The Idiot, the Farmer and Me Ch. 02

"Amy's been like a Mum to him," he was grinning himself. I smiled,

"I'm so sorry to hear about your wife."

"Thanks," he said genuinely.

"I'll go and get his jacket while we think of it."

"I'll get you a drink, another glass of wine?"

"Yes please!" I said and stood.

As I walked back to my room I thought about this really nice guy, widowed with a lovely family that was now, technically I suppose, part of my family. Standing on the grand staircase I looked down and into the room as 'Dancing Queen' finished the Abba music.

I took a rather slow walk back to my room, taking in the other facilities this grand place had to offer - the fitness suite with its gym and huge pool, massage tables and beauty treatments, some of which the bride and the bridesmaids had all taken advantage of that morning.

I looked out of the huge picture window at the grounds and could already see a few couples that had wandered off into gardens for a walk and a cool down, the sun setting in the background across the distant Ridgeway was the perfect end to an almost perfect day, but for me (and Izzy I suppose) managing to piss of the extremely attractive uncle of the groom.

Hmmmm, the uncle of the groom...

I was snapped out of my reverie by the stunted snort that had awoken me in the night for at least eight years of my life as I walked past the Idiot Ex's room. Fuck, but I sooooo hated the fucking man! I stomped back down the corridor, significantly pissed that he had managed to ruin yet another nice moment in my life, which he kind of had a habit of doing.

When I got back to my room and let myself in I was greeted by a bit of a high-pitched squeal which was a semi pissed Izzy stripping out of her wedding dress, her shapely bum in some almost invisible panties pointing at me!

She straightened up and laughed and shook her fantastic dress and stepped through to the small room and the day bed she had stored her clothes on for the journey home.

She was left in her white corset that she had put on under her dress, and she asked if I could undo the laces at the back.

"And poor Ed doesn't get to see any of this?"

"Oh don't worry, he will!" she giggled, "It's going home tomorrow and I've promised him a private showing!" she grinned, "PLUS I had some boudoir photographs done two weeks ago wearing this lot," she waved at the dress, "then gradually less of it. Something that the photographer suggested to me during our engagement photo shoot, and we've been planning it in secret ever since. Those are the special wedding photos that only Ed will get to see!" She slipped the corset down and stepped out of it, and patted her suitcase, "The album is in here," she said totally comfortable stood before me naked but for her tiny white panties.

Fuck but I was proud, my baby girl was the most beautiful woman and was comfortable and confident in herself and had just taken the next big step in her life. She picked up and folded her corset and turned to see me with a few tears running down my face.

"Hey Mum!" she trotted over to me, "No need for that!"

"Not sadness Darling," I said, "Just an amazingly proud Mummy moment!" I wiped a quick hand across my face to catch the last few tears, then putting both on her slim waist, "you are sooooo beautiful!" I gave her a tiny shake.

"Awwww!" We hugged, and she took a step back and posed with her hands on her hips looking me straight in the eye then looking me up and down in return, "All your own work Mum."

"Your Dad was in there somewhere," I said. I will confess I only said it because I felt I had to rather than actually thinking it. Izzy took a step forward and put a hand on my shoulder.

"Fuck off Mum, even you don't believe that." She raised her head and looked strong, like her grandmother always had, "I still love Dad, but all of what I have achieved is in spite of him rather than because of him. The rest if it was YOU!" It was her turn to give me a tiny shake and even she had a few tears after that.

I helped her into her going away dress which once I raised the zip looked like it was glued to her and was a mid-blue, mid-thigh designer frock with a plunging neckline that only someone with our kind of figure could really do justice to. We touched up her make up and went back to the party and had a great time.

Dave handed me my glass of wine and I suddenly remembered that I'd STILL left Chrissie's jacket in my room. I took a sip and promised to return for it later and was pulled off to dance by Izzy, Denise, Amy and Julia.

The night was drawing to a close and a taxi arrived and whisked the happy couple off to the airport and a late-night flight to Mexico for a fortnight.

It was only as I tearily waved goodbye to my gorgeous daughter that I remembered Chrissie's jacket and I as I turned to head back to my room it struck me that I now had a spare bed, almost in another room. I could sleep on the day bed (that my Izzy should have slept on the night before preferring to come and sleep with me drinking hot chocolate and chatting about days past) while Rob and Chrissie could sleep in the huge king size - I felt I owed them both that much and sat with him again to tell him about the spare bed.

Dave wasn't at all flustered by the whole thing, and I was a bit concerned by that; I mean, because of Izzy and my cock-up, he'd been dragged off by the police. If that had been one of The Idiot Ex's family they would already been on the phone to a no-win-no-fee solicitor and looking up which holiday they were going to take with their compensation.

But nothing from Dave, he smiled and we just chatted. I looked around the room and while there were quite a few people I could have gone and circulated with, I was quite taken with just sitting with the really nice bloke and his son and just chatting about life and how shit happens.

Since divorcing The Idiot Ex I had been chatted up quite a few times, and quite often they made it quite plain what they were after. I had stopped going to the club, somewhere I had virtually grown up, because it was obvious - apparently - that 'Sammy was back on the market again' and they were all but queueing up to 'ask me out'. A long string of blokes just like Les who had perhaps stared across the bar and the dance floor at curvy Sammy and thought that they might like a little go with that.

After all, she was divorcing Les and was bound to want a little bit every now and then. At a party to celebrate Mum's fiftieth birthday, those twats were all but lining up for me and after the fourth "No thanks, I'm not looking to start a relationship right now," had ended up with my pissed prospective Romeo calling me a fucking slag and shouting across the packed Saturday evening clubroom that I was a 'fuckin' prick teaser'. My son Ray, still hurting from the ridicule brought down on us in this self-same room a few months before, kicked the offender square in the bollocks then hit him with a bar stool as he was bent over in agony.

The manager was about to remonstrate with the boy when almost the entire room stood up, insisting that the now out cold gobshite was well and truly asking for it, and all of the men in the room, bar the other three that had tried for my affections who were casually turning the groins away from my juvenile champion, said they would have done the same if it had been their mum.

That upset pretty much decided me on moving away from my part of London and going to stay nearer to Denise and her small business she'd offered me a job in.

My hero Ray was still my hero, and I looked across the bar at him looking fantastic in his evening suit and chatting to Izzy, Ed, Julia and her boyfriend and Amy. I hoped there was a beautiful and kind girl out there waiting for him.

I looked at Dave, smiled, stood and took his hand pulling him to the quieter dance floor, and as if by magic the slow dancing started and I took the opportunity to pull him closer as Chrissie was given his umpteenth Coke.

We chatted nicely some more and as the music played softly and slowly and we moved gently to it.

"Sam..." he said, knowing that the song would finish any moment, "Would you... I mean..." I smiled, the poor sod looked so uncomfortable.

"Would I what Dave?" I grinned, and pushed myself closer to him, slipping my arms from his shoulders up around his neck - he was obviously trying to ask me out on a date!

"Would you... like to do dinner one evening?" he managed to burst out.

"Why Dave!" I said with a grin, "I'd love to!"

"Wow!" he said, "thanks!"

"No," I said, "thank you!"

He smiled, the relief in his face evident, so evident that his daughter and niece spotted it from the other side of the room and cheered loudly, making the rest of the room stare and try to imagine what our smiles and red faces were about.

Another slow song started and we carried on dancing and I did something I love most of all, resting my head on a strong shoulder as I'm held by someone and Dave realised this, holding me tighter. Our simple pleasure was only stopped after a third song by Dave noticing that Chrissie was looking really tired and yawning his head off, sat alone at their table.

I told him that I now had a spare bed and that he and Chrissie could sleep over. He thanked me and and we walked to my room where I let them in, explaining that they should have the large King size and make themselves comfortable while I would take the day bed in the main part of the room. I left him with his son and went down to the party with a real sense of disappointment, for the closing moments and the goodbyes for those not staying.

After that there were some final dances and it was a shame that I couldn't share them with the rather nice man I'd been making friends and dancing with since I had found him arguing with the hotel management and being taken away by the police.

I saw my Mum to her room and headed back to mine, tiptoeing in as I was conscious that two people would already be asleep. I had already moved my T-shirt nightdress to the day bed so as long as I kept it quiet I would disturb no one.

Once in, I could see through to the bedroom part where Dave and his son were sleeping. I moved to the bathroom and removed my make-up, cleaned my teeth, put on my nightdress then tiptoed back to the day bed and pulled the duvet over me.

The next morning I woke to some soft chat of Dave and some replies from Chrissie. I rolled over and looked across to where my guests were starting to wake up.

"Good morning boys!" I said popping my head up and getting a soft smile from Chrissie and a big grin from Dave.

"Good Morning Sam!" said Dave, "Thank you so much, we both slept extremely well!"

"Good!" I said sitting up, conscious that my large boobs were just covered by the thin cotton of my T-shirt and not contained by the lacy light green bra I'd been wearing the day before when I was pressing them against him as we danced. Because I'd always looked after my tits and kept them supported gravity had been kind to them.

So conscious was I of Dave and his only being some yards away my nipples sprung to attention and much as I wanted to fold my arms to hide them, a brief hint of his bare, broad, hairy chest as he too sat up convinced me that I should let him see the effect that me sleeping in the same room and waking up with him had on me, if only unconsciously. I knew that my nightie was quite decent but would show off my long legs very nicely and just hint at what was beneath.

I stood and walked across to the balcony and opened the door, stepping to one side as the breeze blew the soft net curtains and let in the fresh country air and the smell of the dewy grass and trees. I used the bathroom then once out stepped across to the dressing table where the there was a kettle and some mugs.

"Tea?" I asked.

"Yes please," Dave said with a smile and yawning and stretching showing off his fine musculature even more.

"Chrissie?"

Chrissie smiled and popped his tired-looking head up off of the pillow and added "Please!" so sweetly to the whole mix.

I switched on the kettle and blew a kiss to him, which he returned with a grin, all but slapping himself in the mouth with his hand in his glee and desire to return the feeling.

I stretched slightly on my toes, very much in the way that we did with the children doing some very basic physical education, something I did most mornings when carrying out this very task but in my own kitchen. What I forgot was that in my kitchen I wouldn't have had a very hot looking man watching my shortie-nightie creep up over my bare curvy buttocks just showing the lace of my tiny string panties as they appeared out of the cleft.

I know this for as I rested my hands on my hips and stretched to my right I saw his refection looking at my virtually bare arse.

I slowly sank down again letting my shirt slip down to re-cover me, and if my nipples hadn't been hard before they certainly were now and I swear I felt my pulse race and that tingle in the groin I hadn't felt in so strong, not even reading my outback porn of a few years before, not even when getting out my trusty tiny vibrator for a little something to help me sleep.

Controlling my trembling hands I poured the boiling water into the three cups and strolled across the room concentrating on not spilling anything on the oak flooring while trying to add the tiniest wiggle to my hips!

I handed Dave his tea giving a tiny curtsey and we both grinned, then I stepped around the bed and sat, putting Chrissie's tea on the bedside table to cool.

I took a sip from mine leaning forward slightly and blowing across the lip. Chrissie grinned at me and did likewise. He put down his cup as it was still very hot and headed for the bathroom.

"He is such a sweetie!" I said with the blush on my face, trying not to look at the magnificent pectorals, abs and beautifully sculpted arms of the boy's Dad.

"Thanks," said Dave, "I think so as well.

"Hell Dave," I said unable to hold it in, "do you work out or something? I mean, just look at this body!" I folded my arms and crossed my legs so he could take a look at mine at the same time.

"No," he said taking a sip of his tea, "This is all as a result of my other job, well I suppose you'd have to call it a hobby really," he slapped a hand on his large bicep, "This is lugging hay bales, sheering sheep, delivering all kinds of small animals out of other animals and generally living the good life." He drank more of his tea, "I have a bit of a small holding down in West Sussex, and with some regular lecturing and the money from my late wife's estate me, Chrissie and Amy are able to live quite comfortably."

"Wow!" I said pausing and taking a breath, "you're a genuine rancher!"

He looked at my pursed lips and cheeky grin that only I understood fully.

"Yeah, I'm bloody lucky and I never forget it either, you'll have to come and have a look one sunny day."

"That would be lovely." I said, I hadn't had a day in the country in years after all.

He paused,

"Well..." he took a breath, "when I take you out to dinner next week we can discuss it."

"That would be lovely," I said finishing my tea and managing to hide my giggles. "Right!" I said standing up, "I'll use the bathroom while Chrissie finishes his tea!"

I took my towel from the day before and my jeans and a clean T-shirt and undies. By the time I came out, showered and dressed, Dave was sitting with Chrissie and they both stood smiling, both wearing tight stretchy boxer shorts, and fuck but Dave looked good in his and I tried jot to look at jis groin, honest. It did look very promising.

I said I would see them both for breakfast.

I headed down to the dinning room to meet some friends and family, looking slightly bleary eyed from the previous nights celebrations. I had already finished a bowl of yoghurt and fruit when Dave and Chrissie appeared both looking refreshed from their showers and in yesterday's trousers and shirts.

"May we join you?" he said. I of course smiled and nodded.

"No sign of Amy yet?" I asked.

"Nope, Ray?"

"Not yet, his Facebook page showed him, Amy, Julia and a mess of others drinking and dancing into the wee hours, doubt we'll see them for a while!"

"Excellent!" said Dave, "That's the kind of thing I like to see in young people." We stood and headed to the buffet where I loaded up, having a real appetite this fine morning, then I watched him load bacon, eggs, sausages, toast and all other manner of good things onto a plate, then a second, one of which he laid before his son.

"Party animal Dave?"

Chrissie beamed and picking up his knife and fork set to the meal with gusto.

"Was once," he said, "Children tend to calm you down a bit, after all you can't get too pissed in case you have to drive them somewhere in a hurry."

"That's right," I said, "I only learned to drive nine or ten years ago mind you."

"Really?"

"Yeah, I never really needed to, and we couldn't afford a second car, not until I split up with the Idiot Ex and moved out of London."

"I'm very sorry," he said, quite sweetly I thought.

"Don't be, best thing I ever did." I sipped some of the quite wonderful coffee the waiters and waitresses were bringing round to refill our mugs. "I married when I was seventeen and pregnant with Ray; like all kids of my age I thought that I knew best and that it would all be good in the end." I drank more coffee, "wasn't until I'd been single for a while and lived on my own with the kids that I actually grew up. Best thing that ever happened to me in the end."

I started my plate of the wonderful food.

He smiled,

"Did I meet your Ex yesterday, pissed as a Chapel hat-rack and the life and soul of the party?" he sipped his coffee and smiled at Chrissie, who was on his third sausage and really enjoying it, "I could only understand one word in four."

I couldn't stop myself from laughing.

"A really shitty light blue suit with beer stains on his shirt?" He laughed and nodded, "That's Les the Idiot Ex, believe it or not he's actually Izzy's father!"

"That he may be but having met you I can see where she gets it from, she's a credit to you."

I blushed and grinned,

"Thanks Dave," I stopped myself then gave in to it, and leaned across and kissed his cheek.

"You're very welcome!" he said, patting his cheek.

"Kiss me too!" said Chrissie next to his father, his lips drawn up into really cute pout, so I kissed him to, loudly and he giggled, wiping a hand across his mouth. He finished his plate of food telling his Dad he was going to get more. As I finished mine I saw that he had been side-lined by Uncle Paul and Auntie Gwyn and encouraged to sit with them and chat for a moment, and she touched his head to check on his wound of the night before by which time Paul had brought him another plate of the same and he set too.

This left both Dave and I on our own for a few moments and casting a quick sideways glance at Gwyn I was sure that this was her plan as well. I was just about to ask him about coming to visit his farm in the country when the peace was shattered.

"Good Morning Sam!" said a loud voice and from my left I saw Denise, in her sprayed-on clothes and her perfect Higgins figure looking fine this bright sunny morning. I had watched her on and off for most of the night, hopeful that she might meet someone to slow dance with and like me, find someone with whom she might 'break her sexual fast' as it were. She had been on dates with a few blokes but nothing to write home about.

Working busy Monday to Friday weeks and occasionally going out with Denise, or parties at Mike and Mel's place we were both yet to find someone to party with on a more individual basis, but much as we both encouraged the other, we'd both had some bad experiences with men and in retrospect it's easy to find faults with a fella after you've had a real fucking peach of a bad one.