The List

The song that inspired this story was from the seventies. It was about the funeral of a man that everyone thought was a little wimp until all these beautiful women started showing up to his funeral and his wife was shocked.

I chose names randomly, except for the wives. The only name on the list I decided on for this purpose was Halle Berry because she is number one on my list. I admitted to my wife one day I was having an affair with her. My wife laughed and patted my head. Huh, Won't she be surprised?

Joke.

A 95-year-old man took the stand as a witness in his rape trial. Across from him sat a 25-year-old blond bombshell. She was 6 feet tall, fully curved, with 48 EE. She accused him of rape.

Once the old man was found guilty of the crime, the victim would sue for damages of 50 million dollars. Wiping out the old man's wealth

DA: Mr. Peacock, my client, accuses you of raping her for 2hours on April 3^rd of this year. You signed an affidavit admitting your guilt. Is that the truth?"

Old Man: "No, sir. Turning to the jury and smiling. I raped her for four hours.

Judge: Snapped down the gavel. "I'm putting an end to this trial. I am dismissing the jury."

Judge: "Mr. Peacock. I am sentencing you to 90 days in the county jail.

The blond Bomb shell stood up. "What the Fuck" he raped me, and he only gets 90 days.

The Old man, "Yea, judge. I raped her, and all I get is 90 days."

Judge: "I'm not sentencing you rape; I'm sentencing you for perjury."