That Old, Familiar Feeling Ch. 03

It wasn't like it was impossible. Nothing was impossible, right?

It would explain a lot. Not just about her current situation, but about her history up until that point.

And Garnet was SO certain. Granted, he was a little...naive...but certainly very clever. She couldn't casually dismiss his expertise in this area.

So...maybe?

Maybe her anxiety disorder wasn't a psychological illness - she was a perfectly healthy and well-adjusted Daemon.

Maybe she hadn't been infertile - it was just that Daemons couldn't conceive with humans.

Maybe she hadn't lied to Garnet during the oath ritual - she'd been perfectly honest but was ignorant of her own heritage.

Maybe she hadn't been shamefully overcome with lust for a much younger man - she'd formed a Pact and her primal feelings were the natural result of that intimate connection.

And now...maybe she couldn't find the will to bring herself off - because a Familiar couldn't defy her Master's wishes under the terms of the Pact.

One after another the pieces slid into place.

It made a lot of sense. In fact, when she added everything up, it was the most likely explanation!

The shock of the realization took the edge off her lust and she lay wide-eyed with wonder in the darkness, her sleep-deprived mind revisiting all the hardships she'd experienced in her life, viewing them now through the lens of her Daemonic origins, seeing connections that had once been hidden.

Suddenly she began to laugh, the sound echoing in her empty bedroom. How foolish she'd been! All the signs had been there, right from the start. But instead of seeing the truth, she'd blamed herself for her perceived shortcomings, listened to others when they'd criticized her, let them repress her. She'd let them label her as crazy. She'd internalized their words and they'd twisted her into something unnatural - an unhappy Daemon mockery of a human being.

Thank God for Garnet! He'd been the one to save her. The only one to see her and care for her as she really was. The man who could guide her and teach her and help her realize the potential of her true self - and help her to un-learn all the nonsense she'd been force-fed in her human life. A more worthy and perfect Master she couldn't imagine.

She was a Daemon!

She sat up in bed, buzzing with joy. She wanted to see him. Needed to see him. To feel him. She bounced out of bed naked and groped in the dark for a robe, then paused. Did she need a robe? She wanted to be naked for him, all the time. She'd admitted it earlier that night. She abandoned her search and opened her bedroom door. Modesty was a human trait - a needless and tiresome one.

His door was closed and she knocked eagerly. When she heard a disoriented mumbling she opened the door and stepped into the dark room.

"Monica?" he groaned in a sleepy voice.

"Yes Master," she whispered back, not yet sure what she wanted to say but certain that it was right for her to be here, with him, now. The room was alive with his presence, his energy.

"What's wrong?" the Knight still sounded more sleepy than concerned.

"Nothing. Everything's fine. I just...needed to be with you right now. Is that okay?"

There was a long silence. She wished it was light enough to read his expression.

"It's three-thirty," he said. His tone was puzzled, not scolding.

"Yes, I know. I'm sorry it's so early. I felt like it couldn't wait."

Another silence.

"Are you sure everything's okay?"

"I feel better than I've ever felt. Really, really great. So I wanted...I needed to be here." She realized she wasn't making sense but somehow couldn't find better words to express the magnitude of elation she was feeling.

"Did...did you want to sleep here?"

"With you?"

"Yeah."

She didn't need a second invitation and crawled into his bed, delighting in the heat of him against her cool, bare skin. She pressed against him, her face against his shoulder, and inhaled his scent. Her contented sigh sounded loud in the quiet room.

He was still for a few minutes.

"Are you sure you're okay?" he asked again.

"Yes Master. Everything's perfect now. Thank you." She clung to his arm and kissed his shoulder. She felt warm. She couldn't remember a time when she'd felt such profound peace. Sleep came quickly.

*

She awoke to the sensation of her Master gently releasing himself from her grip on his arm and sliding out of bed naked but for a pair of black briefs. She watched through half-lidded eyes, and even in her sleepy state admired the firmness of his torso, legs and backside.

She smiled and snuggled deeper into the sheets as he pulled on a pair of jeans. Bare-chested, he turned to regard her with an amused expression.

"What got into you last night?"

"What do you mean, Master?" she replied with a satisfied grin. It felt so good to be naked under warm sheets. They smelled like him.

"I mean with the early-morning visit."

"I just felt really good last night, and I wanted to be close to you."

"Why?"

"Why did I feel good?"

"Sure, let's start there."

"I think your presence always does that to me. It's my favourite thing."

His brow furrowed into a puzzled expression.

"Is everything okay?"

She nodded. "Everything is perfect. I've never felt this good."

"You're acting...kind of different."

Her smile grew wider. "I think I am different."

He sat on the side of the bed and gently pressed the palm of his hand to her forehead.

"You're not hot. Have you been drinking?"

"Mmm-mmm," she shook her head. She read the growing concern in his eyes and dug deeper for an explanation. "I think...something just clicked last night."

"Clicked?"

"Like a light coming on. I was confused about who I was and how I was supposed to react to all this Daemon stuff. Last night I had an epiphany and everything makes a lot more sense now."

"I'd like to hear more about it," he said, his worried expression fading.

She took his hand and held it in both of hers. She loved looking up into his eyes. "It was because of you, Master. Your patience and dedication and gentleness all brought me to this point. I'm happy to belong to you."

That put a blush on him and he cleared his throat. "I don't know what to say. I mean, I don't think I did anything special. But thanks! We make a great team. I'm happy to be bonded with you as well."

There were a few moments of happy silence.

"Do you have to go?" she asked.

He nodded and went to grab a shirt from the dresser drawer. "I've got stuff to do back at the condo, and there are a few things I want to look for at the library as well. If you want, I can grab some groceries on the way back."

"You're coming back tonight?"

"I thought I would. Is that going to be a problem?"

"I always want you here. I feel hollow inside when you leave."

"Ah!" he said, retrieving some note paper from the night stand. "I put together some activities for you to work on when I'm gone, like we discussed last night. Hopefully they'll keep your mind and body occupied and you'll be more comfortable when I'm away."

"I promise I'll do all of them to the best of my ability," she said, taking the paper from him. He hadn't created an itinerary, exactly - more like a task list.

"Well, they're just suggestions. Ideas, really. Do them if you feel like it, or come up with your own."

Floor exercises. Chores. Journal-writing. Yoga. Drawing. Internet chess. He'd put down a lot of thoughts.

"Thank you so much for caring about me," she said, folding the list and putting it aside for later. "Will you let me make you pancakes for breakfast?"

"Sounds like a great way to start the weekend!"

She kicked the sheets aside, rolled out of bed and padded out of the room. She could feel his eyes on her bare bum as she left.

*

"So, you're going to remain...naked?" Garnet asked as she set a plate of pancakes in front of him.

She turned back to the stove to pour more mix into the pan, in case he wanted seconds. She'd never cooked in the nude before, and certainly never in front of a young man. It made her feel free and daring. She throbbed and tingled and craved. Her body felt alive and charged with energy.

"With your permission, yes. Last night you asked if that was what I wanted, and I said it was."

"I guess I didn't think..." he trailed off.

"Does it bother you?"

"What? No. Far from it. I just don't want you to feel uncomfortable."

She smiled at him over her shoulder. "I like being naked for you." The admission brought a little pink to her face. It would take time to fully cast aside her old, human inhibitions, she supposed.

"You do?

She nodded. "But I'm happy to wear whatever you like."

"Um, whatever makes you comfortable is fine with me."

She turned to find him regarding her once again with a perplexed look on his face. She winked at him, hoping it would reassure him.

"Want seconds?"

"Oh, this is plenty. I want you to sit and eat something too."

"Yes Master," she said, plating the pancakes and sitting next to him at the kitchen table.

"You seem a lot more...open."

"I guess I feel really comfortable with you."

"That's good." He didn't sound convinced.

She didn't like to worry him, so she put down her fork, set her hand on top of his and looked into his eyes. "I'm fine. Really. I know this is kind of...different...but as I said, the light just came on for me last night. I feel like THIS is who I really am. This is my true, Daemonic nature."

He looked and her a few moments longer, then a smile broke out and he laughed his easy laugh. "Well, it's a change, that's for sure. But if you're happy then I'm good with it."

"I've never been happier."

The matter was decided, and he finished his pancakes, packed up and headed for the door.

*

Garnet's departure sucked the energy out of the house, and out of her. The joy of having him around quickly decayed into an empty, ravenous longing for his return. As his car pulled out of the driveway, she shot a glance at the wall clock. Nine thirty-five. The meaningless minutes commenced their excruciating, snail's-pace crawl.

Desperate to stave off hopelessness, she quickly recovered Master's task list from his bedroom and reviewed it. It would have been better if he'd been more specific about what she was supposed to do, and when. Her Knight-Observer was a very disciplined, diligent man, and it wouldn't do for his Familiar to be any less so in her service to him.

She started with an hour of television-guided Yoga. She liked the lady who did the show and Monica knew all the moves by heart. It was hard to lose herself in mindfulness - Master was too often in her thoughts - but the stretching and breathing felt calming nonetheless. And she figured a toned body would be more attractive to her young man.

With that in mind she followed Yoga with an hour of floor exercises. Nothing too strenuous, but even naked she managed to work up a sweat with lunges, squats, leg lifts and crunches. She even managed half a dozen deep push-ups.

After that she sat at the kitchen table and started a journal. Garnet had wanted to record her perspectives, to break from the one-sided tradition of Knight-only observations and musings. What better way than for her to put down her own thoughts? He hadn't set her a minimum number of words so she filled five pages with a recounting the early part of her journey as a human. Begin at the beginning, she supposed.

She fixed herself a bit of lunch and suddenly it was one o'clock in the afternoon! His list had made the time fly past! He was impressive for sure. Wise despite his young age.

Chores were next. Dishes, dusting, vacuuming and doing the washing and peeling for the casserole she was going to make for dinner. She made her bed and Master's, and considered running a load of laundry for the shirt, socks and underwear he'd worn the previous day. In the end she just hand-washed them and hung them in the laundry room. No need to waste all that water and electricity. She jumped in the shower after that.

Three forty-five! Had time ever moved so fast?

The phone rang, and call display showed Garnet's number so she answered immediately.

"Hey, just checking in, making sure you're doing okay there," he said.

Monica felt warm at the sound of his voice and the idea that he would think to call her. She'd pledged herself to such an incredible man.

"Yes, thank you for calling! Your list is amazing - when I'm following your instructions the time just disappears. Are you coming soon?"

"Yeah, I'm almost done here. Can I pick anything up on the way home?"

"No, you can just come here straight. I have everything we need, thanks."

"Sounds good. See you in an hour or so."

They disconnected, leaving her swelling with gratitude for the call. How could she repay kindness like that? The thought lingered, and she decided the internet might have the answer, or at least some creative ideas. Anyway, there wasn't enough time to start anything else now. She fired up her computer and searched for ways to please her Master.

*

He opened the door and stepped into the house. As he set his backpack on the floor his eyes came to rest on her and quickly grew wide in surprise.

"Welcome home, Master," Monica said, kneeling on the floor in front of him, still naked. She probably should have lowered her head submissively, like the website suggested, but then she couldn't have seen his expression, and what fun would that have been?

"Um...hey," he said. His baffled frown lasted only another moment before giving way to a grin. "I guess this is more of that 'epiphany' you were talking about?"

"I really wanted to thank you for your call today. It meant a lot."

"Just wanted to make sure you were okay. You didn't have to..." he gestured to her kneeling form.

"May I put the casserole in?"

"Casserole sounds great."

She slid the stoneware into the pre-heated oven as he wandered into the living room and sat on the couch.

"So, can we maybe talk about this revelation you had last night?" he asked. "It sure was meaningful to you."

She sat nestled against him on the couch, feeling the warmth of him on her skin, marveling at how the house had come alive now that he was there.

"You're worried," she said.

"A little worried, and a lot curious."

"I'm a Daemon. That's what I realized last night."

"You've known that since the ritual - almost a week ago."

Less than a week? She felt a small burst of pride at how far she'd come in such a short time.

"I knew it a week ago, but I REALIZED it last night. I guess it took some time for the full impact to hit me. I'm a much different person than I thought I was."

"Oh?

"As a human I was unhappy. Anxious, shy and uncertain. I was very aware of my failings, and I blamed myself for them. I questioned myself all the time. But you led me to the truth."

"Which is what?"

She shrugged and grinned up at him. "I'm a Daemon. Not just a Daemon - a Daemon Familiar. I've got a strong, wise Master to guide me now. So I can let you handle all the human stuff and I can focus on my service to you. I can be happy and free."

"And naked," he added wryly.

She giggled. "I'm not human, so why do I need modesty? And you've already seen every single inch of me. Besides, I think my body pleases you."

"I can't say you're wrong about that," he said, and she felt a thrill at his admission. "So from now on, what, all bets are off? The rules don't apply anymore?"

"Of course there are rules, but they're YOUR rules. I swore to submit to your guidance and I realized last night the Pact forces me to do just that."

"Forces you?"

"Yes. But even if there was no Pact, I think I'm happier this way. Putting myself in your hands takes away all the indecision and anxiety that was smothering me as a human."

"And it doesn't bother you that you're giving me all this control?"

She chuckled. "No, Master. Why should it? You're kind and gentle - I knew that even before I took the oath. You're not going to hurt me."

"What if I ask you to do something you don't like?"

"If it happens, we'll figure it out. I'm not worried," she said, elated to realize that she truly WASN'T worried. As a human she'd always been troubled. How foolish she'd been!

He was quiet, digesting everything he'd learned. She snuggled against him, enjoying his feel and scent, and the life energy that hummed all around him.

"So the kneeling when I came in - what was that all about?" he asked.

"Shouldn't I kneel? You're my Master."

"I'm not a 'Master' in that sense. It's more in the spirit of 'expert' or 'teacher'. As in 'master craftsman'. I'm not a MASTER master."

"I think you're a MASTER master, Master," she said, grinning at the wordplay. It even got a laugh out of him.

"I don't think the relationship between Master and Familiar works like that."

"But you also told me that every Master-Familiar relationship was a little different, right?"

"Well, yes," he admitted.

"I wanted to thank you for calling me, and this website said kneeling at the door was a good way to please a Master."

"So it won't be a regular thing, then?"

She gave a half-shrug. "Probably not...unless you commanded it."

"Um, I don't do a lot of 'commanding'. The most you're going to get is a polite request."

"Can I ask you a favour?"

"Yeah, sure."

"Don't hold yourself back."

"What do you mean?"

"If you want something, say so. I like that you're polite, but it's okay to be selfish sometimes too. It's okay to ask for what you want. I wouldn't mind it if you were a little bit more...assertive...with me. I want you to take the lead."

"You already do so much for me, I'm not sure what else I could ask for."

She pushed herself off the couch and stood between his knees. She held his gaze with her own.

"Do you want to touch me?" The question brought a blush to her face. More residual 'human' propriety, she supposed.

He flushed too. "I mean, it's hard not to...have thoughts like that."

"Then why aren't you touching me?"

"Well, I wouldn't want you to feel, you know..."

"I want you to touch me. I'd love to feel your hands on me." She felt the heat on her cheeks and neck as her colour grew darker. Human Monica would have been mortified.

"You're sure?"

"You're my Master. I belong to you, and with you. You should feel comfortable doing whatever pleases you, because that's what I want, too." She loved how certain she sounded. She couldn't remember ever feeling so confident.

There was a long pause as they stared into one another. He gave her a crooked grin. "The new you is going to take some getting used to."

"You liked the old me better?"

He shook his head. "I like any version of you. I want you to explore yourself and grow. That's why we made this Pact. We both want to understand you better."

It was the perfect answer, and at the same time an authentically 'Garnet' sort of reply. She felt warm inside.

He patted the couch next to her. "Sit."

Spoken like a command - is that how he'd intended it? She resumed her position, pressed against him on the couch.

"How aroused are you right now?"

"Mmm. I'd say...four? It spikes to a 'five' every time I see you sneaking peeks at me."

"You noticed?"

"Oh yes."

"Well, you ARE naked. Hard to keep my eyes off you."

"Please enjoy the view, Master."

"I'll take you up on that," he said. There was brief hesitation. "Touch yourself."

"What?"

"Like you were doing the other night, when I stopped you."

"You mean now?"

There was mischief in his grin. "I mean now."

The blush returned at full heat as she parted her knees a little. Human Monica would never have agreed to this. She remembered how badly she'd wanted this the previous night, in her bed, half-mad with arousal. The Pact had blocked her then, but now nothing stood in her way.