Tantric Massage Pt. 01

My name is Evan. I'm 5' 11" with blonde hair that curls just below my collar. My tummy has ten extra pounds that I'm trying to lose, my shoulders are broad and I have chest hair that is trimmed on a regular basis.

I've been married for thirty years and never cheated once. My son and daughter are married and I recently became a grandfather.

My wife is wonderful and we enjoy each other immensely. However, menopause and health issues have lowered my wife's libido to almost nothing. Prior to kids we had sex almost every day and when kids came along it dwindled to two or three times a week. That has now been reduced to once a month, if that.

I'm not sure if the availability of internet porn is a blessing or a curse, but my porn watching time increased as my real sex life decreased. At first I would watch girls masturbating and then my interest changed to lesbian sex. This followed with heterosexual sex. I loved seeing a cock rubbing a wet, pink pussy and then sliding in. Although the female orgasms were sometimes faked, it was arousing to see their hips move and see a mixture of female and male cumm drip out.

Anal sex was new to me and I loved watching as a cock slid into a fairly small hole. I imagined there would be a degree of pain, so the sounds from the female may have been real. In any event, watching anal sex made me completely horny. I almost begged for my wife to try, but she flatly refused. Her last words on the subject were, "How do you think you would feel getting something so big shoved up yours."

The next time I watched anal sex, I imagined I was her, letting the male porn star finger my bottom, wet it with lubricant and let rub his cock-head over my entrance. In unison, her and my moan filtered through the room. I imagined the fullness as his cock slid inch by inch into her and how satisfying it must have felt as he stopped, letting her get used to his fullness.

She felt his balls slapping against her, over and over again. A reminder that he was the man and his intent was to spill his seed inside her.

Normally the male star would pull out and masturbate, spurting on the wide open hole, but this time he pushed in deep and his balls stirred with each spurt. My cock had been tingling and the pressure of that tingle grew until I lost my breath and a geyser erupted. I hadn't spurted that high and with such volume since my teens.

The evidence of my reaction to the video was displayed before me. Puddles of creamy wetness, from a watery texture to thick pools. My fingers spread it around and I licked the largest pool into my mouth.

In that moment, I realized that I not only wanted anal sex like her, I wanted to be her. I wanted to have a cock slide into my pussy, to have a cock in my mouth and not be considered gay. To have anal sex, knowing what a kinky, special gift that would be to offer a man.

For months I watched girls being fucked in the pussy and ass, wishing that I was them. To walk out of the studio a little sore, but knowing I wasn't gay.

Searching on anal sex resulted in both heterosexual and gay scenes and I always avoided the gay ones. Imagining being a female and receiving anal was one thing, but watching two guys together was another.

I refined my search to sensual amateur anal sex and as usual, a huge list appeared. I randomly clicked on one and this brought me to a site with a screen of individual clips. One title intrigued me, as did the thumbnail image and I double-clicked. However, I mistakenly clicked on the thumbnail underneath and the screen filled with a man's bottom and his anal entrance, puckered and pink.

I was about to click the X and leave the page, but a finger appeared and softly touched the hole. I puckered in response, relaxed and watched the finger lightly trace circles. The touches were feather light and I was sure these men weren't actors, but real life lovers.

The finger touched in such a way that the puckered skin tightened and then relaxed over and over. It was not a virgin bottom, it was one that was used to a gentle touch. It was so sensual that I felt my muscles squeezing and then letting go in unison.

The finger disappeared from the screen and was replaced by a shimmering wet tongue. My body tightened and shivered when the tongue delicately swept over the opening. I imagined that bottom was mine and my pink skin was being massaged with his talented tongue.

Soft swipes mixed with a tongue that became pointed and pressed into the entrance. My cock dripped precum and my ass imagined it was being licked by a male lover. I rubbed over the seat of the chair, loving this fantasy and yet hating it wasn't happening for real.

The tongue disappeared and was replaced by the head of a cock. I whimpered and raised my hips at the same time as the man did. I felt it touching my hole, rubbing in search of the centre. He teased me with it and the desire to be filled became so overwhelming that my body shivered over and over.

My body orgasmed at the thought of being penetrated. Not roughly shoved in, but entered with care and consideration. The head disappearing and held there.

Inch by inch slid inside and my precum dripped down my cock and over my ball sac. I felt it at my hole and used it to lube my finger. Once fully in, the man paused and then moved just slightly. Minutes later, he moved his hips until most of his cock was exposed and then went slowly in again.

He did this over and over and my fingers moved to his rhythm. Then he held deeply and moved ever so slightly as his breath quickened. The sound of his orgasm was electrifying and his balls pulsed, showing that his seed was spurting into his lover ... into me.

I started to cum. Not a shooting explosion, but a steady flow, similar to my wife's orgasm.

His cock was soft when he pulled out and a wet creamy stream followed, proving the love he had pulsed into his partner. For the first time, I wasn't a female receiving anal, I was a male craving it. For days I thought those images would pass, but they didn't go away.

Over the next several weeks I played with my wife's dildo. Holding it, rubbing it and even kissing it. Always ending with rubbing it over my entrance. My warm-up kisses grew into my lips sliding down it and using the wetness to rub over my anal opening.

My porn searches of women sucking cock changed to men sucking cock. I became the man sucking the cock, letting men spurt into my mouth and onto my face.

On a Friday night my wife and I went to bed at the same time and she surprised me with a blow job. I loved the feeling, but I imagined I was her and it was me licking and sucking my cock. I silently cursed being born a male, when I could have been born a female and sucking would be a natural act of a woman to please her man.

But, I was a man, slowly admitting that I wasn't a female and the only way to please a man was by being a man who desired a cock. Over time that happened. My fantasies were of me as a man, pleasing another man ... orally and anally. The thought of being bisexual both scared and thrilled me. At puberty I felt different than the other boys and now I knew why. I was a boy, attracted to boys and now a man, attracted to other men.

I read about men who were bottoms and their opposites ... tops. I needed a male, but not any male. I needed a man who was a top and not only a top, but a dominant, top male. I admitted to what I should have known a long, long time ago. It's possible my wife's waning sex drive was not entirely due to her. Perhaps she realized before I did, that I was a bottom and submissive bisexual male.

I searched Craigslist and most of the postings frightened me. I searched on massages and a page of ads appeared. Most of the ads were for female massagers, but one was a picture of a male with the heading - Tantric Massage. I clicked and a professional looking web page appeared. After reading the first sentence I knew I would contact this man.

End of Part 1 ... Part 2 to Follow.