Soybean Summer

Karen stopped her fork of beans mid-way to her mouth, and frowned.

"Oh, I'm not. Not anymore."

The lunch was really more of a full meal, and the wedge of cherry pie just about did me in. It was going to be difficult walking for the first hour or so. Karen had been quiet since telling me she was divorced. I thought I'd cheer her up a little.

"So, I'll bet a pretty woman like you has men beating down her door, don't you?"

Karen smiled a weak little smile.

"I'm afraid not. All the men I know in Chicago are either already married, or they're just looking for...well, you know what they're looking for. They think it's easy to get a divorced woman in bed. We're supposed to be dying for sex, since we aren't getting any anymore. There are a few nice men who aren't married, but they think if a woman couldn't keep her first husband happy, she probably wouldn't keep them happy either. They're all still looking for virgins, even after they're thirty. It's pretty frustrating. That's why I came to visit Uncle Jake. I figured things were quiet down here, and I could think out what I'm going to do."

"Gee, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you feel bad. I shouldn't have said -"

"No, it's alright. I'm not really sad anyway. It's more like I'm mad for wasting five years of my life on him. I was so damn dumb."

"I can't imagine that; you being dumb, I mean."

"Well, I was. Gary and I went to college together. He proposed the summer we graduated, and it blew me away. I was so overwhelmed, I said yes. We got married in August..., I'm sitting here telling you a bunch of stuff you could care less about, aren't I?"

"No you're not. I didn't know you had a degree, and that's interesting. As for the other, it sounds like you want to tell me, so I want to listen."

"Well, it does feel good to tell someone. Uncle Jake and Aunt Irene wouldn't understand, but you might. I don't have anybody else.

"Anyway, we got married in August, and the first three months were pretty good. Gary got a job at an office downtown, and the money was good enough I didn't have to work. I made a nice dinner every night, and on the weekends, we'd go to the zoo, or to the lake or somewhere else. Then, things started changing. I didn't pick up on it at first. Gary just seemed a little farther away, if you can understand that. . By January, I knew something was wrong. I just couldn't give in, though, you know? I mean, I thought maybe it was all me, all my fault.

"Some nights, Gary would get home late. He'd say there was some project he'd had to finish, and that I'd just have to get used to that if I wanted him to get ahead, to get promoted and make more money, you know? I knew he wanted that, and the money would have been nice, so I started making dinner after he got home. Then he'd complain that he wanted to eat as soon as he walked in the door. I tried calling him a little before his usual quitting time, to see if he was going to leave, but that seemed to upset him too. We stopped making love after our second anniversary. I didn't know what to do.

"He started being late every night. I asked him once where he'd been, and he started yelling that it was none of my business. He really scared me, so I didn't ask again. Sometimes when he came home, he'd been drinking, sometimes I'd smell perfume. I figured he needed something I wasn't giving him, so I tried to change.

"I bought sexy clothes, and made special dinners. I got some of those new birth control pills so I could always be ready for him. I planned weekend trips to the beach or to go skiing, so we could get away, just the two of us. He'd always either be too tired, or would tell me he had to go back to work. The last year, he barely talked to me.

"Six months ago, I decided I'd changed all I was going to, and told Gary it was time for him to make some effort. He made an effort, all right. I went to visit Mother one Sunday afternoon. I usually stayed for dinner on those visits, but she wasn't feeling well, so I only stayed an hour and then came home. When I walked in the door, I heard a woman's voice, and then Gary swore. He was in bed with another woman, in our bed with this tall, skinny, blonde woman. They were both naked, so it wasn't hard to imagine what had been going on.

"I went back to Mom's that night, and to a lawyer the next day. Then, while Gary was at work, I went to the house, packed all my clothes and jewelry, and left. The court stuff wasn't really as bad as I thought it might be. Gary didn't contest the divorce. He griped a little about the alimony, but finally agreed. It turns out the woman worked in the office secretarial pool, and he'd been sleeping with her for three years. I think he was relieved to be rid of me as much as anything. After the final papers came, I was relieved too. Now, I'm just trying to get on with my life again."

Karen made a sheepish little face at me.

"See, stupid, wasn't it?"

"No, not stupid. Not very lucky, yes, but not stupid. How could you have known things were going to change that much?"

"My degree is in psychology, and I studied things like that. I've figured out, after all this, that as long as we were leading the life of classes and study and tests, we were fine. When Gary went to work and I stayed home, we lost the structure that had kept us going in the same direction. We just didn't have anything in common anymore. When I think back, I really didn't love him, even at the start. I was really more concerned about not admitting the marriage had failed than in getting back with Gary."

"So, you're a shrink? I'd better be careful what I say from now on, or you'll call the men in white coats to come get me."

Karen laughed.

"No, I only have a Bachelor's. I can do social work, but I can't officially declare people crazy. You're not crazy anyway. You're actually a really sweet guy. Kinda sexy, too."

I saw the flash in her eyes again when she winked. Those were the most exciting eyes I'd ever seen. When I thought about it, Karen was the most exciting woman I'd ever met. It wasn't just that she was pretty; it was the way she did things, the way she treated me like a man, and the ease with which she told me the personal details of her life. I was growing to like Karen - a lot. I could have sat there all afternoon just to talk with her. Actually, I would have sat there all afternoon just to be with her. I never felt that way with Jenny.

I found myself wishing I were closer to Karen's age. Maybe then, I could ask her out sometime. I figured if I did anything like that, she'd just make some joke about cradle robbing, and say no.

"Whatca thinking about Jeff?"

"What? Oh, nothing. It's getting late and we really need to get back at those weeds if we're ever going to get done."

"Yes, I know. Let me clean up things here a little. You go ahead and I'll catch up."

By three, we had covered a lot of beans, and the sun had just about cooked us out. It must have been at least ninety-eight, and with the high humidity, it seemed like a hundred and eight. There was a sweat stain around Karen's hat, and the blouse was sticking to her back. She looked miserable, but didn't seem ready to give up. I wasn't that proud.

"Karen, I need a break to cool off."

"That sounds great to me. I'm about to melt and run out of my shoes."

Karen spread the blanket under the old maple again, took off her shoes, and sat down. I handed her a cup of water from the cooler. She gulped at the cup.

"Ahhh, still pretty cold. That's better right now than the best wine I ever tasted."

I pulled out my blue paisley handkerchief, poured on some of the ice water, and squeezed it over my back and shoulders. The water soaked into my T-shirt. I squeezed more onto my chest. The chill was refreshing.

"That looks like a good idea. How 'bout putting some on me?"

With shaking hands I sat beside her and wrapped the soaking handkerchief around her slender neck. I'm sure Karen didn't know how she looked when the water hit her skin. She shivered a little, closed her eyes and let the heat soak away. Her face looked like the face an actress makes when she's supposedly just made love to the male character. When the water ran down her chest, she sighed. I barely heard the sigh. I was too busy watching the water soak into her blouse. The grey stain spread slowly down from her collar, and the blouse was becoming somewhat transparent. It was almost like watching her undress. I could see bra straps, then the lace top of the cups, and finally, the whole bra. As the bra got wet, Karen's nipples began to show, and then got hard from the chilling effect of evaporation. She ran her hands down her chest, pressing the cool fabric against her skin. I was getting hard too, but not from evaporation.

"God, Jeff, I'm sorry, but it feels so good. I didn't realize what I was doing to you."

Shit. She had seen.

"No. I'm the one who should be apologizing for staring."

"Believe me, I'm flattered, not mad. I'm twenty-eight, and I must seem like an old woman to you. It's nice to know someone still finds me uh...attractive."

"You don't seem old. I've just never seen a woman do that before, and, well..."

"Well, what?"

"You are attractive."

"Wish my ex-husband had thought so. I used to lay awake at night wondering why he wanted that flat-chested blonde instead of me."

"He was a fool."

I never did figure out why Karen decided to hug me just then. One minute, I was facing her, both hands holding the handkerchief on her shoulders, and the next, she pulled me into her chest. My arms just slipped down around her shoulders when she pulled me tight against her. I felt her nipples poking into my chest and her cheek against mine. Her small hands slowly rubbed down my back.

"You have no idea how good it is to hear you say that, Jeff."

"Well, he must have been a fool to do that. I wouldn't have if I'd been married to you."

Karen gently pushed me back until our noses were almost touching. Her eyes no longer flashed - they smoldered. Her lips parted, then pursed a little as if she was thinking about something. Before I could ask what was bothering her, she kissed me.

This was different from when I had kissed Jennie. Karen's lips were soft, yet somehow, they managed to force mine apart. Her mouth was warm and she tickled my upper lip with her tongue. I unconsciously tightened my arms around her shoulders. Karen purred a little groan into my mouth, and then pushed me away again. She looked almost ready to cry.

"Jeff, you must think I'm terrible for doing that. It's just that I haven't been held for a long time and you were so close and...and, I like you. I'm sorry."

"I like you too, Karen. A lot. I'm glad you kissed me."

When she kissed me this time, she pulled up my T-shirt. I felt her hands on my bare back and they sent chills up my spine. The chills crashed into the sensation of her tongue on my lips, then slipping between my teeth and touching my own tongue. One of her hands slipped away from my back, found my wrist, and placed my palm over her breast. The hand squeezed over mine gently and I took the hint. Karen's nipple grew more as I gently squeezed and then rubbed my palm over the wet fabric of her shirt. I felt her sigh into my mouth and pull me closer. Her fingertips traced down my back, under the waistband of my jeans and touched my hip.

Karen stopped kissing me and looked into my eyes.

"I shouldn't be pushing you into something just because I want it. We don't have to do this, Jeff."

"You're not pushing me, Karen."

"Then, would you make love to me, right here, right now?"

"But, I don't have - "

"I never stopped taking the pill. I'm safe."

She lifted my shirt over my head and stoked my chest before unbuttoning her blouse and shrugging it off her shoulders. The bra fell to the blanket next. Karen lay back on the blanket pulled me down beside her.

I don't remember getting undressed or undressing her the rest of the way, but I do remember the feeling of her naked body against mine. Karen was all softness and she did her best to mash all that softness into every bit of me that she could manage. I felt puckered nipples against my chest and a soft arm reaching between us. She kissed me again, and this time I remembered her tongue. I found it with mine and marveled at the sweet, wet flavor of her mouth and her hungry lips. The arm slipped lower. For the first time in my life, a woman was stroking me. I felt the crisp little hairs below her belly rubbing on my thigh. And always there was the incredible soft press of her lips and the urgent caress of her tongue against mine. I was rock-hard in a second.

"Touch me, Jeff. I need to feel your hands on me."

I fumbled a lot, but with a little experimentation on my part and some guidance from Karen, things got sorted out. It was amazing to feel a woman respond to my touch as did Karen. Her whole body seemed excited. She broke away from my mouth to gasp and then I heard a tiny little moan. Her hands were all over me, feeling, caressing, gently stroking me until I thought I would explode, then moving to my back to pull me tighter against her.

My education in sex, untried until that afternoon, had been - kiss, breast, then intercourse. Karen had a different teacher, I guess. She used one hand to guide me to the place she wanted me to touch. I stroked the swell of her hip, then up her side to her breasts. Her nipple would swell tight against my palm and Karen would moan when I lightly squeezed the taut, wrinkled little bud. Then, her hand would guide me to her hip again. After a little while, I caught on to what she wanted and she didn't have to guide. I thought I was doing pretty well. Karen hugged me tight, and pulled my hand to the crinkly curls between her thighs, then lower to the soft, swollen lips of her sex. This was a new experience for me, and when my fingertip slipped between those lips into her slippery wetness, we both caught our breath at the same time.

Karen urged me to penetrate her with my finger, and then pulled the finger up to a little fold of skin at the top of her lips. She demonstrated a circular rubbing motion that I continued, and the little fold grew larger. Karen was also becoming more vocal, and began thrusting against my finger.

"God, Jeff. That's good...Oh, God..., yes, right there, Honey, right there."

She seemed to be getting wetter down there, and she was rocking her hips up into my hand. Every time she thrust against me, she gently tugged on the head of my cock, and that was driving me toward the edge. Maybe it was the groan or gasp I made each time she did this, but somehow she knew I was close. Karen released me, lay back on the blanket, opened her thighs and smiled. Her eyes were not smoldering now; they were on fire.

"Jeff, I'm ready for you. I need you inside me. Please...now."

The sensation was incredible. Wet warmth enclosed me. Tiny ripples ran over my length. Karen's hips were rocking slightly, and some deep instinct took over. I started moving in and out of her slowly and savoring every sensation I felt.

Karen put one arm on my shoulder and wrapped both legs over my back. I felt the other hand slip between us and touch my cock as she rubbed herself. Little purring sounds kept slipping through her lips until I bent and kissed her again. She seemed to want to devour me with her lips, and her tongue raced wildly over my mouth. The moans were louder now. I felt the vibrations at the back of my throat.

Karen's position let her lift her hips to meet my stroke, and she ground felt a flood of warmth flowed around my cock. Karen gasped and her face fell to the side. She gasped again, and cried out.

At the time, I didn't know women had orgasms, and Karen caught me off guard. I felt a thrusting of her hips and heard a continuous stream of quiet sounds deep in her throat. The thrusting became faster, then faster, then faster still until she arched her back and cried out "Oh, Jeff..., now...now."

I couldn't have stopped if I'd wanted to, and I didn't want to stop. When she lifted herself into me, I pushed as deep as I could and spurted. Another thrust came all by itself, and was followed immediately by the sensation of fluid jetting up my cock again. After a third, I was spent, but the feeling of her around me was so great, I kept moving slowly for a while.

Karen opened her eyes, and put both hands on my cheeks.

"Thank you, Jeff. It's been three years since..., since a man made me feel like that."

"Karen, I've never felt like that before."

She stroked my cheek with her soft hand.

"I know, Honey. I know. It was beautiful."

She kissed me again, and hugged me tight. We lay there like that for a few minutes before Karen gently pushed me off her.

"As much as I'd like to stay here with you, we need to get back to work."

I must have frowned.

"We have to finish the field, like you said. There'll be time for us, Jeff. There'll be time."

It took another two days to finish the field, but the work was a joy. We made love after lunch, and sometimes at the end of the day. It was the best three days of my life. As we walked back to the trucks on the last day, Karen told me she had to go back to Chicago to take care of selling the house.

"I'll be gone for a while. I don't know how long this is going to take, but I'll come back. I like this life and Uncle Jake and Aunt Doris need me."

"I need you, Karen."

Karen kissed me and then hugged me tightly. When she looked at me, I saw a tear slip from her eye.

"I think I need you too."

Damn my memory. Seems like I think about those three days a lot, lately, and when I think about them, I forget to watch where I'm driving. Little Jake is going to tease the daylights out of me for plowing out about fifty feet of row. He's not really little anymore, but he'll always be little Jake.

The weeks Karen was gone were torture. In three short days, I'd gone from not caring about anybody to aching with the need to see her. She did come back, and stayed to help Jake and Irene. I helped them cut those same beans that fall, and showed Karen how to run the combine.

Jake drove the truck back and forth to the elevator, and ribbed me about how high I was cutting. He thought I was missing beans low down on the stalk. I joked that at least I could see the stalks, and that the crooked rows were kind of hard to follow.

"Were you asleep when you planted these?"

"Well, young feller, my rows may be crooked, but they're my rows on my land. Some folks I know been plantin' their seed on land that ain't theirs yet. If I was them, I'd see about getting title to that land afore I did any serious plantin'. It's pretty good land, even if it has been worked a little hard. It won't do you wrong if you treat it right."

I asked her in December, on Christmas Eve. We talked about it for a long time. Karen was worried about what Mom and Dad would think of our age difference and about her being divorced. She need not have worried. Dad was eleven years older than Mom, so I was pretty sure they wouldn't object on that basis. As for her being divorced, I thought we could convince them, once they met her and heard her story. In the end, it was the age thing that bothered her most.

"But when I'm sixty, you'll only be fifty-one. I'll be all wrinkles and sags, and you won't want me anymore."

"Karen, I'll want you as much then as I do now. I promise you that. If you won't marry me, I don't know what I'll do. I went crazy the three weeks you were gone. I can't go through that again."

"I know. I almost gave it all to Gary and came back here. The only reason I stayed was to get the money so I'd have something to fall back on. I couldn't keep freeloading on Uncle Jake and Aunt Irene."

We were married in June. Irene cautioned her about divorced women wearing white wedding gowns, so Karen wore a short, ivory dress. I didn't care, she was beautiful, I loved her, she loved me, and finally we would be together forever. Forever started in the little tenant house that sat next to her Aunt Irene's flower garden.