Thank You. Dr. DeHoff

Gail's cell phone rang and upon concluding her conversation said that her husband Doug was bored to death and wanted to return to the city early. Karen told her to invite the two of them over for a drink and that we could all go out for dinner when the guys returned. He grudgingly agreed and soon five of us were watching the setting sun. Doug was an accountant and the only figures he was interested in manipulating were in columns. I hoped never to live long enough to lack interest in a woman like his wife or the wife of the good doctor.

Though more interested in the "adult" side of the conversation, I was trying to include Diane whenever possible. I noticed that she did not have a drink, a trait that has saved many a co-ed from ruin. Though I had not actually paid that much attention to her, she too was quite lovely. She had her mother's stature and beauty, and, with the exception of being quite shy, would be an excellent college sweetheart.

About the edge of Doug's impatience, the intrepid sailors returned. They were blistered beyond belief, had gone through both bottles of tequila, and were in serious pain. They were suffering from a combination of sun and alcohol poisoning. All they wanted to do was to undress, shower and head to bed. Dutiful wife that she was, after her men had showed, Karen put lotion on their bodies and sent them to bed.

"Sadly", Richard said that he would keep Karen up with his moans so he told her that like it or not, he was going to take my bed and I could either share the bed with her or find my own damn place to sleep. He never wanted to sail again and he and Paul may not even come back next weekend. Upon hearing this "bad" news, Gail, Karen and I outwardly grimaced keeping our lips closed lest the shouts of joy be heard down the beach. Upon hearing this news, Doug announced he was going to grab a snack, go to bed and would also be leaving early in the morning. "Thank you Dr. DeHoff, Paul, and Doug."

As tense as the evening before had been, laughter was the tone of this evening. Having had several cocktails at the cottage, the three of us declined the offer of a drink, leading Diane to pout. Giving into her insistence, she was allowed to order a cocktail and she seemed to be much more at ease than before. A band began to play and we enjoyed both collective and individual dances. Walking back to the cottages, I felt Karen hesitate as we neared the site of our first real embrace. Feigning a shell in her shoe, Karen asked that Gail and Diane walk on. Placing my hands on her breasts, she whispered, "Ready for lesson three?"

Arriving at our respective cottages, Karen gave Diane a kiss on the cheek; Gail gave me a kiss and embrace that affirmed that her nipples were stiff and available; Gail and Karen shared a quick kiss leaving Diane and I doing the handshake / hug dance known so well by novices. Seeing our distress, Gail asked Karen if she would mind slipping into her cottage to see a purchase made that afternoon. With some sense of confusion then understanding, she assured her that she would. Turning to the two of us, Gail suggested that we walk for ten minutes or so allowing her time to show Karen her purchases and to also give her time to make appropriate sleeping arrangements for me.

Reaching for my hand, Diane and I began our walk down the beach. We found ourselves holding hands and sitting in silence as we watched the lapping waves and bright moonlight from a rise. Turning to me she asked me if I wanted to kiss her. I told her that I did. While both of us were initially tentative, we both soon found that what had been a source of concern was now a source of pleasure. Taking my hand, she moved it to her breast and sighed. Instinctively reaching down, she touched my penis and again sighed. "Did I do that?" she asked. When I said she had, she replied, "I am glad because I did not know that I could do that to a man." Assuring her that she could and had probably done so many times before, the moon seemed to diminish as she kissed me again and positively glowed.

Upon returning to the cottages she gave me a kiss, rubbed her charming breasts on my chest and told me that she was glad that I was not like that jerk Paul. She said, "You make me want to kiss you...you make me want to show you my breasts...I even think that I may want you to make love to me." With a sigh and once last hug, she dashed up the steps to their cottage.

As I walked into our cottage I was greeted by Karen who was placing a pillow and a blanket on the couch. "Don't worry", she said, "it's just for appearances, that is, unless you have changed your mind." My deer in the headlight look made her laugh as she shared that in addition to lotion, and pain killers she had provided both her son and husband with some serious sleeping aids. She continued that they would probably be out until mid-morning so I could relax.

Knowing what was about to happen made both us more reserved. Instead of hopping into bed and having a collective grope, we removed our clothing, got on the bed, but initially simply held hands. Again sensing her desire to share something with me, I said, "Tell me what is bothering you." Her response still brings a sense of well being to me these many years later. Very quietly she shared that she had met her husband in high school, they had dated throughout college, and that he had taken her virginity on their wedding night.

Continuing, she said that in her lonely state she had allowed several men to kiss her, and once had actually undressed and was preparing to have sex before she came to her senses and left. With a sigh, she said that in her entire life she had only had intercourse with her husband. We were about to embark on a new voyage and she was both happy and sad. Her words had removed all barriers to our happiness and we took our next steps to bliss. Then the damn buzz of her cell phone took us from our reverie. Answering it I heard but one side of the conversation which was essentially:

No, I have not had a chance to ask him

No, we have not made love but were about to before the phone rang

Yes, I promise that I will ask him

Right now?

Turning to me she said that it was Gail. She wanted to know if she can bring coffee by first thing in the morning. I replied "Why call at this time of the night to ask that?" Her response was that in addition to coffee she wanted to bring something fresh, hot, and sticky for you to enjoy. Picking up the phone I told her to go to bed as she would need her rest if I had anything to do with it. With a click the conversation ended and lesson three began.

I was on my way to becoming a lover who would be in demand. Our movements became one and our demands of each other seemingly were met with little or no verbal communication. While expecting that there would be some pause before she allowed me to enter her the first time, there was none. It was a natural progression of kissing, fondling, probing, and consummation. I confess, it gave me great pleasure to know that this woman wanted me and had singled me out to share her pent up passion. Of equal joy was the knowledge that neither the father nor son had any clue about the sensual and giving nature of a woman they so callously ignored. With the light of early sunrise, I carefully washed myself and got on the couch. I was exhausted.

Over the years I have found that at times Karen was solely focused on the intellectual side of our love making while at other times it was raw sex. While we made love many times, intermittent fucking provides an enjoyable diversion.

Gail did come over that morning, took one look at me and went in search of Karen. The two embraced, shared mutual congratulations on a wonderful situation, and promised that while Gail would not have her turn quite yet, it would soon occur. Yes, she had brought coffee and something fresh, hot, and sticky for me to enjoy. Though declining that morning, Karen, Gail and I have established times for their individual and our mutual enjoyment.

Eventually Diane was brought into our endeavors and as one may suspect, she was one who really enjoyed sex. I know that this is so as we married and now have a son and daughter. She had not one but two matrons of honor, Gail and Karen.

That summer was memorable for many reasons. Paul, his dad, and Gail's husband Doug began to hang out and seldom bothered to call much less return to the cottages. Initially, Paul would call and accuse me of being a candy ass and suggest that I was never going to get laid. Once when he called, I took the call while Gail was astride me and I was enjoying those lovely puffy nipples. Over time, even those calls stopped.

Several days after the infamous sailing trip two young women came by to share that they had now had canker sores and thought that the man and his son would like to know. Not a week later, a call from the local health department in the city revealed that the three amigos had shared a woman who had either given or had been given an untreatable form of syphilis. Divorce proceedings were commenced, the houses in the city were given to the guys and the women kept the more affordable cottages and sacks and sacks of money.

That was the summer that I finally identified the logarithm that would allow one to reasonably predict the sequential responses in standardized tests. Today I live off of the franchise, licenses, and royalties from these reasonably simple mathematical formulae. If you have taken a course to allow you to perform better on the LSAT, SAT, and GRE, you probably have supported my life style.

With my financial success, I have indulged myself by creating a foundation for syphilis research. To share that I truly appreciate the many lessons that Paul and his dad provided to me, I award a scholarship to a member of their fraternity each year and solicit applications from potential recipients at every athletic event. While one would expect them to be grateful, it appears that the naming my foundation The Richard and Paul DeHoff Center for Syphilitic Research has somewhat slowed the influx of women wanting to learn more about their fraternity members.

We have torn down the two cottages and replaced the two with one more in keeping with our comfort and needs. The children share a wing with Diane and the term "Mother-in-Law" suite has taken on new meaning. Diane understands my weekly visits to their wing.

Karen will always be my first real love and our time together is typically one of calm yet passionate love making. Gail will always be the one who expanded my knowledge. What we do could hardly be considered "making love" though I promise that it will change your life as much as a session of passionate love making. Diane and I will continue to work our ways through the book 365 days of Copulation Positions.

As I reflect on that magical summer of 1978, time and again I want to thank you Dr. DeHoff, Paul, and Doug. The summer of 1978 lives for me today and much of it is due to those males like the three of you who ignore their wives and sweethearts allowing someone like me to enjoy the fruits of your ignorance.