Survival

Author's Note:

This one got a lot darker than I had originally intended. Warning, there are some moments where abuse and non-consent are described, however I tried to keep it as vague as possible. Please know that I find ANY act of abuse or sexual assault as a vile and evil thing. For anyone out there that is dealing with an abusive situation, or is a survivor of such an awful relationship, my heart goes out to you. Please find help if you haven't already.

The main character wanted her story to be told, and I had to redo it three times to get it right for her. At least, I hope I did her justice. It is another story in the Castaway universe, with some familiar characters you might recognize. This story is mainly for Tammy. She followed James Holmes out to Hawaii, to work for him again at his new shuttle service, after the fallout from Castaway. If you haven't read the others before, I suggest you read them first. You don't have to, though, but there are references to previous events.

Timeline:

1. Castaway Pt. 1-5

2. Beach Bum

Thank you to SBrooks103x and Guinahart, for their time and assistance with editing this, making it an easier read. They catch more mistakes than I can count. Someday I will count them, just to share how much better they make it.

Disclaimers:

(A hat tip to one of our LW Legends for the inspiration for this disclaimer)

It's probably too long or too short. I probably don't know how to spell very well. Somewhere, a story like this one has likely already been told. If for some reason you make it to the end and still don't like it, I will gladly give you a refund.

**********************************************************

"So, Tammy, how's April doing in school?" James asked.

My name is Tamara Rimmel, but everyone calls me Tammy, or "T," for short. My last name had been Wycoff while I was married, but I changed it back to my maiden name as quickly as it was legally possible.

"Good. She's had a tough time making new friends, but I think she's finally warming up to them now. She's still happy that you came to speak to her class. Thank you for that, by the way," I replied.

"That's understandable, and it's really not a problem. Tell her I enjoyed hanging out with her."

I followed James down the dock as he walked toward his plane. I was very anxious, as the reason for our flight later was not one I looked forward to. My twin sister was landing in Honolulu and we were going to bring her here, to Moloka'i. She was going to stay with us, but I wasn't sure for how long. This could turn out to be one of my worst decisions ever, up there with getting married to Richard. At least I got my wonderful daughter out of that deal.

"Hey, Shawn, the bird ready yet?" James asked his best friend and mechanic.

Shawn looked up from the exposed engine compartment, "Does it look like it's ready yet?"

"Asshole," James chuckled, under his breath. "Just let me know when you're done. Tammy just gave us a new client to pick-up. Her sister is coming out to visit with her, so this one is family."

"Yeah, yeah, no problem, boss," Shawn replied, holding up his left hand middle finger to punctuate his response.

"Wow, you two still behave like teenagers," I said, laughing at Shawn's antics. They had known each other longer than I had worked for James. As we walked away from the dock, Shawn yelled out after him, "I'll call to let you know when it's ready."

We walked back up the dock to the parking lot where we left my little Prius, and my daughter April sitting in the back seat. As we approached, she looked up from reading on her Kindle, smiling. We got in and James turned to me.

"He should be done getting it ready soon. What time did you say Sandy got in?"

"She should land in Honolulu around three this afternoon. James, I..."

After a pause, "You okay?" he asked.

I nodded. "I will be. Thank you, again, for helping me with this. My sister and I had a huge falling out, but things change." I took a breath. "I have so many questions..." I replied, voice trailing off.

"It's okay, we'll figure it out. Anytime you need to talk, I'm here for you." He turned around in his seat, facing my young teen in the back seat. "Hey, April, what say we go get some smoothies while we wait for your Aunt?"

"Smoothies! Uncle James, you know me too well!" The energetic response was enough to make us all smile.

**********************************************************

We sat waiting at James' new bar, the Beach Bum, enjoying our smoothies. April had picked bubble gum, James naturally took his favorite, vanilla, and I got a raspberry swirl. Sitting there, I wondered if Sandy would be mad at me? Did she even want to see me? It had been nearly a year since we had spoken to each other in person. Talking with her on the phone the day before had been awkward, to say the least.

"Hey, Mom, how long is Aunt Sandy gonna be staying with us?" my daughter asked.

"Huh? Oh, I'm not sure, honey. Your Aunt and I have a lot to talk about, and we'll see after that, okay?"

I wasn't about to air my family's dirty laundry just then. Thankfully, April just shrugged, smiling. She took another slurp of her smoothie, making Howard laugh. He and James had purchased the bar together, after deciding that they didn't want their favorite watering hole to close down. It had become the meeting place for our entire extended family.

The history of how all these people became my odd family still had me shaking my head sometimes. Almost two years ago, James divorced his wife after she cheated on him, with his then-partner Cyrus. James told me bits of the story, but basically Cyrus had orchestrated a huge revenge scheme against James, and ended up getting killed by Shawn. It could have been a bad plot for a TV movie.

After James left Virginia and moved to Hawaii, Shawn followed him out to help start a new charter service. Since he was selling the relief supply delivery service he owned in Virginia, where I had worked for him, I decided that April and I needed to start over as well, and moved to work for him again.

We had to leave. I still don't believe what he did to us...

**********************************************************

I met Richard at a wedding, and it was love at first sight. He was so handsome, and charming, that I couldn't get away from him. It was like I was stuck in his orbit, the gravity of him pulling me closer. I was there as a guest for the bride, just a friend from work. Richard was a groomsman, not the best man, but still in the wedding party.

We met while waiting for drinks at the bar. Of course, I had seen him standing at the front of the church during the ceremony, but doubted he had noticed me sitting on the bride's side of the church. He proved me wrong, naturally.

"Hey, you were at the ceremony, on the bride's side, right?" he asked with a smile.

"Yeah, I'm Tamara, a friend of Brenda's from work," I replied, smiling as well. "So how do you know the groom?"

"Matt and I went to high school together, been best friends ever since. So, how long have you been friends with Brenda?"

"Oh, we're not very close. I just work with her at the bank, and we all got an invite."

"Well, I'm sure she only invited the people that she really cares about," he replied smoothly.

Our drinks arrived, and for some reason I followed him to a table on the side, where we sat and talked for an hour or two. I lost track of time. All I know, is that by the end of the evening, I had given him my phone number, with a promise that he would use it.

He stood with me at the door waiting for my cab, when we had our first kiss. There had been electricity in that kiss, a spark that would ignite the fires I had been feeling all night for him.

We dated for a while, but both seemed to know that we were a perfect match. He hardly argued with me, and I rarely found reason to get upset with him. I wish I had realized that at the time that I'd just gone along with whatever he said or thought, but I was so in love at that point, that I would have followed him anywhere.

Fast forward four wonderful years, and things began to turn. Shortly after our own wedding, we got pregnant! Well, okay, I got and stayed pregnant for nine long-assed months. His main job had been to rub cocoa butter on my belly. At the end of all that, was the most wonderful little baby girl in the world. She was so beautiful, I couldn't help but cry. Richard was just as happy, and minus all the sleepless nights and cleaning up after her, our little April was worth it.

Richard had gotten a promotion at work, and was now in charge of a larger group of people. I didn't fully understand his job, but I knew he worked with investments and money. A few days before her fourth birthday party, he was called into work.

It was a warm Saturday. That day will be hard to forget. April had been playing, and fell asleep on her blanket. I watched her breathe, lying on the floor in the middle of a toy minefield. Sitting on that couch, life didn't feel like it could get any better. I had stopped working to raise our little angel.

Being a stay-at-home mom was something that I was enjoying. Work had served a purpose, but being a receptionist had never been my passion. Seeing my baby grow up, was more rewarding than anything I had done before it.

I heard Richard pull into the driveway and shut the car door. He came into the house quietly, set his things down, and walked towards the bedroom to change out of his suit. He had left the house looking worried, and now he just looked defeated. I checked on April again, and walked back towards my obviously upset husband.

"Hey, wanna talk about it?" I asked.

"No," he answered abruptly.

Taken aback, I stood and slowly rubbed my fingers over his shoulders, trying to relax him. He moaned for a second, then stiffened up. He shrugged his shoulders to get me to stop, then turned around.

I will never forget the look in his eyes that day. I had never seen anything like it, almost like there was no soul behind them. He grabbed my arms, hard, and shook me.

"You will leave me alone. Do you UNDERSTAND ME?" he yelled.

"Rich, honey, what's gotten into you? You're scaring me," I replied, more afraid of him than I ever had been before.

Instead of a reply, he slapped me across the face. The hit stung so much, I saw stars for a few seconds. I remember thinking, 'What the hell just happened? Did he really just hit me?' Eventually, I broke down and started crying, falling to the floor at his feet. Crumpled there, I let go.

Richard immediately got down on the floor with me, and tried to comfort me. "Oh my god, I'm so sorry. Baby, please, I don't know what just came over me... Please, I'm sorry... It's just, I'm under so much stress..."

Honestly, at the time it was easy to believe him. I wanted to believe him. He couldn't be a bad person, how could he? He was the nicest man I knew, and I loved him with all my heart. I forgave him, and he promised it would never happen again. Until it did happen again.

He had become more withdrawn, as each day passed. He would come home from work looking more tired and haggard. That Friday, he came home and was smiling for the first time since that horrible night. We had a normal family dinner, and he seemed like he had finally shaken off whatever was bothering him.

About two months later, he came home on a Monday, again looking like something was bothering him. That time, I decided to let him come to me if he wanted to talk about it. He didn't come out for nearly an hour, and when he did, he looked better but still wasn't saying much.

"How was your day?" he asked, as we sat down to eat dinner.

"April and I did some finger painting, and she helped me do a load of laundry," I replied happily.

April decided that was the moment she needed some more attention. "Me and mommy made a picture, daddy," she said.

He turned to me and growled. I was totally confused, as her comment had melted my heart. His look at me was one of anger, and I couldn't understand why.

"What's the matter, honey?" I asked.

"YOU! That's what! She's four now. Shouldn't you be preparing her for pre-school by now? GOD DAMN IT!"

He slammed his hands onto the table, stood up and walked around it towards me. He was scaring me, and I told him so.

"Rich, you're scaring me, honey," I said, in a quivering nervousness.

He stopped in front of me, looked over at April, then back to me. His hand flew across my cheek before I had time to process what happened. The second our daughter started crying, he dropped to his knees next to me, and started bawling into my arm. I was so stunned by the sudden events, that I sat frozen in place.

Once the stars cleared from my vision, and the ringing subsided in my ears, I heard him begging me to forgive him.

"Oh my god... I'm so sorry..." he cried into my arm, getting my sleeve wet.

Any anger I felt from the sting to my face, was replaced with a deep sense of sadness for my husband. Whatever was bothering him at work, was really taking its toll on him. I felt it was my job to be there for him, and it was a job I took seriously, having committed myself to him for better or worse.

I lost count of the number of times his mood shifted from joy to anger, but the shifts continued for several years. By the time April was ten, he learned to wait until April was out of the room to strike me. I had become such a robot to it, that the pain was almost expected. He had also started hitting me in my stomach or back, where I was less likely to bruise visibly.

Why was I still with him, anyone sane might ask? To be honest, I still don't understand how I let it go on as long as I did.

**********************************************************

"Thinking about that asshole, again?" asked a sympathetic James, breaking into my thoughts.

I just glared at him, as April giggled. James at least had the decency to look ashamed, but just shrugged his shoulders. He knew most of my story. I hadn't really told anyone else of my troubles, but was able to confide in James. He and Tanya had been helping me through some dark times, lately.

"What asshole?" asked Howard, completely oblivious to the glare I had just given James.

"My ex-husband," I said flatly.

When I didn't say anything more, Howard turned to James. "Is everything okay?"

He was slurring less and less these days, as he slowly curbed his drinking. Either that, or he was just consuming it slower throughout the day. I was happy for small miracles, as he had become a kind of Grandfather figure for April. She needed good male role models in her life.

After an uncomfortable silence, I cleared my throat. "Richard didn't take me leaving very well, but thankfully that's over."

When I said nothing else, the conversation quickly changed to James and Tanya recently returning from some movie set in Australia. They had been gone together for nearly a month of filming, or at least that's what they had told everyone. It was funny watching them trying to be sneaky about their private time together. We all knew the craziness of their relationship, and their age gap, but it was heart-warming to witness regardless.

James' phone buzzed with a text, apparently from Shawn. I couldn't put it off any longer, the time had come for us to fly to the big island. To say that I was tense would be the understatement of the year. There was a lot to say, but no easy way to say any of it. I just wondered if my sister and I could find a way to put things back together between us.

We got to the dock, and found Shawn loading one last package in the back compartment, before waving us over. I was shaking, my nerves standing on end. I think James could sense my nervousness, and gave me a knowing smile.

"April, you wanna sit up front with me?" he turned and asked my daughter.

"Of course, Uncle James," she happily replied.

Thank god for James. He really did love April like a favorite niece. James was about the closest to having a brother, as I ever had in my life. My sister was my only sibling.

We climbed in and took our seats, April already donning the spare headset so she could talk to the air traffic controllers. James was teaching her all about flying around the islands, and she had gotten to the point where she called out their takeoffs for him.

"This is November-four-five-zero-tango-romeo, taking off from Kaunakakai Harbor. Any craft in the vicinity please sound off," she said, rather authoritatively, I thought very proudly.

"Very good," James congratulated her, after she clicked off the mic. "Next thing you know, you'll be flying us everywhere and I can start planning my retirement."

April smiled, and giggled at his teasing. The rest of the flight was straightforward, and we were soon on approach to the Honolulu airport. Again, my fearless daughter radioed in our approach to air traffic control. I was so proud of her that I nearly started crying right there. She had come so far since leaving Virginia.

We went to the terminal and waited at the arrival gate for my sister. Since we came into the terminal from a plane, we didn't have to wait outside the security checkpoint. I almost wished we had, it would have delayed seeing Sandy again. We walked up to the gate as the steady line of people de-planed, searching each as they came out of the ramp doorway.

"Hey, T," I heard her nervous voice, before I saw her.

Turning around, there she was. Still as beautiful as I had remembered, my sister stood with glossy eyes, not saying anything else. I both wanted to choke the shit out of her, and hug her tight. It was still eerie to look at her, like looking into a mirror. The only major difference between us was our hair color. She clearly still dyed/highlighted hers in an hombre style, while I preferred to stick to my dark chocolate locks. We both had the same mixed color skin, light-skinned thanks to having an interracial couple for parents. For us, having a white Dad and a black Mom just meant that we had twice the love in our family.

"Hey," I tried to reply calmly, despite my nerves. "Let's go get your bags."

Not much more was said, as the awkward moment hung in the air. We all turned and I led the way to baggage claim. I started thinking of all the questions I wanted to ask her, but as each one came to me, I almost as quickly shot it down. Did I really want to know what started it all? Why she, my best friend and twin sister, started an affair with my husband? Did I even care, knowing what he was capable of? Thankfully, I didn't need to worry about starting a conversation as my precocious daughter spared me that duty.

"Aunt Sandy, how long are you gonna stay with us?" she asked.

"I don't know, sweetie. It really depends, I guess," she answered, as we waited by the rotating baggage claim carousel.

"Depends on what?" asked April, in the persistently curious way that she always did.

Glancing at me, she replied, "I'll tell you what. I'll stay as long as you guys let me, okay?"

"Really?" April asked, smiling at me.

What was I supposed to say? I really wasn't looking forward to that talk with her now. My daughter had her own demons, but she didn't know the full truth about her father. I was determined that if I was going to tell her, it would be years later as an adult. Her part in everything had been horrible enough, without having to worry about everything else he did.

"We'll see, April. Your Aunt and I have a lot to talk about, okay?"

"Okay, Mom."

Sandy grabbed her bags as they came by on the conveyor, and Shawn immediately grabbed the largest of the two, while my sister carried a smaller bag over her shoulder. The flight back to Moloka'i was consumed with my energetic daughter, regaling Sandy with tales of her adventures here. Thank god for miracles.