The Promise

"There are numerous camera crews outside," Tammy said as the elevator doors closed, "we were prepared for crowds, but this is exceeding our expectations. We have opened the two adjoining ballrooms to give you more space. It may still not be enough." She was confident, but I sensed a bit of frustration in her voice.

"I am sure it's perfect," Sadie said, smiling. She wrapped her hand around mine. "We appreciate all you have done." I felt a tinge of guilt when I gave her hand a small squeeze. Her hand shouldn't feel so comfortable -- it just shouldn't.

Tammy gave us each a key card, 701 for Sadie and 703 for me. I followed Sadie and Tammy into Sadie's room. It was fairly large room with a small sitting area with four leather chairs surrounding a short, round coffee table. There was a bucket containing ice with and a bottle of what looked like champagne nestled inside. The bucket was ringed by a four-piece flute set.

"From the mayor's office," Tammy said, pointing at the champagne. We each took a leather seat and Tammy unfolded a piece of paper she had pulled out of her skirt pocket. "The caterer is already here, they are expecting to begin serving at six. The mayor would like five minutes, if you wouldn't mind. His chief of staff said it would be strictly in support of the City Kitchen." Tammy stopped there and looked at Sadie."

"That will be fine." Sadie shrugged. This was all getting bigger than we had expected.

"How long will you need?" Tammy asked Sadie.

"Pardon?"

"Your speech, how long do you need?" Tammy repeated. I don't think Sadie was planning on more than a thank you. I could see her thinking within herself, trying to put something together.

"You can tell them about Richard, how it all started," I said helpfully, "'Sugar Magnolia' and the number of people that get fed. They might as well know what it means to you." Sadie smiled at me.

"Five minutes would be fine," Sadie answered with confidence.

"And you Mr. Thaxton?" Tammy looked at me and I looked at Sadie.

"I am just here to support Sadie," I said, "I wasn't planning on saying anything."

Tammy gave a small grunt of surprise. "You're going to disappoint a lot of people," Tammy said with a condescending tone. "A lot of people are expecting a song." I looked between Tammy's grim expression and Sadie's suppressed grin.

"I guess I could say a few words. Maybe talk about the people I met and how the kitchen helps them." I was thinking about Houser. "I could come up with a few minutes."

Tammy scribbled something down on her paper and looked back up to Sadie. "I spoke with a Bob Townsend and he told me about 'Sugar Magnolia.' We are prepared to play it when the buffet opens if you like."

"That would be wonderful. Thank you, Tammy." Sadie looked very pleased and I thought it would be a wonderful addition. Everything seemed to have a nice flow to it. Sadie could explain 'Sugar Magnolia's' significance and it would lead right into it getting played. The only thing that could disturb that flow would be me saying a few words.

"I think 'Sugar Magnolia' should come right after Sadie's speech, you know, right after she explains its meaning," I offered.

"That makes sense," Tammy agreed, "but when would you speak." I wouldn't, I thought. I threw that wonderful thought away.

"Maybe during dinner I could say a few words." Maybe everyone would forget I exist by then. If not, I could just give everyone a great big thank you. Short and sweet. Sadie laughed. She knew exactly what I was thinking. Amber would have really liked her.

"I think they are expecting more than a thank you," Sadie said. She knew me as well as I knew myself. It was unsettling to hear her divine my thoughts.

"I can talk about Houser and Maggie," I offered, "how much it all means to them. How much it means to me that they have a warm meal." It was off the top of my head, but would be easy to talk about. The truth usually is.

"Perfect," Sadie said, her face going compassionate, "they need to know why they are donating and I can't think of a better way." I smiled. It wasn't a smile I could control. Pleasing Sadie was becoming important.

"I'll make sure everything is set, and someone will come to get you around 5:30," Tammy said, "sure you won't sing?"

"I haven't prepared anything," I said with a sorrowful shrug. Tammy left, promising the night will go smoothly as possible. Her confidence left us feeling pretty good about the event.

"I'm sorry you had to come out of hiding," Sadie said once we were alone.

"You're worth it." I meant to say the City Kitchen was worth it. My mouth was moving faster than my brain. I stood quickly and headed for the door, "I'm going to get cleaned up," I offered as an excuse. I didn't want to look back, blood had flooded my face again. It took a few deep breaths behind the closed door of my room to calm myself. I sat on the bed and stared at the wall, wondering how Sadie mixed with all my guilt. I closed my eyes and fell back on the bed. I lay there until there was a knock on the door. It was 5:30.

I met Sadie in the hall. She looked at me with kind eyes. The kind that didn't look away from the shame I was feeling. The kind that begged to share the guilt. Those kinds of kind eyes. She held out her hand and I took it. This time she pulled me close as we headed toward the elevator. She raised on her tip toes.

"You're worth it too," Sadie whispered in my ear. I didn't feel like I was. I lightly kissed her forehead for the thought. She leaned into my shoulder and we rode the elevator down, more comfortable than I deserved.

The elevator opened on the first floor to a row of police officers and firefighters in their dress uniforms. A smiling official escort. The whole thing was way out of proportion. We entered the huge ballroom to a round of applause. Sadie took it stoically; I cringed. She turned to me, smiled and mouthed "thank you." The place was packed. Every table was full and many were standing along the walls. There were three buffet lines and we walked along the one in the center, toward the stage. I saw Tony Berkhard looking good in his dress blues with his wife on his arm. I felt ridiculous, but I stepped over to him as we passed and shook his hand. He had done a lot and at least my thanks were in order.

"This is my wife, Rebecca," Tony introduced his overly excited red-haired wife. I still didn't understand what women expected from my unexpected fame. More than I obviously knew how to deliver.

"It's wonderful to meet you," I said holding out my hand. Rebecca laughed and wrapped her arms around me and kissed my cheek. A cheer arose and suddenly I had to shake everyone's hand all the way to the stage. I also had to endure a few more kisses. I was beet red when I arrived at the stage. Sadie stood waiting, obviously enjoying my embarrassment.

I went to stand next to Sadie, just to the right of the podium. I turned to see a sea of people, all out of their chairs. The police officers and firefighters made up half the attendees. In the middle, off to the left, there were two tables filled with my ex-coworkers and boss, Doug Herzog. Some of them waving. Out of habit, I waved back. There were more cheers and I thought 'screw it' and waved to everyone. Up front, I noticed the Leach with his cameraman filming it all. My smile felt fake, it was hard to leave it on my face. I would never make a good politician.

I saw the mayor make his way onto the stage. His smile looked real as he approached Sadie and me. He shook my hand with his other on my shoulder like we were best friends. I was being used, but it was worth it if it helped the City Kitchen. He moved over to Sadie and kind of pulled her closer to me when he shook her hand.

"I understand Patrick Abernathy is causing you some grief," the mayor said just loud enough for only the two of us to hear, "let's see if we can put an end to that." He winked at us. Both Sadie and I lit up with large, honest grins. I am sure it played well for the camera and made the mayor look good. I had no problem paying the price. Sadie just loved the support. The mayor took the podium.

"It looks like half the city is here," the mayor yelled when he reached the microphone. The crowd cheered and the applause continued until the mayor asked it to stop with his hands. "Do you know what makes this city great?" He paused for effect, then answered his own question while pointing at Sadie, "it's people like Sadie Millstead. The City Kitchen provides a safety net for all those wonderful souls who fall through the cracks of our great society. She doesn't do it with tax dollars or by demanding concessions. She's there every day unselfishly giving of herself with one mission in mind." The mayor dramatically cast his eyes across the crowd. He was a speaker and damn good at it. "No one leaves the City Kitchen hungry," he said it with gusto and pounded his fist on podium. The crowd ate it up. The applause was deafening and Sadie looked awfully cute with red cheeks. I didn't need to fake my smile any more. I was proud standing next to her.

"Our proud police officers and firefighters know this. I see most of them right here." The mayor cast his arm across the crowd to more hefty applause. "I see it in all your eyes as you open your wallets to support the City Kitchen. I am proud to be among you, to call you fellow citizens. I want you to know my office and I stand with you. As long as I am mayor, the institution Sadie Millstead and her late husband created will stand strong right where it is. No one will interfere with the support it provides." The crowd went nuts again. I am not sure how many in the crowd knew what was going on, but the mayor just shut down Patrick Abernathy, on the record.

"I would like to introduce you to the driving force behind the City Kitchen," the mayor said, still in his excited speaking voice, "a role model for us all, Sadie Millstead." I smiled at her as she headed to the podium and once again shook the mayor's hand. The mayor spent a few seconds patting my shoulder and smiling with me as he exited the stage. At least my fame had bought Sadie a strong defender.

Sadie was a competent speaker. Not the vibrant, play to the crowd type like the mayor, but she was confident. She spoke about how she and Richard started the kitchen. At the time it was mostly Richard driving the dream. How it became her dream as well. The crowd became quiet as she mentioned Richard's passing and her promise to make sure the kitchen continued. She spoke well of the progress and future of the kitchen.

"I have kept one tradition as a tribute to my late husband," Sadie said calmly, "every day at 4:00 a song is played. It was his favorite and substitutes for our dinner bell. We will play it now to open the buffet." The silence permeated the room as we waited for the music to start. It didn't come and Sadie started looking around anxiously. I saw Tammy moving quickly to the stage with a worried look on her face. I happened to glance down at the Leach. He was smiling, an awfully sneaky smile. There was a gleam in his eye. I knew then; he had set me up.

My heart started pounding and I closed my eyes. There were way too many people here. I heard Tammy whispering something about a missing thumb drive to Sadie. 'Sugar Magnolia' was too fast for me. I knew the words; I've heard them every day for months. The tune had melted into my brain long ago. If I could just slow it down, sing it at my pace. I tried to pull Amber together in my mind. I could always sing to her. The images were fleeting, my weak memory failing. My hands began to shake as I opened my eyes to a bewildered crowd. I turned toward Sadie. She was flustered and confused when she looked at me. Her eyes met mine and her face shifted to concern.

I sang. I sang to her.

The words just flowed as I memorized every facet of Sadie's face. I saw her eyes swell, a tear run down her cheek. I sang the song at my pace. Our pace. Sadie held my eyes and I drew confidence from her and sang stronger. She took a step toward me as I came to the end. When I finished, she jumped into my arms and I didn't want her anywhere else. I turned her face away from the crowd so they wouldn't see her tears. They saw mine instead. The applause was deafening.

I pulled away slightly when my heart began to slow. My mouth moved as fast at my guilt, "I love Amber." I don't know what I expected, but a smile wasn't it. Sadie raised her mouth to my ear and whispered..

"And I'll always love Richard." Sadie kissed my cheek softly and slowly separated from me, her hands following my arms down until she was holding both my hands. "We have guests to thank," she said, her smile defying the tears on her cheeks. I nodded and we headed down the stage stairs and began going from table to table.

I stopped when I passed by the Leach who was trying to follow me around with his cameraman. Smiling for the rest of the world, I leaned into his ear. "You're supposed to report the news, not create it." He laughed and handed me the missing thumb drive.

"I didn't report everything Houser told me," Bob said conspiratorially, "consider it payment for keeping my pen quiet." I thought about it. He was a slime, but a compassionate one.

We spent the rest of the buffet thanking the hundreds of people who showed up. We thanked the mayor for his speech and he made sure the Leach got a good shot of him with us. I have no idea how it would play with everyone else, I just know he had my vote.

I was never any good at accepting public praise. The constant comments about my singing were embarrassing me. I was lucky Sadie was there to buffer some of the praise. She had a way of allowing me to accept it without having to come up with too many verbal responses beyond the occasional thank you. I just let her do most of the talking. Some of the women were a little aggressive, but Sadie always seemed to slide between them and me. For some reason, my cheeks were open season for kissing and I was expected to hug closely. My clothes had absorbed a hundred perfumes by the time we finished.

The police officers and firefighters were ecstatic I was coming to the Guns and Hoses event. I had no choice but to seem excited. They were here for us, so I would be there for them. I really didn't want to sing again. It just seemed to draw more unwanted attention and the stage fright was slightly debilitating. I would be there though, hopefully increasing the attendance as they had for us. They were good friends to have. I thanked detective Berkhard heartily again, since he is the one who put it in motion.

I was called up to the stage once again. I had almost forgotten I would have to say a few words. Sadie came up with me and I welcomed her company. The stage was a lonely place to be. I spoke briefly about the City Kitchen, about the people I met and how much the kitchen meant to them. We were one link in a support structure for those who had lost their traditional ones. I spoke of Houser and how his warped view of life helped me endure the death of my wife. I thought about Houser as I spoke and I wondered how much he had lost. There had to be a reason he had given up and chosen his strange freedom. I closed, pledging my support and thanking all those in attendance. The applause was warm and everyone stood up. I was uncomfortable with it and glad Sadie was there with me, her hand taking hold of my fidgety one.

I felt the Leach owed me one after the stunt he pulled. There were things I needed to know. When I came down from the stage I asked him quietly for help. He said he would try. Now I owed him again.

It was 10:00 when I finally made it to the seventh floor and collapsed backward onto the bed. It had been a long day and it took its toll. I had promised myself I would consider the future once the banquet was over. Technically, this night wasn't truly over, but I knew I couldn't put the decisions off much longer. I relaxed my muscles; they had been taut all day. I felt the stress leave as I closed my eyes. An image of Sadie formed, 'and I'll always love Richard.' It echoed in my skull. I tried to see Amber, but her image kept getting replaced. I remembered how it felt to hold Sadie. I sang to her. I snapped up to a sitting position, eyes wide, my muscles tense again, loaded with guilt.

I was startled by a quiet knock at the door. I shook my head to clear my thoughts and headed to the door. I was about to open it when I heard another knock, but not from the hall door as I had originally thought. It was the door between Sadie's room and mine. My heart pounded hard and my throat thickened. I was hoping I wouldn't see her until morning. Too much was going through my head and I didn't particularly like myself right now. I was crapping all over what Amber and I had built. I opened the door slowly and kind of blocked the entry with my body. Sadie didn't attempt to enter.

"Hi," Sadie said kindly. Her hands came together loosely in front of her. It looked defensive in response to me blocking the door. I felt worse. My first impulse was to yell at her, my second was to the slam the door closed. Instead, I took a step back and let her in. My problems were not hers.

"Hi," I returned. My greeting was more generic. Sadie entered and I closed the door. I should have left it open. With it closed I felt trapped. I fidgeted until I decided to fold my arms in front of me and lean against the wall.

"Guilt?" Sadie asked softly. My arms fell down at her question. I put my hands in my pockets as I tried to come up with some kind of response. I had to look away. Her eyes were too caring.

"I'm sorry." It was a shitty response. It was packed full of cop out. I should have just told her to leave.

"I'm not," Sadie said and sat on my bed. She wasn't leaving. I had to look back at her or kick her out. One or the other. I looked back and shame filled me. "Amber was incredible. I can see it in everything you do. The way you care, the way you make my problems your own. She nurtured that in you. I wouldn't have you any other way."

"It hurts," I said truthfully, "I'm forgetting what she looks like. What does that make me?"

"Human," Sadie answered.

"I see you instead," I said, "it's tearing me up, dishonoring her like that."

"You sang for me," Sadie said, nodding. My eyes swelled and I closed them to hold it all in. "It was lovely," she added.

"Bob set me up," I said stupidly. Sadie laughed which made me smile.

"You sang to me," Sadie clarified.

"Yes," I sighed, "why did it feel like I was insulting her?"

"Because you love her," Sadie said simply, "you will always love her. I don't want you to ever stop loving her." Sadie stood and stepped toward me. "I want you to make room for me too."

"I already have," I said quietly.

"Good," Sadie smiled, "I've made room for you." Her hand softly found the back of my neck and gently pulled my lips down to hers. 'I love you Amber,' I thought as Sadie's lips met mine. 'I love you Sadie,' I thought as Sadie's tenderness engulfed me. I wrapped my hands around her and pulled her closer and returned the kiss as passion invaded. It was a different passion, Sadie's passion. Separate from what I had felt with Amber. Amber would always have my past, I decided to give Sadie my future.

I lifted Sadie into my arms, she was lighter than I had expected. Her giggle tickled my ears. I laid her on the bed and crawled up her body and kissed her again. She tentatively licked my lower lip and our passion grew. Our tongues entwined as we enjoyed each other's desire. I fumbled with the buttons on the front of her blouse, trying desperately not to break away from her soft lips. We ended up laughing as we got all tangled up in each other's clothes.

Sadie pushed me off her and stood up smiling, her clothes all askew. I watched as her blouse hit the floor, followed quickly by her flowery blue skirt. She stood before me confidently in white panties and bra. I realized I was staring, and started to quickly undress. I threw my shirt over the bed and a bra hit me in the face. Sadie had a sly smile as I took in her perky breasts. They were small, and incredibly cute. I tossed her bra after my shirt, and raised my hips to remove my pants. Sadie laughed and I glanced down to see my manhood poking proudly though my boxers.