Subliminal Obsessions

Then took a shower and used the new stuff and went to bed smelling sweet, feeling so smooth and the lotion too made my skin sort of feel more alive?

It all helped.

The smells, the feel of super silky sheets on my smooth skin my dreams were vivid and were not helping, there was something missing, something going on. I had to shut it aside and went to work.

Even works was different.

Little things, little things I noticed about some of the guys there...maybe, maybe to a lot of things.

Was I really checking them out? Did I really spend my lunch break thinking about some of the guys and myself and those videos and the hypno videos?

When I get home Sarah's not there again and I spend a night thinking still about all of this, watching more videos and looking through blog after blog about sissies and after a light supper and a few drinks settle in and once I'm buzzed more hypno videos.

Some are pretty dirty but some are...they have things like relax, be happy, be a girl, be happy, suck cock, be happy, suck cock be happy, go deeper, be a girl, relax, be happy.

And like in the blogs, in their pictures I masterbate to it all and use a cup to catch my cum and drink it down as fresh and hot as I can.

Thick, like nothing I've ever had but still not too thick, salty, nutty?

Then it's fighting the shame from doing that, another drink and determinedly to stop feeling bad about it I watch some more vids and just watch, unfocus, relax, be happy, go deeper until I start to fall asleep.

Tonight though I have a plan and download from Youtube these feminization videos and music files and take my laptop into the bedroom and plug it in and go to sleep listening to it.

The next three days are repeat it all over and over.

Though Thursday evening I masterbated twice and drank it down twice and no guilt, none, just...yeah, yeah, I liked that, I wanted it and did it.

It was time.

I went to Sarah's and if she wasn't home this time I was going to go out to the Sussex road sex shop and by myself some toys.

She opened the door and she was all dolled up, sexed up.

"Hey Mark what's up?"

"Nicole."

"Pardon?"

"I think, I think my name's Nicole. Help me Sarah I want out, I want to go deeper."

She looked me in the eyes then nodded seeing something there. "I'll help you, I'll do my best to bring you through without all the horrible shit that I've been through."

"Thank you."

She looked at me. "Are you ready to be out? Like do you care who knows?"

I shake my head. "No, not really I've thought a lot about that too and I've got nobody."

She guides me inside. "Okay first a drink, and we talk."

"Okay."

Sarah brings me inside and she makes me this drink that I've never had before with these deep brown and amber ice cubes and rum I'm not fussy with booze but that looked like a very expensive bottle of dark rum and she poured it straight over the funky ice.

"What's with the ice?"

"My rum ice cubes."

"Rum doesn't freeze."

"No there's the dark ones with a mix of a little coffee and molasses and the lighter ones are frozen ginger beer. It tastes better as they start to melt."

I tried it and it wasn't bad.

She made herself one and then she started cooking with one of those big deep frying pans and then I could smell lamb cooking, butter browning, fresh herbs? And she nuked in a big ceramic bowl pot barley and beef stock and added to that spices and then added after a fast cheffy chop that was pretty impressive added mushrooms to her frying pan then onions, garlic. Once that was like all fried and everything she poured the beef stock and barley into the deep frying pan and she tossed it all into the oven.

She took a drink and smiled at me. "I cook."

"I see that, that was impressive. What is it?"

"My take on paella only with lamb, barley, fried rosemary and mushrooms plus a few other things."

"Sounds amazing."

She nodded. "It's very good actually. Come on Nicole let's go and see to everything while that bakes low and slow."

I went with her to her bedroom and she sips her drink and she rolls some joints of that good weed of hers and tosses me her Molly tin. I took one and tossed it to her and she took one as well.

"So how'd you like to make some serious money Nikki?"

I...it was still weird hearing that.

"Uhm...more video?"

"Yeah but better, I want to sell turning you out?"

"Uhm...I don't understand?"

"I do cam work, I want to do a live special as I bring Nikki really out."

"I'm not sure..."

"Fifty, fifty my followers are all about me being a sissy girl and I think you're one too."

I swallowed hard took another drink of my rum and nodded. "Yeah...I...I want this Sarah, I found something in me Sarah that, that I can't deny."

She lights the first joint. "We do this right Nikki, we can make a fuck ton of money."

"How much is that?"

"No clue until we do it."

"Can I have a few minutes?"

Sarah took a toke and she does that holding it in talking with "Sure."

She gives me the joint and she exhales. "Keep it."

Then she goes and does things with her computer and camera and taking out other camera's too and clothes and wigs and sex toys and lube and I watched getting even more horny and aching, aching and needing...not even knowing what but still knowing what.

I am pretty buzzed but with it enough to lean forward in her bedroom chair and said. "Yes, I want to do this yes."

Sarah grinned and went to the computers and tapped away "Get undressed Nikki but leave your panties on." and spoke to the camera "Hey hardcocked lover's of mine, it's Sissy Sarah here and do I ever have news. I'm turning out a brand new sexy sissy girl named Nicole and this brave but really slutty girl agreed to let you all see it all happen."

She turned her camera to me. "Say hi to everyone Nicole."

I tried to sound lighter, sound girly and looked at the camera or sort of at it. "Uhm...hi? I'm Nicole, Nikki and...and I want to be me, I want to stop lying and go deeper."

She stopped filming and more stuff and she grinned. "I'll be right back."

She left and she came back with a tall can of Redbull and says. "Drunk, high, on E and wide awake baby girl."

I drank it down and she checked the computer and she nods. "Alright, no holds barred we show everything."

"Okay, okay I'm ready."

She started filming again introducing us again and then she took me into her bathroom.

We talked her interviewing me asking me how we got here as she orders me to poop and then flush and she fills this bladder bottle with this nozzle tip. "Sissy girls are clean, clean inside and out but especially inside...say it, over and over Nicole."

"Sissy girls are clean inside and out, sissy girls are clean especially insiiiiiiide!"

The nozzle tip went in to my bum and warm, warm water started flooding into me...I cried out. "Oh, oh...oh fuck...it...it...it's so warm, so fucking warm...ow...ow it hurt Sarah it hurts."

"Hold it, hold it feel your belly get full, so full my little sissy girl."

"Hurts...I...sissy girl...I'm aaah..."

"Sit down honey let it out."

I sat and let it go and she flushed when I was done and wiped and she did it again...and again and I'm sobbing and whining and my cock was so hard and untouched it exploded with ropes of cum.

Then it was cleaning up and she lubed up and fingered me making me moan.

"Your first time Nicole?"

"Nnngh yes, never did this, never, your fingers feel so good Sarah!"

"Does my sissy like getting fingered."

I whined out this long. "Yeeeeess...Sissy likes getting fingered, loves getting fingered."

She gets me so close, over and over and over and I'm panting, shaking even. "Fff...fuck...Sarah you're edging me, edging meeee!"

She pulls her fingers out and showed the camera. "Sweet, virgin and clean."

She tells me to shower and films that too.

Films me lotioning and then there's this whole thing with baby powder, then thigh socks and a corset that she pulls tight on me.

She put me on a chair in her bedroom at her vanity and she does my hair fixing on a wig with glue and then does my hair, then my toenails and fingernails with press on nails that she paints too.

I'm watching and I'm getting changed, transformed and feminized and made pretty, ever so pretty the make-up is last and I'm hard again and she turns me in the chair and she sucks my clitty until I cum in her mouth...she puts on a great show too sucking my clitty and then shows the camera and she kisses me as we share a cun kissey back and forth showing the camera.

"I want to suck cock Sarah, I want more than just cum I want hot cock in my mouth, I...I...been dreaming of it for days."

"Of course you are, cock is amazing, cock is wonderful but a sissy really has to feel a cock before she can honestly fall in love with sucking cock."

"I want to Sarah, I want to fall in love with cock, I want to know if I can."

"Come with me sweet sissy girl."

I went with her to the bed and she told me. "Get up on the bed Nicole, hug those pillows, keep your knees bent bottom high, repeat after me."

I did god I did and I was so fucking horny and yet spent, limp.

She took out lube and started to lube me up. "Sissy girls love being fingered."

"Sissy girls love being fingered."

Her fingers find my prostate expertly and she starts to lube me and rub, finger and moan.

"Again."

"Sissy girls L..love getting fingered..."

"Sissy girls love getting slick, getting wet."

I repeat. "Sissy girls love getting slick, getting wet."

"Again."

"Sissy girls love getting slick, getting wet."

Fuck, fuck, fuck I was so high and alert, adrenaline pumping through me as I was falling into that happy, hug me, touch me Molly high.

Sarah took out this long thick realistic fat veiny dildo from a bowl of water on her night stand and she slipped into a strap-on harness.

"When thick alpha cock touches your sissy pussy."

I feel this hot but not too hot mushroom head at my hole, she put it in hot water...oh.

"When thick alpha cock touches my sissy pussy."

She pushes in and I whine loudly. "Sar...rah!"

"When the pain is so good it makes your lips tremble."

My voice shook as thick big fucling inch after hard hot inch sank into me and I shivered, I sucked in a breath in shudders.

"Wh...when the pain is so good it makes my lips tremble."

She sinks in and bottoms out and it's so fucking hot, not burning but hot enough to hit my nerves send all these signals to my brain. "Uh! Uh! Ahh!"

Sarah pulls out and sinks back in and she starts fucking me.

My body was getting cock shocked.

My brain, my brain was flailing between this last ditch wtf resistance and joy.

It felt so fucking good, felt in my head so fucking right.

"When the cock is so good it curls my toes."

My toes curl involuntarily. "When the cock is so good it curls my toes."

She brings me to the edge and I'm shivering, crying, whining until I feel this implosion.

Something inside me spasms this incredible burst of pleasure like I'm shooting my load but deeper, that perfect fucking deeper and trying to get out through my useless sissy clitty and just rebounds through me like a tide.

I cry out. "Fuck! Fuck! Sissy! Sissygasm!"

Sarah laughs. "You feel that Nicole, you feel that, there's nothing like it, nothing, there's no going back, you feel what's inside of you as you sissy cum? What you're sissy pussy is pulsing and clenching around."

I cry out as her dirty, sexy truth takes me deeper my brain going there, my body becoming hyper aware of the perfect hard hot dildo inside my sissy pussy and I feel my heart racing and this truth pouring out of me.

"Cock! Cock! There's cock in my sissy pussy! Oh fuck it's so hot, so hard, I can fucliong feel all of it!"

"And what about the boy you?"

"I don't care, I don't care, this is meeee...this is meeee!"

Sarah started fucking me again and it's true.

She was fucking the Mark out, fucking the manhood out of me with each stroke as it was all meshing with the Molly feels and I was falling into just sexy getting fucked sissy cries as I have another sissygasm.

Sarah stops just long enough for her to set her laptop in from of my with a hypno flasher video and I know that the camera can see it because she showed it to the camera at the head of the bed that was recording me face on with all my expressions and cries.

"Just watch Nicole, just let your brain relax, ride the highs as I ride you."

I felt her add more lube and then sink back into me and I moan, long and slow as I want my lover, my thick mastering alpha cock taking me over.

Sarah says. "Let me in deeper Nicole, let me fuck those last bits of manhood right out of you."

"Yes, yes please, please fuck me Sarah, fuck the guy away."

She settles into a rhythm hard, steady, deep, hitting my spot inside as I moan and watch the flasher as it shows high speed pictures and all those words and phrases.

Sissy. slut, bimbo, be a girl, be calm, be happy, suck cock, be happy, get fucked ne happy, sissy, slut, bimbo, live for men, live for cock, be happy, be a girl, be calm, be happy, sissy, slut, have sissygasms, be a girl, have fun, suck cock, be happy, go deeper, be happy, bimbo, sissy, be happy, be pretty, be happy, be pretty, be happy, have sissygasms, go deeper...

It was this, this over and over and over streaming into my brain and firing along everything as another sissygasm rocked through me.

Sarah taking me to these long stretches of edging and that just made it all the more perfect and all the more true.

I succumb to my nature, to this me sealed away and secret as Sarah stopped after my last sissygasm and she laid down over my back panting and glued to me by our perspiration and she rolled me over to face the camera as I shivered and cried, happy, strange, high and hysterical laugh crying as I lose control repeating.

"I'm Nikki, I'm a girl, I'm a sissy, I'm a sissy, I love cock, I'm happy, oh god, I'm hap...I'm Nikki, I'm a sissy, I'm a bimbo, I'm a sissy..."

I couldn't stop the cock shocked giggles or anything else and Sarah just held me through it as I babbled into the camera until I wore myself out and she reached over and turned off the camera and moved the laptop to the floor.