That Sunday Afternoon

For the rest of that week my days were good because I was enjoying my job but the evenings were painful. At times Sonya and I couldn't be in the same room without us getting into an argument. I usually started them by asking Sonya prying questions. I have to admit that Sonya did try to be patient with me but I didn't cut her any slack.

On Friday I found out I was going to have to fly down to Atlanta the following Tuesday for two days of meetings with the two parties to the merger. When I got home that evening I decided not to mention my trip to Sonya until Monday. I didn't want to give her much time to think about what she might do with me out of town for two days. I still didn't fully trust her.

The weekend actually went pretty well. We didn't fight because I made an effort not to pick a fight with Sonya. I wanted to make sure that when I went to Atlanta on Tuesday that Sonya wasn't angry with me. On Sunday afternoon we made love.

On Monday I called Sonya from my office and asked her to meet me for dinner because I had something I needed to talk to her about. As soon as I put the phone down I realized that what I had said might have worried Sonya and I thought about calling her to explain. In the end I decided not to call.

When Sonya got to the restaurant that night she did look a little worried. I waited until we had our drinks and the waiter had taken our dinner order before I started to tell Sonya about the trip. I started by telling her about the merger and how it was progressing and how much I enjoyed working with Dr. Bryant.

"Tomorrow the two parties are getting together in Atlanta to work out the final details of the merger and I have to be there," I said.

"You have to go to Atlanta tomorrow?"

I said, "Yes and the meetings will last two days. I won't be home until Thursday morning."

"You have to go away for two days and you just found out today?" She asked.

I didn't answer her questions.

"I represent the bank so I have to be there," I said. "It's only two days. You can handle that can't you?"

"Of course I can," she said. "This isn't the first time you've been away. I'll be... Oh..."

I guessed that she had just remembered what happened the last time I went out of town for a couple of days. Sonya leaned across the table and looked directly into my eyes.

"I know what you are thinking," she said, "but you have noting to worry about. I will be fine and there won't be any problems."

Sonya was very careful to make her point without using any inflammatory words.

"I believe you," I said and I meant it.

I felt better and I enjoyed my dinner and I believe Sonya did too. When we got home we sat in the car and made out for a little while and they went up to bed and made love.

Chapter Six – Good Counsel

The flight to Atlanta was smooth and Tuesday's meeting was very productive. Dr. Bryant and I spent a lot of time just talking to each other while the lawyers haggled over the wording in the contracts. That night we all went out to dinner together and had an enjoyable evening.

Wednesday was almost a repeat of Tuesday. We actually ended earlier than we expected so I tried to get on a flight home Wednesday evening but was unable to find an open seat on any flights. I had just hung up the phone after trying to get a flight when Dr. Bryant approached me.

"Are you staying in Atlanta tonight?" He asked.

"Yea, damn it. I couldn't get a flight out tonight," I said.

"That's a shame," he said, "but since you have to stay in town tonight why don't you have dinner with me? My wife is visiting her mother this week so I am on my own."

I said, "I would enjoy the company."

Dr. Bryant drove us to what he said was his favorite restaurant. We had to sit at the bar for nearly an hour waiting for a table so we ordered drinks and just started chatting.

"Dr. Bryant ..."

"Please call me Jim," he said.

"Okay, Jim... What kind of doctor are you?"

"I am a Doctor of Psychology," he responded.

I said, "What exactly does your company do? I have been so busy putting the financial package for this merger together I never thought to ask what you do."

Jim said, "We provide employee assistance for companies who want to provide those services to their employees. We do drug and alcohol abuse counseling, marriage counseling and other family services. That's why we wanted to merge with a health care provider. That gives us more to offer and should bring in more business for us."

"So, do you do any counseling yourself?" I said.

"I still do on occasion but I haven't had much time for that lately," he said. "Now let me ask you a question. I notice that you were a bit upset earlier when you couldn't get a flight out tonight but on the way over her in the car you told me that you had planned on flying home tomorrow anyway. So why did it upset you so much when you couldn't get out of here tonight?"

I said, "I just wanted to get home tonight if I could."

"I sense a little tension in your words," Jim said.

"Is that a psychological observation?" I asked.

"No. It's the observation of a friend who just happens to be a psychologist," he said. "Can I ask you, as a friend, why are so tense? It might help to talk about it."

"I am a little nervous about leaving my wife home alone," I said.

"Why? Is she ill?" He asked.

I said, "No, she's not ill. It's just that we have been having some problems lately."

"Why don't you tell me about it?"

Subconsciously I must have really wanted to talk to somebody about Sonya, because once I started talking I went on non-stop right through dinner. Jim didn't stop me except to occasionally ask a clarifying question or to have me repeat something I had said. He was good at this. Whenever I stopped talking he would sit quietly until I started again and when I had finally told him the whole story in detail he knew it was the end without me telling him.

"That is a difficult problem. What are you going to do about it?" Jim asked.

I said, "I wish I knew. Sonya offered to quit her job and said we could move away."

"What do you think of that idea?" He asked.

I said, "When I had time to think it over I decided against it. Sonya has worked at SA for nine years. All of her friends... Our friends work at SA. I know she loves her job. To take her away from that might make her resent me and it doesn't settle the main problem. This attraction she has for Kaplan. That would not go away just because we left town and what if he followed her. I decided it was not a good idea."

"I would agree with you on that decision," Jim said. "What other options do you see?"

"I don't see any options. I just keep going day to day hoping that things will get better without my having to do anything. I afraid that won't happen but I am at a loss as to what to do."

The waiter had just brought the check and Dr. Bryant insisted on paying it.

"Why don't we go get a table in the bar and have a drink and see if I can help bring things into focus for you," Jim suggested.

"I'd appreciate that," I said.

We found a table in a quiet corner of the bar and ordered a couple of scotches.

Jim said, "First let me say that this is not my area of expertise. I have mostly been involved in drug abuse counseling so what I say here is personal opinion based on some experience with similar problems. Keep in mind that these opinions are based completely on what you have told me so they can only be as valid as the input you gave me."

"I understand," I said.

"First of all, as a professional, let me say that I would suggest that you and you wife get into couples counseling but as we are talking as friends I will tell you what I think," Jim said.

"Let me start with Mr. Kaplan. My impression is that to him this is nothing more than a sexual conquest. What happened thirteen years ago was a boy trying to seduce a girl and he would have succeeded if her mother hadn't interrupted them. The letters he sent to Sonya that summer were designed to keep her interested because he planned to see her again but something must have happened to change his plans. Most likely he found a girlfriend closer to home and that's why he stopped writing to Sonya."

"That makes sense," I said.

Jim said, "Mr. Kaplan most likely forgot all about Sonya until he ended up in Raleigh working for the same company. When he invited her to have lunch with him he probably was thinking of trying to seduce her but the idea of how to approach her, at least from what your wife told you, didn't come to him until the ride back to the office. That is when he brought up the subject of that afternoon in Sonya's bedroom when, but for the interruption by her mother, they most certainly would have had intercourse. Your wife's reaction to this subject must have encouraged him and he saw that he had a chance to get her into bed.

"That fact that he chose to go after a married woman tells me that Mr. Kaplan isn't looking for a relationship, he just wants to have a discreet affair with someone. Unfortunately your wife became his target."

Jim stopped talking long enough to order another round of drinks.

"Now, as to your wife Sonya," he said, "her motivation appears to be quite different. Your wife seems to have developed an unconscious obsession based on the memory of her first sexual encounter with Mr. Kaplan. It started when she had become extremely aroused by Mr. Kaplan and then was not able to get the sexual release she needed. Then there were the letters he sent her that summer keeping the memory of that sexually charged moment alive. Once Mr. Kaplan stopped writing to her Sonya managed to put those memories out of her conscious mind. Now Mr. Kaplan suddenly comes back into her life and does such a good job of helping her remember their first time together that she became aroused by the erotic memory giving Mr. Kaplan the power to instill in your wife the desire to finish what they started all those years ago. It is only when she is around Mr. Kaplan and he refreshes her memories of that day that your wife has a problem resisting him. The rest of the time she is in control and can push those images out of her consciousness. She is aware of the attraction Mr. Kaplan has for her but she thinks she can control it."

"What can I do to snap her out of it?" I asked.

"That's the problem John. There's no simple answer here. I can't tell you what to do to snap her out of it. If you let things continue on as they are there is a slim chance that everything will work out the way you want but I highly doubt it. You have already told your wife that if she has sex with Mr. Kaplan you will leave her and she still can't break the attraction. Assuming you don't do anything different and Mr. Kaplan does not lose interest in your wife the problem will most likely persist until she ends up sleeping with him.

"You really need to try and get her into counseling. She may not want to go and if you insist that she gets help there is a good chance you will lose her but that is what I suggest you do. .

"What you are putting yourself through now is like death by a thousand cuts. You are tense all the time, constantly worried about what your wife is doing when you aren't with her and then when you are with her you get into arguments about something that hasn't happened yet. This is not a healthy marriage.

"If you can't get your wife to agree on counseling then I think you should tell her that you want a divorce. That puts the burden of saving the marriage on her. Worst case, she agrees and you dissolve the marriage and move on with your life. On the other hand it may make her face the problem and get her to agree to counseling.

"Just keep in mind that if you do nothing there is a very good chance your wife will end up having sex with Mr. Kaplan. It may only happen one time because once she has experienced the fantasy she has created around her interrupted afternoon with Mr. Kaplan she very likely will be done with him. After all it would be very difficult for the real thing to live up to a 13 year old fantasy. Are you going to be able to forgive her if she does have sex with him and what if once isn't enough? One thing you are going to have to accept is that this isn't about you, it's about her. You can't fix it, only she can.

"If you think you can solve the problem by chasing Mr. Kaplan off I cannot advise you strongly enough to keep your emotions under control. If you go after Mr. Kaplan and threaten him or physically assault him this would not help your marriage and could have dire consequences."

Jim took a long look at me as he sipped his drink.

"I know this is not what you wanted to hear but I have to be honest with you. You may just want to dismiss my opinions as the ramblings of an old drunk and that's your prerogative but I hope that when you get back to Raleigh tomorrow you will at least think about what I told you before you make any decisions."

"You certainly have given me a lot to think about," I said, "and I do appreciate your input. I can promise you that I will think about what you said."

Jim picked up his glass and drained it and then suggested that it was time to leave.

I can't say that Jim's assessment of my marriage and his suggestions as to what I should do made me feel good but at least it gave me some perspective that I couldn't get for myself.

Jim drove me back to my hotel and as I got out of the car he gave me one last bit of advice.

Jim said, "In any discussion you have with your wife try to remain as calm as possible. Think rationally and not emotionally. It may not fix your problems but at the very least it will drive your wife crazy during an argument. Have a safe trip home and I hope everything works out for the best."

"Thanks, I'll let you know what happens," I said.

"I'd like that."

As I watched Jim drive away I felt very lonely.

Chapter Seven – Drastic Measures

On Thursday I returned home to my strained marriage wondering if I was going to have to take Jim's advice and tell Sonya I wanted a divorce. The more I thought about it the more I thought I would not be able to do it.

Another week went by and nothing had changed. As far as I knew Sonya hadn't had any contact with the asshole and I didn't question her about him. In some ways things between us were good. We talked and made love and carried on as though nothing was wrong but the problem was always on my mind.

One evening as we were watching television I decided to approach Sonya on the subject of marriage counseling.

"I was thinking that maybe we should try marriage counseling. What do you think?" I said.

"You really want to do that?" She said. "I've thought about it myself. It might help us."

For the first time since I got home from Dallas and caught Sonya with the asshole I felt like something good was about to happen.

"But there is no way I am going to marriage counseling if you are going to tell some stranger about what happened the night of our party," she said. "If you want to talk about us that would be okay but I don't want some therapist thinking I am some kind of a slut. I'm not like that and you know it."

I was starting to get angry but I kept my emotions under control.

"It wouldn't do any good to go to a marriage counselor if we are not going to be open and frank about our problems," I said. "It would be a waste of time."

"Well then I am not going," she said. "I am not going to sit there and let you bad mouth me in front of some stranger."

That ended that conversation and my hope of getting Sonya to agree to counseling. I had already decided that I wasn't going to tell her I wanted a divorce in an attempt to get her to agree to counseling so I was just going to have to weather the storm and hope we could survive it.

The following Monday evening Sonya told me that Mr. Stanley was throwing one of his cocktail parties at the Marriott Hotel on Saturday night. This was the first time since I had met Sonya that I didn't want to go to one of Mr. Stanley's parties. I didn't tell Sonya because I didn't want to have to explain. I just kept quiet while Sonya talked about needing a new dress for the party.

On Wednesday night I came home to an empty house. When Sonya wasn't home a half hour later I began to worry and as the hour grew later I began to get angry. At 7:30 I finally heard the garage door opening. I had to take several deep breaths to calm myself before Sonya came into the house. I was determined to give her a chance to explain why she was late before I said anything and it was a good thing I did.

Sonya came into the kitchen carrying bags from one of the better department stores in the area. It was at that moment that I remembered that Sonya had said she was going shopping for a dress after work.

"Wait till you see the great dress I got for the party," she said. It was on sale too."

Sonya was too busy showing off her purchases to notice the look of relief that I was sure would be obvious to anyone looking at me.

On Saturday morning I took Sonya's car to get an oil change and to run some errands. I didn't notice until I got to the service station that Sonya had left her cell phone in the car. When the oil change was complete and I got back into the car I noticed that the light on the phone was blinking. When I looked at the display the message read 'One missed call' and the voice mail indicator was also on. When I checked the missed call I didn't recognize the number so I dialed her voice mail and listened to the message.

"Sonya, Tony. Just wanted to check and see if your husband was coming to the party with you. I hope not. Even if he is maybe we can sneak off for a little fun when he's not looking. You know you want it babe. See ya tonight."

I was seething with anger. If I had been able to get my hands on the asshole at that moment I would have killed him. As I went about finishing up my errands I tried to decide what I should do about Kaplan. I was in a drug store to pick up a prescription for my allergies when I saw something that gave me an idea. I was just angry enough to do something drastic and this idea was very drastic.

When I got home I didn't say anything to Sonya about the voice mail message Kaplan left her. For the rest of the afternoon I avoided Sonya as much as possible because I was just too angry to pretend nothing was wrong. I found myself taking nips from my bottle of bourbon all afternoon.

At six o'clock I heard Sonya get into the shower to get ready for the party. Then I poured myself a double bourbon and put some ice in it and sat down to wait for her to finish her shower.

After about fifteen minutes I heard the shower turn off and ten minutes later Sonya came downstairs and into the kitchen in her bathrobe.

"When are you going to get ready for the party?" She asked.

"I'm not going," I said.

"What do you mean your not going?"

"Just that. I don't want to go."

"Why are you doing this? You know I wanted to go."

"So go."

"What's the matter with you?"

"I just don't want to go to the party."

"Why?"

"Do you really have to ask?" I said. "Do you think I want to spend an evening in the same room with that asshole would be lover of yours?"

"You won't go to the party because Tony will be there?"

"That's right. I am afraid that if I saw him come anywhere near you I would beat the crap out of him."

"Then I guess we aren't going," she said.

I said, "I am not going but you are."

"I don't want to go without you," she said.

"Why? You've gone to parties without me before why should this be any different?" I asked.

"I know what you're thinking. If I go to the party you think something will happen between me and Tony. I don't want to have that fight again tomorrow."

"I don't think you'll do anything with Dick head if I am not there, I know you will," I said.