The Adventures of Mega-Girl Ch. 01

"Doesn't this bitch haveanyweaknesses?"

"Yes," Doctor Death answered sarcastically, "She seems vulnerable to magical Olympian bows."

Killian snorted angrily, "I gave the bow back to Master Disaster, and nobody knows where the hell he is. He disappeared after the Mega-Girl job."

"I suggest consulting a sorcerer or wizard," Doctor Death offered.

"What the hell are you talking about?" asked Killian, "You saying I need some kind of Harry Potter bullshit?"

"Do not dismiss magic as mythical hocus-pocus," Doctor Death warned, "The art of sorcery is rare, but real."

"And where the fuck am I supposed to find myself a wizard?"

"I know a practitioner I can refer you to. He lives in the French Quarter of New Orleans, a man they call... Lord Voodoo!"

An uncontrollable smile decorated Mega-Girl's unmasked face as she landed in her front yard. The new house she purchased was perfect for dealing with the unwanted attention of operating as an unmasked superhero. The closest houses were hundreds of feet to either side and separated by brick vanity walls. She was able to come and go without fear of prying neighbors, fans, or camped-out members of the paparazzi. Much had changed in Mega-Girl's life and she was thankful of her decision to hire Josh and the wealth he helped bring her.

The smile remained as Mega-Girl walked into the massive foyer between curving staircases, until she heard soft crying. "Jordan?" she called out, memories of their encounter with Deathstalker suddenly flooding her worried mind.

"In here," Jordan replied quickly from the kitchen. She sat on a stool at an island counter, her face red and puffy, while eating iced cream.

Mega-Girl looked relieved that Jordan was alone and appeared safe but also noticed she was eating the iced cream straight from its carton, rather than a bowl. "Uh-oh," Mega-Girl approached her best friend, "This can't be good."

"Travis and I broke up," Jordan sniffed and licked her spoon.

"What?" Mega-Girl was truly surprised; Jordan and Travis had been getting along so well during the prior months and there had been no signs of trouble in their relationship. "What happened?"

"I'm not even sure," Jordan wallowed, "I told him we weren't going back to school this fall and things went south from there. He started complaining that I was leaving him behind and that I live so far away... and then he told me my Harbinger business was stupid."

Mega-Girl slid a drawer open next to the fridge and retrieved a spoon, "He said that?"

Jordan nodded and wiped a sniffle off her nose with the back of a hand.

"I'm so sorry, sweetie."

"We got into this huge fight," Jordan offered the carton of iced cream over the counter, "I ripped the necklace he gave me off my neck and threw it at him. Then we started yelling at each other; by the time it was over I was in tears and we were calling each other names and saying awful things..."

Mega-Girl dug a spoonful of Rocky Road out of the carton, "And then he dumped you?"

"I think I broke up with him, first." Jordan rubbed her forehead, "I can't remember. It doesn't matter."

"Well," Mega-Girl took a deep breath and considered, "Do you want him back?"

Jordan shrugged feebly as she ate more, "I don't know. In a way he's kind of right. My life – both of our lives - have been speeding forward so quickly and I never really stopped to consider where Travis would fit in."

"Maybe he doesn't," Mega-Girl spoke delicately, "I don't think Travis wants to be a part of our world. He broke up with me because I'm Mega-Girl and started dating you – a more 'normal' girl. But now that you want to be Harbinger it sounds like he's getting cold feet again."

Jordan sighed in agreement, "Maybe."

"Do you love him?" Mega-Girl asked tentatively.

"I don't know. I never said the words to him or anything. I guess our intimacy never reached that level." Jordan took one more spoonful but didn't eat it, "I don't think I've ever been in love. How pathetic is that?"

Mega-Girl made a sympathetic laugh, "You're not pathetic. We're only twenty-one years old."

"Some girls are married by the time they're our age," Jordan reminded.

"I think you still have time to find true love," Mega-Girl noted dryly.

"How do you even know if you're in love?"

Mega-Girl shrugged helplessly, "Who knows? I'm in the same boat as you are."

Jordan's brow furrowed, "What? What do you mean? I thought you and Apollo...?"

Mega-Girl shook her head, "He tells me how much he loves me all the time. But... I've never said it back."

"Really? Isn't that awkward?"

"Not really. When Apollo says 'I love you' it's usually this totally involved thing where he tells me he's never felt about anyone the way he feels about me, or that he's waited for several millennia to be with me, and then we have really hot sex."

"That's kind of romantic," Jordan sighed jealously.

"I don't know," Mega-Girl pushed a hand through her waves of blonde hair, "Sometimes it just reminds me how old he is and I wonder how practical it is to be dating an immortal god, you know? I mean, what happens when I start getting old and he loses interest?"

Jordan leaned an elbow on the counter and placed her chin in her palm, "Yeah. Why does dating have to be so fucking complicated?"

Mega-Girl moved around the counter to give Jordan a hug, "I'm sorry about you and Travis. Is there anything I can do?"

"...yeah...," Jordan tried to breathe as she hugged back, "Lay off the mega-hug, MG. Remember – just a mere mortal here."

Mega-Girl blushed and loosened her squeeze, "Sorry."

Because his dark, curly hair and handsome features were known to all in the city of Olympus, the figure concealed himself beneath the hood of his bulky cloak as he made his way through the commons where royals rarely tread. He used back alleys that hardly saw the sun and smelled of mold until he reached his destination, an unassuming door leading into a three-story building made of wood and clay stucco.

"Hello," greeted a seductive voice that came from an equally seductive female dressed in a silk gown, "And welcome. May I help you?"

The man could detect a dozen different perfumes in the air and heard the giggling of girls from above. "I am looking for Hermaphrodite (Herm-af-ro-dye-tee)," he replied.

The woman smiled, "Many crave the mistress of the house, but she does not lie with commoners. Perhaps I could interest you in a -"

"I am not here to lie with anyone, nor am I common." The man withdrew his cloak's hood and let it rest at his shoulders, "Tell your mistress her father is here."

"Lord Hermes!" The woman turned wide-eyed and performed a quick bow, "I will inform her at once."

Hermes replaced his hood once the woman left, not wanting to be easily recognized by any of the brothel's other employees. He didn't wait long before the hostess returned and informed Hermes his daughter would see him in her private chambers.

The room was large and dimly lit by a smattering of candles, dominated by a canopied bed draped with silk and covered with plush pillows. Hermaphrodite sat at a mirrored vanity wearing a loincloth of material both thin and sheer. A bra was the only thing covering her torso, with purple cups and golden metal trim. She was entirely feminine and enticing, with a figure that had inspired poetry from Olympus' finest bards. Despite the immodesty of her apparel, Hermaphrodite's face was covered by a gauzy veil beneath her tumbling brunette tresses.

"Hello Father," she greeted in a scratchy and alluring voice.

"Hermaphrodite," Hermes inclined his head. He closed the chamber door and removed his cloak, wearing common clothes beneath – a simple tunic and trousers.

"You must be in trouble," she said, a tint of amusement to her tone, "I can't remember the last time you visited my brothel."

"I honestly have no idea if I'm in trouble," Hermes hung his cloak on a wooden tree designed for such things, "I have returned to Olympus in secret, a fact I hope your hostess outside will respect."

"My employees know how to hold their tongues," Hermaphrodite replied, remaining seated. "What brings you to my chambers in such a secretive way?"

"I seek information."

Hermaphrodite's beautiful blue eyes shimmered above her veil, "And you think I have it?"

"I know about your relationship with your uncle," Hermes was in no mood to play games and expedited the conversation, "And it is Ares I would know about."

Hermaphrodite glided a hand over her sultry thigh and crossed one leg over the other, "You say that with such judgement, father. I am hardly the first of us to engage in incestuous activities, after all. Besides, my relationship with Ares is more business-like. Do you really think he tells me all his secrets?"

"I think you know more of our family's dealings than you would ever admit," Hermes replied dryly.

Hermaphrodite laughed, "It's true, many of our blood frequent my establishment. More than most would suspect."

"Has he spoken of war?" Hermes pressed.

"War? Olympus has been at peace for centuries."

"Yes," Hermes nodded and approached a small bar filled with liquor bottles, "But Apollo and I recently trespassed within Hades and did battle with Pluto's forces. Though we had no army, what we did remains an act of war which violated an ancient treaty Pluto holds with Zeus. I need to learn the fallout of our actions."

"Why don't you ask Zeus?" Hermaphrodite gestured with a delicate hand.

Hermes chose a bottle and uncapped it, sniffing at its aroma. "Because if I do, I know he will command me to remain here – away from Earth and my brother. That is not a command I want placed upon me right now."

"I know of yours and Apollo's trespass," Hermaphrodite acknowledged, "Everyone in Olympus has heard of your deeds, by now. I hear grandfather is very angry. You are wise to avoid him."

Hermes glanced towards his daughter as he poured a cup of brandy, "Oh? Tell me what the gossips are saying."

"They say you stole a mortal from the realm of death, a mortal who rightfully belonged to Pluto. One he favored very much. She was to be his bride."

"The rumors are true," Hermes admitted, "What I want to know is if Ares has spoken of battle preparations. Have our actions led to tensions between Pluto and Olympus?"

"No," Hermaphrodite tossed a hand through her hair, "Zeus has placated his brother by promising to return the mortal."

"What!?" Hermes nearly dropped his drink.

"Tell me about her," Hermaphrodite leaned forward curiously and rested a forearm across her knee, "Is she as enchanting as the gossips claim? This must be quite a mortal to inspire mighty Apollo to risk the wrath of his elders and do battle with the foul hordes of Hades."

Hermes muttered, "The idea was mine, actually."

"Of course it was," Hermaphrodite smiled sarcastically beneath her veil and rose, "Apollo always was more brawn than brain, I suppose." She crossed the room in bare feet, "You were right to come to me. Zeus is furious with the both of you. But it is not Ares he's sending to capture Apollo's mortal."

"Who then?" Hermes wondered.

"He's sending mother," she answered, "He's sending Aphrodite."

Hermes paled.

"I am going to kill you! I'll flay the skin from your bones until you scream in sweet pain, begging for the welcome release of death! I'll mount your head on my trophy room wall after severing it from your mangled body, so that all can witness the folly of defying... RAKECLAW!!!"

Mega-Girl lifted a defiant brow and folded her arms across her chest, "Seriously? Look, you're new around here, so I'm going to give you one more chance to give up peacefully."

Clad in a green spandex costume that covered her from neck to toe, Rakeclaw slashed the air in front of her in a threatening show of danger. Each of her fingers had foot-long steel claws extending from their tips, razor sharp and jumping with sparks as Rakeclaw slid one set of claws against the other. Her long hair was brown and wild, as were her eyes. "Give up?Give up?!" she spat, "I am death incarnate!"

The two stood facing one another on a narrow street in Gateway City's uptown bar district, a quaint section of the city close to its downtown core. A dinnertime crowd had gathered around the combatants after Mega-Girl had spotted trouble flying overhead. Rakeclaw had been attempting to rob a gas station, but when she found out the station's register only had $40 in cash she threw a tantrum, cutting up nearby parked cars, street signs, and traffic lights.

"...don't take no shit, Mega-Girl...!" a bystander yelled.

"...we love you, Penelope...!" another woman screamed.

"...kick her ass, MG...!" a man hollered, pumping his fist in the air.

Mega-Girl leveled a crooked smile towards Rakeclaw as the surrounding fans bolstered her confidence, "Youdoknow who I am, don't you?"

"You're ribbons!" Rakeclaw screeched, leaping forward and slashing her dangerous talons across Mega-Girl's torso. Four slicing tears marred Mega-Girl's costume at her sternum, but her flesh beneath resisted any damage.

Rakeclaw stood stunned, incredulous to the lack of blood.

Mega-Girl blandly glanced down at her torn costume, "Now look what you've gone and done. I guess these new Nike costumes aren't any more resilient than my old ones."

"Insolent cow!!!" Rakeclaw shrieked.

"Cow? That's not very nice," Mega-Girl pretended offense. "Do you have any idea how hard it is to keep my butt in shape for this costume? I don't need you giving me any more self-esteem issues. Let me ask you something – do you have any powers or anything? Or do you just have those claws?"

"I don't need powers! My claws can rend steel!"

"Uh-huh," Mega-Girl nodded as though she'd heard it all before, "So what do you do when you encounter something tougher than steel?"

"Huh?" Rakeclaw was momentarily confused by the questions and overall lack of fighting.

"You know, like me?" Mega-Girl shot her fist forward in a quick, thrusting punch.

Rakeclaw flew backwards and slammed into the side of a parked car before slumping to the street unconscious.

The crowd around them immediately erupted in cheers and collapsed inward towards their hero, the people rushing towards Mega-Girl and her celebrity once the threat of Rakeclaw was no longer a factor.

"...sign an autograph... or a selfie...?"

"...is Apollo a natural blond...?"

"...love you, Mega-Girl...!"

"...bless my baby, please...?"

Mega-Girl wanted to wait for the police to show up, so she didn't see the harm in signing a few autographs or kissing a few babies; Josh was always telling her to embrace her fans, after all. After several pictures with cell phone cameras and politely declining three date invites, Mega-Girl answered a few questions from the police and watched as GCPD shackled Rakeclaw and hauled her away.

After a wave to the crowd, Mega-Girl rose into the air and lifted a hand to her ear to activate the cellular device there, "Harbinger?"

I'm here, MG.

"How are you doing, hon?"

I'm hanging in there. Trying not to think about it and stay busy. Phazer's got me looking into suspected police corruption in the Warrens, which helps.

"I've got a new one for you," Mega-Girl veered her flight towards the southern suburbs, "Add 'Rakeclaw' to the database. Female; somewhere between 20-30 in age; real name unknown. No known powers, but likely a sociopath. I stopped her from tearing up the uptown Pump N' Munch. She likes to cut people up with finger knives."

She sounds like a real charmer.

"Anything going on over the police bands?"

There's a lot of chatter about your activities, but nothing else.

"Okay, I'm going to circle the city once more and then stop by Apollo's."

I'll leave the light on for you. Let me know if you need anything, MG. Harbinger out.

Mega-Girl frowned and felt guilty about going to her boyfriend's when Jordan sounded so depressed over the radio, but she knew time was the only cure for some wounds. There was little she could do for Jordan other than offer a shoulder to cry on from time to time, but Jordan sounded as though she wanted to be alone and get her mind off the break-up with Travis.

After flying around the city one more time, the sun hung low in the western sky as Mega-Girl landed upon the penthouse balcony of Apollo's condominium. "Apollo?" she called after opening the unlocked sliding glass door, "Baby? Are you home?"

"He's not here," a scratchy, feminine voice replied.

Mega-Girl turned towards the sound to see a sexy brunette with long, tumbling curls appear from the bedroom hallway. Her shapely legs poked out from a pair of men's boxers, presumably Apollo's, and she wore one of his buttoned, long-sleeved shirts. Mega-Girl thought she looked to be about the same age as herself – a young college student, perhaps.

"Who the hell are you?" Mega girl asked jealously, a fist balling at her side.

"Apollo's niece," she answered casually, "My name is Hermaphrodite."

"Niece?" Mega-Girl looked surprised, her fist loosening. "I'm sorry, did you say your name was...?"

"Hermaphrodite," she repeated. "Apollo is with my father, Hermes."

"Hermes is your dad?" Mega-Girl was suddenly distracted from the connotations of Hermaphrodite's name.

"Yes," Hermaphrodite crossed the living room to sit on a large leather couch, "You must be the famous Penelope. You're every bit as beautiful as the gossips in Olympus claim."

"Thanks... wait, people in Olympus gossip about me?"

"Of course," Hermaphrodite smiled, "You're the most famous mortal woman in Olympus since Helen of Troy. Everyone is talking about how your beauty and charisma inspired Hermes and the mighty Apollo to risk death itself and invade the depths of Hades to rescue you."

Mega-Girl couldn't help her blush.

Hermaphrodite added, "Yes, very pretty, but your clothes are rather garish."

Mega-Girl glanced down at her costume, torn from her encounter with Rakeclaw, "We superheroes like to stand out, I guess. So what are Hermes and Apollo doing?"

"They went to Greece looking for the Mask of Dionysus."

"I see," Mega-Girl moved slowly towards a comfortable chair near Hermaphrodite's couch and sat. "Should I know what that is?"

"One of those magical objects we Olympians are so fond of," Hermaphrodite answered. She picked up the remote control for Apollo's television and studied it with casual interest. "It's the only thing that can protect someone from my mother's Majesty."

"Okay..." Mega-Girl sighed loudly as she grew more lost by the second, "What the heck is going on? Who's your mother? What is her 'Majesty'? And what are you doing here dressed in my boyfriend's clothes?"

"Pretty," Hermaphrodite commented to no one in particular, "But not too wise. Typical."

Mega-Girl suddenly felt like hitting her again.

"My mother is Aphrodite, daughter of Uranus, Goddess of love, beauty, fertility... all that." Hermaphrodite waved her hand dismissively as though she'd told the story a thousand times, "Her Majesty is one of the most powerful forces in the universe. Her beauty, her very aura, is so powerful that anyone who looks upon her can't help but feel an overwhelming sense of awe. Men and women alike drop to their knees in worship; the weak-willed weep with joy at her mere presence; no one would dare attack her or attempt to cause her harm because the only possible emotions one can express towards my mother are love and devotion. Even the mightiest of this world, or any other, can't help but do whatever she asks."

Mega-Girl lifted her brows, "Wow. She sounds impressive. But this mask, it makes the wearer immune to her Majesty?"