The Hacker

"Ah, honey," I said to Natalie, "what you saw... I didn't mean for that to happen." I wasn't sure what to say. I had already lied to her. I meant it to happen. I know I did.

"Dad would like him," Natalie responded softly as she sat back down on the couch. She was right, he was Tom's type of friend. I think my daughter was giving me permission. I smiled at her. After all she went through today, she was thinking of me. She grabbed the remote to finish the movie as I moved toward the couch. We both knew the whole movie by heart, it was a comfort food for the soul. I sat down, my daughter still looking at the remote. She looked up to me.

"He has lawyers, Mom," Natalie observed, "very good ones. I think you do know someone with a lot of money." My head snapped back to the door, like I expected Jared to still be there. The loss of control swamped me again. "Who is he?" Natalie asked, as she set the remote back on the table, the movie still paused.

==========

Natalie and I searched the Internet, googling Jared Thompson. The number of links was staggering. I was expecting to wade through hundreds of useless links to find something remotely connected. I was wrong. My mouth opened as his picture appeared, suited up like a banker. It was an article in Forbes from five years ago, titled "Another Billionaire Born."

Jared had founded a very successful Internet security firm. I glossed over the technical aspects and concentrated on the meat. It was a rags-to-riches story. He came from modest roots, working his way through college doing odd jobs. There were a few landscaping jobs listed which seemed to still suit him. He graduated at the top of his class and embarked on entrepreneurial success. He had sold the firm, thus his wealth. Another article speculated the company would collapse without him. Other articles mentioned the sale was forced, something about an accident. I googled again, adding the term accident.

"Oh, God!" Natalie commented. A picture of an SUV, crushed to half its size from the passenger side, was at the top of an article from a Seattle newspaper. The article talked more about the dangerous intersection than the occupants. Reading deeper, it mentioned that Jared was hospitalized and his wife was declared dead at the scene. I covered my mouth and tried not cry.

The next link had the same picture. It said Jared was in intensive care and not expected to survive. The dates on the accident articles were about a year prior to the sale of his company. After the sale of the company, there was nothing about Jared. We did find an obituary about his wife, Cynthia. She was buried in Seattle. There was no mention of children, only parents and a sister.

We tried to find additional information, but only retrieved more of the same. There were some early articles about the growth of his firm. Nothing seemed to exist after the sale of the company. At least, nothing Internet-worthy.

"Why would he give us money?" Natalie asked.

"We don't know that he did," I replied. Natalie gave me her are-you-stupid look. The look all kids perfect freshman year. "Well, we don't," I reiterated. Even I knew it was a weak argument. Jared became, in my mind, a little scary. Something didn't add up. Why would a billionaire buy the house next to mine? Why would he suddenly pay off my debts before we had even said hello to each other? He defended my daughter with all he had. According to Natalie, he almost killed Dan. Now I kissed him and he enjoyed it. I liked it and it terrified me.

==========

I kept Natalie home from school and I called in sick. I barely slept, my mind reeling from a guilty kiss I couldn't forget. Natalie had passed out on the couch after midnight, in the middle of a movie neither of us was watching. I covered her with a blanket and watched her sleep. Dan would have ruined her. I knew that in my heart. No matter what Jared's motives were, he had saved my baby. I owed him everything for that. If he had truly paid off my debts, I owed him for that. I had nothing to pay him back with. That kiss. Why did I do that? I knew if Natalie wasn't in the house, I would have gone farther. I shook my head. The thoughts didn't go away. 'Slower next time?' he asked me. Tom, please forgive me.

I made a big breakfast that morning. Something I rarely did. Usually we survived on cereal or a toaster pastry. I needed to feel more like a mother. I hadn't been there when Natalie needed me, but I could be here now. I broke out the waffle maker; it hadn't seen the light of day for a couple of years. The smell that filled the kitchen was warming, very homey. It brought Natalie from the couch.

"I'm late," Natalie said, moving slowly.

"You're staying home today," I said, "I already called it in." Natalie smiled, her hair was all bunched up from the couch. This was family, albeit a small one, but family nonetheless. I couldn't help but smile back. Waffles was a really good idea.

"That smells good." Natalie was practically drooling. I put a waffle, the second one I made, on her plate. The first one was a little deformed, so I kept it for myself. Butter, syrup and some orange juice. I felt more motherly.

"You like him," Natalie said with no context, after we finished eating. The context was understood. It was on both our minds. She was too old.

"It scares me," I said honestly, not admitting Natalie's statement was true and not denying it. I began putting the dishes in the sink, allowing me not to look at her. A mother shouldn't discuss such things with her daughter.

"Daddy wouldn't want you to be alone," Natalie said quietly. I stared at the sink. I tried to stop it, but couldn't. Tears came. Tom, forgive me. Natalie hugged me from behind. She was more motherly than I. I turned to her.

"It wouldn't mean I didn't love your father," I stumbled with the words.

"I know."

"No one could replace him," I argued.

"I know."

"I really like Jared, as weird as all this is." I had cemented my feelings. "I think he likes me. I didn't think anyone would like me again." I admitted it, out loud. He made me feel desirable. I liked that feeling. I needed that feeling again.

"I'm okay with it, Mom," Natalie said, giving me permission I didn't need, but sorely desired. "He's rich and not bad looking for an old guy." I saw the hint of a smile on her face as she said it.

"You calling your mother old?" I said, a grin fighting away my tears. Natalie gave me a big smile. She knew she had changed my mood.

==========

I caught Jared on his way out to his ten o'clock meeting. I had waited, like a schoolgirl, at the front window. I loved how he smiled when I waved down his car. He pulled into my driveway and rolled down the window. His eye had blackened, but the swelling had decreased. I really liked how he looked at me.

"If you need us, let me know," I offered, "or, we can go with you if you want." Jared looked so handsome in his suit. He ignored my offer.

"Can I take you and Natalie out to dinner tonight?" Jared asked. My insides were jumping up and down. I tried to not let it go to my face. I wasn't sure I succeeded.

"That would be lovely," I answered, the words formed smoothly. Maybe I hid my desires.

"Casual, about sixish?" Jared added.

"Perfect," I said, a little louder than I intended. I reigned in my glee. I composed myself to better represent my age.

"Linda?" Jared asked with his desirable smile.

"Yes, Jared."

"I'm excited too," Jared said as he backed the car out of the driveway. I found myself bouncing on my toes. I waved like an idiot and didn't care. I was no older than Natalie at that moment. It felt really good. I was a desirable woman with the heart of girl. I was going to have that boy.

"He's taking us out for dinner tonight," I told Natalie when I returned from the driveway.

"Us? Why not just you?"

"Because he is a nice guy," I surmised. "Because you need a night out after yesterday. Because he knows you are important to me." I smiled after putting all those thoughts in her head. I left out, 'because we need your permission' and he knows it. "It's just casual, so whatever you want to wear." I headed off to my closet. I only had about nine hours to find something to wear. Maybe I should go shopping.

==========

I wondered if my skirt was too short. It looked fine in front of the mirror. Now, sitting in the car, it hiked up farther than I had anticipated. A good four of five inches above the knee. I tried to ignore it; it was too late now. Natalie was in the backseat of the car, designer jeans and some kind of white frilly pullover I didn't know she owned. It was cute and fit her age. Jared went with an olive green polo tucked into pleated khakis. He hadn't stopped smiling since we got in the car.

"Played hooky today, Natalie?"

"Yeah, Mom thought it was a good idea. Let the rumors quiet down before I return to school." Jared was nodding his head in agreement.

"How did your meeting go this morning?" I asked. Jared looked over from the road. His eyes fell to my knees, then snapped up to my eyes. My skirt was too short.

"I think we all agreed that pursuing assault charges was heavy-handed," Jared smiled. "Dan is conscious and decided it may not be wise. Turns out he turned eighteen a couple of months ago." Jared glanced back at Natalie. "He insists he wasn't planning what you thought he was."

"He lets you off the hook, if I let him off?" Natalie asked. She put the pieces together faster than I did.

"Don't worry about me," Jared said, "if you want to drag him through the mud, do it. He deserves that much, and more." Natalie didn't respond. I looked back to see her aimlessly looking out the window, thinking. Jared didn't push it any farther.

I straightened my skirt and tried to make it longer when I stepped out of the car at the restaurant. Jared was coming around the vehicle, so I could easily hide my efforts. Natalie noticed, her eyes signaling she thought it was funny. It wasn't funny. My skirt was too short.

Natalie moved ahead, leading the way to the entrance. Jared carefully put his arm around my waist. He leaned to my ear. "You have lovely legs," he whispered. Blood rushed to my face as I looked at his smile. He meant it. My skirt was just right. I pulled his hand farther around me and leaned into him.

"Thank you," I returned quietly. Natalie was grinning at me as she held the door open for us. I wanted to wipe the grin off her face. It was embarrassing and wonderful.

Jared spent most of the dinner finding out about Natalie. It wasn't a feigned interest. He seemed to enjoy hearing about her volleyball team and her memories of camping with her father. The Girl Scouts and why she gave up on them in high school. What she was planning after high school. It turns out Natalie had dreams she hadn't yet confided in me. Jared just seemed to draw them out of her. If it wasn't my daughter, I would have been jealous of the attention he was giving her.

"Can I ask you a question?" Natalie queried Jared as we neared the end of the meal. I saw where she was going. I wasn't ready to go there. I gave her a look she ignored.

"You can ask anything," Jared said. I felt his hand find mine under the table. He was holding me there. Maybe he thought I would run.

"Why did you pay off our mortgage?" Natalie came right out with it. She didn't even ask if he had.

"Honey, let's not get into..." I started. I felt Jared squeeze my hand. It was an it's-okay squeeze. He knew it had been coming.

"I don't have a good answer for you," Jared was speaking to me. I squeezed his hand back. He looked back at Natalie, "I saw your mother going out to the mailbox and returning like she was holding a hand full of the black plague. I talked with some neighbors and found out about your father." He paused for a moment. "I was born poor. My parents knew debt well. I know how it can eat at you. I did it because I could. It made me feel good."

"We looked you up on the Internet. Why would you move into our neighborhood?" Natalie continued her interrogation.

"Natalie!" I chastised. One brutal question a night. That was only proper. I can't believe she told him we were researching him. Jared squeezed my hand again and smiled.

"She's right, you know," Jared said to me, "I do come off as a little strange." His face went solemn and answered. "I assume you read about the accident. Cynthia, my wife, died. She was my direction. The sole reason I went as far in life and business as I did. When I got out of the hospital, none of it held meaning anymore. I never needed the fine houses and cars. We had always planned a family and never seemed to find the time. My one regret." He looked up at the ceiling, covered in antique signs and memorabilia, "I wanted to get away from it. A more grounded life." I pulled his hand deeper into my lap. "I found myself in your neighborhood." He smiled at me. Why wasn't I speaking? Because I had lovely legs, because I felt desired. My words might damage everything.

"How did you find out how much I owed?" I asked his eyes. Fear wrapped the question. I desperately didn't want him to think I was ungrateful. I just didn't want to completely lose myself. At least not yet.

"I broke the law," Jared responded. "One of my friends used my old company to run a credit check on you. I'm sorry for the invasion. It... it didn't seem as bad then as it sounds now." I lifted his hand up to my lips and kissed the back of his hand. I liked the truth. I liked how his lips formed it.

"I think you're forgiven," Natalie smiled.

We ended up ordering three different deserts and passing them around the table. I was going to skip them, but Jared and Natalie insisted on sugar. It was rather fun to take a bite of triple chocolate cake, followed by a spoonful of raspberry sorbet and then pucker up for key lime pie. Wonderfully sinful.

"I decided." Natalie said, after she licked her spoon clean, "I don't want the thing with Dan to go any farther. His trip to the hospital was enough punishment."

"Are you sure?" I asked. I could pursue it as her mother. Dan was still breathing, so I wasn't completely satisfied yet.

"Yeah," Natalie continued, "dragging it out would just hurt everyone. I would be happy to never see him again."

"You will see each other in school," Jared said, "it may be difficult."

"I can deal with it," Natalie smiled, "I'll just say we broke up and aren't speaking to each other. It's easy enough, since I never want to talk to him again." Jared and Natalie looked over to me.

"If that's what you want," I said, reluctantly, "but if he comes near you again, or makes up stories, I am going to change my mind."

"My lawyers can arrange it," Jared added, "we will let it drop if Dan keeps his distance with no disparaging remarks." Natalie nodded.

"Okay," I conceded. It was probably best if we put it in the rear view mirror. At most, Dan would have only been slapped on the wrist since Jared had ended it before it got too far.

==========

"What did he say to you in the parking lot?" Natalie asked, once we were back home.

"Nothing," I said, trying to remember if he said anything when we left the restaurant.

"He said something," Natalie laughed, "you were all nervous in the car, then suddenly you were glued to his side with a silly smile." She meant when we first got to the restaurant. My face warmed.

"Ah...he said I had lovely legs," I said, remembering how good it felt.

"You were swooning," Natalie smiled.

"I was not," I argued. Natalie just nodded, wearing a stupid smile. "He just caught me off guard." Same stupid smile. "Was it obvious?"

"Everyone in the restaurant knew."

"Oh, God," I sighed. I was swooning. I must have looked like an idiot. Jared must think I was a twit.

"I'm sure he thought it was cute," Natalie said. Cute? I was a woman, not a little girl. I wasn't going for cute. What was I going for?

"I have to apologize," I said. I didn't want Jared thinking I was an idiot. I started heading to the door.

"For being cute?" Natalie asked.

"For swooning like an idiot," I replied, ire in my voice. It had been too long since someone, a man, had commented on my looks. If Jared thought one comment would have me begging, he was sorely mistaken. I marched over to his house. A jumble of words ran through my mind. I just needed to set him straight. Nothing over the top, just slow it all down. Let him know that I wasn't easy, he was a nice looking guy, but I needed time. The door opened before I finished knocking.

Soft brown socks, khakis and an untucked olive green polo shirt. I looked up, his lips parted in curiosity, his eyes filled with...with me. All my words left me. I swooned.

"I haven't been with anyone since Tom died," I stammered.

"Your skirt has been driving me crazy all night," Jared said. I leapt into his arms, almost knocking him over. He embraced me, his lips and mine merged forcibly. I wanted him. I didn't want to go slow. I parted my lips and let my tongue explore, tasting him. He grasped me tighter, his tongue dancing with mine. He hauled me deeper into the house and kicked the door closed.

Jared moved backward, leading me toward a room off to the right. I fumbled with his shirt, trying to lift it off while not letting our lips part. He laughed warmly into my mouth as he lifted his arms. I separated just long enough to lift the shirt off him and drop it to the floor. Our lips reconnected, his hands struggling with the buttons on my blouse, mine working on his belt. My hand found his erection through his pants. I felt his desire for me, rock hard and straining. My heart swelled with his need. I undid his pants while he removed my blouse. My blouse found the floor, I lowered his pants and underwear with one push. He struggled to step out of them with my hands exploring my desire. He was so hard. I didn't know I could be so wet.

Jared found the clasp and dropped my bra to the ground. He grabbed my breasts greedily, his mouth finding my nipples. He was devouring me. I leaned into him, guiding his head, giving myself to him. I quickly moved my hand to the zipper of my skirt. His hand meet mine there and he slowed.

"Please," Jared breathed, "leave it on. I'll buy you a new one when we ruin it." I shuddered at his deep voice. Kinky boy. I wanted him to ruin me. I hiked up my skirt and lowered my panties. He smiled. I smiled. He lowered me to the couch, lifting my feet and removing my panties. His hands ran softly along my legs, he hadn't being lying, he loved them.

Jared kneeled before me, his lips following his hands along my legs. He parted my legs without hesitation, his lips and tongue running up from the knees along the inside of my thighs. He was playing with the hem of my skirt, slowly pushing it up. Heat burned between my legs, I wanted him higher, his lips, his tongue - all of him. I moaned uncontrollably when he pushed the front of my skirt past my sex. I widened my legs, exposing myself more. I had never been this bold, so wanton. It had been too long. Life was too short. I used my hands to urge his head forward.

I nearly screamed when Jared's lips caressed my labia. God, I could feel him smile at the way my hips jerked. His fingers found my entrance, his tongue moved north, impatiently coaxing my clitoris to the forefront. I could feel the beginning, the warmth, the tingling and my seldom-used muscles contracting. I wanted the first time to be us, not just me. I struggled forward, reaching for Jared, pulling him on top of me.

"In me," I begged. The man, turned lust-filled boy, softly fought my desire.

"It's been forever," Jared said, "I won't last." I smiled and pulled harder. He followed.

"You won't need to," I moaned. Jared's rigid erection left a damp trail along my leg. His breathing became sporadic as he lined himself up. The anticipation was glorious, the desire in his eyes feeding my own. I grasped his shaft, aiming it home, shifting my hips to better meet him.