The Holiday Park Incident

Their clothes were already stacked by the front door. I even took all the sharp knives out of the drawer so they couldn't cut up the furniture. I then took photographs of them with their phones. I was planning to just use hers, but I managed to unlock his with his thumbprint. I then took the passcode off. The hardest bit was getting the sheet out that they were laid on. I had to cut it up. I even took the pillows and the toilet paper. I also grabbed the coffee jar and the cups they had been using. I left the milk.

Right, next stage of the plan, I took his car and parked it next to the one I was using and transferred the folding bicycle I had into it. I had all the clothing and clothes in a plastic bag in the back of his car.

I had pondered long and hard what to do about his car, there were no nearby gravel pits I could drive it into. I didn't want to drive it into a river or the sea. Setting fire to it in the woods meant it would still be found. I wanted it to disappear completely. No, there was something I'd read in a story online. I drove the car to the side of town where all the ne'er do wells hang out. I left it there with the doors unlocked and the keys on the dashboard. If this lot were sensible, it would be off the street and sold with the change of number plates or stripped down for spares in short order. But probably it will just be driven and wrecked, never mind.

I still had their phones with me, her handbag and his wallet, I took all the cash out of his wallet and her purse and put it in mine, there wasn't much but it would pay for some of the sex toys that I'd bought. His credit cards I left on the seat of the car, just in case some enterprising ne'er do well could use them.

I took her credit cards, broke them in half and dropped them down a nearby drain. His wallet and her handbag went into a rubbish bin.

I got the folding bike out and headed towards the holiday park. I just got out of the area where I was feeling a little safer and I got the slip of paper out that I had brought from home and phoned the number from his phone. It struck me that I didn't even know his name, to us if he was just Deputy Principal. I could have looked on his credit cards.

"Hello, is that the South Coast Gazette?"

"Yes, who's speaking please?"

"An informant."

"We don't take information over the phone unless you can verify who you are."

"I'm afraid I can't do that; I work for our local MP and I'm afraid he's doing something he really shouldn't. These Greens are so upright all the time, and they think that they are better than the rest of us. He is currently in a caravan with another man's wife. I think there's some kinkiness going on."

Now, MPs playing around is not news. But kinkiness adds to the excitement and being the local Green MP added more spice to it. I think they took the bait because they asked where this was happening, and I told them.

I carried on heading back to the holiday park and found myself a nice quiet secluded corner where I could see the van and watch what was happening inside, which wasn't a lot. I saw a car pull up just down the road from the van. It was a strange place to park. I occupied myself by sending small video clips from my phone to both of their phones. And then by sending pictures and videos to everybody in their contacts list from their phones, and even to the South Coast Gazette.

That kept me busy for 20 minutes or so, then it got too busy with their phones, they kept on ringing and texts kept on coming through, so I gave in and turned them off.

I saw a slight movement on the camera, I think they were waking up. I quietly slid around until I was by the side of the van and then I banged rapidly on it. The look on their faces when they woke up was amazing, there was lots of screaming from both of them, but his was slightly different. It may have had something to do with pain as she wrenched her wrist away, I could go on about how they ran, well hobbled around the van, but there was no running. They managed to get themselves together and then realised there was no clothing anywhere. He just shouted, she just cried.

The noise made the man in the car perk up because he got out and headed towards the caravan, they must have seen him coming. He leaned out of the window and asked the man if he could help by calling the police, as they had a bit of a problem. That was when he saw the camera from the man in the car. "Goodie," I thought to myself, that must be the journalist. The journalist asked what the problem was. All he was told is that they'd had a bit of an incident and he needed the police.

Well, the journalist was quite nice. After he'd taken a few photographs, he phoned the police. It was a quiet seaside town with nothing happening in the early spring. They turned up quite quickly. The pictures from inside were quite enlightening. The police called the paramedics. I could still see a lot of goings on, oddly enough the policeman's keys didn't work in the handcuffs, that may have had something to do with the Super glue.

One of the policemen came in with a set of bolt croppers and the two lovers were separated. The bolt croppers were used on the padlock on the cock cage, that was when they discovered that that was glued on as well, I must have spilt super glue on his cock as well. O dear, never mind. The paramedics could do nothing about the butt plugs up their arses or his cock cage. I think they may need something to dissolve the Super glue, I don't know if there is such a thing. They were both taken to the hospital. I imagine there's a lot going on there, so it was time I went home.

I had one job to do before I got home, I got out my toolkit and removed the batteries from both of their phones. I was tempted to throw them away, but they might be useful later.

It was dark when I got home and the first thing I did was try to phone my wife from my normal phone, which had been at home all day, next to my computer, oddly enough it went straight to answer the phone. At least I had registered an outgoing call.

I shifted the device from the computer, I had several pages of meaningless characters which I deleted, then went and filled out some online forms. I printed them, signed one and stuck them in an envelope.

About 8:30 there was a knock at the front door. A young policeman was standing there, he asked me to confirm who I was. I did, and then he asked me where my wife was. I told him she was at a hotel in Bristol, and I'd just tried to phone her but didn't get an answer. He showed me a picture on his phone of a lady and said, "Is this your wife?"

"Well, yes that looks like her, but she looks a bit rough."

I'm afraid she's not in Bristol Sir, she's down at Christchurch police station. I believe she was in the caravan you have down there."

"I don't know why she'd be there, she should be in Bristol at a meeting or something."

"I'm afraid you'll have to ask her that, Sir. Can you go and collect her?"

"Where's her car, why can't she come home? How did she get there, can't she come back the same way?"

"Again, I'm afraid Sir you'll have to ask her that. And may I ask you where you have been all day?"

"I've been here, you can check my computer log if you wish. I've been online all day working."

He took a note of that and took my word for it.

OK, my mate's car might be a problem if they looked into it, but I was hoping they wouldn't. Anyway, innocent until proven guilty they would have to prove I'd done anything. I'm certain if they could be bothered to look they would find something. But I'm sure they had too many hate crimes to investigate.

I got in my car and drove to the Christchurch police station, walked in and said, "I've come to collect my wife."

The constable asked if I had any clothes for her because, at the moment, she was only wearing one of those silver foil sheets and a blanket. I told them I hadn't. The fact that she needed clothes must have got lost, perhaps the young policeman that came to my house hadn't mentioned it, or if he had perhaps, I didn't hear it. I told him I hadn't got any, I must have forgotten in the hurry to get here, anyway where are her clothes, I got a reply I was used to, "You'll have to ask her Sir."

They went and collected her, she was a real mess, her makeup was running, her hair was all over the place, she looked awful. She ran towards me. She almost tried to put her hands out until she realised she was naked under the sheet. I held my hand up when she got within arm's length, and I gave her the envelope. I think she guessed what it was. She collapsed on the floor crying.

I had to help her up and out to the car, one of the policemen came and gave me a hand opening doors and the like. The nice policeman helped me get her in the car. I told him we were going to put her in the back.

As we were putting her in the car, I saw across the car park a lady I think I recognised, using a handbag to beat a man around the head. He was also wearing a silver blanket, the policemen helping me left us and rushed over and pulled her away.

I headed towards home, and she cried all the way, for the whole two hours. But I wasn't going to our house.

I didn't get on very well with her parents, we tolerated each other. They are very religious and whilst I am not a religious man, I think that the 10 commandments, the Magna Carta and Sikh belief in equality of everyone and whilst trying not to make the mistakes that man keeps making in accordance with Cicero's teachings are a good basic set of standards to live by. Although I must admit to having not always managed it, especially when younger and definitely in the past week or so.

I wasn't sure how they were going to take me turning up with her in this state, after all the pictures and videos I'd sent them and everyone else.

When the car eventually stopped, I went round and opened the door, I gave her my hand to help her get out, then she realised we were at her Mum and Dad's, not our house. She looked aghast.

She looked at me through the tears, "Please take me home."

"No."

"Please, why not?"

"I gave you a choice."

"What choice?" she said through the tears.

"To cheat, or not to cheat. You chose to cheat. I suspected you'd been having an affair, I had no proof, so I gave you a chance, if it was in the past we could have carried on, grown old together. But you decided to carry on cheating."

They saw me pull up, her mother came out and the first thing she did was slap her daughter round the face. She then looked at me and said, "Is there any chance?"

"None at all."

Caroline looked at me and said. "I'm sorry, please take me home."

I looked at her and with a sad voice I said. "I gave you a choice, you ignored it."

Her father was there. He started helping her towards the house.

With that I turned and walked back round the car, her mother followed me she asked me again if there was any chance. I got my phone out and played her the clip where he asked to restart after I wasn't so suspicious, and she had said "Yes, I do, you'll want more of me. I'll think about it." but cut it off before she said 'No'.

I got in the car and drove away.

Epilogue

The post-nuptial agreement stuck. She got advice from a proper divorce lawyer, actually one from my rugby club, it was only advice. He told her that she had signed the post nup and then willingly went and broke the agreement, she didn't have a leg to stand on. She didn't try to contest it. I got the house, just over £100,000 and my MG.

As you may have guessed they both lost their jobs. They didn't have a moral clause; they didn't need one. The reason given was 'bringing the college into disrepute'. I think the military used something like that. He got divorced, I think she took him to the cleaners. The rumour was that they had a prenuptial agreement as she was quite well off when they got married. He would never work in the educational system again. Nor I suspect, would she.

I gave Caroline the caravan. I wouldn't want to go in it again. I gather she got a small job down there, so I heard from Jason, who doesn't have much to do with her apart from the odd phone call.

I did see her at Jason's wedding, she looked awful. I was in between girlfriends at the time and didn't take one with me. She came up to me and said, "I'm really sorry, can we have another go."

"I gave you a choice, you chose to cheat." I turned around and walked away.