The BBC

"That would'a worked," she gasped.

"Whah?" I gushed. I was feeling like I was about to pass out. It was almost like I was drunk but all I'd had was a sip of that shitty James Bind drink.

"If yew was tryin' ta git inta mah panties ... that would'a worked," she said. "We'd better git out there and dance before I git unladylike."

I took her hand and we stepped back onto the large glittery dance floor. There must've been a thousand lights illuminating that room from a hundred different angles but none of them matched the brightness of those two brown eyes staring into mine.

If we hadn't been dancing before, this time was worse. Our feet didn't even move. We just stood there in one spot with our arms wrapped around each other.

"Eric, ah cain't breathe," she said. I tried to loosen my arms and she tightened hers. "It ain't that," she said. "Yew kin hold me as tight as yew want for as long ... hell ...forevuh ... but it feels like there just ain't enough air in this room."

We walked out onto the deck and into the moonlight. It felt as though there were only two people in the world. Only she and I mattered. Under that huge moon we were powerless. We were swept up in a tide that was both relentless and inevitable.

It was like the Borg. I heard a voice in the back of my head that was far louder than the rushing in my ears. It said, "Jean Luc ... Resistance is Futile."

And then our lips met and time seemingly stopped. We were swept up in something bigger than both of us. It felt as if the world was spinning all around us. It was like that scene in Lucy where Scarlett Johansen sits in that chair and watches history happen from outside of the flow of time.

I never wanted that kiss to end but it did. And something happened. When I caught Dana with her guru and learned the kind of woman she really was I described it as having my heart stop. I said that I felt empty. I think the word I used was, "hollow."

From the second that I kissed Jenny ... my heart started beating again. It was louder, prouder and stronger than it had ever been. And instead of hollow, I felt as if I was so full that I would explode."

"Jenny ... I ..." I mumbled.

"Ah know ... stupid," she gushed. "Jest shut up an' kiss me agin!"

In my mind, I thought it was a perfect moment. I wished that I could have captured that moment somehow to save it on a shelf and revisit it whenever times were bad. But reality struck.

"What the hell!" said an angry voice from behind us.

"Hey ... shit! That's Eric," said another voice.

"Some WOMAN is attacking him!" said another.

"Fuckin' trains," said a voice I recognized. "Yuh cain't stop 'em!"

In an instant reality had intervened to destroy my perfect moment. In less than a heartbeat I went from ten feet tall and bulletproof to two feet tall and covered in shit.

I stood there in front of the angry members of my club. Some of them were pissed. Some were confused and others just looked disappointed.

I had no words. But then a tiny hand inserted itself into mine. And lightning went through my veins. I realized then that I didn't need any words. The guys in the club were my friends and true friends understood.

True friends would be happy for me. So, I held back the urge to apologize. Shit I hadn't done anything wrong.

"Guys we dock in the morning," I began. "As soon as we get back, we'll have a meeting to discuss the future. Until then Thom and Will, will be running things ... Good night!"

They all looked confused and hurt.

Will looked at Thom. "For three God damned days you've been mumbling about Fuckin' Trains," he said. "That's what you were talking about? Why didn't you just say it in English? We could have stopped if!"

"How Will?" asked Thom. "Somethin' that strong ... there just ain't no way ta stop it. All yuh kin do is git outta the way!"

The next morning was weird. It was eerily calm, like the calm before a storm. I was sure that my club members were going to try an intervention or something but when trouble reared its ugly head it came from a completely different quarter.

I had awakened early. It was dumb. As much as I wanted to stay asleep and relive the dreams of Jenny I'd had during the night, I wanted to get up and see her in person even more.

I was overjoyed when she and my daughter showed up, all packed and ready for breakfast.

While a lot of people slept in or did their packing to prepare for leaving the ship, the three of us sat on one of the upper decks and watched with some trepidation as the city-sized ship docked.

We seemed forever on the verge of a crash, but the skilled and experienced crew pulled it off amazingly well. We didn't feel even the gentlest bump as we settled in.

The sun was high in the sky and it was just afternoon when it all went to shit.

I remember us walking hand in hand, Jenny holding onto Erica's left hand and me holding her right hand when I felt it. It scared the shit out of me until I realized what it was. My phone was ringing.

"Eric!" said the voice. "Where are you? Are you still on the cruise? We have a problem ... a big one."

"Did Dad have another attack?" I said.

"I almost did," he said. Hearing his voice let me know that he was okay and that the phone was on speaker.

"Eric is Erica with you?" asked Nancy.

"Yep, she's right here," I said.

"Make sure she can't hear us," said Nancy.

"My phone isn't on speaker," I said. "The boat just docked."

"Oh, Jesus that's good news," said Nancy.

"For you, maybe," said her husband. "I wasn't going anywhere, anyhow! My heart can't stand too much more of this shit!"

"Eric how soon could you get to Las Vegas?" she asked.

"It's roughly five hours if we rent a car and drive," I said. "But we could fly in a little over an hour if it's an emergency."

"Eric it's an emergency," she said. "But you can't take Erica. This wouldn't be something she should see."

"Nancy, we have our tickets to fly home already booked," I said. "I think I could switch my ticket for a later one and fly to Vegas and then fly home from there. What's going on?" She explained the situation to me and I got angry all over again.

"Daddy why is your face red?" asked Erica.

"Jenny, I need a favor," I said.

"No!" she said. I was floored.

"B-but last night I did a favor for ..." she stuck that hand over my lips again.

"Last night ... was the best night evuh!" she said. "But things changed. Friends do favuhs for each other. But we're way beyond that friends thing. If yuh want somethin' yew just ask me and I'll do it cuz I luv ya."

"Ooh Daddy and Jenny sittin' in a tree ..." sang Erica. "K-I-S-S-I-N-G!"

"I need you to take Erica home," I said. "I have to go to Vegas." Her face got serious. And she nodded.

"I'll call you as soon as I can," I told her.

" Eric ah always call yew," she laughed. "Do you even have mah number?"

"Of course," I said. "I got it. I got your number off the wall. For a good time ... for a good time call ... 867-5309!"

"Ah hate that damned song," she spat.

* * * * * *

Dana

Life must hate me. I woke up again with a huge hangover. This time though I knew where I was and why.

"You're awake huh?" asked Peggy.

I turned away from her. I didn't need to hear another word out of her lying mouth.

I was in a holding cell with about twenty other women. A cop came in and started shuttling us one at a time to a phone where we could make our calls. Some of us had obviously made their calls the night before when we'd been brought in.

Those of us who were too drunk or too high were put off until morning. It was 9 a.m. so in Michigan it had to be sometime afternoon. With the phone on hand I thought about it. There were only two people I could call.

If I called my mother she'd be pissed. If I called my husband, my life would end. There would be no chance of saving my marriage if I called Eric.

I punched in the number and spoke to my mother. I didn't give her any details. There was no point in giving her any ammunition to use against me. Besides my mom was too God damned chummy with my husband for my taste. If I told her, there was a good chance of him finding out.

The phone rang and she answered on the third ring.

"Mom ... I'm in trouble," I said.

"Dana you're always in trouble," she said cheerfully.

"Mom, I'm in jail," I said.

"Well that's one way of getting your own place," she smirked.

"Mom this is serious," I said. "Someone has to come and bail me out. You can do it with a credit card, but it can't be over the phone. They require the person bailing me out to show up in person."

"What about a bail bondsman?" she asked.

"I don't have the money for that," I said.

"What did you do?" she asked.

"I don't exactly know," I lied. "It's one of those touristy things. You know how the laws are different from state to state. Things we do all the time in Michigan are illegal as hell here."

"How much is you bond?" she asked.

"Two thousand dollars," I said.

"Oh, so you only need two hundred to get out ... right?" she asked.

"No mom," I said. "Since I live in a different state, I'm considered a flight risk. I need two thousand dollars to get out."

"Where are you exactly?" she said. I have her the information. "Let me make a couple of phone calls and make some arrangements," she said. "It might take a little bit of time ... ah it's not like you're going anywhere." Then she hung up.

As I returned to the holding cell Peggy was waiting for me. "Can you get me out too?" she asked.

"Why the fuck would I even think about that?" I asked.

"Cause I'm your best friend," she smiled.

"Peggy, you fucked me," I said. "I wouldn't even be here if it wasn't for you."

"Dana a lot of people fucked you last night, but they were all men," she said. "Three of them were fucking you when the police broke in and raided the party. All I was trying to do was get you to have some fun."

I couldn't figure out which one of us was the dumb one. Her for saying it ... or me for having gone along with it after the terrible advice she'd given me during my divorce.

But truthfully the position I was in was my own fault. The blame for all of this ... the reason my life had gone to shit was all due to my own belief that I was above everything.

For some reason, I had simply never believed that the rules applied to me. In college ... shit it was my first time out of the house. I went wild. A lot of girls do. A lot of guys do too. For the first time in my life I was totally in charge of what I did.

I was cute. I was over eighteen and I was on the pill. What could go wrong?

It was all fun until I ended up pregnant. Then the guys scattered like roaches when the lights come on. They'd all been man enough to stick their dicks in me but when things got serious, Eric was the only one left standing. And he was standing right by my side.

Maybe he was a little naive, or shit maybe he was just stupid. I think he was both. He was also kind of stuck on me. The right way to do things would have been for me to be honest with him.

I should have told him that I fucked around and I wasn't sure whose baby it was. A DNA test during or right after the pregnancy could have saved us a lot of pain. And who knows? If he loved me as much as he claimed, maybe he'd have stuck around anyway.

But he never asked for one. He just accepted things and loved us anyway. That only emboldened me. I guess I thought that if I'd gotten away with that one, I could make anything work.

Eric wasn't my dream man by any stretch of the imagination. I'd dreamed of big, strong, muscular guys who swept me off my feet. But he grew on me over the years.

We did have a good chemistry that blossomed over time. I was very good at playing the dutiful wife and rewarding myself for being good by occasionally hooking up with other guys.

I guess I thought that I had settled for Eric. And then one day I realized that he really wasn't so bad and that I could have done a hell of a lot worse.

We had the perfect family ... until Erica started school and got that fucking DNA test. Luckily, I'd never told Eric about the test. It was a last-minute thing. I'd gone all over the house looking for something send in as a sample. I sent a few hairs from his comb and forgot about it.

When the results came back it took me a while to realize what it said. I sat there looking at the paper and realizing the danger it posed to my family.

I shredded the paper and then shredded the shreds. Then I emptied the shredder and burned everything to ashes. I then washed all of the ashes into the sewer with our garden hose.

Over the next few years Eric and I ... okay mostly I fell in love. He was already there. We had a playfulness to our relationship that few other couples had. And then I fucked it all away to have sex with a fifty something year old yoga teacher.

Peggy's stupidity had only kept the fire going she hadn't started it. I'd been so lost in my thoughts over those few hours that I hadn't realized how quickly time was passing. They had to call my name three times and Peggy had to shake me to realize they wanted me.

"Your bail has been arranged," said the cop in front of the door. "Come this way and we've got some papers for you to sign. You can go back to Michigan but if you fail to appear for your hearing in sixty days your bond will be revokes and a warrant will be issued for your arrest.

The smile that broke out on my face was huge. My mother had come through for me after all.

"See ya around, Peg," I threw over my shoulder.

My elation and relief ended the second that I realized what my mom had done. She'd simply done what I myself had done with so many of my problems. She'd kicked the can down the road.

Eric sat in the room waiting for me. The look of disappointment and disgust on his face wasn't as bad as I'd expected though. It was as if he could no longer be shocked by anything I did ... either that or he simply no longer cared what I did.

"Prostitution!" he said loudly. "How the fuck do you get arrested for prostitution in a state where prostitution is legal?"

"Uh sir!" Offered one of the cops. "It has to be conducted in a state licensed facility in an area zoned for it. We can't allow women to just come into town and start spreading their legs all over anywhere like she and her friends did."

"In other words, if you can't charge taxes on it so the government can't get their cut it's not legal," said Eric.

"Exactly!" said the cop.

The flight back to Michigan was the longest, quietest, tensest flight ever. Eric leaned so far away from me that it was like we were strangers. It was almost as if he didn't want to touch me for fear that my many imagined venereal diseases would leap off of me and infect him.

"Eric ... thanks for coming to get me," I said. "Especially considering our divorce and everything. Is it possible that you could come back for my hearing too?"

"I'm not sure," he said.

"Eric, we may be divorced," I said. "But we have a child together. And there has to be SOME feelings left between us. If there was nothing left you wouldn't have come to get me. What else will you be doing in early June?"

He turned to me and smiled. It wasn't a sarcastic smile. He wasn't smiling because he was hurting me or getting some type of revenge. It was a genuine happy smile as if what he was thinking about gave him an incredible amount of joy.

"Jenny wants a June wedding," he said. "I think I'll be getting married or on my honeymoon.

And he was right. They got married just before my hearing and they were on their honeymoon while I went back to Las Vegas.

The woman he married, Jenny, I had to admit is both incredibly nice, and really beautiful. She and Eric remind me of those Magnetic lights that that turn on when you bring them together. The closer they get the brighter they glow.

The hardest part for me to accept is the fact that somehow MY mother accidentally pushed them together. But it could never have happened if I hadn't pushed him away from me. My habit of kicking the can down the road finally bit me in the ass. I kicked the can so far that I just ran out of road. There was no chance of me getting Eric back.

I got two years on probation, during which time I had to report within two hours for random drug screenings.

I couldn't afford to fly back and forth and the drug screening requirement made it impossible so I had to move to Vegas. Eric had no problem taking care of Erica full time. But to his credit, he brought her to Vegas to see me at least once a month and made sure that I was included in every decision about her life.

He flew her to Vegas and the three of us plus Jenny, talked when Erica decided to give up swimming. It turned out to be a great move because she was a good swimmer but she may go to the Olympics for horse jumping.

After I moved back to Michigan, I lived a quiet life with my parents until my dad passed after his second heart attack. Now my mom and I live together and I have a good job working for a company that Eric started.

I keep hoping to meet my next Mr. Right and maybe someday it'll happen.

* * * * * *

Epilog

For such a beautiful woman, it always amazes me how much more beautiful my wife is when she's about to cum. As I looked at her face I was frozen in place, half in and half out of her.

"Eric ..." she whined. "You're starin' again. We ain't got much tahm as it is. Erica'll be back from feedin' th' horses in about ten minutes."

I smiled at her as she frantically gyrated her pelvis to get me to start again.

"Make me cum, baby," she whined. "Please! Ah'll do whatevuh you want. You kin bust my ayess tonight when we git home, I swear it, just keep ..."

A couple of more strokes and she was purring like a kitten again. I grabbed her around her waist and started pulling her to me harder and faster. She loved it. Her features morphed again into that angelic face she assumed just as she let go of her senses and screamed.

I lost control with her and we snuggled together holding each other tightly.

"Yew are soooo dumb," she smirked.

"I don't get to bust that ass?" I asked.

"Ah luv ya ... Dummy, yew get ta bust mah ayess whenever yew want. Ah was jest wondering if yah noticed anathang," she smiled at me and I reached into the drawer beside the bed and pulled out my favorite Ray Bans. Her smile was so bright I had to wear shades.

"Well ... Is it that you're even more beautiful?" I said. At that moment Erica bounded into the room.

"Oh my God you smell like a horse," I said.

"Ah was feedin' em," she said. We'd moved into a bigger house with room around it for two horses and a corral for Erica to train in. There were also multi-use trails that she rode and I ran on nearby.

But we were still smack in the middle of a fairly industrialized part of Michigan, so my daughter's Texas drawl showed how much time she spent with Jenny.

"Did he figger it out yet?" she asked.

"Naw," said Jenny.

"Why's he wearin' them sunglasses in th bed?" asked Erica.

"He thanks he's funny," said Jenny.

"I'm gonna give 'im a clue," said Erica. "Daddy, how many people live in this house?"

"Five," I said. "You, me, Jenny and your two horses."

"Nope," she smirked. "It's four."

"Did one of the horses die?" I asked.

"Of course not," she said. "I said PEOPLE and I said live IN the house."

Remembering that she'd already said four I had a thought. "Is your grandpa coming to stay with us?"

"He's kind a dumb ain't he?" she asked Jenny.

"But he's cute," said Jenny.

My eleven-year-old daughter could contain herself no longer. "We're having a baby, Daddy," she said excitedly.

All I could do was sit up in bed staring at Jenny, stupidly. She nodded. It had to be one of the happiest days in a life full of them.