The Jimmy Soul Memorial Party

All you had to do was not spend all last spring pushing him away. That hurt, for Nancy was quite sure she'd done nothing of the sort. It was true that the main thing she and Derek had in common was Neil, and once that was over with their friendship had drifted apart as they'd failed to explore other aspects of it. It was, she supposed, also true that she'd had to cancel a time or two on Derek when they'd had plans to be together. But Nancy was a busy woman with a lot of other friendships to tend to, and she'd explained as much to Derek every time she'd canceled. All he had to do was offer some other time to meet up, and he'd never done that as far as Nancy could recall.

Besides, either Derek had had a crush on her, or he was a gay man in desperate search of a fag hag -- Nancy was no longer sure which, but clearly one or the other had been the case. If only he'd have just said so already, maybe she'd have been able to trust him more. Just how hard was it for him to be open with her? Of course he'd always denied the former and made no mention at all of the latter, but Nancy knew how hard it was for men to be in touch with themselves, never mind their friends. She was more than willing to help him through it if the poor guy would only let her.

Which brought things back to this silly party. They hadn't seen each other all last semester, he would surely go on denying he had a crush on her, and evidently he had no other date...why not just ask her? For the first time, she admitted to herself, she just might say yes. After all, if she spent the evening with him but once again made it clear there was nothing for him beyond friendship, maybe he'd get it through his head and they could close the books on the whole thing!

Or was it that he already had figured that out?

Nancy was back in her room by then, and she shut the door and flopped down on her bed to consider that possibility. Derek no longer caring about her. He'd been there for her all that time whether she wanted him around or not. After she and Neil had broken up, she definitely hadn't wanted him around for a while, but that wound was healed now. No matter how lonely those weeks and months had been, there was always that one door she'd always known was open to her. Was it shut now? Really?

One evening together, that's all she'd have to endure. A little light flirting here and there to rekindle his hopes, and once again she'd have her old standby at the ready. She didn't relish that one evening, but she'd make that sacrifice to get Derek back in her orbit.

And damn, would it feel good to have Neil seeing her on Derek's arm at that stupid party!

Across campus, Derek didn't see Carol anywhere in the dining hall, so he joined Neil and Karen. "You look excited!" Karen said as he sat down at their table.

"Do I?"

"Yeah, you do," Neil said. "Hot date last night?"

"As a matter of fact, it was," Derek said. "I hadn't been to Paoli's since freshman year. I'd forgotten how nice that place was.

"So have you asked her to the team party?" Karen asked.

"No, and I won't. She asked me to the Valentine's Day dance, so there's that to look forward to."

"Well if she asked you, now you ought to ask her someplace!" Karen protested.

"I did," Derek said. "To come over and study tonight."

"You romantic you," Neil teased. "Gonna miss you at track, you know."

"Same here," Derek said.

"Then why don't you invite her to the party already?" Karen asked. "I don't get it!"

Derek gave Neil a silent look. Then he turned to Karen. "Truth is, I think I'll just be too busy this semester. Especially now that I think I'll be seeing a lot more of Carol."

"But isn't she going to wonder why you don't just ask her to the party, especially if it's serious between you two?"

"Not if she doesn't know about the party," Derek said.

"Well," Karen said. "I'll keep my mouth shut for you, but I just don't get you men." She downed the last of her drink and stood up. "I've got to get to the library for a studygroup. See you guys later?"

"Sure," Derek and Neil said in unison.

"Thanks for not spilling the beans," Neil said as soon as she was gone.

"Do you really think she'll stay in the dark about it forever?" Derek asked. "Or that she'll want anything to do with you once she finds out?"

"It's good for a laugh until then," Neil said. "Besides, girls like her, they know they're ugly, they don't mind."

"Wow!" Derek shook his head in disbelief.

"Man, I know girls, all right?" Neil asked. "Seriously, just ask Carol. She'll understand!"

"I doubt it," Derek said. "And I wouldn't understand even if she did."

"Whatever," Neil said. "Want to hit the matinee after lunch?"

"I have an errand to run in town, then I need to study before Carol comes over tonight."

"Cool. Karen said she'd be there after swimming anyway. I've just got to kill time until then."

"Why don't you go join her at the pool?"

Neil looked horrified and shook his head. "I don't need to see that in a swimsuit!"

The errand Derek had in town was to buy condoms. He'd lost his youthful embarrassment about it as he handed over the package at the drug store and the woman behind the counter scanned it, but he did feel the same wonderful sense of anticipation. Good to know that never went away, he reasoned as he put the plastic bag in his backpack and trudged back through the snow to campus.

Though officially their date for that evening was to study, Derek had a strong sense that studying was just about the least likely thing to happen. So rather than return to his room, he headed for the library and settled himself at the comfortable end of the ground floor with his British history text.

He'd barely made it five pages in when he noticed someone waving to him. He looked up to see Karen grinning at him. "Hey again!" she said.

"Hi, Karen. Off to the pool?"

"Yes, and then the movies. You joining us?"

"Too much to do this afternoon. But thanks."

"No problem," she said. "Listen, can I ask you something?"

"About what?"

"About Neil. You're his best friend, aren't you?"

Derek nodded.

"Is he...I mean, is there something I should know before I get too serious with him?"

Derek was sorely tempted. But he said the first thing that came to mind. "It's none of my business."

"I know, but I just want to know if I'm playing with fire here. Come on, Derek, you can tell me. Please?"

"Okay. Yes, Karen, you are. Sorry."

"I sort of figured. I hope that's not what's keeping you from going to this party, though?"

"No, it's not that."

"Hmm, cool. Well, I already said yes to the party, so I'll go to that with him, and then maybe cool it with him?"

"I think you might find you want to, yeah."

"What do you mean?"

"Like I said, none of my business." Derek turned back to his book. "Just...don't expect much out of Neil, that's all."

"I wish you'd tell me why not, at least."

"It's the kind of thing you really have to see for yourself. That's all I can tell you. Enjoy your swim."

"Thanks, Derek." She touched his hand and left him with a smile, which managed to leave him feeling even more guilty for having not told her everything. He was right, it was none of his business, but he felt guilty all the same for keeping his mouth mostly shut.

Three hours of trying to make sense of Oliver Cromwell didn't help matters much. But the midwinter darkness and a quiet dinner in the dining hall put him in a better frame of mind for the promise of the evening. When he got back to his room, he hastily tidied the place up, stashed his dirty clothes in the closet, and traded his sweatshirt for a button-down shirt that went well with his jeans, which he rolled up carefully so the cuffs matched for once. As a final touch, he lit the scented candle he'd bought as an afterthought in town, and opened his door so Carol wouldn't need to knock.

Knock, though, she did, on the open door. Derek had settled himself on his bed by then, and he called out "Come in!" without looking.

He did his best to look nonchalant, and to read nothing into the fact that she didn't shut the door behind her. But she looked lovely in yet another sweater and skirt combo, complete with bedroom slippers that she kicked off before joining him on the bed. "How was your day?" she asked.

"Actually got quite a bit done this afternoon," he said. "I usually manage to waste Sundays, but I kind of figured..."

"That you wouldn't get much done this evening?" Carol grinned and reached out her hand, which he took and squeezed affectionately. "I had the same concern. Honestly, Derek, I sort of came into this thinking there's no way we'd be able to study, not after last night. It was such a wonderful time!"

"Well, we can always set aside dancing for our study breaks," Derek offered. "Say, one hour of study, one song?"

Carol laughed. "Good idea, but that's not really what I meant! I do know we've got to study, believe me, but I think we ought to talk, too. Where is this going?"

"I know where I want it to go," Derek said. "I mean no pressure, of course, but after last night...I just really want to get to know you better, you know?"

"Me too! Of course, I...God, this is so much easier in the movies, isn't it?"

"That's why we go to movies," Derek said. "To escape reality, because it's a lot harder." He set his book down and patted the spot beside him on the bed. "Want to snuggle?"

"More than you can imagine!" She curled up beside him and welcomed his arm around her. "Well, this is a good start, isn't it?"

"We don't have to go any further, you know," Derek said.

"It's not that I don't want to," Carol said. "It's more that...I don't know how, you know? It's so awkward!"

"It is for everybody the first time," Derek said. "It was for me, too. Of course, the gal I was with was crazy, that didn't help, but it was all the same."

"Oh, I'm not a virgin," Carol said. Then she laughed. "Isn't that pathetic? I've done it before but it's still awkward."

"Oh, well, I meant your first time with anyone new," Derek said. "But listen, if you're uncomfortable with it, we can wait as long as you want."

"That's just it, Derek, I don't want to wait!" Carol stood up and looked serenely down at him. "Last night was beautiful, and I really feel we could have something, but...I've only been with one guy, and he was kind of a jerk. He drank a lot, and when we had sex he...I don't think he even really saw me, he just saw a conquest, and when it was over he acted like he didn't even want to touch me. It was like my body repulsed him, and I already knew I wasn't a Miss America, but...ouch."

"That guy's a jerk who didn't deserve you, then!" Derek stood up as well and put his arms around Carol. He wondered if this might be the guy from Harvard, but he put it from his mind -- that was obviously just Kent blowing smoke. "Just like my crazy ex didn't deserve me."

"Did she act like you were repulsive?" Carol asked. "That was what it felt like for me."

"More like she had some elaborate fairy tale mapped out in her head," Derek said. "And I was supposed to know all my lines without her telling me. Every time I made one wrong move, even if it was putting my arm around her the wrong way, it was game over."

"Putting your arm around her the wrong way?"

"Sit down and I'll show you." Carol sat back down on the bed, and Derek sat next to her with a few inches between them. "We were watching a movie one night, and she says 'Don't you want to do something with your arm?' So I do." He put his arm around Carol, then just as quickly lifted if off. "She picks it up and literally throws it back at me, like this." He thumped his hand against his chest. "And, call me crazy, I didn't touch her again for the rest of the movie. Then afterwards, she asks me, 'Why don't you like to snuggle while watching movies?' And she wasn't even joking!"

Carol was roaring with laughter. "What a bitch! I'm glad you got rid of her!"

"Thank you! But you can see why I don't really know what to do just now either." No need to mention Gail, who'd been great in bed last fall -- at least he'd learned something from her that might come in handy now. But he remembered all too well what it was like to feel how Carol was feeling now.

"I don't blame you." Carol leaned in and they kissed. When it was over, she asked, "So, do you want to make love tonight?"

"Only if you do. I promise I won't be repulsed by you!"

"How do you know you won't?" Carol smiled gamely, hiding her insecurities. "You don't know what I look like underneath."

"How could I be? You're beautiful with your clothes on, after all."

"Thank you! But...well, I..."

"I'm shy too, Carol."

"You don't act like it."

"That's just practice," Derek said. "Forcing myself to speak up in class, that sort of thing."

"God, if only there were a way we could just see each other naked all at once and get over the shock of it," Carol said.

"Good idea." Derek stood up. "We could just undress back to back and then turn around."

Carol laughed...and then realized she liked that idea a lot. "Okay!" She stood up with her back to his. "Ready when you are!"

"Ready, set, strip."

Each heard the other's zippers coming undone, cloth sliding off, and various sounds they wouldn't have guessed at if they hadn't known what was going on. Carol noticed the mirror offered a view of Derek's back, but, true to the spirit of the deal, she averted her gaze as she undressed. Once she'd tossed her panties on the bed, she asked, "Are you done?"

"Yes," Derek said. "Count of three?"

"One, two, three," they said in unison, and they both spun around.

Carol burst into girlish laughter, and had to use every ounce of resolve she had to keep from trying to cover up, while Derek gazed at her in adoration. When she noticed his penis springing to attention, embarrassment gave way to joy and she stopped laughing. "Like what you see, do you?" She reached out to touch it, then pulled back.

"I sure do, do you? And this is no time to be shy!" He took her hand and placed it on his hardness. "Go ahead, play with it all you want." Neither Gail nor the psycho bitch he'd lost his virginity with had ever looked at it so endearingly, and he loved it.

But not as much as he loved her gentle touch, which he reciprocated on both of her breasts with his thumbs gently teasing her plump nipples. "Oooh, that feels lovely," she whispered, looking down.

"Not so embarrassing after all, is it?" he asked.

"Well..." Carol laughed. "A little bit."

"It is for me too," Derek admitted. "But that's part of the fun, don't you think?"

"It does kind of feel like you're on fire, doesn't it?"

"Deliciously so!" He slid his arms around her, and Carol sighed with delight at the skin-on-skin sensation as she returned his embrace.

It wasn't the professor's lair she had imagined, and she wasn't the gorgeous older woman she'd made herself out to be, but in Derek's arms she felt just as beautiful and welcome, as welcome as his lips locked on hers and his left hand rubbing her back gently and his right hand exploring her bush, whose size he didn't seem to mind in the least. She felt a delicious tickle of anticipation even before his first gentle finger found its way inside her. When it did, she broke their kiss and let out a gasp. "Oh! Feelssogood!" She gripped harder on his erection and feared for a second that she'd hurt him, but he only responded in kind.

"Like that, do you?" He gave her a light prod and lay her on her back.

"Love it!" she said. "I've heard that feels amazing, but..."

"But no one's done it before?"

"Never."

Derek looked like he wanted to say something. But instead, he leaned down and kissed her breasts and resumed stroking inside her. He immediately wished he'd thought to turn on the radio, for Carol's responses were loud and unmistakable. But they were beautiful, and only encouraged him more. He chanced a second finger, and got an unequivocal "Yes!" in return. It was the last articulate word Carol had to say for the moment, as he now had her in a delightful tizzy that didn't let up until she came with a joyous yelp, thrusting her hips up to grind them harder against his hand.

"More please!" she said as soon as she'd caught her breath.

"Help me on with this?" He opened the nightstand drawer and got out the box of condoms.

"You planned on this?"

"Aren't you glad I did!"

"Completely!" She tore the plastic wrap away and opened the box, and drew out the first foil square. "I always wanted to do this!" she enthused.

"Have at!" Derek stood up, still hard and at her eye level.

As Carol unwrapped the condom, she chanced a playful kiss on the tip, which made him yelp just as loudly as she had. "I've never heard a man do that before," she said.

"I'll keep that in mind!" he quipped as he watched her slowly, lovingly roll the condom on.

If Carol had been a bit loud before, that was nothing compared to her intense responses once she had him inside her. As Derek humped her slowly and gently at first, he already couldn't believe she was the demure classmate he recalled from that music class. But then, her moans were the sweetest music he could imagine and the look in her eyes as she gazed up at him was the perfect accompaniment to it all.

Remembering what she'd said about his own responses, Derek did his best to let go and moan out loud as well. It didn't feel natural, but he liked it a lot all the same.

So, evidently, did Carol. "Oh, that's beautiful!" she said after a particularly intense thrust caused Derek to stop buried all the way inside her and gape wide-eyed at her as he caught his breath.

"Just didn't want to come before you do," he said as he resumed his thrusting.

"Thanks. Faster!"

Derek obeyed, doing his best to think of distractions to keep himself at bay while Carol's responses grew more intense by the second. He didn't have to do it for long before she grunted, "Oh my God!" and threw her arms tightly around him. He collapsed on top of her and once again let himself drink in the beautiful sensation of her body under him, enveloping him, and he came as well with an intense sigh.

They lay together in a warm, wet silence for a minute or two, before he dared speak up. "Nothing to be embarrassed about now, is there?" he joked.

Carol shrieked with laughter. "Never again!" she vowed, hugging him as tightly as she could.

Derek was sure he was glowing on Monday morning, or at least giving off some sort of aura. By the end of his first class, no one had commented yet, but he nevertheless felt like he was walking ten feet off the ground as he stepped out into the winter chill, which he now welcomed as a reminder that Valentine's Day would be a happy one for a change.

Kent had guessed that Derek would head for the student union to get another cup of coffee after his class, and from his stakeout spot just inside the science building he saw he was right. He timed his casual-looking stroll across the snow just right, and caught him halfway there. "Say, Derek!"

"Hey, what's up?"

"I meant to call you this morning. I found a CD of yours last night in my bookcase. Golden Doo Wops of Bing Bong Records, something like that?"

"Bim Bam Boom Records?" Derek asked. "Yeah, I haven't seen that one in a while."

"Now we know why. Sorry, I didn't bring it out this morning because I didn't know I'd see you. Can you come by the union around three this afternoon, and I'll bring it by?"

"That'll be fine, Kent. Thanks."

"No problem. So how was your weekend?"

"Wonderful, thanks. Yours?"

"Oh, got in a little domestic dustup in the lab on Saturday, I'm afraid."

"Love combusting over the Bunsen burners, huh?"

"Wrong science, Derek. But yeah, you know Carol? She came in the lab on Saturday just looking destroyed. Trouble in paradise with that guy from Harvard I told you about, I guess."