The Interview Project Pt. 04

THE INTERVIEW PROJECT-PART 4: NATALIE

"I like to tease guys!"

The reaction to parts 1-3 of THE INTERVIEW PROJECT was quite gratifying. So much so that I knew I had to do at least one more round. All of the original girls wanted to do updates (and boy, did they have stuff to update!) but I opted to speak with three new girls this time. Natalie was another friend and former employee of mine. I hadn't seen her in several months when we met at the park for our interview. Her long brown hair had been styled much shorter and highlighted with a lighter shade. The effect made her seem more mature than her twenty years. She was coming off of a bad few days but was cheerful and chatty. It was really good to see her. Apparently the bees thought so, too, as they accosted us throughout our first conversation. We met again a couple weeks later to fill in some blanks. Meet Natalie.

B-Tell me about yourself. Who are you?

N- Oh, God. What do you want to know? I'm twenty. My parents are separated but that's a good thing. I'm gonna major in law…as soon as I can get to a Law School. I…I am me!

B- And who else would you be? What's your family background?

N- Well, we moved to the area I'm in now when I was five. My parents continued to argue. I don't know why they didn't get divorced sooner. I had a really bad relationship with both of them until I was about thirteen or fourteen, where…it's like finally my dad kind of knew how to deal with me. I had a bad relationship with my brother until about the same age and I had a bad relationship with my mom up until about a month ago.

B-So you'd describe it as a rough childhood?

N-Yeah. It was abusive.

B-What was your religious upbringing?

N-Nada. My dad was born in New York and was raised Jewish. My mom was born in Kentucky and raised Southern Baptist but those were both cases where the religion was forced on them until they rebelled against it. So I was raised with nothing…except by some friends who were Christian and dragged me to church. Baptist.

B-So what do you consider yourself?

N- Well, I am interested in Wicca but I think Wicca doesn't want me. I really like the male-female aspect of the Deity and I don't like how no other religion in the world seems to focus on that. There HAS to be a male-female aspect because there's males and females in the world and if we are the image of God then there have to be females, too. I also like how they accept the good and the evil side of everybody. Everybody is inherently both good and evil including the Wiccan Deity…or Deities. If you really think about it, so much of Wicca can be related to Christianity. I mean, a spell is just their way of praying and focusing energy. Anyway, I've always felt like it was more of a race than a religion but I always just considered myself part Jewish.

B-Well, where did sex fit into all this?

N-The subject was never touched upon. It actually didn't teach me anything. What I learned about sex was, um…when my parents, um…would be doing it and I could hear them from the hallway! It was kinda gross and so I like, probably had a better understanding of it than most people my age.

B-Did you really have a better understanding or were you just thoroughly confused?

N-Well…really, neither because I didn't think about it. I think on some level I really understood.

B-How did you actually learn about sex?

N- I don't know. Barbies?

B- Anatomically correct Barbies? (Laughs) I mean, did they teach it in school?

N- Well, yeah but that wasn't until Junior High.

B-How old were you when you got your first period?

N- I was almost sixteen.

B-Really?

N-Yeah.

B-Were you worried about not having started yet?

N-Yeah. My mom took me to the doctor and the doctor said they didn't worry about it until you were eighteen and didn't have it.

B-I've never heard of a normal, healthy person not hitting puberty by eighteen.

N-It happens. If you've got an eating disorder, it'll keep you from getting it. If you're way underweight.

B- Were you?

N-No. I don't think.

B-So it was just the luck of the draw in your case then that you didn't get it earlier?

N-Yeah. It sucked. I was made fun of for being flat. I was still kind of producing the right hormones 'cause I was done growing before I hit puberty. I was, like, five two and a half and I don't think I've grown since then.

B- Do you masturbate?

N-Yeah.

B-Tell me about a typical experience.

N-Of masturbation?

B-Yeah. I mean do you use a vibrator or…

N-Oh no. No. 'Cause it kind of numbs the area. A typical experience lately is that it really does not take a long time. It could take about 45 minutes back when I was younger and that would really piss me off but I was too stubborn to stop, so…

B-Do you do it because it feels good or do you do it to relax yourself?

N-Well, let's say I do it when I need to relax a certain area. (Laughs)

B-Okay, let's talk about your first kiss.

N-Well…It sucked. I was with this guy who, like, really didn't like me and I don't think he was even attracted to me but he was jealous of me and he thought that he could hurt me most by going out with me and then dumping me. He emotionally abused me…severely! I didn't even realize it. I had no idea what was going on. It took lots of thinking about it to figure out what he did.

B-That's so sad.

N-Yeah.

B-Tell me about your first sexual experience of any kind.

N-Well, it was with my second boyfriend. I was still getting over the first one and this second guy seemed to be a good idea at the time and actually helped. We were actually outside on my king-size trampoline and we had just gotten out of the pool so we were wearing bathing suits and we had towels and he was, y'know, just fingering me through the bathing suit.

B-So when did you first go all the way?

N-With this second guy. We were in the basement because that's where his bedroom was. His dad and his younger sister were both upstairs.(laughs) We had a condom and basically he asked if I wanted to do it but that was before we started

doing anything so I didn't want to and then we started doing stuff and that, of course, will, uh, lower your inhibition if you're…well…yeah.

B-Did you like it?

N-Yeah! No orgasm.

B-Do you have orgasms?

N-When I have sex only if I, uh…you know…kind of masturbate at the same time. I feel lucky that I figured out I could do that.

B-I got news for you. That's the way most women do it and it wasn't really until the 1970's even that it became widely known, even among women. You're rarely going to get an orgasm just from penetration or intercourse alone.

N-Well, I've heard that the younger you are, the harder it is and as you get toward your mid-twenties it gets easier 'cause you're maybe loosened up a bit. For the first time, you have to be on top, you have to be angled the right way and you have to really be concentrating. And you have to realize it's gonna take awhile.

B-(laughs) Ooookay. That's one I've never heard before. What kinds of things turn you on?

N- Umm…Like, sex scenes and kissing scenes on TV and stuff. Those parts in romance novels used to but I've discovered I'm a lot more visual than most women.

B-Do you like to watch porn, then?

N- Well…yeah. Yes and no. Depends on if it's good and if the people in it don't look completely skanky and it doesn't look completely fake.

B- Do you like to read erotica?

N- I used to but then I broke up with my last boyfriend and it all seems so incredibly unrealistic and contrived and that's why romance novels don't turn me on anymore.

B-Ah, then you need to read more of MY stories. They're incredibly unrealistic and contrived, too, but nonetheless…(laughs) Anyway, do you like to have your neck nibbled?

N- Yeah.

B-Do you like a guy to play with your breasts?

N- Ehhh. Depends on if they do it right.

B-Meaning?

N-Guys my age…or the guys I've been dating…are stupid. They like breasts and playing with breasts gives them pleasure and so they forget that it's supposed to give the woman pleasure, also and they just go at it for their own pleasure and do not focus on the woman. They can be a little too rough or just completely insensitive. Ick!

B-Do you talk dirty during sex?

N- Hate it! Absolutely hate it! It's such a turn-off. I will not do it and when a guy does it I just…"Oh, God!"

I'd just like be laying there thinking "Shut up and get on with it!"

B- Okay. In your own head, then, what name do you call your private parts?

N- Just…the normal layman's term: crotch. Yeah. That's what it is. That's it. That covers everything down there.

B- Do you shave it?

N- A little. I just shave the key area.

B- Do you like the way it smells?

N-You get used to it. Doesn't smell like fish. That's the cliché for women that aren't clean.

B- Are you comfortable with your own body?

N- Yeah.

B- How would you define the word "slut?"

N- Someone who…basically has no respect for themselves and has sex just because they think their worth is based on how many men want them.

B- Where do you stand on alcohol and drugs?

N-Well, uh…pot I have no problem with. I've only ever had a contact buzz 'cause I'll hang out when other people are smoking it. And I obviously have no problem with alcohol because both my mom and brother are bartenders. The past couple nights, I've been kind of pissed so I've gotten out my brother's bartending book and made my own drinks.

B- What is your definition, and this is an important question, of the term "having sex?"

N- Well…ummm… my definition of having sex was always just actually having intercourse but now I'm starting to find out that apparently having sex is just about…well, it's oral sex and intercourse and all sorts of other stuff like that.

B-President Clinton's to blame for the way most young people seem to define sex these days. He said he "did not have sex with that woman" yet he was getting regular blowjobs from her and that whole cigar business…

N- But I don't consider that sex.

B- Apparently neither do most people now which brings us to how many guys have you had sex with by your definition?

N- Two.

B-Would you consider yourself to be kinky at all?

N- I would say naughty but not kinky. I'm naughty because I sort of like to take charge occasionally but I'm not into…Well, I guess I do kind of like to tie them up but I'm not really into whips and chains and stuff. Stuff that's kind of weird like S & M. Now that's kinky.

B- Do you prefer sex to be rough or gentle?

N-I kinda prefer rough but it kinda has to be gentle or else…like…it'll hurt the next time.

B- You've had a lot of problems with that, haven't you? Sex hurting.

N-Yeah. I'm still not sure its better not having had sex in, like, six months. My last boyfriend, when we first started having sex, we would do it like four times a day, rough, and not spread out either. Four times right there in one hour.

B-That's impressive as hell about him!

N- Yeah, well, he was the one who could have multiple orgasms, not me. It's not right! It's like if he just kept going, he just didn't get soft! I didn't really realize I was probably hurting myself so we just kept doing it. I realized that it wasn't getting better and that if I went awhile without having sex, then the next time it would hurt worse, which I totally don't understand. If something's scraped raw, you'd think time should make it better. It also might have been that he just wasn't turning me on enough. He wasn't catering to my needs enough so I just might not have been aroused enough or wet enough. I know some of the time that was definitely the problem.

B-How about handjobs? Guys love handjobs. How many have you given?

N- I have no frickin'idea! I've given them to two different guys. I was with the one for eight and a half months and the other even longer so…there were plenty. Probably around a hundred. Fifty to a hundred.

B-If you were involved in a threesome, would you want it to be with two men or with you as one of two women?

N- Two men.

B- Have you ever been with a woman?

N- Yes.

B- Talk about that.

N- Well, it was basically for experimentation because I was so sick of guys I was kinda hoping maybe I could turn to girls. So there was this girl, a lesbian named Kristine, that had a crush on me so I figured I'd give it a try but it made me realize I was not a lesbian because there was no emotional connection so it really, really wasn't as good.

B- Did you initiate the encounter or did she come to you?

N- Sort of mutual. We kind of went to each other.

B- What exactly did you do with her?

N-We did have sex.

B-In what way?

N- Um…Well, There was an orgasm involved.

B- For both of you?

N- Well, no. Just me because Kristine , I think, has control issues and she does not allow herself to have one. She says that with both her girlfriends, she's come really, really close but then she just couldn't allow herself to have one.

B-Did you go down on her?

N- No. She didn't want me to because she hadn't shaved or done any maintenance or anything.

B- So what would you say you got out of the experience?

N- I got an orgasm! (Laughs) I really like oral sex when it's done right and I have a feeling she probably could've done it right. I mean, I really wanted her to go down on me and I think I could've really gotten into it if she had done that but, for some reason, she didn't and I never really thought to tell her. I kind of wish that had happened but I'm kind of glad I didn't go down on her 'cause I'm not sure I'd have liked it that much. I know I don't like the smell so I probably wouldn't have liked the taste.

B-How do you think she felt about it all? Did she enjoy you?

N- Yeah, she enjoyed it more than I did 'cause she's an actual

lesbian and I, apparently, am not.

B-That doesn't necessarily mean that she enjoyed it. I mean, if you weren't able to get into it…

N-Well, I did still get into it! Just not to the extent that I would've if she'd been a guy.

B- Are you and Kristine still friends?

N- She's going to college in another town now so we're not really in touch but one of the Advisors has her email address and I want to get it from her and email her.

B-Okay, moving on, have you ever been tied up or would you like to be?

N- I have but I prefer to do the tying. (Laughs) It's just more fun. I like to be in control.

B- So you were in complete and total control and this guy was completely tied up?

N- Yeah!

B-So what did you do?

N- Just basically teased him and there was nothing he could do about it. "Cause if his hands were tied up and I'm teasing him , he couldn't make me stop or really make me do anything. Which is fine, 'cause I like to tease guys!

B-You don't like tickling but…

N- Yeah, I like to DO the tickling!

B- Oh, boy. Have you ever had anal sex?

N-No. I tried it and it was really, really painful.

B-You…attempted it and it didn't work?

N- Yeah.

B-Do you like it when a guy goes down on you?

N-Yeah.

B-What do you like about it?

N-Well…hmmm…

B-Do you like the fact that at that point they are catering specifically to your needs?

N- Uh, I never felt like they were catering to my needs because it always seemed to be a need for them.

B-Really?

N- Yeah. They need to do it 'cause they like the taste. They like to pleasure their women but they really like the taste. Most guys just seem to really like going down on women and they seem to need to do it for themselves.

B-I swear, all I've ever heard is the opposite. Traditionally, women could not get men to go down on them at all!

N-The guys I've been with…they really liked it and my last boyfriend really, ummm…He said he'd been wanting to do it for awhile because he wanted to prove to himself that he didn't suck at it 'cause his last girlfriend didn't like it.

B-I thought him sucking at it was the whole point.

N-(Laughs) You know what I mean. He said the reason why he couldn't do very well with her was that she was dirty and smelly.

B-Do you like going down on a guy?

N-Umm-Hmmm. I don't really like the taste usually but it's that whole…liking to give pleasure thing.

B- Do you keep eye contact while you're sucking them?

N- Their eyes are closed usually. They really like it. General consensus is I'm good at it!

I like to be in control but I'd like to have a man that could control me, too. You know, one that's actually man enough for me. But I haven't met one yet.

B- Do you swallow?

N- No. I can't seem to make them come when I do it. I can't coordinate the mouth and the hand.

B-Have you had a "69?"

N-Unless my definition is wrong, then, yeah.

B-What's your definition?

N-That's where you're kind of, like, going down on each other, right? Yeah. He was too distracted to do anything! I could concentrate and I could do a good job and still concentrate on what he was doing. He couldn't.

B-What's your favorite sex position?

N-I guess missionary. It's sort of a toss-up between man on top and woman on top. Like, when I'm on top it just feels better and if he's on top…I don't know. Part of me would like to be kind of dominated but not too much. To a normal extent. So that was a little more like I was being dominated but…not really 'cause I've dated a bunch of pussies.

B-What's your least favorite?

N-Doggie-style. Penetration's a little too deep.

B-That's why most women like it.

N-Well, Neal's kind of had some curvature so it must have been hitting that spot where…it's a toss-up as to whether it would feel good or not.

B-Would you ever take money for sex?

N-Maybe if I was really desperate…and, maybe if I knew the guy and he was just willing to help. I don't know. Probably not. It would have to be really special circumstances.

B-What's something you've never tried but would like to?

N-I kind of wanted to incorporate whipped cream but he doesn't like whipped cream. I'm like, what is wrong with whipped cream? What is wrong with you?

B-Chocolate?

N-Well, we would use chocolate sometimes. A little too sticky. There's just something about whipped cream.

B-What about something you'd never try?

N-Whips and chains, an orgy…

B-Why not the orgy?

N-Too many people. It's supposed to be an intimate loving act. You can't be intimate and loving with that many people…especially at once.

B-Tell me about your most embarrassing sexual moment.

N- (Laughs) I never did anything embarrassing.

B-Does size matter?

N-Width, probably…and length to a certain extent. It's gotta match up to your length because vaginas come in different lengths, too. So, to a certain extent, depending on your size and your preference.

B-Where are some of the more unusual places you've had sex?

N-I haven't had enough experience to really do it in any unusual places. The first couple times we did it at my house, we were really afraid of getting caught and we'd do it in the garage or, like, in my car in the driveway.

B-Would you ever have sex on a first date?

N-No! Unless it was a guy I had known for awhile maybe and had known him long enough to know I trusted him. Not with a stranger!

B-What do you do about birth control?

N-I use Depo-Provera, the intramuscular shot.

B- Do you worry about diseases?

N-Well, both of the guys I've had sex with were virgins so not right now, no.

B-How do you relate sex to love?

N-Well, if you have sex, it doesn't equal love 'cause you're not going to have sex and then fall in love. If you have sex before the guy's in love with you, then he's just gonna look at you as a sexual object and he's not gonna love you. It's supposed to be an act of love. If you're in love, it's supposed to bring you closer. The person has to be special to you or else it's just not gonna be as good!