The Queen

"Here." I said as I handed her the paper, "Read this. I can prove I am a sex fantasy writer."

She took the paper from my hand and studied it. After a minute she spoke.

"This is a grocery list." She said perplexed.

"Oh, sorry. Wrong paper." I explained sheepishly.

I rummaged through my pants and found another tattered piece of paper. It was a copy of 'Lost Tribe'. I handed it to the guard.

The guard studied the paper intently. After a few minutes she spoke.

"Hmmm...I guess you really are a sex fantasy writer." She said, seemingly impressed, "Well, follow me."

She handed me back the paper and I put it in my pocket. She then took me by the hand and led me across the bridge. We came to an entrance to the castle, which bore a striking resemblance to a certain part of the female anatomy. We walked through hand in hand into the giant chocolate castle.

As we got inside I was amazed to see the same girl that was in the bar petting her kitty. Again I could hear a quiet buzzing sound as we walked by. She looked up at me with a sly grin and spoke.

"I see you made it." She said smiling, "The Queen has been expecting you."

The guard led me by the hand through the vast hall covered with candy decorations depicting various sex acts. There were giant candy statues of young women in numerous poses. They all looked good enough to eat, literally. After a while we finally arrived in the Queen's chamber. She was sitting on a golden throne shaped like a vagina. She was wearing red spiked heels and matching crotchless panties. She was easily the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. Her naked breasts were perfectly rounded and full with nipples that pointed delicately upwards. Her thighs looked like they could crush a man's head at will. Her perfect hour glass figure and full hips took my breath away. Her big dark eyes sparkled in the light of the flickering candles that surrounded her throne. On either side of her were young servant girls wearing nothing but brightly colored flowers in their hair. The guard led me by the hand right up to the Queen.

"A visitor here to see you, Your Majesty." The guard spoke.

"What makes you think I have time for this visitor?" The Queen said. She had the most sensuous, seductive voice of any woman one could imagine.

"He is a sex fantasy writer, Your Majesty." Said the guard.

"A sex fantasy writer? Ha, everyone around here says they are a sex fantasy writer." Started the Queen, "Can you prove it?"

"Oh, yes Your Majesty." I said enthusiastically, "Yes, I certainly can."

I reached into my pocket and pulled out a tattered sheet of paper. I handed it to the Queen. She studied it for a moment then spoke.

"A dozen eggs. A gallon of milk. Three onions. A pound of butter. How is this sex fantasy?" She asked, somewhat perplexed.

"Oh, I'm sorry. Wrong paper." I said somewhat apologetically.

It took the grocery list back and reached into my pocket again and produced the copy of 'Lost Tribe'. I handed it to the Queen. She studied it intently for several minutes and then spoke.

"Very impressive. I see you really are a sex fantasy writer." She said handing me back the paper, "What can I do for you?"

"I am here in search of the ultimate sexual experience." I stated with confidence.

"What makes you think I can give you the ultimate sexual experience?" The Queen stated.

I was dumbfounded for a moment. Surely the Queen of Sex Fantasy Land could give me the ultimate sexual experience. That seemed like a no-brainer to me.

"Why, you are the Queen of Sex Fantasy Land." I started hesitantly, "The almighty ruler of all that is sexual. The keeper of every sexual thought..."

"Tell me. Are you married?" The Queen asked, staring at me intently with those big dark eyes.

"Why, yes." I answered.

"And do you love your wife?" She asked.

"Why, yes. Of course I loved my wife." I really did love my wife, "I love her very much."

"Then I cannot give you the ultimate sexual experience." The Queen stated calmly.

"Why is that?" I had to ask.

"Because the ultimate sexual experience can only happen between two people who love each other." The Queen stated frankly, "Go home to your wife young man."

I stood there bewildered. The Queen had confirmed what I guess I really knew all along. I stood there like a fool. I came all this way to hear what I really knew all along.

"So that's it?" I had to ask.

"That's it." The Queen answered.

"What, no whips no chains no whip cream?" I was a bit disappointed.

"No whips no chains no whip cream." She stated, "Unless that's what you and your wife are into, of course."

I stood there for a moment taking this all in. The gorgeous red haired guard looked at me and smiled.

"Anything else?" The Queen asked.

"No, I guess that's it." I answered meekly.

"Keep up the sex fantasy writing. The world can always use sex fantasy writers." She said.

"Yes thanks." I started, "Um, it was nice meeting you."

"Nice meeting you too." She responded, "The guard will show you the way out."

"No that's alright." I said, "I can find my way out myself. I had enough here."

With that I turned and gave the guard a kiss on those luscious lips of hers. Wasn't going to let that go by. Then I stood there and snapped the fingers on my right hand three times in a row.

I woke up back at work in a chair. Carl was standing beside me with a curious look on his face.

"How did it go?" He asked.

"Oh, pretty good actually." I answered, "Hey Carl, do you know where I can buy flowers around here?"

"No, not really." He said hesitantly, "Why?"

"I need to get home to my wife." I answered, "I'm in search of the ultimate sexual experience."

Carl just stood there looking rather perplexed. I just went back to my work.

07-13-09