The Alphabet of Love Ch. 17

Derek wanted to drive my car, so I let him. He'd leased a Jaguar upon his return to Boston but he still had fantasies of sports cars. He wanted to see how he liked mine. He managed to keep it near the speed limit on our way to Normandy Park. It felt weird to be sitting in the passenger seat in my own car.

The detectives were waiting for us. I was pretty certain we were going to disappoint them by not being able to pick anyone out of a lineup, but that turned out not to be how they showed us their suspect. They'd put him into a room with a two-way mirror so we could see him sitting at the little desk by himself.

Derek stood, hands in pockets, serious look on his face. I folded my arms and watched the man restlessly lean forward and back in the chair, get up, walk around. I got a good look at his face but I knew I'd never seen him before. Derek didn't appear to recognize him, either.

"What do you think?" Detective Sains asked us after a few minutes.

"I'm sorry," I shook my head.

Derek was shaking his, too. "I've never seen that man."

"Well," the detective sighed, "it was worth a shot. We did find he has connections in the Las Vegas area. So it's likely he knows the suspects in that murder. Law enforcement down there is trying to find a way to extradite him."

"Tell me honestly, do you think we're in danger?" I asked him.

"I can't say no, but it doesn't seem to me that you know anything that could convict them. At least that's what it looked like in the statements you gave in Boulder City."

So he'd read them, I thought. Good.

"Then why did he come here?" Derek wanted to know.

"That's the question," the detective nodded. "We're interrogated him but he claims he was just looking for things to sell. Claims he doesn't have any of your stuff anymore, that he fenced it all. We don't believe him."

"So is he going to make bail?" Derek wanted to know.

The detective shrugged. "Some guy came to see him earlier. Nice suit, probably gonna fork it over when he's arraigned. He'll split town and we'll never find him again."

"Well, that's great," I rolled my eyes.

"That's why we're trying to get as much out of him as we can, but he knows he's going to be out of here and we'll never find him again. He doesn't have any reason to talk, and we've got no leverage."

Feeling uneasy, Derek and I left the police station and drove to my apartment. Now, every time I got home I took a deep breath before unlocking the door, hoping not to see all my belongings flung around and broken. Faldo meowed when I pushed open the door, and followed us inside.

"He's a weird cat," Derek observed as we went into the kitchen. He watched me drop a dollop of wet food into Faldo's dish.

"He doesn't even like me," I said with a sigh.

"I know for sure he doesn't like me," he nodded. "Does he like anyone?"

I couldn't tell him that Faldo loved Trevor. I just shrugged.

"I'm going to check in with the kids and the security people," he told me.

"I'll open some wine," I said, and he nodded as he left the kitchen. I wondered if his kids would still be awake on a school night; it was nearly midnight back east.

I found him in the living room in shirtsleeves, tie gone, in his socks. He'd propped his feet on my coffee table, and took the wine glass I offered as he talked on the phone.

I turned on the television (which had been miraculously unscathed in the destruction), put it on mute, and scrolled through to see if I could find a movie for us to watch. Snuggling on the couch sounded good to me right now. I vaguely listened to Derek's end of the conversation and I liked that he hadn't tried to keep me from hearing anything.

"Sure, she's here," I heard him say. "I'll see if she will."

I looked at him.

"Mercury wants to talk to you."

I gulped, and took the phone. "Hello?"

"Hi, Shiloh," came a voice far younger-sounding and sweet than I expected from a girl with 'communist' activism in her soul. "I just - wanted to say hi. Dad's told us a lot about you."

I looked at Derek and raised an eyebrow. "I'll bet he has."

"He's crazy about you," she went on. "It's good for him. I hope you can get him to relax and take some time off. All he does is work."

"Thank you," I said. "But I'm not going to tell him what to do. I've learned that's the fastest way to get rid of a man."

She laughed. "Well I guess if you ever want to get rid of him, you know what to do."

"Oh, I'm not done with him yet," I smiled.

Derek grinned at me.

"I hope you'll come to Boston so we can meet you," Mercury told me.

"I'd like that, but I don't know when I'll be able to."

"Wouldn't you like to see it before you get married and come to live here?"

"I - what?"

"Sorry," she said sheepishly. "He said you hadn't agreed yet, but he really loves you."

"I love him, too," I took Derek's hand. He lifted mine to his lips and kissed it.

"Maybe we can do something on spring break," she suggested.

"We'll see. You can coordinate with him."

"Okay, tell him I'm fine and to stop worrying. I'll talk to him tomorrow."

"I will. Nice talking to you."

"You too."

I handed the phone back to Derek; he had a mischievous smile on his face.

"What?" I asked him, sipping my wine.

"She's taken to you and you haven't even met," he said.

I shrugged. "She'll probably hate me."

"Bullshit. She could use a strong, focused woman role model in her life."

"Derek -"

He held up his hand. "I'm sorry. I'll stop pressuring you."

I picked up the remote again and worked myself into his embrace. He draped his free hand over my shoulder. "How about a movie?" I suggested.

"Sure, what do you like to watch?"

"Mmm," I rubbed my nose against his neck, "something romantic."

"How about an espionage flick or adventure?"

"You're no fun."

"Well, if a romance movie would get you in the mood, then by all means," he said, kissing my forehead. "Although you don't seem to need a lot to get you in the mood."

"No I don't," I agreed. "Just being with you turns me on."

He kissed my mouth and lingered, looking into my eyes. "I bet you say that to all the guys."

It was true, actually. My sexuality lived very near the surface of my being; it had got me into trouble falling in love many times.

I just returned his kiss, hoping he wouldn't pursue this line of thought.

We managed to agree on a historical adventure film with a romantic subplot. I snuggled closer to him and the next thing I knew, I woke up to see him with the remote in his hand, looking through the channels.

"Did I sleep through it all?" I asked him. My mouth felt dry.

He nodded. "You did, but that's all right. I dozed off, too."

"Maybe we should just go to bed."

He flicked the TV off and dropped the remote beside him. "Good idea."

So we got up and moved to the bedroom. It felt right having him here, in some ways like we'd been together for a long time. We undressed for bed like an old married couple. He got in first and pulled me close when I joined him.

"This feels good," he said in a low voice after I'd turned off the lamp.

"I know. Like it's meant to be."

"I keep telling you that," he chided me.

I rolled over to face him, though I could scarcely see his face in the dark. "You're wearing me down," I had to admit.

"If I get you an engagement ring you're not committed to anything," he said. "You can give it back if you don't want to go through with it."

"No," I refused.

"No what?"

"I won't wear an engagement ring under those circumstances. If I accept it, I'm committed to you. This isn't a game. I want to be married, and when I decide to do it, it'll be forever."

He kissed me. "I want you forever, Shiloh. No one has ever made me feel like you do. I've worked all the time because I had no one. I met women all the time through work, travel, and everything, but I never pursued anything because nothing sparked. It shocked the shit out of me when I was so instantly attracted to you."

"I thought it was just sex," I teased him. Mostly because that's what it was for me. I'd only had sex with him the first time because past experience had shown me that older men were better lovers.

"Well, of course it was," he admitted. "You were so beautiful, intelligent, confident - a real woman. Not a Barbie doll or a flake or attention whore. God knows I've had plenty of those throw themselves at me."

"Really?" I asked, surprised.

"It's not a big secret that my marriage has been bad for a long time. I heard the scuttlebutt at the clinic. Women thought if I met the so-called 'right woman,' I'd finally get a divorce."

I laughed. "So you dodge a gauntlet of horny women every day."

"Golddiggers mostly," he sighed. "I wasn't even looking for anyone. I had my work. That's who I've been married to."

"I'm gonna be vilified if I marry you, then," I said, rather liking the idea.

"You'll be the woman who breaks the hearts of all those others. Come on, I'm not that good-looking. But I do have a successful practice and I've made bank. That's all they're after."

"You are too that good-looking," I disagreed. "Don't be so modest."

"If I weren't the great Doctor Wiley, they wouldn't give a shit. And I'd be a lot happier."

I laughed. "Is it such a hardship, being desired by masses of women?"

"I think they'd stop dressing so silly. I don't know how many dress code reminders I've told HR to email everyone. The cleavage and short skirts get ridiculous. Even some of the nurses."

"And I've spent my whole career wearing turtlenecks and buttoning up my shirts," I said with a sigh.

"Your breasts are magnificent," he gently touched me. "They'd be very distracting. They distract me."

"Mmm I've noticed," I pushed myself toward him.

We'd just got into delicious foreplay when the jarring buzz of my doorbell startled us.

"Is that yours?" Derek asked, looking up from between my legs, where he'd been pleasuring me.

"Yes, but no one would come over this time of night."

He moved to sit up on the edge of the bed. "You don't suppose your intruder sent a friend over."

"Oh shit," I said, grabbing for a sheet to cover myself as the buzzer sounded again.

"I'll go look out the peephole," he stood, managed to get his shorts on, and padded out of the bedroom. I left the light off and found a bathrobe on the back of the bathroom door. I tied it around my waist and followed him out.

"Who is it?" I whispered.

He squinted through the peephole. "Some guy. Doesn't really look like the gang type."

I moved over and looked myself. "It's my Dad!" I cried in shock. Immediately, though, I was outraged. What in the hell was he doing here?

"You gonna open the door?" Derek asked me.

Muttering to myself, I switched on the light and unlocked it as Derek retreated to the bedroom, I assumed to put on more clothing.

"Shiloh!" my father smiled, and grabbed me in a hug. A duffel bag sat at his feet. Did he think he was going to stay here? What was going on?

"Hi, Dad," I said, trying to sound casual but feeling anything but. "What - what are you doing here?"

He picked up his bag and moved past me, dropping it onto my couch. I shut the door behind him. This was going to be awkward.

"I tried calling you," he unzipped his poofy coat and it went on top of his bag. "They said you'd left early. I couldn't get you on your cell, either."

"No?" that seemed strange. "Maybe the battery died. I haven't checked it since before I left the clinic. But what are you doing here?"

"Pacific Northwest Conference on Hydroelectric Sustainability," he answered, his eyes moving around the room. He'd been here before but not recently. I was a bit surprised that he remembered where I lived.

My Dad stood around six feet tall, with thinning brown hair, a tummy pooch, and a gregarious smile. No wonder Derek hadn't taken him for a Nevada criminal. He looked way too normal.

Speaking of Derek, he chose that moment to enter. He'd put on his terrible polyester track pants and a Boston Strong t-shirt. His tousled hair and bare feet left no doubt that he hadn't just come for dinner.

"Oh- hello," my Dad said, surprised, looking him up and down, then at me.

"Derek Wiley," Derek offered his hand.

Glancing at me again, my Dad accepted it. "Brad Westland. Shiloh's father."

"Pleasure to meet you, Mr. Westland."

"Dad, uh, Derek is a friend," I said stupidly.

"I see," my Dad was itching to say more, I could tell. For one thing, he had to realize that he and Derek were not that far apart in age. Besides the fact that obviously Derek was here for the night.

"So - this conference," I jumped in, "you're here for that."

"Yes, and I thought it'd be a great time to see you. Maybe I should have called further ahead of time."

"Well, yes, I could have planned something," I said lamely.

"What conference is that?" Derek asked politely.

So my Dad told him. He explained that he was a hydroelectric engineer. I detected a bit of condescension in his voice, especially when he asked Derek what his profession was.

"I'm a nephrologist," Derek told him. "I have a clinic in Boston."

Dad looked properly chastised. "I see. So you're - colleagues."

"That's how we met," I nodded. "Uh, can I get you anything? Drink? Are you hungry?"

"No, I had dinner, thanks. Look, if this is going to be an inconvenience I'll stay at the hotel. I just thought since I was in the area we might spend some time together."

Derek and I glanced at each other. He didn't have anywhere else to go and I wasn't about to shunt him off to a hotel. I went to Derek's side and put my arm around his waist. "You can sleep on the couch," I told my Dad. "I've only got one bedroom."

He nodded. "That's fine. If you're sure."

"Yes, I'm sure," I said, though I was anything but. So much for raucous sex. "As long as you don't mind . . . " I looked up at Derek.

"You sleeping together?" he finished for me. "You're an adult, and this is your place. I can't tell you what to do." But his tone of voice said it all.

Derek kissed me chastely on the forehead. "I'm off to bed. You two have a good visit."

Before I could keep hold of him, he'd said good night and left me alone with my father.

"How old is he?" was the first thing he said as soon as Derek was gone.

"It doesn't matter," I said firmly.

"You're too smart to let an older man soil you," he said, in the misogynistic way he had of belittling me.

"I love him," I said at once. "I love him. This isn't some cheap thing."

"He lives in Boston? How is that a relationship?"

"Well, he's here, isn't he?"

"Shiloh. Don't you want to have children?"

"Dad, please."

He sat on the couch and patted the seat beside him. Reluctantly I joined him.

"Your sisters aren't getting with the program. I don't know when I'm going to be a grandfather."

I didn't consider those two empty-headed dingbats my sisters. I bit my tongue.

"I'd like to see you happy with a family," he said. "And someone like that - he's got to be close to my age or so. He can't give you that."

"How do you know what I want?" I spoke up.

"Well, I—"

"You don't," I interrupted him. "I have rewarding work that I spent a lot of years training to do. When and if I have a family is completely up in the air right now. I love what I'm doing."

"That's good, sweetheart, it is. I'm glad. I'm so proud of you. I've held you up as an example to your sisters but they just don't have the academic drive that you had."

It was all I could do to keep from laughing.

He sat quietly for a moment, then spoke again. "So does this mean you'll be moving back east?"

I shook my head. "I haven't decided anything yet. Derek wants to marry me and he has a clinic back in Boston that he really can't leave unless he wants to retire early. So if I do marry him, then yes, I'd be moving there."

"I see. And you're really sure about him? I mean, he's a doctor and all, but it's not like you need the financial security."

I frowned at him. "Do you think I'm just interested in his wealth? Because I'm not. I'm doing fine. When and if I get married it's going to be for love."

"I hope so," he said, running a hand over his balding head. "But there are a lot of other things to consider. I wish I'd been smarter when I met your mother. That was the biggest mistake of my life."

I'd heard this tale before, from him and from her. And here I was, the glaring reminder of that colossal mistake.

"Derek and I have our work in common. That's a huge thing for me, because only another doctor understands the commitment you make. He treats me well, he's always been a gentleman."

"Has he been married before?"

I nodded. "Yes." I saw no reason to go into detail.

"I mean, it's got to be a coup for him, scoring a pretty younger wife. Someone to have on his arm to make all his doctor friends jealous."

I tried not to roll my eyes. "Derek's not like that," I assured him.

"He's a man," he shrugged. "We're all like that."

I wouldn't argue with him. He had his antediluvian ideas that I'd never change.

"Does your conference start tomorrow?" I asked, changing the subject.

He nodded. "Yes, I'll need to be up early to drive there in the morning. I suppose I should get some sleep."

"How long will you be here?"

"Just tonight and tomorrow," he said. "If you don't mind."

"No, I don't mind," I said. I really did, but he was my father. I couldn't kick him out. "I'll get you a pillow and some bedding."

"Thanks," he said as I went to retrieve them.

When I returned, he was gone; I assumed in the bathroom. I made up a bed for him on the couch and waited for him. He was back soon, in boxer shorts and a t-shirt. He hugged me.

"I love you, Shiloh," he said, and it was one of the few times in my life I think he really meant it.

"I love you, too," I said. "Sleep well."

"I'll try not to wake you in the morning."

"I don't mind," I said. "I'll make you coffee and breakfast if you want. There are towels in the closet in the bathroom for your shower."

He nodded. We hugged again and I left him there and entered the dark bedroom, shutting the door quietly. Derek had probably fallen asleep by now.

But when I climbed in beside him, he moved close and put his arm around my waist.

"Everything okay?" he asked in a low voice.

"Yes," I said. "He's leaving early in the morning but he'll be back tomorrow night."

"Then we have the day for ourselves."

"Yes."

"Good, because I have to fly back the day after tomorrow."

Sadness filled me but I wouldn't let on to him how much I hated hearing this. "I understand."

"It's going to kill me to leave you," he said, planting soft kisses on my neck.

I felt tears in my eyes and couldn't stifle my sob.

"Hey, what's wrong?" he asked, concerned, propping himself up on his elbow, looking down at me.

I touched his face. "I don't want you to leave."

"Marry me," he whispered, and kissed me.

"Yes," I said, gasping for breath as I sobbed again. I pulled him down to me.

"Yes, I will."