The Passion of Angie

"Val, I won't be in tomorrow," Angie said as she left that afternoon "I really feel like crap. Hopefully a day of rest will help.

Valerie gave Angie an understanding nod and a smile.

"I don't blame you. Take whatever time you need, I say. There's no point in coming in if you're not feeling well."

Angie walked to her car. Already she felt better knowing she would not have to work the next day. She appreciated Valerie's concern, but realized part of it was probably motivated by her not wanting to catch whatever virus Angie seemed to have caught.

As Angie pushed her apartment key into the lock she felt her body growing tense. Her jaw was tight when she heard the soft click of the lock opening. She pushed the door open and peered inside. Nothing seemed amiss she thought to herself as she stepped inside.

Ginger's food dish was empty so Angie filled it up again then replenished her water bowl. She called for the cat and was relieved to see her trotting out from the living room, seeming as content as ever.

"Did we have any company while I was gone?" Angie asked the cat as she stroked her back.

Ginger purred and arched her back as Angie rubbed the base of her spine, then resumed eating.

Angie was glad to be home. She was even happier to not see or smell any obvious signs of Gustav's presence. She turned the television on and walked down the hall towards the bathroom. When she flipped the switch to the bathroom light and entered Angie froze. She wanted to scream but felt to weak to force sounds from her mouth.

Written in lipstick on the bathroom mirror was a message:

Come with me, my love.

Panic and fear welled in Angie's chest. Her breathing grew rapid as she stared at the words, neatly written on the mirror. Lying on the counter was her tube of lipstick. The end of it was no longer a neat conical shape, but flattened and compressed.

Angie looked around the bathroom. Nothing else seemed out of place. She picked up the lipstick tube and tossed it hard towards the wicker garbage can in the corner. It bounced off of the wall and rolled behind the toilet. Angie sighed. Suddenly it occurred to her to check her bedroom. Angie hurried towards the doorway and looked inside. Her bed was unmade as she had left it that morning and everything seemed to be in place. On her night stand were the papers containing Holly's story of Gustav and Miranda in a neat stack. Angie stared at them, trying to recall whether she had brought them into her room or had left them on the coffee table. She feared she was losing her mind.

Drawing in a deep breath as her resolve grew stronger Angie gathered the papers from the night stand and brought them into the kitchen. She pulled open a draw beside the sink and shifted it's contents about with her hand. Not finding what she was searching for Angie opened another. She smiled and let out a sigh when she discovered a book of matches at the bottom of the drawer.

Angie struck a match. She watched as the amber flame grew, then picked up the papers beside the sink. The corners of them glowed as the flame from the match began to envelop them. Angie dropped the match into the sink, watching the flame spread upwards, enveloping the paper. She dropped them into the sink, feeling relieved as the fame spread, turning the white paper to ashes.

"Good-bye, Gustav." she said, watching the flames turning Holly's story to bits of curled ashes in the sink. She stood there until not a scrap of the white paper remained, then turned on the tap and sent them down the drain.

While she ate supper Angie felt a sense of relief and optimism that she had not felt for a while. She was sure that with the destruction of Holly's story would come an end to whatever force or phenomena that had manifested itself in her life. Ginger was relaxed as well, which Angie found encouraging.

As Angie got ready for bed that night she stared at Gustav's message on the mirror once more -- hopefully his last message. She pulled off a length of toilet paper from the roll and was about to begin cleaning the mirror, then stopped. Angie decided to leave the message, at least temporarily, in case Holly wanted to see it. The handwriting was obviously not Angie's and it was the only tangible proof she had of Gustav's presence.

Her bed was soft and welcoming as Angie laid down and pulled the sheets over her. She closed her eyes and smiled, hoping she would have a good sleep and not be plagued with dreams of Gustav. That night she slept well.

Chapter 8

The next morning Angie slept in as planned. She got up feeling refreshed and cheerful. She was looking forward to seeing Holly that afternoon so she could explain her strange happenings, but also tell her friend that she had found the solution.

Angie arrived close to a half hour early for her lunch date with Holly. She checked her watch several times, growing anxious as one o'clock approached. When she saw Holly approaching she felt relieved and gave her friend a wave.

"I hope I'm not late," Holly said "I had to change Stephen right before I left. Talk about bad timing."

"No, you're right on time." Angie replied.

Although Angie was eager to relate her recent ordeal to Holly she decided to wait a while, rather than bringing it up immediately.

After Holly had shown Angie the most recent photos of her son and talked about him a while Angie decided it was a good time to tell her about Gustav.

"Holly, have you ever had anything weird happen to you?" she asked.

"Well, I used to date a guy in college who wanted me to stick a finger in his ass when I gave him head. Does that count?" Holly shot back, laughing.

"Well, that is weird, but I was thinking more along the lines of ghosts and stuff." Angie said.

"No. What's been going on, Ang?"

"Okay... here goes..." Angie sighed.

Angie began with the first message on her bathroom mirror and ending with the most recent one written in lipstick. Angie made a point of not mentioning the times she had masturbated while thinking of Gustav, or how turned-on Holly's story had made her. She considered those aspects pertinent, but much too private and embarrassing to disclose to Holly.

Once she had finished telling Holly what she had been experiencing Angie leaned back in her chair, studying the pensive look on her friend's face. Holly had not laughed or scoffed while Angie spoke, which Angie found somewhat surprising, but she was still fully prepared for Holly to tell her she was losing her mind. When Holly eventually spoke it raised even more questions.

"So you're telling me all this happened as a result of reading my story?" Holly asked.

"Yes. I know it sounds crazy, Holly, but I had a hurricane in my living room. I don't know what the hell is going on."

"It sounds like you've created an egrigore." Holly said.

"What's that?" Angie asked. Her brow furrowed and she hooded her eyes, thinking.

"It's a thoughtform that manifests as the result of one or more people concentrating on an idea or entity." Holly explained.

"Okay, now I'm even more confused."

"Have you ever heard of The Philip Experiment?" Holly asked.

Angie shook her head.

"Let me explain then," Holly said, "in nineteen seventy-two a group of eight paranormal researchers -- ghost hunters in today's language -- got together with the intent of creating a ghost. They wrote a detailed biography for him and named him Philip Aylesford. Then they tried to contact Philip, with no success. About a year later they learned about table rapping -- where a spirit would knock on a table. Once for 'yes' twice for 'no', that sort of thing. Eventually they contacted Philip and asked him questions about his life, which they had actually written themselves. His answers, in the form of knocks, were always correct, although he knew nothing beyond the biography of him that the group had written."

Angie was astonished and somewhat dumbfounded by Holly's lengthy explaintion. She thought for a while, digesting it and attempting to understand how it related to her situation.

"So I've created a Philip, except his name is Gustav?" she asked.

"Pretty much," Holly replied with a laugh "this sort of practice is well documented -- you can Google it -- although it's usually done intentionally with a very specific goal or egrigore in mind. Tibetan Buddhist monks do it too, except they call them tulpas, but it's essentially the same thing. You've done it accidentally, Ang."

"So it's not a ghost or poltergeist?"

"No," Holly said "it's a manifestation of your psyche -- one that is as real as a poltergeist though."

"So how do I get rid of it then? I thought that burning the story would be enough."

"Sometimes they just go away on their own if you ignore them, but the most effective ways to disperse them are through prayer or breathing them in." Holly explained.

"Huh?" Angie grunted, tilting her head to one side.

"When a egrigore is present, the one who created it can draw it in with a deep breath. This will cause what feels like a static shock inside the body. It gets rid of them -- although I don't know if I'd recommend this."

"So I don't need an exorcist then?" Angie asked, sounding worried.

"No, nothing that drastic, I don't think." Holly said with a laugh.

"Thanks, Holly." Angie sighed "I was beginning to think I was going crazy and I was sure you'd think the same."

Angie drove home, feeling even more relieved and comforted after talking with Holly. That evening as she watched television she replayed the conversation in her mind, focusing on Holly's advice about getting rid of Gustav, should he make his presence known again.

The apartment was calm that evening. Ginger was curled up beside Angie sleeping. It occurred to Angie that she should email Holly to thank her for her advice that afternoon and tell her she'd be in-touch soon to arrange a time for them to meet again.

Angie's computer beeped and the fan began to whir when she started it. She looked at the screen, watching as her desktop appeared. Once her computer had finished booting Angie typed an email to Holly telling her how much she appreciated her input on the Gustav situation and that she would like to get together for lunch the following week.

Once her email had been sent Angie turned the television off then went in to the kitchen. She refilled Ginger's dishes with food and water and checked to make sure her door was locked. As she turned off the kitchen light and went back towards the living room Angie heard her printer start.

The drone and clatter of the printer filled the living room. Angie stood over it as the cartridge moved back and forth. Eventually a sheet of paper landed in the tray. Angie squinted as she brought it up to her face to read what was printed on it.

Tonight our souls become one, my love.

Angie dropped the sheet of paper on her desk. She turned and walked to her bedroom.

A gentle breeze filled Angie's bedroom. The curtains hanging over the window began to blow about. Angie looked at the window to make sure it was closed, although she knew it was.

Angie smiled as she began unbuttoning her blouse.