The Dream and the Wall

All of my writing is fiction, and the stories and characters are products of my imagination. They were created for my fun and, hopefully, your enjoyment. Some of the events in the stories are not particularly condoned nor encouraged by the author but are there to create and enhance the story of the imaginary characters and their lives. Comments are always encouraged and carefully reviewed. All characters within the story that need to be are 18 years of age or older. I hope you enjoy! And take a second to vote and comment.

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I hated the evening traffic. I hated the morning traffic too, but at least then, I was well-rested and well-fed. In the evening, I was tired, impatient, full of ugly words to scream at anyone who crossed me...and hungry. And there seemed to be plenty of idiots around, so the air was usually filled with those words. No swearing--I avoided that, but lots of words that weren't very flattering of their actions or intelligence.

There was a reason for my antagonism; I think spurred by equal parts of jealousy and melancholy. Either way, it seemed never-ending and made my journeys to and from work frustrating and exciting. My work as an HR assistant was anything but exciting, but it provided me with an adequate income allowing me to have my own apartment, at least until Colin and I married. He wanted me to move in with him, but I resisted. In a few months, we'd be married, and I knew that both our mothers, while not protesting verbally, would be very disappointed if we did that. It didn't mean we couldn't spend nights at each other's abode on occasion, which I'm sure wasn't a secret from the two ladies; it just wasn't done in public.

Of course, when I finally arrived at the apartment, someone had parked in my spot. Parking spaces weren't actually assigned, but I always parked in the same spot, so I considered it mine. Colin always laughed at me when I complained about walking a few extra steps to my door since I'd be spending an hour at the gym a little later. Still, it was annoying.

It was a cold January day, and that made the extra steps doubly annoying. Snow would have completed the irksome situation, but it wasn't predicted until next week. I wouldn't worry about that until it happened. In the meantime, I had something else to worry about--our wedding. Colin was hoping for June--insisting on June was more like it. I wasn't sure. I knew if I agreed to move in with him, he'd agree to delay the wedding. In fact, I think his only reason for insisting on June was to force me to move in. We seemed to thrive on those types of activities.

But I needed to call Colin.

"Hello, babe. How was your day?"

"How are all my days, Colin? Shuffling papers, answering the phone, drinking coffee. Not a lot of variety. Thank goodness for my desk calendar, or I wouldn't know what day it is."

"We need to talk about you finding something else. I think you're wasting your talent."

"Wouldn't be the first time, you know."

"Bonnie, you had your chance, and it didn't work out."

The look I gave him wasn't exactly a glare but had to be close.

"No money, no sponsor, and competing against thirty men, most of whom had both. It wasn't a chance; it was a gesture. A freaking hollow gesture."

Silence from my phone and a rather blank look on his face, but I could see that he was still there.

"Sorry, Colin. You may be right."

"Maybe, after we're married, we can figure something out."

The marriage thing again. Eventually, everything went to that. If we were married, we'd save lots of money. A single rent, one cable subscription, multi-car discount on auto insurance, and only one set of utility charges would save us lots. Colin's salary as a high school math teacher, along with his football and track coaching, would keep us comfortably, if not extravagantly. My salary, added to his, would provide added comfort for our life together.

"I know. You still hoping for June?"

"I'd love that, Bon if we can work it out. I did some checking on places for the reception."

I felt my muscles tense. He was going to make this happen, no matter what. How much should I resist?

Naturally curious, I replied, "And what did you find?"

"We need to figure out how many will be at the reception, so we'll know what size hall to reserve. And, they're filling up fast, so it's important to get the reservations made early."

"Sounds like you're on top of things, Colin."

"Bonnie, this is about us, not just me. We need to do this together."

"I know, hon. We will."

I did know, at least intellectually, I did. It was just that when it was time actually to do it, I drew back and made excuses. It often angered me when I did it, but it didn't stop it from happening. There was something nagging at me, and I hoped it would disappear. I knew I was a bit of a pain to Colin with my seeming reluctance to complete the wedding details or even to agree on a date. I did love him and thought maybe I could help him feel a little better.

"You had dinner yet?" I asked, changing the subject.

"No. Not sure what I want, either."

"How about if I stop and get some Chinese and bring it over? We can have, well, you know, a pleasant evening." I ended that with a silly giggle which I knew he'd understand.

"Whoa, that sounds perfect. What Chinese are you thinking of?"

"Something simple, I guess. How about shrimp chow mein?"

"I could handle that...and you as well when you get here."

I always did enjoy Colin's "handling." He knew exactly what I liked and how I liked it, and I'm not talking about shrimp chow mein. We'd eat that, and then he'd eat... My body was heating up just thinking about it. And if we were married, it could happen more often. Or maybe it was so good because it didn't happen that often.

"You still there?" an expectant voice asked.

"Yeah. All that talk got me thinking," and I'd allowed the phone to move so Colin couldn't see my face any longer."

A loud belly laugh echoed over the phone. "Better hurry then. Too much thinking, and we'll never get to the chow mein."

"Shuddup, smart ass." That was about the extent of my profanity, if it could be considered profanity. "I'll be there in a few, and it's your turn to think now."

I hung up and ran to the bedroom to quickly change my clothes. I took off more than I put back on, which I usually did when I went to Colin's for an evening "quickie." Sleepovers (haha) were saved for weekends mostly. It was much less complicated that way.

At least going to Colin's was mostly secondary and side streets, so I didn't have to encounter the idiots that I did on the way home from work. The Jong Mei was only a block out of the way so that simplified things as well.

The takeout was ready when I got there, and Colin was ready when I got to his place as well. We did get the food partly eaten before heading to his bedroom for an hour of ecstatic and erotic sexual pleasure. He certainly knew where my buttons were and how to push them...over and over. When I left, I could barely walk and had agreed to some serious wedding discussions the next weekend. I might need to do some planning.

I was home at ten when my phone rang. A number I didn't recognize, but I answered.

"Hello."

"Is this Bonnie Heskett?"

"Yes, who's this?"

"A name I hope you remember. Pete Clark."

In an instant, my mind went back about eight years. Pete Clark. Pete owned two late-model stock cars that dad and I raced against. My dad, Zane Heskett, had raced when he was young but then had just provided the car that I drove on weekends at local tracks, happy to be my mechanic and mentor. I was competitive, but when he had the sudden heart attack and died, my racing career ended prematurely. At the time, there was no one who had a car and was looking for a driver, and without dad, I had no money to provide one for myself.

Pete Clark had the two cars, one of which he drove himself and one that he prepared for his best friend to drive. Somehow Pete had stumbled onto some money, and before long, he owned an Indy car that was very competitive. A couple more years, and he was responsible for three Indy cars, and I'd seen speculation that he had a fourth.

Those eight years ago, I'd desperately wanted a ride in Pete's late-model extra, but I lost out. He'd kept me around for a while, supposedly grooming me for that second car. But I found out his good friend was providing a good bit of cash for his ride, so I just gradually disappeared from the scene.

Now I had a call from Pete Clark.

"Of course I do, Pete. How could I forget all those good times?"

"I'm sure some of them were better than others, but I've never forgotten about you. You could drive, that's for sure. Things just didn't work out then. But, maybe they'll work out now."

Work out now? What did that mean? I could almost see the subtle smile on Pete's face, a smile I'd seen so many times before.

"What does that mean, Pete?"

"You still following racing?"

"As much as I can."

"Well, I've got this fourth car and a new sponsor for it, and I need a driver."

My heart skipped at least two beats, maybe three. I hoped I could talk.

"Go on."

"The sponsor is The Hidden Closet, and they want a lot of publicity for their money...and, are you ready for this?"

"I hope I am."

"They want a good-looking female who can drive. Do you know anyone who fits that picture?"

"Pete, stop tormenting me. Are you thinking of me as that driver?"

"I bet you're still good-looking, and I'm sure you're female, so driving is the only question. You used to be able to drive, but this is open-wheel shit and a little different. You think you can do it?"

"It's been a while, but I can drive. You know I can drive."

"We've got a track down here, rented and ready for you to show us what you've got. Can you be here tomorrow?"

Tomorrow? I have a job, and they're expecting me to be there tomorrow?

"Listen," Pete said, interrupting my thoughts. "We'll be fair about this. We'll guarantee you a year's salary plus twenty percent of what you're making now. If you work out, we'll negotiate a good driving contract for you. Plus, the sponsor wants lots of publicity--pretty driver by the car with their name all over it. Other posing as well to keep you in the public eye...and them too, of course. They will pay extra for you to model clothes for their catalog, etc., so you'd be making some nice money."

And driving an Indy car.

"This is all true, Pete? You're not teasing?"

"I'm way too busy to tease, Bonnie. I'm serious about it all. I think you can do it, or I wouldn't have bothered to call."

"It'll be a mess for me to get it all together, but I'll do it."

"Fantastic. I'll have a ticket at the airport tomorrow morning, and I'll meet you when you get here. I've thought about you a lot these years, wishing you could be driving because I know you love it. Now you're getting a big chance."

"Pete, I don't know how I can thank you."

"Be here, be beautiful, and drive like hell. That's all I need."

"I'll do it."

After pacing back and forth across my living room for ten minutes, working to organize in my mind all the things that had to be done, I called Colin.

"Hey, babe, what's up? You want to come over for a little more?" He chuckled.

"Colin, you won't believe what just happened. I got a call from Pete Clark, and he wants me to be the driver for his fourth car, an Indy car. And I'll be driving all the races in the series."

"Slow down, Bonnie. I know you used to drive and loved it, but driving an Indy car? That can't be true."

"It is true, and I"m flying to Texas tomorrow morning to get started with some test driving."

"Tomorrow? What about your job and the weekend and things?

"I'm going to take a leave of absence, and when I do this, we'll have plenty of money. I'll be getting a big driver's salary. Probably more than $250,000. If I win, gobs more."

"But, Bon, you're going to Texas? For how long?"

"Not sure. I'll call you tomorrow and give you all the details I have. I need to get packing and close up the apartment. You still have a key, right?"

"Yeah."

"So you can pop over once in a while and see if everything's okay."

"But you're just walking away from your job?"

"They've guaranteed me a year's salary plus twenty percent, so I'll be okay there. If somehow it doesn't work out, I'll be back here with the extra money."

"This is all so...I don't even get to say goodbye in person?"

"Crap, I don't even know when my flight leaves tomorrow. When I find out, I'll let you know, and you can meet me at the airport."

"Love you, Bon. This is all so sudden, you know."

"I know, but it was a dream of mine to drive. But never to drive Indy cars. This is a bunch of steps up from where I was."

My phone buzzed.

"Hang on, Colin. I just got a text message."

My plane was leaving at 9:23 a.m. I relayed that to Colin, and we said goodbye. I had packing and other stuff to take care of. But so much was still unknown. A lonely thought lingered in the back of my mind that I might be making a huge mistake, but I dismissed it. Dreams aren't fulfilled that often, and I didn't want to miss this one.

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I was at the airport two hours early, as recommended, which was at least an hour earlier than I needed to be there. But Colin was there too, and that helped me deal with the incredible excitement I was feeling. I was still grounded enough to realize that Colin's feelings were probably the opposite of mine. We sat together over coffee and two fairly tasty sweet rolls, with me trying to explain what was happening to a very confused fiance in way too brief a time.

"I never realized this was such a passion with you, Bonnie."

"It was when I was nineteen, but circumstances pushed it aside, and time dimmed it quite a bit. But it was still there, buried by what was currently happening in my life. When I heard Pete's voice, it brought it all back."

"How long is this going to last? I mean, I'm kind of left behind here."

He was right, of course. I was heading toward new and exciting experiences while Colin was staying behind...and missing me, I was sure. I wasn't positive that I could assure him of anything. But I was anxious for him to share in my excitement. Maybe that was asking too much, given the timing and all, but I hoped that, once I was in Texas, I could get him there too so he could see the car and watch me drive.

"I'm not sure, babe, but I'll figure out a way for us to get together. The Hidden Closet people want me to pose for their catalogs as well, and that will be extra."

"But that won't happen next week, Bon. That's somewhere in the future. Plus, I've been looking forward to June."

That one hurt a little, and I grabbed hold of both of his hands.

"That's a long way off yet, Colin. Let's just hang on and see what happens." Kind of a hollow attempt at assurance, but I was winging it here and had no solid idea of what the future might hold. I knew what I wanted, but there were no guarantees.

"Okay, Bonnie, I'll just trust you on this."

His rather tense smile tugged at my heart. As I considered it, I wasn't sure that anything that happened in Texas would be what he really wanted. Maybe, as things happened, they might bend his thinking a little. It was probably my best hope.

"We'll make it work,"

Since I still needed to go through security, we hugged, kissed, and said our, "see you laters." It was difficult to walk away from him, and the look on his face made it doubly tough. I ran back.

"I'll get pictures, and other racing stuff, even some of the math the engineers use, and I'll send it to you for your classes."

"That would be cool," he admitted. " I'll look forward to getting it."

Another hug and kiss, and I hurried away. Missing my plane would be a disaster.

The flight was boring, except for the thoughts filling my head. I replayed every race that I had driven--at least the ones I could still recall. I tried to remember the intricacies of my driving and wondered if it would translate to an Indy car. I hoped.

Pete met me as promised and looked much as he did the last time I'd seen him. He ushered me to his shiny new Cadillac.

"We use Chevrolet engines, so I have to stick with GM stuff. We have a car for you while you're here, too."

While you're here? What did that mean? I was sure I'd find out...and hoped that it was good.

"I didn't even ask about where I'd be living."

"The Hidden Closet has taken care of that. You have a very nice furnished apartment they're providing for you. Good photo-op place, I'm sure."

"Is it all about photo-ops, Pete?" I asked with a chuckle.

"It's up to me to provide the best equipment and to make you a winner...or at least a contender."

"There's a lot of money involved here, isn't there?"

"Lots, Bonnie. Lots. And this is a new excursion for The Hidden Closet. With you driving and wearing their clothes, they hope to reach a whole new group of buyers. They want to produce a calendar too. Hope you don't mind posing for the world in a bikini.

I'd worn a bikini since I was in high school and knew I looked good in one. Was I ready to pose for the world? I guess I'd find out.

"The garage is on the way to your apartment, so we'll stop there first and let you meet the crew and the car. It's ready for you to take it out and see how it runs. I'm sure you know it's not like driving late models."

"I've always just wanted to drive, and Indy cars need driven, even If I'd never really thought about it before. I feel sure I can do it." That was at least partially true. I was a driver and had the instincts, so it was just getting familiar with the car.

"That's a good start, Bonnie. How many times did you hit the wall in late models? "

I didn't like that question because it involved mistakes--mine or someone else's.

"Twice, I think."

"Injuries?"

"A couple of red marks from the belts."

"I'd suggest you not hit the wall here. Many thousands of dollars and much more than a few red marks."

I think it was good that he reminded me because I hadn't thought about the dangers. On the right night, I had been over one hundred miles per hour in the late models. Here, I'd be over two hundred, and hitting the wall was not an option. I'd have to remember that.

Pete pulled into the parking lot of a large but plain-looking building.

"Come on in and meet your crew and take a look at the car."

The crew was waiting for me, six of them, plus the crew chief. He looked like he might be in his forties, while the others had to be in their twenties or maybe their early thirties at the most. I was introduced to Flint Colombo, the crew chief, and the other crew members whose names I'd learn eventually.

Then there was the car.

"Your dad always said if it's a racecar, it should be red."

"Pete, it's beautiful."

"It is, and I hope it'll go fast."

"It's all ready, isn't it, Flint?"

"As ready as we can get it without having it on the track. The lady should be able to tell us about that soon."

The lady, whose experience with these cars had been watching them on TV, is going to tell them how fast it is. That was me.

"When's that going to happen, Pete?"

"We'll spend the rest of the day fitting the car around you, getting a suit that fits you, and a helmet. Tomorrow you can get the feel of the car with a few laps at the track. And I think Gerhardt Schneider from The Hidden Closet will be here to meet you. Just a note; he's a PR guy and doesn't know much about racing."

I heard several titters from the crew, which piqued my curiosity. Tomorrow was already sounding like an exciting day.

I spent the rest of the day being checked, poked, measured, and squeezed into a car that was smaller and tighter than I'd imagined. I'd expected to have a seat custom molded to fit my body, but mostly my butt. Instead, it was a bag of Styrofoam pellets that I squirmed into and was very comfortable.