The Hardheads: Frank and Mary

"Please Frank" she was saying as I walked away.

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The sad thing was that, as I'd told Mary, I did love her and I missed her terribly every day we were apart. There wasn't a day that went by that I didn't think about her and wish that she were by my side. But the things I'd told her were still true. She had shown me how little she thought of me, she had gone out of her way to keep from talking to me and I would never forget seeing what she had done with Tim on the dance floor and in the booth. I was just going to have to do what I said, I'd have to try and get by it, put Mary behind me and get on with my life.

Easier said than done. Mary was determined to get back in my life and she enlisted help. I started getting phone calls from my mother and my sisters telling me what an asshole I was being for treating poor Mary the way I was. Even my dad got into the act:

"What the hell is wrong with you Frank? Any fool can see that the girl loves you. I don't care what happened between you two, everybody makes mistakes, hell boy, that's part of the human condition. Get your head out of your ass before you lose that girl."

Mary kept calling me and I kept telling her I had nothing to say to her and I'd hang up, but her memory was constantly with me and some nights I hurt so bad I cried.

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The holidays arrived and started out on a bad note. Thanksgiving dinner at my parents was a somber affair as both of my sisters and my brother and his wife let me know how displeased they were with me over the fact that I didn't have Mary with me. Mom slapped the icing on that cake when she said grace:

"And Lord, please watch over and protect the loved ones who are not with us at this table today" and she was looking right at me when she said it.

Once turkey day was out of the way I was able to put Mary to the back of my mind as I submerged myself in shopping for gifts for the family. Dolls and dump trucks for the nieces and nephews, an IPOD for my brother, a new Garmin 250C single frequency fish finder for my dad and a diamond bracelet and matching earrings for my mom. My sisters were the hardest to buy for - I'd always let Mary handle that - but I finally managed to find each of them something that I thought they might like. Their husbands were easier to buy for. They were both Broncomaniacs and clothing with Bronco logos took care of them.

I bought a small tree for my apartment and decorated it. I strung garland all over the place and covered everything with mini-lights. But it didn't seem to matter what I did to try and make the apartment cheery and fill it with the holiday spirit something was missing and that something was Mary.

I decided what I needed to do was have a holiday party and I got on the phone and began inviting people. The night of the party Bill asked me why Mary and I weren't back together. I told him the story and he looked at me like I was terminally stupid.

"You have got to be kidding. Mary would never do something like that and you of all people should know it."

"Oh come on Bill. You saw the same shit I saw in Roddy's that night."

"Yeah bud, I did, but I know Mary well enough to believe her when she said all she was doing was trying to tweak your nose. Hell bud, she broke down crying when I told her what me and Todd and Mary Ellen had done. She asked me how she could ever get you to forgive her and I told her that all she had to do was talk with you and straighten things out. I can't believe you turned your back on her. What you are doing bud is letting your pride get in the way of common sense. It was me, Todd and Mary Ellen who fucked up your life, not Mary. Reverse it bud. What if you came home and found Mary looking like she'd just been screwing someone, what would you have done? And don't tell me how reasonable you would have been because I know you too well. You would have gone bananas and wouldn't have listened to a word she would have said. Better get your head out of your ass bud, before she gives up on you."

That conversation killed any holiday cheer that the party might have generated, mostly because Bill was right. If things had been reversed I would have stormed out and done something stupid to get back at her just as she had stormed out and done something to get back at me. I walked away from the party and went into the bedroom, took a deep breath and tried to call Mary, but I got no answer. I tried six more times that night, but she either had her cell phone off or she wasn't taking calls from me.

The next day I tried to call her at work and they told me that she had taken vacation and wouldn't be back to work until after the holidays. I called her mother and she hung up on me after calling me an asshole. I called her sisters and was basically told to drop dead. I even called my mother and sisters to see if they had heard from her and knew where I could find her. My mother wanted to know why I was trying to reach her and I broke down and started crying:

"I miss her mom and I have got to find her and try to get her back."

"Maybe you screwed around too long Frank. Maybe she doesn't want you back in her life now."

I tried to lose myself in the holidays. I wrapped presents and then I went out and bought more. I went caroling with my nieces and nephews and I took them to see Santa at the mall. All around me Christmas music played and in every neighborhood I walked through the houses were decorated and the lights shown bright, but I couldn't get into the spirit - I needed Mary.

Three days before Christmas I got a phone call from Bill. "I went out drinking with Tim last night. I told him that I'd seen Mary with Tony and then with him and then I asked him if he had anything going with her. I told him that I'd always had the hots for her and if he didn't have anything going with her I like to take a shot at her. He told me not to bother. He said all she was was a prick tease. He said she would dirty dance and swap tongues a little, but you got slapped if you tried to put your hands where they didn't belong. Tim's a cock hound and a braggart bud, and if he had scored he would be bragging about it. She was telling you the truth bud."

For the next two days I called everyone that Mary and I knew trying to find her, but I never reached her or anyone who could, or would, tell me where she was. Christmas day dawned and I loaded all the gifts in the truck and headed on over to my parents house. Gift giving was to be at two followed by dinner and I got there about ten to two. As I pulled up in front I saw my mom looking out the window and as soon as she saw me she let the curtains fall back into place and left the window. I carried all the gifts into the house and put them under the tree and as I was doing it I couldn't help but notice a large refrigerator sized box wrapped in green sitting against the wall. I figured that dad had gotten mom a china cabinet or a hutch for her set of crystal.

At two o'clock that family gathered around the tree. The kids were all antsy to get at the pile of Christmas presents under the tree. Mom got up and walked to the tree, but instead of starting to hand out the presents she said:

"As you all know the tradition is to let the children open their gifts first and then the grown ups open theirs. This year we are going to break tradition and let a grown up go first, or at least he is supposed to be a grown up, but the way he has been acting lately makes me wonder. Frank, you get to go first, but I have to tell you that your gift is not returnable or exchangeable. It is one of a kind, it has no warranty and replacement parts are not available. It is something that you need, but would not get for yourself so your father and I got it for you. The big box is yours."

I looked over at the big green box and wondered what I needed that I would not get myself that would come in a box that big.

"Well go on Frank, open it," my mother said. "Jim, you help him."

Dad got up and walked over to the box and said, "Grab one side and lift."

We took hold of it and lifted it up to expose Mary sitting on a chair with a big red bow tied around her. The look on her face said as plain as day:

"Don't say no Frank. Please God don't turn and walk away."

I stood there and stared at her, heart beating rapidly, eyes misting over and then I opened my arms and stepped forward and Mary came off the chair and into them.