The Weekend Pt. 02

"Ok pub it is," I said, "But Gillian you are going to tell me the truth. You will answer my questions or you might as well leave now." She murmured her agreement.

"Karen, you and I really need to have a talk about your past. The rules of the game for both of you are simple. I ask a question and you answer it truthfully." They both agreed. I had to wait twenty minutes before we headed off to the pub while they changed out of the old jeans and tee-shirts they were wearing and into something more suitable.

Their idea of suitable made my jaw drop. Gillian had borrowed a black dress of Karen's and with her raven hair pulled back into a French braid, she looked every inch the movie star she was. For some reason, I don't recall Karen filling out that dress the same way Gillian did. Karen was in my favourite denim skirt and a white peasant blouse and my heart ached as I took in her beauty. I held my arms out to her and she hugged me, her lips seeking mine.

The pub is a five-minute walk away. It nestles to one side of the village cricket pitch, close to the infamous duck pond. It's a proper English village pub, a haunt for the locals. It's warm, cosy, friendly and best of all it's off the beaten track. Strangers are a rarity and discouraged. It was our local and due to an interesting set of circumstances we been excepted by the locals very early on. So when Gillian walked in front of us, there was a brief hush, until they saw Karen and me following her and then the hubbub resumed.

I waved at Carol, the owner of the pub. She smiled at me as I ordered our drinks from the bar. We found a cosy corner and made ourselves comfortable. The girls sat next to each other on a padded bench and I sat on the other side of the table in a high back wing armchair so I could look at both of them at the same time. I wanted to see how they reacted to my questions.

Carol came over with our drinks. She gave Karen a kiss on the cheek and me a hug, she ruffled my hair. Karen induced her to Gillian calling her Jilly.

"You remind me of someone," Carol said to Gillian, but she didn't wait for a response. Turning to Karen, she asked if we wanted food and seeing us nod she listed the specials. The girls ordered the grilled salmon and salad. I was happy to hear that my favourite was on the menu, game pie.

Once Carol had left, I looked at the two beautiful women sitting across the table. They both looked nervous and apprehensive, but they sat quietly waiting for me to start.

I swallowed a mouthful of my beer and then asked, "Why all these charades Gillian? Because I don't think a final weekend with Karen is what you are looking for."

"It did start out like that, I followed the script just the way my therapist proposed. But after meeting Karen last week I knew it would not be enough. I could sense that she still loved me." She turned to my wife and looked at her with desperation in her eyes. "Please don't deny it, I know you felt it as well."

"Jilly I've never stopped loving you, holding you in my arms brought it all back to the surface." Gillian's face lit up but lost its sparkle as Karen continued. "But as much as I love you, it doesn't compare to how much I love Neil."

Karen reached out and delicately caressed the side of Gillian's face. "You will always have a significant place in my heart, but he owns it. You were my first true love and you helped me understand who I am. I don't think I would have survived my first year at university if it hadn't been for you." She put her arm around Gillian and she responded by laying her head on Karen's shoulder with a little sob.

The image of the pair of them sitting opposite me brought back a fleeting memory.

"Now I remember you," I said. "That midterm party at Michael's a month or so after we met. I got there very late and you two were sitting just like that on the sofa. I was just happy to see she wasn't being hit on by Michael's mates." I gave an ironic laugh. "Only you were hitting on her weren't you?"

She smiled ruefully back at me, "That's right, only it was probably one of the few times I wasn't trying to win her back. I just told her that I was going to the States the following term to finish my degree."

"I couldn't let you see me crying," Karen remembered. "I had to rush off to the loo, I was scared you'd ask awkward questions."

"Time for a bit of honesty I think," I said. "Who wants to go first?"

There was a long pause while they looked at each other. "I'll go first," Gillian said.

She leant forward so she didn't need to shout. She held out her hand and Karen took it.

"Here goes. When Karen told me she'd fallen in love with you, my world fell apart. I was freer with my relationships, but I always knew that Karen loved me. She was the one I'd go back to and she'd take me back each time. When she rejected me, I had to get away and there was an opportunity to finish my studies in New York. I jumped at it hoping for a fresh start and didn't I just get one. The drama professor got me a job as an extra on a film. An old student of hers was directing it."

"She went with me and introduced me to Rachael, the director. When she heard my British accent, she gave me a few lines to say. She gave me a small role in her next film and then the roles kept coming along until three years later I'm staring in my first movie."

She took a sip from her drink and then continued. "And yes before you ask I did sleep with Rachael. The sex was fun, but I didn't love her. I've stumbled from one role to the next and one affair to the next. I love the acting, but not one of my affairs actually meant anything. I knew that there was something missing. I enjoyed the sex, but there was never the spark. I love Karen and I always will."

"This is where it gets a bit embarrassing. I've had a firm of private investigators on retainer for the past five years. They've been keeping an eye on both of you."

"What the fuck!" I exclaimed.

"I wasn't looking for anything bad," she assured us. "I wanted to know what Karen was doing. I just wanted to feel like I was part of your life. They'd send me updates, photos and videos. Getting new ones were the highlights of my week. They let me know if you were going somewhere I could watch you safely. I even sent you tickets to events so I could see you."

"A month ago they informed me you were going to Chicago to the conference. I had it all set up so that when we met it would look like a complete accident."

Karen said, "You're a Hollywood megastar, how did you keep this secret? If it came out you were spying on us the gossip columnists would have plastered all over the papers."

"Money buys silence," said Gillian. "Plus everything is done through my lawyers and they use several different cut-outs."

We fell silent as Carol served our food. She looked carefully at Gillian and then said quietly, "You're Gillian Faith aren't you? I thought I recognised you earlier."

I said, "Damn it, Carol don't tell anyone. She's an old friend of Karen's and the last thing we want is for a pack of paparazzi to descend on the village."

"I wasn't going to say anything, but I don't know if you've seen this. It might be wise if I give Philip and the lads a heads up in case people start asking questions about her." She laid a tabloid paper on the table open to the gossip pages. Then she walked over to a couple of the local lads from the village cricket team and started talking with them.

Gillian's face was prominent under a banner headline.

'JACK AND JILL. BIG BUST UP IN RESTAURANT'.

"Fuck!" Gillian looked around her as though she expected hordes of photographers to pop up. "The big bust up was me saying I needed a few days alone to sort out a personal issue and him taking a huff and walking out on me. He was a bit of a waste of space so it's no great loss."

Karen said, "Are you talking about Jack Williams, the singer?"

Gillian nodded.

I gave her a questioning look, she'd mentioned splitting up with her boyfriend earlier, but I hadn't registered it. "Am I missing something here, your boyfriend?"

"Neil, I'm bi, I prefer women, but I do enjoy sex with the odd man. And having a boyfriend is right for my public persona. Karen was only interested in women when I knew her, I was so shocked when she told me she'd fallen in love with you."

"Yes, that's another thing I've learnt today."

Karen reached out and grasped my hand, "I know I should have told you before this. It's true that when I first met you, I was only interested in women. I met you and that changed, now you are my only love. I've never met another man I'm attracted to."

I had to ask the question that was in the front of my mind. "What about other women. Have you had any other lovers since I've known you?"

"No one new since before Thailand when you asked me to marry you. And before that, there were no mad love affairs, but I'd kept in contact with my old friends in the flat."

The overnight stays at her old flat I thought. "The nights you would stay over at your old flat. I never understood why you kept your room, it makes sense now."

"It was an extremely confusing time for me. I thought of myself as gay and yet I loved a man. You only had to smile at me and I went weak at the knees. I'd go back to the flat and immerse myself in the company of women. But all it did was prove to me how much I love you. If you recall my visits to the flat, tailed off in the last few months."

"So all those months you'd leave my bed and find solace in the arms of your lovers," I said bitterly.

"I was trying to understand all my conflicting emotions."

"And did you ever resolve them?"

"I love you that's the simple truth, but I still find women attractive."

I laughed to myself, "And I used to be worried about the men in your office. Now I guess I need to worry about the women."

"I might go window shopping darling, but I will never go into the shop." Her tone was bright but brittle to my ears.

We'd finished the food and Carol took the empty plates away. Nature called and I needed to recycle the beers I'd been drinking. As I walked back to the corner, a couple of the lads from the local cricket club called me over.

"Mum's given us the nod about your guest," Philip said. We'll pass the word around on the QT. If we see anyone hanging about, we'll suggest they move on and we'll let you know."

I grinned, from past experience, Philip's idea of suggesting someone move on was usually achieved with the aid of his size twelve boots and a quick visit to the duck pond. "Thanks, mate, I owe you."

"Funny you should say that, but we're a man short for the match on Saturday." I groaned theatrically and the pair of them laughed.

I made my way back to the girls. They'd moved apart on the bench leaving a place between. They indicated they wanted me to sit there.

Gillian started, "I want to say I'm really sorry, I never wanted to damage your marriage. It's just, I so missed her. I really did want a last weekend, but I was hoping that it would also be the start of something with both of you. When I saw her last week one of the things she mentioned was that you loved her so much, you were willing to let her have one chance to stray."

Gillian took a deep breath and continued. "So I worked on her until she agreed to spend some time with me. I wanted her to stay for the weekend after the conference, but she refused."

Karen said, "There was no way I could do it without talking to you first. I know you gave me your permission all those years ago, but I needed you to say it was ok again. I was hoping that you trusted me enough that you wouldn't ask awkward questions and I wouldn't have to own up to my lesbian past."

"I just wish you'd explained why you wanted to go. I thought I was losing you."

"Never love," she whispered as she took my head in her hands and pulled me into a long sensual kiss that left us both gasping. Then to my surprise, Gillian pulled me around to face her and drew me into a passionate kiss.

I must have looked panicked. Karen took my hand and smiling whispered, "Its ok." So I relaxed and enjoyed the kiss.

After the kiss, I rested my head on the back of the bench and said, "Thank you for that but I thought you didn't like me?"

"You're growing on me and it was only in the early days I hated you. Now I'm just jealous of the relationship you have together. I wanted to try for myself and discover what it is that Karen sees in you."

"And?" Karen asked.

"He kisses beautifully."

"He does, doesn't he," she said with a sigh. I looked back and forth at the soppy grins on both of their faces and came to the conclusion that they were both daft. Not that I was ever going to say it out aloud, I value my body parts too much.

Then suddenly I was alone on the bench as they disappeared in the direction of the loos. There seems to be an unwritten rule that no woman can ever visit the bathroom alone. The question that every man has asked himself is. What in gods name do you do in there that requires two or more of you? On second thoughts leave me my fantasies.

Every man and most of the women followed their progress across the pub. I smiled as more than one of the lads at the bar had to adjust his jeans. One guy swivelled so much on his bar stool he had to clutch at the counter to stop falling off.

Carol walked over. "Christ lad, you put the cat amongst the pigeons with those kisses. It's the first time I've ever seen every man in the bar drooling and that includes Roger who's as bent as a nine bob note."

I had to laugh at the thought of Roger drooling over women. The trouble was I has a mouthful of beer at the time and it went down the wrong pipe. I was still red in the face and Carol was wiping down the mess on the table when the girls returned from the bathroom. I got a puzzled look from them which made me laugh and choke again.

Karen said, "I think it's time for us to go, Neil, we have something we'd like to discuss when we get home."

I paid the bill and we headed out of the pub. Philip caught me as we were leaving.

"Don't forget the match on Saturday. It starts at one, and......" I had to smile he said all that without once looking at me. His eyes were fixed on Gillian. She smiled at him and he completely lost his train of thought.

"Err...yes whites....bowling," then he got himself under control. "Karen, will you and your friend be coming to watch Neil make a fool of himself on Saturday?"

She gave me a questioning look.

"The guys are keeping an eye out for any paparazzi and in return, I'm playing on Saturday."

She looked at me and then said with no emotion in her voice, "If we're here we will come along Philip." Again she looked at me and I couldn't read her expression.

We walked back to the cottage in silence. I wasn't sure what I'd done but apparently agreeing to play cricket had upset her.

The frosty silence continued as we settled down in the lounge at home. I opened a bottle of wine for them and poured myself a whiskey before sitting down in the armchair. I watched the two of them poised on the edge of the sofa.

"Jilly's invited both of us to her place in the south of France this weekend," Karen said as she watched me intently.

Ahh, the penny dropped! This was what they had been plotting in the loos at the pub. Me agreeing to play on Saturday had put a spanner in their plans. Well, not really because I would never have gone.

"Sorry love," I replied lightly. "A promise is a promise and I've agreed to play on Saturday."

"Can't you get out of it?" She asked hopefully.

"Probably, but I'm not going to. In return for the lads discouraging any paparazzi that turn up, I agreed to play as they are a man short. And quite frankly being the third wheel at her villa isn't my idea of a fun weekend."

Karen looked hurt, "That's not fair, you were never an afterthought, and I wouldn't leave you alone this weekend so Jilly suggested you could come with us."

I drew a deep breath in and let it out slowly to control my anger. Then with a deep sigh, I said, "And that's my problem love. The us in that statement isn't me and you, it's you and her!" I sat back in my chair and watched the conflicting emotions flit across her face. Annoyance, followed by a realisation of what she said and then fear.

She came and knelt at my feet, she rested her arms on my knees and looked up at me. "I'm so sorry, we...I...thought that it would be an excellent opportunity for you to get to know Jilly."

"Did you want to go?"

She hesitated for a long time before saying softly, "Yeeess....."

My face fell, she saw my expression and said, "But not if you won't join us." Then turning to Gillian said. "I'm sorry Jilly, I can't go if Neil doesn't want to."

Relief began to infuse me, but she ruined the moment when she turned back to me and asked pleadingly, "Can she stay with us this weekend?"

"She's your friend," I said and then looked her straight in the eyes hoping that what I meant. "And as a friend she's welcome to stay."

Karen nodded in understanding and then rose up to her knees to kiss me.

It had been a long and traumatic day. The beers I'd drunk earlier began to tell. I stifled a yawn and said, "I'm sorry but I'm tired and I need to going to bed. I have a lecture and a couple of tutorials in the morning. I should be home early afternoon. What are your plans?"

"I have to go into the office tomorrow, I called in sick today and put off a couple of meetings that I'll need to deal with. I should be home at the usual time."

"And what do you want to do?" I asked Gillian.

"If you are ok with it I'd like to stay the weekend. I'll go back to London in the morning and deal with my publicist and agent. I can be back a bit after six if that's ok?"

This time, I couldn't stifle the yawn. "That's fine. Sorry, I really need my bed, I'm going up. Gillian, Karen can show you the spare room."

"I need to borrow a tee-shirt or something to sleep in. Karen have you got something I could use?"

"Of course. Neil, I'll lock up and see Jilly's got everything she needs. I won't be a few minutes," she stressed.

I nodded gratefully and headed upstairs. I undressed and had a quick shower and then lay down on the bed, our bed I reminded myself. I could smell Karen's scent on her pillow. I sighed, how close was I to losing her I wondered. Gillian's presence seemed to be a catalyst, reawakening her hidden sexuality. She still professed to love me and only me. But some of her recent words and actions made me wonder.

Unbidden, tears formed and began trickling down my face. I don't think I would survive if she left me. She'd woven her psyche so tightly into mine that it would tear me apart.

She must have undressed in the bathroom and entered the bedroom so quietly I wasn't aware of her presence until the bed shook as she lay down beside me and wrapped her arms around me.

"Please Neil believe in me," she whispered. "I couldn't live with the thought that I'd lost you."

I rolled over to face her and her eyes widened when she saw my tear-stained cheeks.

Her voice caught in her throat and tears appeared in her eyes. She murmured, "Please tell me I haven't lost you, I can't imagine my life without you."

I gently ran a finger down the side of her face. "You're not going to lose me love, but I scared I'm losing you. I get the impression you aren't happy at the moment."

She moved closer, her soft skin pressing against me. Her hand caressed my back. "I'm never going to leave you," she said. "Jilly's made me all confused. I never stopped having feelings for her, but until last week she was just a happy time in my life that I'd thought I'd grown out of."

"So where do we go from here?" I asked.

"There's nowhere to go. I'd like to stay in contact with her but as a friend rather than a lover."