who's got one?" Lisa says. Sophie's hand shoots up.

"You just went," I tell her. Cat raises her hand, smiling sweetly. "Cat," I say.

"Michelle – what's it like to kiss a boy?" she asks. Strangely enough, this little event coincides with the end of the CD, and Cypress gets up to put something new in. Now it's just the old Floor Thirteen, all staring at me.

"Look, it couldn't be helped-" I start, but Lisa just smiles.

"Oh, sure Mich, it happens. He probably grabbed you, threw you up against a wall caveman-style, right?" Lisa just shakes her head before asking; "So our agreement is void, then?"

"We should just set up some rules right now," I say.

"What good would that do?" Lisa snaps back. "You'd just break them again."

"Whatever – all ganging up on Michelle – I kissed him first, why aren't you pissed at me?" Crow says.

"You're a Beta, you don't have to set an example," Lisa tells her. "Maybe we do need ules."

"Rules regarding what?" Cypress asks – he's standing with his hand on the back of the couch Cat and Lisa are on.

Crow's eyes dart up, quick and cutting to his. "Rules regarding you," she says.

"Are we still on the kissing issue?"

"Yes," we say in unison.

"Much like myself, you are the failing in you own logic. Last night, after all of you got a chance to touch me, you all felt satisfied with the situation regarding me, correct?"

We nod.

"So obviously the only thing that's upsetting anyone is that some of you have kissed me and some of you haven't," he says. "Why fight about this?"

"…can I kiss you?" Lisa asks.

"Lisa!"

"Hey, the scales are tipped here," she says.

"Cypress," Crow says. "Kiss her."

It's at this point that I slip into my own mind to work a few things out. Lisa certainly won't be satisfied until she's kissed him as well, but it's not right to demand that Cypress kiss her. If Cypress wants to kiss her, does that raise questions about how he genuinely feels towards Crow and I, or does it suggest a loyalty instead to keeping the balance on the floor?

Either way, when I look up Lisa's hair is tangled around his fingers as their lips caress and tongues probe. The others are all staring, and I realize it's a shared moment for all of us – I know exactly what she's feeling – I can sense the passion building inside me again.

They press against each other for a moment or a month, before she gently pushes away and sits back down on the couch. We all take a breath and Cat stands.

Cypress pauses – as if considering if this is for the best. Is this the way it should be?

I don't know.

But she kisses him. She kisses him hard, and soon he's kissing her back as she strokes his chest through his shirt.

"What's it like?" Sophie whispers to Lisa.

"It's better than getting stoned," Lisa grins. Cat leans forward on him so much he stumbles back, but he holds her up as she falls forward and they brush lips one last time. She slips back onto the couch with Lisa and closes her eyes, breathing smoothly, as if she is prepared for an ideal rest.

"Are you alright?" I ask Cypress suddenly.

"I'm wicked," Cat smiles.

"I meant Cypress," I tell her. He grins his easy grin, but I can tell he's actually considering it – whether ot not he's okay.

"Are you guys okay?" he asks instead.

Sophie pops up beside him.

"Almost," she grins, gently moving his shoulders until he's facing her. She doesn't kiss him as quickly as Cat or Lisa – instead she reaches up and touches his eyebrows, staring. Her brow creases, but is accompanied by a gentle smile as his hand grazes her cheek. She lets her hand fall to the back of his neck, and slowly draws him down until their lips meet. Her tan, smooth Latino complexion a gentle contrast to his paler skin in the candlelight. Even from this distance, I can hear her breath begin to come in quick gasps. His hands roam from her throat to her hips to her hair, even dislodging her permanently-placed toque, though she doesn't seem to notice.

They don't kiss feircely, as Cat did, but with an easy rhythm, as if they both know they have all the time in the world.

We all stare at the pair longingly before Sophie gives him a satisfied, loving look, cupping his face with one hand and stumbling back to her chair.

Cypress sits back in his chair, and we all breathe a gentle sigh.

"Are we all satisfied?" he asks. Anze is fidgeting in her seat.

"I'm old enough," she says. "I'm almost seventeen."

"No," Lisa says. But Cypress stands and walks over to the smaller, green-haired girl.

"Well, we can't exclude her entirely, can we?" he says, reaching his hand out and spreading his fingers. Her eyes are huge as she reaches out, even trembling for a moment, to touch his skin with hers. Her breath is quickening even before they touch, and now as he softly caresses her hands she closes her eyes and lets her lips fall into a rapturous "O". Now he takes he hand and gently kisses the top of her palm, stroking her cheek once as he stands and walks back to the chaise-lounge. Crow grins as she pushes over and snuggles up to him.

"Is everyone content?" Cypress asks again.

"I'm feelin' good," Lisa says. "How 'bout you guys?"

"Wicked," Sophie says.

"Where are my smokes?" Crow reaches across Cypress to the belt she'd slung over the end of the chaise-lounge. Cypress reaches for it himself, and for a moment their faces are within striking distance. Crow grips the belt firmly and leans back, closing her eyes and stroking her lips against his. She silently lights one for herself, then hands her lighter to Cypress. "I'm groovy," she says.

"Who's got one?" Lisa's hand goes up and I point to her.

"What does Cypress think about all this?" she says. Cypress thinks about it, grins his easy grin and says;

"I'm feelin' pretty good about everything right now,"

"No, I mean about kissing all of us."

"Oh. Well… I uh… I don't want to rock the boat, so to speak. If we can all just maintain some kind of comfort level with the cross-gender touch issue, it's all good."

"Do you like it?" Sophie asks. Now our attentions are really piqued.

"Honestly?" he says.

"Well yah."

"To be honest, I'd like to be kissing someone right now. It's sort of a preferred state, like – mm…" Crow's hair closes in a shiny black curtain around their faces for a moment. And now his fingers slip through her hair, holding her softly to him. I notice something else – she's pressing against him really hard – sort of sliding her pelvis against his leg.

Grinning, she sits up and flashes Lisa a triumphant raised eyebrow as she attends to her cigarette.

"Oh – see? Now she's got's two," Lisa says. "The scales are tipped."

"Why, what do you prescribe as a solution, Lisa?" Cat grins wickedly at me.

"I'm not sure you want to keep going down this road," Cypress says suddenly. Lisa cocks her head at him.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean… things could get complex."

"Do tell," I say.

"If we're going to be like… a unit here…" He seems caught on something – or debating something to himself, before he says, "ah, fuck it – let's smoke some more."

Crow grins and finds the bag.

But Cypress's pseudo-warning serves a purpose. No one else kisses him tonight. Everyone wants to. When silences wash over the room there are moments where we all realize we're thinking the same thing. We're all staring at him.

Quickly, we look to each other and confirm that we all are. If Cypress notices, he doesn't bring it up. He just finds another cigarette, nodding his head to the beat of the music, smiling to himself and offering me a glance that seems to pass for an apology for action not taken.

Complex – that's what he said. Complex things are down that road.

But I'm not ready to pull onto the shoulder. Not yet. Not before I'm sure.

I burn to kiss him. I burn to be the one on that chaise-lounge next to him – my love for Crow aside. I burn to feel his hands on me again. And now I realize I would give anything to just… delete the others for a moment. Cypress are I would be back on the roof. He would kiss me, softly.

He would stroke my face – kiss my throat. I would pull his sweaters off.

And we explore that complex road.

As the others stare and he smokes, in the solitude of my mind, I promise myself that – if anyone – I will do these things.

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