The Engagement Meeting

Tim wondered who had to sleep with whom to make that happen in DC.

"Oh, TJ, I thought with your PhD that you were going to teach."

TJ started to reply, "I was..." then Audrey cut him off. "This new job rewards him more for his talents. Now he doesn't have to worry about those tenure battles."

Tim asked, "Audrey, are you still lobbying?"

"That word has such a bad connotation that we prefer legislative consultant."

"Oh. So is that what you are doing?"

"Yep. Putting my law degree to good use helping to make more laws."

Tim snipped, "And hopefully better laws."

"Well, uhm, yes. That too."

"TJ, once you got your degree in Mechanical Engineering, I always thought eventually you would come back here and partner up with your dad. Together you could do some really interesting construction. Now, with your PhD, you could work with your dad and still be an adjunct professor."

TJ and Donald looked at each other. They had shared a similar discussion but didn't want to get into that now. Audrey was staring daggers at Tim. She said, "We may come back to Pittsburgh one day, but for now, we're staying in DC where the opportunities are located."

Joyce looked sad when she heard that statement.

Donald and Joyce were getting a much clearer picture than they had expected. Audrey had led them all to believe that hers and Tim's relationship was distant and strained because of the divorce. It was clear from the conversation in which they had been participating, that the relationship was nearly non-existent. They thought that odd, since when Tim lived there he always seemed so close to his daughter...or so they had seen."

Audrey declared, "Come on TJ, let's get out of our parents' hair and give them time to make plans for the wedding."

Tim said, "Honey, you don't have to go. It's been a while since we've seen each other. I wish you would stay."

"Don't worry. We'll have plenty of time, Tim...I mean, Daddy."

The whole scene was soul crushing to Tim. Too many years of his life appeared to have been wasted.

He shook TJ's hand and hugged his daughter for a long time. "I've missed you, Sweet Pea. I'll always love you."

"Oh, Daddy. You are too sentimental. I love you, too."

Tim took a quick picture of them, and they left. After the young couple was gone, Tim was still standing; his eyes watering. He asked, "Do you mind if I walk outside a moment, to compose myself. I apologize."

Donald led Tim out the doors to the formal garden, where Tim calmed himself and prepared for the next discussion.

Upon returning, Joyce said, "It must have been hard for you all those years. We understood that your relationship with your daughter was difficult, but we didn't know it was so estranged."

Tim said, "I'm not surprised by that. The reason you didn't know was because you were deliberately led to believe it was something different. I promise you that neither she nor her mother wanted this engagement meeting with me."

They were not surprised about Yasmine feeling that way but couldn't believe that Audrey felt the same. "Oh. Why do you say that?"

"Because things are much worse than you know. I'm fairly certain what you just saw was the last time that I will ever see my daughter. Without my family in Nashville to return to, I think I would have died just then. That was almost fatal."

Donald asked, "Why would you say such a thing?"

"Because she will never forgive me for what I'm about to do. ...If this were one-hundred years ago, I'm fairly certain that I could simply state my concerns and stop this marriage. Today, all I can do is voice my displeasure, but I will tell you, unreservedly, that I don't want your son to marry my daughter."

The parents were stunned. They had their own reservations but couldn't believe Tim would say that.

"Why wouldn't you want Tim to marry Audrey."

"I'm sorry. I'm still emotional. That came out wrong. I cannot think of a single man on this Earth that could make Audrey happier than TJ."

Joyce started to interrupt, "But..."

Tim held up his hand and continued, "However, after this meeting tonight, I have no doubt that if TJ marries, Audrey, he will very shortly be terribly, terribly unhappy; even miserable."

Joyce said, "We know that Audrey is a strong-willed woman, but don't you think that she will change once she gets married?"

"No. If I thought for a moment that there was even a chance that they could be happy together, I would be ecstatic. I would support and encourage that chance if there were one. However, I wouldn't give them a snowball's chance. It pains me to say it, but she's too much like her mother, who is a confirmed narcissist.

Joyce and Donald were still bewildered by Tim's statement.

He continued, "If you would do me a favor. Will you record the rest of this conversation? I'd like for TJ to hear it at some point in time soon. I'm not sure he would believe you otherwise.

"Let me ask you a question. Has he mentioned anything about cancelling plans with you or friends because Audrey found some reason that they needed to do something else?"

"Well, yes, but..."

"Have they had an argument or fight, yet? And did she punish him by not speaking to him for several days, or longer until he apologized more than once?"

They both looked at each other.

"This is just the beginning. She's isolating him; cutting him away from the herd. He'll be easier to control that way. I'm not sure if she even realizes she's doing this, but she's just like her mother. There is an old saying - nature vs nurture. I used to believe that nurture would always win out, but sometimes I think things are just hard wired into people. Chemistry."

Joyce asked, "That's pretty harsh. You don't think she can change?"

"I'm afraid she has already changed. I loved and supported her for seventeen years. I did all the things that a dad is supposed to do and then some; the nightly bedtime stories, help with homework, dance practice and recitals, chauffeuring to summer day camps. I was happy to do it and thought that we had built a great relationship over the years. I nurtured her all those years.

"I would have divorced Yasmine years earlier, except I knew that I would see Audrey even less if that happened. So, I stuck it out until I thought she was old enough to appreciate what I had done, and that our love for each other was enough for her to have a relationship with me and her mother. Even though Yasmine's attorney was pushing for her to get full custody, the choice was up to Audrey. When it was time for Audrey to choose who to live with, she chose her mother.

"The indifference and belittling that her mother did to me over the years was excruciating. I always tried to push back, gently, and focus on building, or rebuilding, our relationship, for our family. Ultimately, my opinion no longer mattered. It's hard to have a partnership when you don't value the other partner, which was a result of her narcissism. That will eventually happen with Audrey and TJ.

"I want to prevent that outcome, for him. If this marriage happens, he will become miserable. Eventually, everyone in his family will be worried sick about him all the time. Any children would grow up in that tense environment. You would see very little of him and your grandchildren. He's too good of a man for me to let that happen on the miniscule chance that she might someday see the light and change. "

They couldn't believe what they just heard. They had seen bits and pieces of this over the months, but the picture Tim painted was beyond what TJ had relayed to them, and it frightened them.

Donald asked, "If I heard you correctly, then you just sacrificed your relationship with your daughter so that our son could avoid a mistake and be happy?"

"Donald, there is no relationship with my daughter. I wish there were. Tonight was the first time that she has called me 'Daddy' in twelve years. It's the first time we've spoken in six."

They were both shocked at that.

Tim pulled an old envelope from his blazer and placed it on the table. They could see that it was from Audrey to Tim.

"Approaching her graduation from college, I called her and told her I would like to see her. I gave her a month's notice and told her that I would like for us to meet for a few minutes after the ceremony and then more if she had time that weekend. I showed up, but she never contacted me. Inside that envelope is the letter she sent me afterwards.

"I'll leave this for you to read later, but to summarize, she addressed me as Tim, not Daddy, and requested that I no longer try to see her. She appreciated my help in raising her, but she no longer needed my help and hadn't for some time. She wished me well and basically said goodbye.

"I was devastated. It took Mariana months to help me overcome the hurt that letter caused. I continued to send her cards and gifts at all the major holidays and on her birthday, but I never heard from her. I even had to hire someone to find her new addresses when she would move, but I continued to write. I'm her dad and love her. I had to keep trying."

"When she was in her early teens, we used to joke, together, that she was 95% her mother and 5% me. She had her mother's looks and brains, and the only pieces of me she received were my eyes and heart. Well, we know that isn't true any longer.

As they sat, the silence began to fill the room.

Tim spoke, "This was supposed to be a happy occasion, so I apologize for my actions. I hope you see why it was important for me to come. I wish your family well, and I'll show myself out."

When he stood to leave, the stunned parents followed him to the front door. Before he could open it, Joyce said, "Tim..."

He paused for a moment, still facing the door. He had become emotional again and hated for them to see that. He stood there, reaching for the door handle waiting to hear what Joyce was about to say, but she didn't say anything.

He felt her hand on his arm, and she turned him back towards her, where she proceeded to wrap her arms around him for a hug. It was probably less proper than what decorum should allow, but she couldn't not show this man how much she appreciated his sacrifice for her son. Her heart went out to him. Tim could barely keep his emotions in check. He needed to get out of there.

He released Joyce and shook Donald's hand. As he opened the door, Donald said, "If you ever need anything Tim, we'll be there."

"Thank you. Please forgive me for the hurt that I've caused." What he needed was to get away from there and catch the next flight to get home to his family as soon as possible.

______________

Tim never heard from Audrey again. All future cards and gifts were unopened and marked "Return to Sender". Unbeknownst to Tim, though he suspected it would happen, Audrey and Yasmine eventually ostracized each other. Their own narcissism eventually shutting the other out of their lives. Neither of them would ever be truly happy.

It was months later when one day there was a knock on Tim's front door. Mariana answered it to see TJ standing there.

"TJ! Come in, come in."

"Hi, Mrs. Cunningham. It's nice to meet you. I apologize for showing up unexpectedly, but is Tim home? Could I see him for a moment?"

"Nonsense. You are always welcome. He's in his office. Why don't you have a seat on the patio, and I'll get him."

When Tim met TJ on the patio, he proceeded to tell Tim about the aftermath of that meeting.

After Audrey returned home from that evening, his parent's let him hear the recording from that night and showed TJ the letter. TJ never confronted Audrey directly, but distanced himself from her until they postponed the wedding indefinitely and then ended the engagement. In their final meeting, TJ and Audrey discussed her relationship, or lack thereof, with her father. TJ couldn't believe she could ostracize him that way. He couldn't marry someone that would treat her own father with such disdain (like her mother did).

TJ told Tim that he was currently in the process of moving back to Pittsburgh. It seemed that he and his father had a discussion very similar to what Tim had suggested months before the engagement meeting. The breakup with Audrey allowed for him to return. TJ spent the night so he could meet Loren and Philip. Sofia even came by for a while. The evening was full of mixed emotions but was generally happy.

What that afternoon and evening did accomplish was to cement Tim into TJ's life after that as an unofficial uncle. Tim and his family were happy to at least be on the periphery of TJ's life after that.

_________________

Still, two years later, an invitation to TJ and Beth's wedding was unexpected. After the engagement meeting, he thought any relationship with Donald and Joyce would be too awkward due to the pain than Tim inflicted onto everyone. However, that didn't seem to be the case.

Beth and Joyce made a point of dancing with Tim and thanked him for protecting TJ. Mariana looked beautiful in one of her flamenco dresses and spent a great deal of time dancing with everyone. Donald and Tim had a nice chat and it sounded like TJ was doing well back in Pittsburgh. He and Joyce hoped that a grandchild announcement would be imminent.

Tim and his family stayed in Pittsburgh for several days that weekend, while he showed everyone the sites and attractions that Pittsburgh had to offer, which he had enjoyed for nearly two decades when he lived there.

TJ and Beth did honeymoon in Barcelona and Mariana's mother was overjoyed when they came by to visit her hotel and city for a few days.

Upon their return to Nashville, Tim was a little melancholy about the loss of his first daughter, but he felt truly fortunate to have his current family. He and Bobby would eventually help the scouting troops in their part of the outer Nashville area and even held several campouts on their properties over the years. Philp eventually became an Eagle Scout and 'Uncle' TJ and 'Aunt' Beth and family showed up at his Eagle Scout ceremony. Mariana and he raised their kids well and in return they enjoyed several grandchildren and a good long life together. It was a better outcome than Tim felt he truly deserved, but he was especially pleased that, this time, his efforts at taking care of his family had been rewarded.