Summer Romance Never Forgotten #02

Whenever he had sex with Lorraine, he always felt that she was having sex with him as her wifely duty and nothing more. She never relaxed. As if he was a rapist, she always seemed tense and even seemingly turned off by his erection. She never initiated sex. With him making love to her and being as lovingly tender as he could, she made him feel that he was groping her and forcing her to do sexual things that she didn't want to do. She seldom had an orgasm. A huge understatement, it wasn't as much fun having sex with Lorraine as he remembered it was having sex with Emma. Because of the way she viewed sex and all things sexual, seldom did they have sex.

Yet, it wasn't only just about the sex. Emma was so much more fun. She was sexy. She was witty. She was smart. She was funny. She had a much better personality and sense of humor. She made him laugh with happiness when Lorraine made him want to cry with misery. Emma was exciting and Lorraine was boring. Taller, shapelier, and so much more beautiful, Emma was a better woman than Lorraine in every way.

In the way that he saw Emma naked the first time he met her, he can't remember when he ever saw Lorraine naked. If he had artistic abilities and talents, even after having not seen her without her clothes in twenty-five years, he could still paint Emma naked. With him seeing Lorraine every day, multiple times a day but without him seeing her naked and unable to even imagine her without her clothes, he couldn't paint Lorraine naked in the way that he could paint Emma. Even after all of these years, with it so easy for him to imagine Emma naked he couldn't imagine Lorraine naked enough to paint her.

A morally modest woman, Lorraine always undressed and dressed in the bathroom. When in the bedroom, she always dressed and undressed without the light. When they had sex, never did she turn on a light. Never did she strip naked. As if she was a modestly, moral, Victorian woman from the 1890's, she lifted her nightgown and/or unbuttoned her nightgown instead of removing it.

Forget about even seeing her tits, her areolas, and/or her nipples, even after being married to her for twenty-five years, he never saw Lorraine's pussy in the way that he saw Emma's pussy the first time he met her. Just as Lorraine didn't suck his cock, she didn't want him giving her oral sex. She thought oral sex was dirty and a good way to spread not only germs but also diseases.

Definitely, with her taking nothing serious, he'd be laughing more had he married Emma. With her spontaneous and daring, he'd have more fun had he married Emma instead of Lorraine. If he had married Emma, he'd do and try new things that Lorraine would never do and try. Just as Lorraine was content to live in the same house and remain in the same neighborhood for the rest of her life, he imagined Emma continuing her world tour with someone other than him. With Emma so adventurously impulsive, she was an eternal flame where Lorraine was a dying ember.

* * * * *

Forty years after he married Lorraine, Robert stared at her coffin while mindlessly shaking men's hands and hugging and kissing women on the cheek. They all obviously thought that he was in shock. They all obviously thought that he was in mourning. Only, so terrible to even think that, he was just happy that Lorraine was in the casket and not Emma. With his internal thoughts and hope dying with her, he couldn't bear it if Emma was dead. He hoped she was out there somewhere and thinking about him in the way that he never stopped thinking of her.

Now with Lorraine gone and even before her body was buried in the ground, his thoughts were with Emma instead of his deceased wife. How dare he even think of another woman at a time like this? Yet, he did. Always he did.

He wondered who's she with and where she is now. As he always wondered before, he wondered if she's married and has children. Of course she's married. Of course she has children. Why wouldn't she? As he always wondered before, he wondered if she thought of him in the way he thought of her. Probably not. She probably doesn't remember him at all.

He put Emma out of his mind for a moment to reflect on the woman before him in the casket, the woman who gave him forty years of her life. Only with Emma always haunting him, he was never truly happy with Lorraine in the way he would have been truly happy with Emma. Just going through the motions of living married live with Lorraine while thinking of Emma, he felt trapped. He felt suffocated. He felt prematurely dead. With him always feeling tired, sad, and depressed, having no energy, and no reason now to live but for his daughter and grandchildren, he felt as dead as his wife was dead now.

With Emma not in his life, he always he felt empty, dissatisfied, restless, and unfulfilled. Now with his wife dead too, he just felt sad and lost. How could one chance meeting with a person forty years ago ruin his life? Now that his wife was dead, where did he go from here? What would he do now that the one person he had in life, his best friend, and his wife, the woman who wasn't the love of his life, is gone? Gone, gone, gone, she's just as gone as Emma and now he's alone.

* * * * *

He wondered if Emma is a widow in the way that he's now a widower. Now that her father is no doubt dead and unable to forbid her from seeing him, wouldn't that be something to rekindle their love affair after forty years? Nothing more than a dream, wouldn't that be something to find Emma again? Nothing more than a sexual fantasy, wouldn't that be something to continue where they left off and to finish what they started? Wouldn't that be something if Emma mourned the loss of him in her life in the way that he's mourned the loss of her in his life?

Only nothing more than the ridiculous meanderings of an old man's convoluted imagination, just as Emma was gone when she left the country, after sharing forty years of his life with Lorraine, Lorraine was gone from his life for good now too. Maybe Emma would be there waiting for him in Heaven. Maybe when he dies, she would be there in the white light to welcome him. With his luck, Lorraine would be there too pulling him away from his beloved Emma while hitting the both of them with her pocketbook.

Not fair. Not right. Why did he stay with a woman that he obviously didn't love in the way that he obviously loved Emma? Why didn't he search the world for Emma? Why did he give up on her just because her father forbade him to see her and shipped her off to school somewhere in Europe?

He should have chased after her but where would he had gone to find her? France? Italy? England? A working stiff living week to week and dependent on his job to exist, he wasn't rich like her. He had no money. With him traveling nowhere and going nowhere, he didn't even have a passport.

With him knowing so little about her other than she was beautiful and sexy, he had no idea where she went. After dreaming of finding someone like her, how could he allow her walk away? With the memory of her still haunting him, Emma, not Lorraine, has ruined his life. With her in his head and in his bed whenever he was with Lorraine, with him always comparing his wife to Emma, she made it impossible for him to truly love Lorraine in the way that he truly loved Emma.

To be continued...

Please give me the support of your vote.