Summer Romance Never Forgotten #03

What if she did love him at first sight? What if she had been pining over him in the way that he had been pining over her? A different time back then with no cell phones or Internet, it was impossibly difficult to find someone within the United States never mind someone who had left the country. He felt sad that he wasn't standing next to Emma at the altar instead of Lorraine.

As if he was a character in Edith Wharton's novel, The Age of Innocence, in the way that Ellen Olenska, played by Michelle Pfeifer, was Newland Archer's unrequited love, played by Daniel Day-Lewis, Emma was his unrequited love. Sometimes he felt as if he was a character in F. Scott Fitzgerald's novel, The Great Gatsby. In the way that Jay Gatsby, played by Robert Redford, never forgot Daisy Buchannan, played by Mia Farrow, impossible to forget her, yet harder to remember her as the years passed, Robert never forgot Emma.

Every time he witnessed a lover's kiss, he thought of kissing Emma. Every time he happened upon a wedding, he thought of Emma. Every time he saw a newborn baby, he thought of Emma. Every time he saw a fireworks display lighting up the sky, he thought of Emma. Then, with the noise and the colors fading from the night's sky to only leave smoke behind, as soon as the fireworks were over, he was sad. Seemingly not meant to be, Emma was gone, gone forever.

'Emma. I shall always love you,' he thought while thinking of her as if she was still in his life.

After forty years, crystal clear at first, then gone blurry, with his life with Lorraine interfering with his memory of Emma, as if she was nothing more than a ghost from the past, she was fading. Lusting over her forever, still holding his eternal candle for her in the wind, he'd die if he couldn't remember her. Loving her forever, his one true love, now that Lorraine was gone and he was free, he'd die if he couldn't hear the voice and the laugh of Emma, his lost love.

Just once, he'd love to see her again, even if only from afar. Only, now that he's a 65-year-old sexually inactive man instead of a 25-year-old testosterone filled young man, even if he found his Emma, he could do little more than hug her, kiss her, touch her, and feel her. Maybe for the first time in his life, he'd have his doctor prescribe Viagra but getting ahead of himself again, the chances of him seeing Emma again were slim to nil.

He was brokenhearted that he didn't marry the one woman that he loved and will always love. Lost in his quiet desperation, he was utterly and completely invisible. He was undone. He was finished. With his life nearly over, if he couldn't have Emma, he was done with love. Even though he lived a good life as a husband and a father, he couldn't help the inescapable feeling that he had wasted his life loving the wrong woman. He didn't want to marry Lorraine. He wanted to marry Emma. Emma was the woman he truly loved, not Lorraine.

* * * * *

"Emma, Emma, Emma," as if summoning the Devil, he said her name three times out loud for no one to hear. "Emma, Emma, Emma," in case the powers who could reveal her to him didn't hear him, he repeated her name three times again.

Having played it over and again in his mind, their first kiss was magical. That first kiss was everything. The reason why he wanted her, lusted over her, and loved her for forty years, was in that one, first kiss. Everything about that one kiss was as if he was living an enchanted fairy-tale that was prematurely taken away from him and ended forever by some evil witch. Even though she was a good wife but for the lack of sex, sense of fun, adventure, and impulsiveness, maybe Lorraine was his evil witch. Maybe Lorraine was the one who cast an evil spell on him in the way that Emma had cast a good spell on him. Maybe Emma was the elusive good witch who disappeared somewhere on that beach that day instead of her disappearing in a magic forest.

Without doubt, with all of the women he had met in his life, he'd never seen anyone as beautiful and as sexy as Emma. Indeed, with her so unbelievable, she must have been enchanted. Just as he was enchanted by the rare beauty and by the aggressive sexuality of her, he was enchanted by her first kiss.

As if he was Snow White instead of her and she was Prince Charming instead of him, with her first kiss, she awakened him from his slumber of never having loved anyone. Before her kissing him, he stumbled through his life without loving anyone, until he met Emma. Filled with passion, lust, and sexual excitement, that one, first kiss was the highlight of his existence. Filled with passion, lust, and sexual excitement that one, first kiss threatened to ruin his life and seemingly that one, first kiss did ruin his life. Still carrying a torch for her, imagining seeing her with every car, bus, and train that went by, he had loved her for forty years.

Forever connected to her, that one, first kiss was real. Forever lusting over, loving her, and missing her, that one, first kiss was special. With all of the girlfriends he has had before she kissed him, never has he been kissed like that by anyone before, even by his wife. Never has a woman evoked such power feelings of lust and love in him just by her kiss.

He wished he could kiss her again now to see if the same feeling of lust and love would happen. Would she blank his mind again with her kiss? Even though he never stopped loving her, would she make him fall in love with her again with just one kiss? With her seemingly gone from his life forever and with him never knowing the answer to his questions, he never stopped wondering about her, missing her, and loving Emma.

'Emma.'

Had he not married Lorraine, no doubt, he would have continued looking for Emma. Had he not married Lorraine, maybe he would have found his beloved. Had he not married Lorraine, maybe he wouldn't feel as lost and as sad as he was now with him feeling that he wasted his life married to the wrong woman. Should he ever meet Emma again, with her either possibly rejecting him, embracing him, or not even remembering him, at least he'd finally have had answers to his questions. At least he'd finally put her to rest and not continue to lust over her and continue to love her for the rest of his life.

Yet, had she embraced him and told him that she loved him too, they could have lived happily ever after. Yet, had he met her again, no matter if she didn't recognize him, know who he was, and/or share his feelings of love, no doubt, he'd still love her. He couldn't stop loving her. With her the one and the only, the woman of his dreams, he couldn't help himself from loving her.

"Emma, Emma, Emma."

He loved saying her name. Where is she? What is she doing? Is she sad? Is she lonely? Is she happy? Is she healthy? Is she sexually satisfied? Is she still alive? Does she ever think of him in the way he had continually thought of her throughout his life?

No doubt, she was with someone else. Surely, certainly, and without a doubt, someone who looks like her and who was so full of life should never be without a man in her life. No doubt, she was married with kids. No doubt, she was kissing someone else while blanking their mind and causing them to not only fall in love with her but also continue to be in love with her. No doubt, she had been happily married and making love to someone else. No doubt, she had been sucking and fucking another man and he had been licking and fucking her while he had been pining over the loss of her.

'Emma.'

With all of the money her father had, after him sending her off to school in Europe, she was probably traveling the world. With her loving the water, she probably was living the good life in some foreign country by the French Riviera or in some big house that overlooks the ocean. Maybe along the way, she had broken a dozen men's hearts in the way she broke his heart. Maybe in the way that he didn't stay true to her by marrying Lorraine, she gave her life to God, became a nun, and was living in a convent. He liked thinking that if he couldn't have her that no one else was good enough for her but God.

To be continued...

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