The Chaos Theory

"Wow, that's good and bad, good she seems to enjoy being with me and bad she has to wait so long to be happy."

"Oh! I can see why she loves you Joshua Greening, you silver tongued devil."

"Oh! Issy, don't be silly, she's a really fun friend."

"Just a 'friend' then?"

"No! more than a friend, oh what the hell! Issy I love your sister, truly, madly, totally, completely. She lights up everything I see or do with her. I feel lost without her, I just want to make her happy all the time."

"Well you're doing a great job at the moment."

"I hope so, I just wish I could make her happy with me for always."

"Whooa Buster, that sounds a bit too serious, are you thinking what I think you're thinking?"

"If you're thinking, that I want to marry her, you're right, or do I misread you?"

"Noooo! I think you may be a little bit ahead of yourself now, after all it's been one date and a night together."

"Err two dates and a night together."

"Two?"

"Yes, look the meeting at the College, then on the pub and back to your place, that's one; then the meal at the Unicorn, altogether that's two dates."

"Hmm, that's sounding like a bit of a statistical fudge, Prof., you sure Bill counts it as two dates?"

"Pretty sure, well almost, I think so, I explained it to her."

"She laughed?"

"Yup!"

"OK!"

"What's 'OK' mean?"

"Nothing,"

"No, no don't 'nothing' me, explain please?"

"Bill was joking with you, you know..."

"She was fucking with me, as you Americans so succinctly put it, humouring me."

"Pretty much, but I think that's because she loves you too."

"You think so?"

"I'm sure Prof., my kid sister is completely gone on you."

"Wow!"

"Wow Indeed!"

"Issy, do you think your parents would approve of me?"

"Are you for real? they would love you, the minute you fell in the door they would lap you up."

"Now you're fucking with me!"

"For sure. No really, they would welcome you with open arms. Mother would be unbearable, so over the top, Dad would want a man to man,"

Issy's voice deepened,

"Take care of my little girl, she is my world, hurt her and I'll kill you," she smiled

"You know the usual mano a mano thing you guys do."

"Ohh really?"

"Hey Geoff got it and he stayed around."

"I will be around Bill for as long as she wants me to."

"OK then don't go planning any solo trips for a while."

"Thanks Issy, I love your sister, I really do."

Josh glanced at Issy and smiled.

"You Goddam Brits and that lazy smile, us Yankee girls fall for it all the time." She grinned back.

"Oh it's a genius plan by the Government for slowly reclaiming America, by marrying every American girl to an Englishman."

Issy laughed as she pulled into the car park and nosed the car into a vacant space.

"There you go Prof. from our door to your floor. Chequer cabs, find us in the Yellow Pages."

"Thanks Issy,"

Josh leaned over to kiss her cheek just as Issy turned to say goodbye, their lips met and she pushed him back laughing.

"Getoff you big lunk save that for the girl that cares," she said as she pulled herself out of the car.

Reddening Josh opened the door put a foot out and realised he still had his seat belt on. Issy leaned back into the car saw Josh's antics and roared.

"God Almighty Prof. you start early in the morning don'tcha?"

"I'm OK, here, now, just have to push the catch and, Oh!"

The belt under tension whipped back and the metal buckle caught him on the chin, dazed, his head fell forward. Issy heard the bump as he failed to get his hands out in front of him and his forehead hit the dashboard. Looking back into the car she saw him slump sideways. Shaking her head she pulled her mobile out and pressed a speed dial number.

"Hi Bill, yeah, you might want to go down to A & E, looks like the Prof. just knocked himself out. No he's out cold and I need to dial for an ambulance."

Cutting off her sister Issy dialed the emergency number and gave the details. A crowd of Masters and students gathered round the unconscious figure slumped in the car. Issy shook her head slowly and smiled, what a pair.

"OK people, let's give the Prof. some air please, stand back or go on with your business, there's aid on it's way," she yelled fruitlessly, as the rubberkneckers all gathered around.

Josh woke with a pounding in his temple and an ache in his jaw. As things began to focus he saw a worried Bill sitting at his side.

"Whereami?"

"Hi Josh, you know where you are don't you?"

"Whereami?"

"That's right Hospital."

"Whathappenedtome?"

"You probably can't remember what happened to you?"

"S'rightWhathappenedtome?"

"You bumped your head, do you remember?"

"I..."

"OK, you rest now, it will be OK, you need to rest."

"IloveyouBill!"

"Yes it's me, you're going to be fine, I love you Josh, now sleep."

"Whereami?"

"Yes, you need to sleep."

"Whereami?"

"Yes I'll stay here at the hospital."

"Ohh!"

His eyelips drooped and Bill watched him drift back to sleep. Issy and Geoff arrived and Geoff took Bill away to the cafeteria to find a hot drink and a snack, whilst Issy sat by Josh's bed.

Issy saw Josh's eyelids flicker then open.

"Well hello Professor Greening, how are you this evening."

"Bill?"

"No it's Issy, Bill's getting refreshments and will be back soon."

"I love her, I really do you know."

"I know silly, we all do, she's a very lovable girl."

"I love you too Issy, but as a friend, a very, very good friend."

"Aww now that's sweet honey, but you need to rest."

A tall man in his sixties came in with a woman, elegant and slightly shorter than he.

"God almighty what's he done this time?" exploded the man, as his partner raised her fingers to her mouth.

"Quiet, George, can't you see the boys sleeping. Oh hello are you the lady that called us?"

"Hi! yes I'm Issy, I work with the Prof. he had the accident in my car this morning."

"Oh! are you and he..?"

"Oh! no he's dating my sister, she's just getting some refreshments, she's been here all day and my husband has made her take a break."

Issy rose and offered the woman her chair.

"God Issy I really love her, she's so cute and fresh and..." Josh murmured in his sleep.

"Well, I must meet your sister, she's seems to have made quite an impression on our son."

"He's made a hell of an impression on me too." Bill walked in and held her hand out.

"I'm Bill, Josh and I we're, well we.. ahh, I'm getting a little bit flustered here Issy, can you help me out?" she winced and looked pleadingly at her sister.

The man turned and glared at Bill, then broke into a smile.

"If my son professes his love for you, then I guess you two are more than friends am I right?"

"You're right?"

"good let's not beat about the bush, I'm George, this is Pamela, you're Bill, that's your sister Issy and this gentleman is?"

"Geoff, I'm Issy's husband, Bill's brother in law."

They shook hands and the women hugged each other.

"So glad to meet you all," Pamela Greening said. "George can be a bit off putting at times but he's a teddy bear really, aren't you dear?"

She placed an arm round his waist, he smiled and kissed her forehead,

"Grrrr." he growled grinning.

"Please Mrs Greening, Pamela, take a seat, sit down." Issy pointed to the chair by the bed.

"No that's Bill's seat, come on, sit down, he's been murmuring your name. I expect he'd rather see your pretty face than any of us."

Pamela Greening ushered Bill to the chair and placed her arms on her shoulders when she sat.

"There, now all we need is for the patient to wake up,"

As if on cue Josh opened his eyes again, this time his focus was almost perfect, he stared at Bill enraptured.

"Fuck! I've died and gone to heaven." he said, as the others giggled.

"You can be so coarse Joshua, what happened to all the manners we taught you, " grumbled George Greening, whilst the others suppressed their laughter.

"Dad? is Mum here?"

"Hello sweetie."

"Ohh wow, how did you get here?"

"We were flown here by a pack of wild Hippogriff's, how'd you think?"

"Father, sarcasm is the lowest form of wit!"

"But effective if used sparingly."

"Touche"

"Well Tumbletot you've dragged us away from work again, but at least this time we have the pleasure of meeting the rather lovely young lady you seem to be caught up with."

"Thanks Dad, appreciate that."

"Bit out of your league isn't she though? she's a beauty."

"George!"

"Just winding him up, he knows it."

"George, he does, but Bill doesn't. Bill take no notice of George, he's a terrible tease, as I hope you will learn."

"By the way old thing, are you bringing Bill down to Curnow with you next month?"

"I haven't had chance to ask her yet Dad."

"Well no time like the present, Bill what are you doing the last two weeks in August, fancy a Cornish Holiday?"

"Well, yes I'd love to come, Issy is that OK?"

"You don't need our permission Hun, you're all growed up now, entirely up to you." Issy smiled and held Geoff's hand.

"Tell you what, bring your sister and her hubby too, we've got the room, you like cold showers Geoff?"

"Oh absolutely, my favourite, alongside warm lemonade and jam sandwiches."

"It means no hanky panky for a week or so, still think you can handle it?"

"George!!"

"Dad!!"

"Hell woman I'm taking the piss again, can't you see that?"

"Dad, quietly please, my head hurts,"

"Ahh and who's fault's that may I ask hmm?"

"OK, it's mine, I admit it, I was stupid, again!"

"Josh,"

"It's OK Bill, I know when I'm beaten."

"Good all settled then, now is there a bloody cafeteria here, I'm gagging for a cup of something?"

"This way Mr Greening, follow me,"

Geoff pointed out the room, taking Issy and George Greening with him. Pamela Greening stood behind Bill and rubbed her hands on her shoulders.

"George is right Bill, you are very pretty, where are you from?"

"Boston, Massachusetts, well a little town called Medford on the north side, we've lived there our whole lives."

"Well you and your sister seem like very nice girls, or should I say young ladies, your parents must be very proud of you, as we are of Josh and his siblings."

"Mother and Father would be very pleased to hear you say that, Mrs Greening, thank you."

"No thank you Bill, for making Josh so happy, despite his being knocked about, I don't think I've seen him this happy in years. By the way, please call us George and Pamela."

"Thanks Mum, I'm actually awake now."

"Hush son, this is girls talk."

"Yes, quiet now, ladies talking."

Later they left Josh as he slept again, and went to the local Italian Restaurant and enjoyed a meal. Issy and Geoff offered to put the Greenings up in their spare bedroom to save them having to find a hotel at short notice. The Greenings were preparing to drive back that night but accepted the offer.

They left after a very enjoyable but mad family breakfast the next morning, and Bill made her way to hospital.

Josh sat in a chair in the day room, dressed and holding a carrier bag. Bill smiled and walked towards him, scrunching down she kissed him lightly.

"Hello darling, how are you this morning?"

"Discharged, all is good, no problems, my scan was clear, my vital signs all normal, I'm free to go, you just need to sign for me at reception and I'm all yours."

"Wow! it's that easy huh?"

"Apparently gorgeous they trust you with me."

"The fools,"

"Quite, now would you please sign for me so I can go home."

"Don't whine!"

"Sorry!"

"No you're not, you're giving me those big puppy eyes, now sit here whilst I sign you out."

"Thanks Mom."

"Don't push it Greening, I might just walk straight out of those doors."

"Love you,"

"OK, wait up."

Five minutes later she came back,

"OK soldier let's go home, Oh! which home?"

"Mine, please."

"OK, lead on McDuff."

"you've been waiting to say that haven't you."

"Yes indeedey,"

"Did I say I love you?"

"Not enough but keep trying."

"I love you, I love you, I love you..."

"Nice."

Josh carried on as they left the ward.

"OK enough, I believe you."

Holding hands they made their way out the main entrance to the taxi rank.

At the College entrance Bill paid the taxi off and they walked up to his rooms. On the board more notes were pinned. As Josh opened the door Bill removed the pins and took the notes down. Pushing the pins back in she entered and noticed the notes, envelope and bottle of milk on the hall table.

"Hey Prof. how long's this milk been here?"

"Oh God, about two days, is it ok?"

"Not by the smell coming from it no."

"Shit, we may have a milk problem then."

"Ok, well I'll have a black coffee if that helps?"

"Yes that would help."

"Oh I've bought all the notes in, here."

"OK, err, right let's see what's here; OK, OK, waste of space, he's failed, nope not interested, juvenile excuse, right done."

He threw the notes in the bin and grinned.

"Best filing cabinet ever,"

"What's in the envelope?"

"Oh it's from Mum, ahh, reminding me to bring a friend to Cornwall! well that's already settled, good, no reply necessary."

He flipped the envelope and note into the bin.

They went back to the lounge and sat in the two saggy raggedy armchairs, with their fifties styling and thin upholstery, Bill felt too low to the floor, her legs were angled upwards and her elbows perched high on the arms.

"These are rubbish chairs, but they came with the rooms so I just use them, I'm not about to buy anything new." He offered by way of explanation.

"Adds to the charm, so refreshingly antiquated, so British, so..."

"Crap?"

"Exactly."

"Sorry Bill, for wasting your last couple of days, I am an idiot sometimes."

"No you're not!"

"Yes I am,"

"Well maybe a little."

"Yeah!"

He rose and moved over to her chair, took her cup and placed it on the floor by the side of the chair.

"You may regret that in a minute,"

"You're right, but not this.."

His lips pressed to hers and she opened her mouth to him. Shuffling closer, he moved between her spreading legs, as she crawled to the edge of the chair. She pulled him onto her and he balanced himself on the edge of the cushion, his arms gathering her in.

With a loud crack, the chair sagged even lower beneath Bill. She started to giggle, they separated, laughing. He placed his hands down and moved back, she lowered her legs and attempted to lift herself out of the chair, which moved slightly and scrunched up the rug, tipping the cup over. He looked down and his laughter increased, causing Bill to laugh louder. Finally she heaved herself out of the chair only to fall forward onto him.

"You hussy, launching yourself at me."

"You wish Buster, unhand me before my Daddy horsewhips you."

"Does your Father have a horse whip?"

"Sure, I suppose, don't all girls fathers get them at birth?"

"I expect so, they always threaten to horsewhip someone don't they?"

"Frankly My Dear I don't give a Damn!"

"Oh! very good, I see what you did there, good call,"

"Why thank you kindly sir."

"OK, Bedroom?"

"You Bet!"

Later they lay together and just enjoyed the pleasure of feeling close to another person, a special person. They lay hands resting on each other, legs entwined. Through the morning they loved and slept. Soon in the dark they slept, peacefully, deeply, totally sure of the other.

The sun rose lazily the next morning and slowly the heat and light reached the bed.

"What time have you got?"

"All my life for you."

"No silly, what does your watch say?"

"Tick, Tock?"

"Idiot, what is the time?"

"Oh! about twelve thirty nine, Oh Shit, fuck, Cock, Pussy, Damn, Bollocks."

"Missed a meeting?"

"Worse! Lecture at one, Head of Faculty there, Dean and honoured guests, finger buffet beforehand, meet the staff, blah, blah, blah, Fuck."

"Tee, Hee, Hee, Oh boy you really did it this time, Josh, why didn't you say?"

"I... I wanted you here, with me, is that so wro..."

The door resounded to a series of crashing bangs,

"For fucks sake Greening get your sorry arse downstairs, the Deans about to go nuclear, there is such a shit storm brewing and you are definitely target number one." shouted a voice from the other side.

"I think you ought to go.. go, go!"

Bill used her arms and legs to push him out of bed, and watched him dressing frantically. She watched with an amused grin as he pulled his clothes on and struggled to wrap his robes on himself, find his cap and disappear. Sighing she rose and walked to his bathroom and set the taps running. A thin stream ran from each. Low pressure she guessed. Oh how she loved this country, warm beer and cold baths. Smiling she stepped slowly into the bath.

Three weeks later Bill was a regular and welcome face around College. She had met and liked his colleagues, the students and staff. The Gatekeeper in particular took a shine to her and couldn't be more helpful, personally escorting her as she found her way around. He offered to be her personal door opener, letting her into the Refectory for High Tea or Lunch. He gave her a detailed tour of the buildings and imparted the ancient rules and regulations of the College.

Soon Bill was on first names with Cedric, something even Masters who had been there for over forty years hadn't achieved. But there was no animosity, her cheery wave and smile melted a million hearts and everyone thought "Lucky Bastard" when they saw her with Josh. He wandered round College with her on his arm grinning like the Cheshire Cat to her Alice.

Sitting in his rooms she held her mobile to her ear hearing the clicks and purrs as she rang her mother. It was early evening here and early morning at home. A voice answered.

"Mother, hello it's me, yes how are you?"

"I'm fine Honey, how are things going?"

They talked for about twenty minutes, after which Mrs Gates seemed to become distracted and Bill heard noises and shouts in the background.

"So Wilhemina how are things in England, have you been meeting any nice Englishmen?"

"Oh Mother it's all so dreamy here and yes I've met a man, he's a Prof, he's really nice."

"Oh Wilhemina are you sure? You know what these feckless English Gentry are like, be careful Honey, he might just be after... you know?"

"Mother what are you on about? he's a Prof not a Toff, wha.."

"He's a what? Honey this line is terrible, so much noise here, did you say he's a Goth?"

"No Mother, he's a Prof. A Professor, he's an Academic, he lectures at the University Issy works for."

"Oh Honey, I'm so sorry, I completely lost that, look why don't your Father and I come over and meet this.. gentleman and see if we approve?"

"Oh God No, Mother do not come over, not yet, please. Look I'll text you everything. I have to go now it's supper time, speak soon bye."

"Honey I didn't get any of that, your Father's here and he's lost his watch, there's so much noise. I have to go, why not text me with the details, I'll speak to you soon Bye..."

The line clicked and the hum of random white noise echoed down the line.

Josh looked over grinning,

"How's Mom?"

"It's Mother, never, ever Mom, please remember that. I think I'll have to text her about us, she got confused."

"Confused how, I heard she thought I was a toff, what else is there?"

"She was distracted by my Dad, she now thinks you're a Goth!"

"Good God, as in an axe swinging Germanic raider, come to rape, plunder and pillage?"

"Don't, I dread to think what she pictures."

"Hmm how about I dress up and we take a picture of me dragging you off to heaven knows what fate?"

"No way, do you want Daddy and the horsewhip."

"Maybe not, just the usual head and shoulders shot, tidy and hair combed then?"